Sex and the City


posted to on February 26, 2004


Back in 1994 Candace Bushnell began writing a column in Arthur Carter's weekly NY Observer called "Sex and the City". Since Carter's upscale salmon-colored publication was being given away for free on NYC's Upper East Side at the time, I would pick it up to satisfy my unquenchable reading addiction. I was also curious to see where Carter was going with his NYC paper, which seemed to be modeled on his Litchfield County Times--an outlet for coverage on antique auctions, debutante balls, yacht races and other WASP foibles in Connecticut.


I was puzzled at the time why Arthur Carter would also be the publisher of the Nation Magazine, a journal that I had a strong identification with in the late 1980s and even sent donations to from time to time. Of course, it is much clearer to me in hindsight that Carter was part of a process to shift the magazine to the right, where it now sits as a kind of Kerberos of liberal orthodoxy.


I remember Bushnell's column leaving me cold at the time. It was a hodge-podge of fictionalized references to the nightlife of Eurotrash, investment bankers, models and freelance writers that she had access to. Her columns left me cold because I had some familiarity with this world as well and what I saw left much to be desired. Escorted by an old friend from Hollywood and the Catskills, I had spent enough time in Nell's (a trendy disco), the Hotel Chelsea (a Warhol hangout) and art galleries to know that these were not places to have an intelligent conversation, which for me is the ultimate aphrodisiac.


Bushnell's columns were transformed eventually into the highly acclaimed HBO series, which had its final episode last week. Co-Producer Sarah Jessica Parker played Carrie Bradshaw, who is loosely modeled on Bushnell. The three other lead characters were single females who like her were on a nonstop hunt for sexy men, great restaurants and drop-dead designer clothing. You never find any reference to the other NYC in this show. The stars never take subways, they are never confronted by homeless people and they never worry about AIDS. In other words, their NYC has about as much connection to the real thing as a Woody Allen movie, or its antecedent in another troubled time, the movies of Fred Astaire.


I would also have to confess that I became a big fan of this show over the past few months. I will explain why momentarily.


For people who had been watching the show for a long time, especially women who identified with the four co-stars, the final episode was a major event. People gathered together to watch it. The New York Times reported:


What better way to mark the end of "Sex and the City" than a ménage à 50?


Across New York, people commemorated the end of the cable television show that romanticized New York City for six seasons by massing together and tuning in. Bars pushed "Sex and the City" parties. Friends gathered at one another's apartments. Out-of-towners bereft of cable posted desperate messages on Internet bulletin boards.


One party that captured the spirit and meaning of the show could be found inside a loft on West 49th Street. Fifty women, some in their 20's and some in their 50's, some friends and some strangers, piled onto couches and sat on the floor to watch the last unfurling of a television show that seemed always to be about them.


They got slightly drunk on wine and pomegranate-red Cosmopolitans, laughed at the same moments and cried through the ending. Some hooted and others clucked when the main character, a sex columnist named Carrie Bradshaw (played by Sarah Jessica Parker), decided to abandon her boyfriend in Paris and return to New York with a recurring love interest, known, until last night, only as Mr. Big (played by Chris Noth).


The show's final punch line - that Mr. Big's name is John - drew shrieks all around.


As people trickled into the cavernous white loft, they marveled how, over its six years, a show that began with jokes about oral sex and orgasms had become such a part of their lives.


"It's a sad night for us," said Jalande James, 29, who organized the party at the rented loft as part of Just Us Girls, a social network for women in New York. "We've lived with it for so long. When I moved here from Florida, I knew nobody. I'd watch 'Sex and the City' and think, 'Oh my God, they have such wonderful lives.'"


In Preston Sturges's "Sullivan's Travels", a screwball comedy made in 1941, the eponymous lead character is a Hollywood director who has become highly successful making comedies, but who is frustrated with the studio's refusal to allow him to make serious films about the working class. In other words, Sullivan appears to be a fictionalized representation of Sturges himself. Sullivan decides to go on the road disguised as an unemployed worker in order to learn about the working class firsthand. In a string of comic mishaps, he learns that workers are somewhat different than the idealized notion he had of them. In the stunning climax of this classic film, they show one of Sullivan's comedies to an audience of chain gang prisoners. They laugh until they cry. This becomes an epiphany to Sullivan, who realizes that the gift of laughter is precious and that it helps us get through life.


That is my reaction to "Sex and the City". In a time of deepening social and economic crisis, war and environmental despoliation, you need to laugh in order to keep from crying, as the title to a great Harry Edison jazz record once put it.


"Sex and the City" is one of the few laugh out loud comedies you can enjoy anywhere. With the collapse of Woody Allen, there are very few adult entertainments out there. Comedy has become cruder and more misanthropic, with the films of the Farrelly brothers setting the standard. As escapist fare, it ranks with the stories of P.J. Wodehouse that depicted a world of dotty English aristocrats having about as much relationship to reality as the glittery world of "Sex and the City".


Here's a summary of a typical week's episode. If you think that you might enjoy this sort of thing--not everybody's cup of tea I would be the first to admit--you can find all of the episodes in your local DVD/Video shops.




The girls are invited to the unlikely wedding of Carrie's supposedly gay friend, flamboyant lounge singer Bobby Fine to society lady Bitsy Von Muffling. Stunned by the news, Carrie thinks about what it takes to make a relationship work. She asks: When it comes to saying 'I do,' is a relationship a relationship without the zsa zsa zsu (aka: that special something that gives you butterflies in the stomach)?


Charlotte's new 'just sex' partner, Harry, invites her to be his date for the big Hamptons wedding. Charlotte worries about his crass behavior, but accepts provided that hairy Harry wax his back. In another not so clear relationship, Miranda inexplicably finds herself having sex with Steve. Meanwhile, Samantha calls upon the services of her ex, Richard, in another way: she arranges to throw a party at his house in the Hamptons.


On the way out to the Hamptons, Carrie runs into Jack Berger, who tells her he broke up with his girlfriend. Carrie can't help but feel that zsa zsa zsu. At Samantha's fabulous pool party, Carrie and Berger have a heart to heart about relationships past, but it's too much for Berger to handle and he departs suddenly and swiftly. Carrie wonders if she should just throw in the towel and settle for a so-so relationship. Samantha struggles to enjoy herself because of the appearance of three of Richard's bikini-clad bimbo babes. She accuses the party-crashers of freeloading but realizes that she herself is still hurting over the end of her affair with Richard.


At Bobby and Bitsy's wedding, the girls find themselves moved by the mutual love of the bride and groom. It appears Bobby and Bitsy do have the zsa zsa zsu. Obviously inspired, Charlotte tells Harry mid-dance that she may be falling in love with him. He says he shares her feelings but that he's Jewish and he has to marry a Jew. Also on the dance floor, Berger tells Carrie that he'd like to go on a date with her before they break up. Carrie is reminded why she refuses to settle for anything less than butterflies.


Sex and the City website: