Annie Berke

A MAD DAY IN THE LIFE OF A PROGRESSIVE!
Your alarm rings, and you spring up, ready to greet the day! A quick breakfast of organic                               (food), and you walk over to your                               (liberal arts subject) class. You forgot to do the                               (author you have been assigned repeatedly for class) reading, but that's okay — you can BS your way just fine! In class, your professor cracks a topical joke about how                               (conservative) accidentally shot                               (celebrity) who he thought was a                               (favorite animal). The one Republican kid in the class doesn't laugh. You make a comment at the beginning of class about how                               (abstract concept) is a social construct — now you can relax until class is over!

After you are done with classes for the day, you flyer for your organization,                               (acronym), which works on behalf of                               (disenfranchised group) everywhere. You run into that cute guy/girl you met at                               (extracurricular), and s/he invites you to a party in his/her suite! Naturally, you go.

When you arrive, you hone in on your object of desire. You chat about the highly acclaimed film about two                               (adjective) cowboys, and both agree that during the last scene you couldn't stop                               (gerund verb). Together you wince at the                               (stereotypical college type) who has come to the party dressed as a                               (noun). There is such a thing as                               (noun), s/he whispers.

Several cups of                               (liquid) later, s/he suggests you come to his/her room to listen to a new track by                               (adjective)                               (noun). You sexily consent. You feel ready to go, eager to experiment with such adventurous sexual positions as the                               (something you find on a farm) and the reverse                               (something that reminds you of the Wild West), not to mention some                               'ing (number).

But suddenly, your host/ess takes matters into his/her own hands. S/he removes his/her                               (noun) and tells you, “                                                            !” (slogan from popular commercial). What the                               (expletive)?! You race out of the room and head back home, where you check                               (internet directory designed for stalking) and discover that your Dream Date identifies him/herself as a                               (undesirable political affiliation). Ick! That was one close call! You begin to feel                               (negative emotion) about the whole affair until you remember that, at the rally this Saturday, you are sure to find someone new!