Chastity
A Guide for Teens and Young Adults

INTRODUCTION

In the summer of 1940 a group of approximately fifty Jesuit Fathers met at Campion, Prairie du Chien, Wisconsin, for the annual convention of the Midwest Section of THE INSTITUTE OF RELIGIOUS EDUCATION. In the course of that 1940 convention the members of the Institute (mostly student counsellors and professors of Religion in Jesuit colleges) thoroughly discussed the need of a text on chastity adapted to the intellectual and practical requirements of young men and women just entering college. It was agreed that such a book was needed; and a committee of t1free was appointed to plan and prepare the text. The committee wits composed of the Reverend Benjamin R. Fulkerson, S. J., A. Al., S. T. L., of the Department of Religion, St. Louis University, St. Louis, Missouri; the Reverend Clarence F. Whitford, S. J., A. AL, Ph. D., of the Department of Philosophy, Marquette University, Milwaukee, Wisconsin; and the present writer. During the following year a text was prepared, and this text was unanimously approved by the members of the Institute at the 1941 convention. The text, as approved, was planographed and was used experimentally during the next year and a half. The present printed edition is substantially the same as the planographed brochure.

In preparing the book the committee sought to give to young men and women of approximately college age a clear, adequate presentation of the Catholic moral teaching on chastity. Since we presumed that the majority of the readers to whom the book was directed would be unmarried, we limited our subject almost exclusively to extra-marital chastity, and in our practical illustrations and applications we made frequent reference to questions of greatest interest and profit to youth of today: for example, kissing, reading, conversation, entertainment, and purity of thought.

We did not wish, however, to confine our treatment of chastity to the solution of practical cases. Because of the radical views on purity prevalent in our "modern world" our young men and women need to be well instructed in the obligations of chastity and to have a deep appreciation of the motives, particularly the Christian motives, that are calculated to inspire one to practice the virtue of chastity. We have included chapters that deal specifically with these points. Moreover, since the obligations and ideals of chastity can hardly be completely understood without some consideration of the more general questions of friendship, companionship of the sexes, and love, we have prefaced the treatment of chastity with several chapters on Friendship and Sex Attraction.

The experimental planographed edition of this book was entitled Chastity, and Catholic Youth. During the period of experimentation it was used as a textbook in many colleges and universities in classes representing a variety of groups--college men, college women, and religious of both sexes. A number of student counsellors also used it in their guidance work.

Many non-Catholics read the experimental brochure. and found it helpful. Some of these suggested that tile word Catholic be dropped from the title lest it give other non-Catholics the impression that the book is only for Catholics and thus deter them from reading it. Our non-Catholic readers themselves pointed out the fact that the larger part of the book contains material that would be very helpful to earnest non-Catholics, and that even the specifically Catholic parts would be at least informative, if not inspiring. We welcomed this suggestion, because the preservation of purity is surely one of the points on which all good people, especially those who profess to be Christians, should zealously cooperate.

A word about the authorship of the book. After the committee was appointed by the members of the Institute, it was agreed that the undersigned should write the book with the collaboration of Fathers Whitford and Fulkerson. Both collaborators assisted in planning the book and gave detailed criticisms of the completed manuscript. Besides rendering this general assistance, which extended to all parts of the book, Father Whitford was particularly helpful because of his knowledge of the psychology of instinct, and Father Fulkerson contributed from his own notes a large share of the concrete suggestions contained in chapters V and VI.

In conclusion, the author wishes to acknowledge a special debt of gratitude to the Reverend Francis Hurth, S. J., Professor of Moral Theology at the Gregorian University, Rome. Much of the material on the analysis of the sex instinct contained in the early chapters of this book is adapted from the private notes of Father Hurth and is used with his permission. Grateful acknowledgement is also due to Father Bakewell Morrison, S. J., Chairman of The Midwest Section of the Institute of Religious Education, for his encouragement, and to Father G. Augustine Ellard, Professor of Ascetical Theology at St. Mary's College, St. Mary's, Kansas, for invaluable criticism.

Gerald Kelly, S. J.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Chapter I

TRUE FRIENDSHIP

The main purpose of the first part of this book is to analyze the psychology of sex attraction. However, as will appear later, there are certain elements of sex attraction that cannot be properly estimated without reference to the more general notion of friendship. Hence it is necessary to begin the entire section with an examination of what is meant, or at least what should be meant, by true friendship. It has been our experience with many young men and women who read the manuscript of this book that at first some were strongly inclined to balk-at our description of friendship. Their idea of a friend had always been: "I like him and he likes me" I and they were displeased on finding that that notion could not always square with the qualifications on which we insist. After considerable argument on our part and further consideration on theirs, they have generally come to the conclusion that we are correct.

It is essential to keep in mind from the beginning that we are talking about true friendship, not about a mere emotional fascination, or blind passion, or a companionship of mere convenience which is struck up today, is carried on pleasantly for a time, and then dies of its own weight. Real friendship differs considerably from these things. A companionship may be styled a real friendship only when it possesses these three qualities:

1) It is morally helpful to both parties;

2) There is a genuine basis of agreement between the parties;

3) Their mutual love is characterized by a spirit of self-sacrifice.

A few words about each of these qualities will lay a solid foundation for the first part of this book. For the time being it is well to omit any special application to love between the sexes. These three qualities distinguish true friendship wherever it is found, whether between persons of the same sex or of different sexes. The qualities have not been chosen arbitrarily or at random; they are given here as the result of long and serious study of the real meaning of friendship, and with the confidence that any thoughtful reader will agree with the enumeration.

Morally Helpful

To put this negatively, it means that a companionship is not a true friendship if it leads to sin, to troubles of conscience, to a lowering of ideals, to a weakening of faith, to neglect in the practice of one's religious duties. Such harmful moral effects violate the most elemental idea of real friendship. Friendship is founded on mutual respect, and it is impossible to have a sincere respect for one who has the influence of poison on the soul. True love seeks the good of the beloved, and this good is never found in sin.

Friendship should have a positive influence for moral good. The appreciation of the worthiness of the friend should inspire one to a similar worthiness. It lifts up; it brings both nearer to God; it is a union in Christ. An intimate companionship is bound to influence both parties, and only a good influence is worthy of friendship. There should be mutual help to avoid sin, and mutual inspiration to the practice of virtue.

This does not mean that in forming our friendships we must consciously strive for moral betterment, but it does mean that we should not consciously prolong a companionship that we recognize as morally evil. It does not mean that both friends must be equal in virtue, but it does mean that both should have an appreciation of and a willingness to practice virtue and that at least their influence on each other is not a hindrance to the practice of virtue. You can have a blind attachment for a person who leads you away from God, but you cannot have a genuine love for such a person. "I love you, so let's go to hell together," is language that simply does not make sense, whether expressed by word or action; whereas the contrary, "I love you, so I want to take you to heaven with me," is full of meaning.

Agreement

This point may seem too obvious for discussion, for we are accustomed to think of friendship in terms of common interests, common taste.3, similar likings, and so forth. The friend is one to whom we go for sympathy, encouragement, helpful advice, and inspiration; he is one with whom we can share joy and sorrow; he is, in fine, another self. All these things imply a very special kind of agreement.

Obvious though it may seem there are a few points about the agreement of friendship that may well be recalled here. The agreement, for instance, is genuine, not artificial. In this it differs greatly from mere fascination. If you have a strong emotional attachment to another, you will often note that it prompts you to like just what he likes, to want to do just what he wants, to think about things just as he thinks about them, yet all the while, if you are honest, you know deep down in your heart that the whole similarity is artificial, that this is not your ordinary way of living and thinking, and that it cannot last.

To know if the agreement of real friendship exists, one has to decide if there exists between oneself and one's friend a basis for lasting harmony. This does not mean that both must have exactly the same natural likes and dislikes. That kind of similarity may even be destructive of true, lasting friendship, because it makes things too easy, limits the beneficial interchange of views, and reduces incentive to mutual self-sacrifice dangerously close to zero. The ideal agreement of friendship implies the ability to work together harmoniously, with wholesome agreement on big and fundamental things and agreeable compromise in the lesser things. Differences of opinion and taste should be points of enjoyable mental contact and intercommunication, and not occasions for the breaking of the friendship.

Normally there must be some compromise, some mutual yielding in regard to personal likes and dislikes, in friendship. Few people can be intimate over a long period of time and always have the same desires at the same time or always be naturally pleasing to each other. There must be compromise, mutual yielding in such small things as how to spend an evening or how to decorate a room; there must be mutual overlooking of small faults and mutual respect for divergent opinions. But the compromise has to be limited to accidentals. It cannot enter the sphere of conscience. It cannot include such fundamental things as Creed, Moral Code, Method of Worship. At least for a Catholic, compromise in these latter things would violate the first rule of friendship. That is a difficulty often brought out at the time of a mixed marriage. The non-Catholic is sometimes of the opinion that he is being dealt with unjustly when he is asked to promise to allow the children to be brought up as Catholics. In reality, it is the only way that the case could be solved without an immoral compromise, for non-Catholics generally agree on the principle that one Christian religion is as good as another, whereas it is part and parcel of a Catholic's faith that his is the one true Church. He could not conscientiously allow his children to be brought up in any other church, whereas most non-Catholics can do that without violating their consciences.

The wider the field of intimacy and harmony among friends, the richer and more extensive is their friendship. Thus, all other things being equal, two saints enjoy a richer friendship than do ordinary people because their capacity for mutual sharing is more profound. So, too, all other things being equal, a friendship between two good Catholics is richer Than a friendship that exists between a Catholic and a non-Catholic, for the simple reason that the former have a much larger field of common interests and a much deeper bond of common sympathy. But, whatever be the scope of their mutual intimacy, friends should always realize that they can and should keep their friendship vital and make it richer by a constant striving to reproduce in oneself the good one finds in the other. And this really brings us to the third quality of friendship.

Self-Sacrifice

It is not mere poetry to say that true friendship involves a blending of souls. In any blending process, each element gives up something of itself, of its own individuality, and thus contributes to the common result. Friendship is the result of an analogous union of souls --each gives his best to the other. In practice, this giving of one's best means sustained self-sacrifice. Friendship cannot endure without it.

St. Ignatius, speaking of friendship between God and the soul, gives these two simple signs of the love of friendship: First, it shows itself by deeds rather than words. Secondly, if one friend has good things, he wishes to share them with the other. These are good norms for human friendship, too; they indicate the quality of self-giving that is the salt of all friendship.

To keep this from being too theoretical, it is well to look at some of the many practical ways in which self-sacrifice plays its part in keeping friendship alive. For example, there are the compromises already mentioned. Each compromise requires a certain gracious "giving in," and the willingness to do this is incompatible with unyielding selfishness. When you have known a person for a long time, especially when you associate with him intimately, you begin to notice small defects that you may not have perceived at the beginning; sometimes, because of changing moods, these defects begin to "get on your nerves. " These moments can be fatal to friendship unless one resolutely crushes the inclination to concentrate on them and make much of them. Or again, suspicions and jealousies may arise in the mind. The loyalty necessary for friendship demands that such things be banished.

A friend should be a resort in time of trial, one who can give sympathy and encouragement, one who has a willing ear for both troubles and pleasures. Often enough it is not difficult to exercise these good offices of friendship, but sometimes it happens that you are in a contrary mood just when your friend needs help. You would much rather talk about yourself. At these times, the readiness to fulfill. the duties of a friend cheerfully requires great self-sacrifice. Again it happens that at the beginning of friendship, both are quite spontaneous in performing little kindnesses and courtesies; but the familiarity of friendship has a tendency to blunt this spirit of thoughtfulness. Yet such thoughtfulness in little things must be kept up, and doing so requires constant self-discipline. Finally, each friend should be a moral inspiration to the other; and there in no doubt that the day-in and day-out attempt to be worthy of the other, to be a help to the other, makes constant demands on one's self-love.

The foregoing examples give some indication of how friendship is a perpetual and mutual self-giving. This need of self-sacrifice may be summed up in a few words: there must be patience with defects, rejection of suspicions, constancy in service, a real desire and a genuine effort to understand each other--in fine, the practice of the golden rule by both parties, especially in bad moods, disagreements, and misunderstandings. In themselves, these occasions of difficulty are small, arising out of the fact that we human beings have many imperfections. But constancy in facing them and cheerfully overcoming oneself in them requires a high quality of love.

A Rational Love

After the explanation of the three qualities of friendship, it should be evident that the love of friendship is not mere emotionalism or sentimentality or sense appeal. It is a rational love, a human love. We human beings differ from animals in that our minds can see the good and that we can freely direct our affections towards that good. There may or may not be much external emotion in our love; our hearts may or may not beat violently; but the essential thing, the fundamental thing, the human thing is that the head must also be used. Friendship is basically a love of the mind. One sees the goodness, the character of the friend, and upon this basis one strives for union.

Perhaps we should add here that in speaking of friendship we have been considering the ideal. Of course, in any definite friendship the qualities we have outlined admit of progress, and it may be that in the beginning they are present only very imperfectly. But they ought to be present at least in some degree; otherwise the friendship can hardly be called true.

Chapter II

GENERAL SEX ATTRACTION

As a social being, each of us has a natural desire for companionship and for the more intimate joys of friendship. As a member of a definite sex, each has a natural, God-given attraction toward the other sex which is quite different from the attraction that we normally experience toward the members of our own sex. This sex attraction manifests itself in almost innumerable forms; but when these varying manifestations are analyzed closely, it will be found that they can be reduced to these three: General Sex Attraction; Personal Sex Attraction; and Physical Sex Attraction.

General sex attraction may be defined negatively by stating that it is not directed towards any purely physical satisfaction and is not centered exclusively on an individual. It consists mainly in a somewhat intriguing interest in the members of the other sex and a peculiar responsiveness to their distinctive qualities. When, for instance, are especially attracted by the grace, the emotional susceptibility, the beauty, the tenderness of women. Women are attracted by the strength, the courage, the energy, the calm deliberation of men. Each sex is drawn to admire those virtues or qualities which stand out in some special way in the members of the opposite sex. Each experiences a more or less innate hunger to hear the voice of the other, to see the other, to he in the presence of the other. Each experiences a certain natural curiosity to know more about the mental outlook, the habits of life, the physical characteristics of the other.

This natural element of mystery that surrounds the other sex and this natural responsiveness to the complementary qualities of the other is what we mean by general sex attraction. It has a God-given purpose. It draws the two sexes together in social life, shows them their mutual dependence on, and mutual power over each other, and thus ultimately leads to the divine goal of sex, marriage and procreation.

Dangers

Ordinarily speaking, a wholesome social life between the sexes should be helpful rather than harmful to chastity, as it prevents the unnecessary repression of sex attraction and should develop in each sex a fine respect for the other. Thus parties, dances, and group entertainments and enterprises serve a fine purpose. But it is evident that when this interest in the other sex gets absorbing, when a boy's mind is constantly on girls, and a girl's mind is constantly on boys, then the danger of a transition from the general sphere to actual physical temptation grows strong. And if, impelled by this general interest, one seeks physical contact, then the danger grows. For instance, some, without any thought either of love or of physical passion, are inclined to kiss, as they say, "just for the thrill of it." It is one of the inclinations of general sex attraction which can easily lead to passion or immodesty. Insofar as it does that, it is a danger to the virtue of chastity, and such impulses ought to be controlled.

Curiosity about the other sex does not, in itself, imply anything unchaste. But when curiosity becomes morbid, when it leads to a stealthy way of seeking "informative" reading and pictures, or when it leads one to try to see more and more of the body of the other sex, then it easily becomes a source of physical stimulation and can be a great danger to chastity. We must face one fact quite frankly: if we want to know something about the circulation of the blood, we look it up, get the facts, and are satisfied. Curiosity about sexual matters is a different type of curiosity. Usually it is more than mere intellectual curiosity and involves to a greater or less degree the stimulation of the emotions. This easily creates desires for pleasures or actions which might never have been experienced had not the initial curiosity been satisfied. It also leads to a subtle urge to go back over the sources of information, not really for acquiring knowledge, because that has already been gained, but rather for the pleasurable emotions accompanying the acquisition of the knowledge.

To be blind to the emotional danger involved in the satisfaction of sexual curiosity is to play the fool. The Church never feigns blindness to this danger; she is constantly on the alert against it. For this reason, she justly condemns many modern systems of sex education which involve such errors as the following: the wholesale imparting of sexual information, whether useful or not; the attempt to make the subject of sex so commonplace that it can be publicly discussed without reserve; the theory that sex education consists merely in the imparting of physiological information, without reference to the soul, and without at the same time educating the will to chastity. Errors of this type simply ignore the plain fact that physical sexual impulses are easily aroused and hard to manage. Smoking under the proper conditions is quite harmless, but it might be very dangerous in an oil refinery.

Does all this mean that curiosity about sexual matters may never be satisfied? By no means. It simply means that common sense precautions must be taken. A sensible rule would go somewhat as follows: A young man or young woman can safely know the physiology and psychology of normal set life. The desire for such knowledge is generally within the sphere of general sex interest, and will not usually be the source of serious danger to chastity unless it is given or sought in unwholesome circumstances. But the repeated inclination to go back and learn the same thing over again when one already knows it, and the inclination to see as much of one's companions as one can see--these things very often carry one into the physical sphere and frequently enough they are nothing but subtle ways of seeking physical stimulation.

Concerning curiosity, need we add that in the matter of sex there are some things that are better left unknown I The sex instinct, like other emotions, has its pathology. Our modern newspapers and magazines seem to be guided by the principle that they are free to recount, even describe in detail, anything that happens simply because "it is true." This is a false principle. Details of crimes and sickness must be known by criminologists and medical men; such details need not be known by ordinary people--in fact, the very reading of them often has a distressing and shocking effect on the mind and the emotions. It is advisable, even from the point of view of our psychological well-being, to discipline our curiosity about such things. We ought to be satisfied with learning, in a dignified manner, those things that are necessary for or helpful to us.

Chapter III

PERSONAL SEX ATTRACTION

At some time in his life a boy usually has this experience: he likes, or is attracted by, many girls, but he has a special attraction toward one. And, of course, girls will have the same experience regarding boys. This special liking for an individual may be a case of mere friendship, and nothing more, or it may be the specific manifestation of the sexual instinct that we have referred to as personal sex attraction. These two experiences are quite different in their emotional manifestations, and it is very important that young men and women be able to distinguish between them, Hence, we- shall give here some of the principal contrasts by which they can be recognized.

I. The Simple Friendship

By the simple friendship we mean friendship in the most ordinary sense of the term, the kind that generally exists between members of the same sex. Such friendship is frequently termed Platonic, a name which indicates that it is predominantly a spiritual, or rational, love, without strong emotion or tendency to external manifestation. For instance, when you think of your best friend, you will find that your friendship is based on the fact that you appreciate him as good, agreeable, helpful, inspiring. Such an appeal is principally to the reason and not to the heart.

A certain calmness (not coldness), therefore, is characteristic of the ordinary friendship. It may be very strong and warm, but it does not usually tend to manifest itself by caresses. Some people, of course, are more affectionately inclined than others, and they may naturally he externally effusive in dealing with their friends; but such external manifestations are not necessary or ordinary in this kind of friend ship. Again, friends in this sense may get great joy out of being together, but they do not become restless or fretful when they are not together. Finally--a very distinctive mark of ordinary friendship--it does not monopolize the heart; there is no concentration of affection on the one person to the exclusion of others. Each friend can have other friends; and if jealousy arises from the multiplicity, this is due rather to individual weakness than to the nature of the friendship. The love of simple friendship, in other words, is not only a love of the mind (as all true friendships must be), but it is predominantly a love of the mind.

The simple friendship is more commonly found between members of the same sex. This does not mean that it cannot exist between members of opposite sexes. Evidently there are many cases of men and women who are just good friends and nothing mere. Friendships of that kind, however, must be especially guarded against external manifestations of tenderness, and if they begin to show any of the special characteristics of personal sex attraction, they should be broken off unless the parties are eligible for matrimony.

II. Personal Sex Attraction

Personal sex attraction has this in common with all friendship that it is an attraction to a person, a definite person, and not a were general interest or a physical attraction to the body; but it differs from ordinary friendship in its emotional manifestations and in the fact that it has a specific part to play in the divine plan of sex. Hence the name, personal sex attraction.

Perhaps the most distinctive characteristic of personal sex attraction is its exclusiveness. A person thus attracted wants complete possession of the beloved. The mere presence of a third party is resented. The mere idea that the loved one might feel some attraction toward another brings about a powerful urge of jealousy. This type of lover find-, that his own emotions have been thoroughly captivated and that be has little or no inclination towards others; hence he wants the same response from his beloved, the complete monopoly of her affections.

The basis for this attraction is hard to describe, but it differs greatly from that of the simple friendship. In the simple friendship, the friend is good; in personal sex attraction, the other party is wonderful! Definitely, it is an emotional fascination. How it starts is often a mystery. Sometimes the parties know each other for a long time, and there is a gradual build-up to this affection; sometimes it "just happens" like the blink of an eyelash. But when it does happen, it is generally found that the attachment is based on one or more of the characteristics that attract one sex to the other, only now these attractions have suddenly acquired a sort of personification in this one wonderful boy or girl, as the case may be. The basis of attraction might be such a trivial thing as the figure, the walk, the voice, the expression in the eyes, a smile; it might be something as general as one's distinctively masculine or feminine attitude towards life; or it might be some special quality of soul, such as strength, tenderness, delicacy, and the like. Whatever it is, it goes straight to the heart; hence the strong emotional fascination.

Absence, even for a short period, is hard on this exclusive love. It creates an absorbing feeling of dissatisfaction, a yearning for the other's presence. It is hard to do one's work, hard to think of other things, One is inclined to write frequent and effusive letters. The nerves get frayed in waiting. But when the two are together again, then all is heaven. The reunion brings a thrill, a lifting of the whole heart.

But this affection is not content with mere presence. It tends to pour itself out in sweet words, in protestations of love, in kisses and caresses. True, these tender signs of affection are not intended as stimulants of physical passion; they are meant as signs of love. But naturally they increase the thrill of mere presence; they heighten the general emotional excitement, and thus can easily reach the deeper sphere of passion and lead to external immodesty.

If personal sex attraction is mutual, then the natural result of its absorbing exclusiveness and intensity is a complete mutual assimilation of interests in the two parties. They tend to like and dislike the same things. They want to share everything from the most delicate of secrets down to the old-fashioned "ice-cream soda with two straws." To put it in a word, this type of mutual attraction locks the hearts together; each is convinced that this state of affairs will last forever, each craves a complete oneness with the other; they want to blend and share their entire lives. What a perfect psychological inducement to marriage!

Purpose

The foregoing may be called a thumb-nail sketch of what popular terminology is wont to call love. Popular magazines list its qualities under such titles as "How to tell if you're in love," "How to tell if he (she) loves you," and so forth. Its manifestations are considered the proper stuff for cheap humor, ridicule, pep talks, paternal chats by "one who knows," scientific analysis, and what not. This general broadcasting and cheapening tend to make us forget the God-given purpose of personal sex attraction. It is true that it often does involve humorous and ridiculous situations and that one of the greatest assets of a lover is a sense of humor; but it is also true that the subject has a beautiful and serious aspect which is appreciated only when we realize clearly why God gave us this inclination.

Personal sex attraction serves as an inducement to marry, and within marriage it is a wonderful aid to a happy, and we might add holy, married life. When we say that it serves as an inducement to marriage, we do not mean that it invariably leads to marriage; but it does tend that way, and the facts show that it leads to marriage with a certain unpredictability. No two people can cultivate a companionship. like this and assure themselves that they will not want to get married. Countless others have tried that and failed. As a matter of fact, if this attraction is not intended to lead to marriage, why should it have the effect of so completely locking the heart on one person, to the exclusion of others? Marriage is the only state of life that requires such a love. Outside of marriage such exclusiveness is a social nuisance. Or again, why the natural tendency to a complete assimilation and oneness of life with the other person I Marriage is the only union calling for such characteristics. There can be no reasonable doubt that God's purpose in giving this natural attraction is to lead people to marry

Within marriage, the divine purpose of personal sex attraction is shown even more beautifully. In God's plan, marriage is to be a life-long union between one man and one woman. Fidelity to each other is therefore an essential quality of marriage; each must promise that when contracting marriage, each has a serious obligation to live up to it. If the married persons had only spiritual love and the inclination of physical passion towards each other, the obligation of mutual fidelity would be extraordinarily difficult, for neither spiritual love nor physical passion ii exclusive. Hence, this attraction of the heart is a very important thing to have before marriage, and a very necessary thing to cultivate during marriage. It is a help towards immunity from sex attraction by others. With this aid, and with the constancy of spiritual love, married people find a real joy in their life-long fidelity. Moreover, this unfailing companionship is not merely a source of happiness to the husband and wife and a means of enriching their own personalities; it also forms the proper background for the rearing of their children. For when the parents are united in this tender and enduring love, their children are assured of the maternal and paternal care. that befits them.

Limitations

Personal sex attraction, therefore, has a definite, God-given place in marriage and in the preparation for marriage. But it also has very decided limitations, and these should be recognized. Those who are married should realize that this type of love is largely emotion, and like other emotions it is not permanent. It will not last unless it is cultivated by a conscious endeavor to preserve the tenderness and thoughtfulness and mutual agreeableness that were present at the beginning of their marriage.

The chief limitation to be recognized by the unmarried is that this attraction, like the other emotions, is blind. It is not necessarily unreasonable, but it works without reason. It may go out to a pen-on already married, to one who is too old, or too young, to a drunkard, to a scoundrel, to a woman who would not make a good wife for anybody. It does not ask about the person's virtue or compatibility. It works just as blindly as one's temper, and just as instinctively as one's fears. It has to be directed away from the wrong person and toward the right person. In other words, it is not real love, but only a fascination. It can fulfill its real purpose only when it is combined with the deep spiritual love of true friendship. Hence, any prospective partner in marriage has to be measured first according to the marks of true friendship. If these are not present, then marriage is the equivalent of tossing overboard the happiness of one's life find perhaps even the salvation of one's soul.

This rational appraisal of a prospective marriage partner should be made before personal sex attraction gets too strong. Otherwise it requires more than ordinary courage to turn back, in case one finds one is wrong. Furthermore, it should be remembered that this kind of attachment tends to deceive the judgment, because lovers are always inclined to think that the other is perfect and that they are completely compatible. There is need of common sense to avoid this danger. One must. hold the emotional fascination in check, reasonably examine the reality, and have the humility to take advice.

Dangers to Chastity

Even young people who have deep and sincere love for each other should sensibly realize that this type of sex attraction can easily prove a serious menace to chastity. The principal danger, of course, pertains to the manifestations of affection by kissing and embracing. In the beginning there might appear to be no danger at all because neither party would think of any immodest show of affection. Nevertheless, they are emotionally thrilled just to be together and this emotional state is heightened by caresses, even when modest. In this heightened emotional state, physical passion is very easily aroused. Hence the need of observing the common-sense F-E-A-R rule given by Father Morrison in his book, Some Problems and Their Answers (The Bruce Publishing Company, Milwaukee): When even modest signs of affection are frequent and enduring and ardent, there can be no just reason for them. That rule (F-E-A-R) is based upon the sound psychology that these things invariably arouse physical passion and this cannot be the aim of unmarried people in their demonstrations of affection.

For the young man, danger generally begins on the physical plane. He reacts swiftly to stimulation, and such reactions bring with them an urge to just a little more intimacy, which very quickly means an urge to immodesty. If these urges are not controlled, the result is sin. A young woman will very likely react less quickly in a physical way, though there is always a danger that emotional ardor will cross the line into physical passion, even in her case. But an even graver danger for her is that when her love is strongly stirred by marks of affection, then she will yield to his urges rather than offend him or lose him. Furthermore, nature has so fashioned her love that it exhibits in a marked degree the quality of self-surrender. When the fires of passion are once enkindled, this craving for self-surrender often becomes dominant.

The foregoing is not intended as a sermon. It is an objective psychological analysis of the danger to chastity that is inherent in personal sex attraction. We do not say that lovers need refrain from all marks of affection, or that they must be always in fear of sin. But they ought to realize that their instincts do need control and direction. And they ought to be able to enjoy each other's company without personal contact.

Not for Everybody

Evidently persons who are ineligible for marriage should not foster an affection of this kind. Nor should those for whom marriage must necessarily be a thing of the rather distant future. We are referring here particularly to young men and women in the early years of college and, of course, to all others who are in somewhat similar circumstances: for instance, those who will be separated by war conditions or other exigencies. We base this judgment on the following solid reasons:

1. The affection may rush you ahead faster than you thought of going, and you will contract a hasty and regrettable marriage. This has happened often.

2. You will be tied down to one person, and you will thus lose the general social advantages and contacts that should mean a great enriching of your life in the future.

3. By cultivating this affection, you expose yourself in a special way to the dangers to chastity already mentioned, because this love affair may be a very prolonged one, and the danger of violating chastity increases as the affection is prolonged without its logical culmination in marriage.

4. For a college student in particular: you will find it almost impossible to do full justice to your studies, and you may lose or seriously damage the very thing that you came to college to get-- an education, a profession.

There may be exceptions to these rules, but one cannot count on exceptions.

We have given considerable space to this discussion of what we have termed personal sex attraction because we think that earnest consideration of the strong and weak points of this attraction could do much to prevent the sorry situations that seem to be increasing rapidly today. This affection can be controlled and directed, and the time for exercising such control is before marriage. The idea that once the heart starts beating fast, all is lost, is absurd.

Chapter IV

PHYSICAL SEX ATTRACTION

The third type of sex attraction is physical attraction. This, as the word indicates, is an attraction of body to body. It seeks the other sex as a means of stimulating and satisfying physical passion; and it urges one, therefore, to such acts as will afford this satisfaction, chiefly to intimate and passionate embraces and, finally, to sexual intercourse.

Considered as merely physical, this attraction is something we share with the animals. Animals have the same urge, can perform the same acts, and obtain the same pleasure. The fact that it is animal activity, however, does not mean that it is beneath the dignity of a human being. Eating is also animal activity, but it is not beneath our dignity. But to act like an animal, that is, to be guided by blind impulse in these things, is beneath our dignity. If God should forbid us to eat a certain thing, it would be beneath our dignity to violate His law by eating it.. The ancient practice of eating to satiety, then vomiting, in order to get the pleasure of eating more, was certainly beneath the dignity of a human being. So it is with physical sexual activity: it is not beneath human dignity; it is not sordid, but it can be put to sordid uses. Yet the holiest things in the world can be put to sordid use. The Blessed Sacrament, for instance, has been put to the most sordid uses imaginable by impious men. Sexual activity i, put to many sordid uses by men, but it surely is not sordid when used according to God's plan.

It is not sound science to consider sexual relations merely in their animal aspect. They must be considered from all sides, if their true beauty is to be recognized. Psychologically, sexual union is intended as the expression of the noblest kind of human love; morally, it should be the consummation of the most solemn contract possible between two human beings. It is an act which Almighty God has decreed to be the normal prerequisite for the greatest event in the natural order, the creation of a human soul. In the supernatural order, it is not only a necessary condition for the increase of God's adopted family, but it has attached to it a most sacred symbolism. In the Old Testament (The Canticle of Canticles), the intimate acts expressive of conjugal love symbolize the love of God for the soul; in Catholic theological treatises on Marriage, the bodily union of husband and wife is said to signify the indissoluble union of love between Christ and His Church. These ideas show the full beauty that can and should be present in physical sex activity exercised according to God's plan.

This concept of physical relations also shows the depth of the meaning implied in the expression, conjugal love. For the love of married people for each other is not merely spiritual, nor mere emotion, nor certainly mere passion; but it crosses through all three spheres--the mind, the heart, the body--and is thus a distinctive type of love. Theirs is a love of the mind, a union of mutual esteem and appreciation which enables them to achieve harmony in the vast community of interests that make up married life; a love of the heart, affectionate and tender and exclusive; and a love of the body, through which they mutually find great joy in the utter self-giving which makes them "two in one flesh" and enables them to bring forth children as the fruit of their love. With this three-fold bond of love they are able to achieve the fun perfection of marriage. The physical provides for procreation; the exclusive attachment of the heart provides for fidelity; and the spiritual union of souls keeps them together unto death.

God's Plan for Sex Attraction

We can now have a clear view of the meaning of sex attraction in God's scheme of things. It begins normally with the dawn of adolescence, and during the formative years immediately afterwards general sex attraction serves the purpose of uniting boys and girls together in wholesome social activities and enabling them to get a proper appreciation of one another. During that time the impulse of personal and physical attraction should be held in cheek. Once sufficient maturity is achieved, then personal sex attraction, guided by, reason, can be used as the preparation for marriage. But this is not yet the time for physical impulses, so these must be controlled. After marriage physical attraction has its place and is the full blooming of the human sexual instinct. When these three steps are made in an orderly way, according to the law of God, sex is an aid to human perfection and a means of saving and sanctifying one's soul. This is, in outline, a psychology of sex attraction that fits into the Christian philosophy of life.

Chapter V

CHOICE OF A MARRIAGE PARTNER

The preceding chapters on friendship and sex attraction contain sound theory in a very compact form. They have to I)e read and studied thoughtfully before their full value is appreciated. But even after much study and full understanding, such theory is useless unless it is put into practice. The most important practical use of those chapters should be in the choice of a partner for marriage. In a certain sense, that question does not pertain to this book, as we are not dealing directly with the questions of courtship and marriage. However, many who read the book very likely are preparing for marriage and the question of choosing the right partner is bound to present itself; and even those for whom the book is primarily intended can profit by the consideration and thus know what to prepare themselves for and what to avoid, even remotely.

General Characteristics of Marriage Partners

We assume that all will agree with this statement: Human beings ought to prepare for marriage intelligently. Such intelligent preparation requires first of all the personal striving to fit oneself for leading a worthy and holy married life, and then the choice of the right partner. We shall say nothing about the personal preparation (though everything said about the partner might very well be applied to oneself), but we shall expand somewhat on the notion of choosing the right partner. Now, in general, it can hardly be denied that marital companions should have for each other: a) the qualities that each expects in his or her best friend, and b) sex attraction.

Your best friend: Leaving out the question of sex attraction for a moment, is it not reasonable to assume that a companionship so intimate as marriage, in which two people are called upon to blend their entire lives into one, must have all the requisites for the finest and truest kind of friendship?

And is it not unreasonable for a person to go to the altar and and enter into the most solemn kind of contract, in which he pledges his whole life to another until death do them part, without having some well-grounded assurance that the lasting qualities necessary for carrying on such a relationship happily and without extraordinary strain are present I Common sense gives the answer; so we say, before you marry anyone, check first on the qualities of true friendship and apply them as best you can to married life, and unless the prospect of fulfilling those conditions is very high, do not marry; and if you have already fallen head-over-heels for that particular person, break it up, no matter what the pain.

Sex Attraction: But marriage is not a mere Platonic companionship. It is definitely a relationship between the sexes, and God Himself has given sex attraction as an inducement to enter marriage and as a means of fulfilling its purpose. So, before marriage, there should be a mutual sex attraction. But, it need not be physical, especially on the part of the girl. Does that sound like an explosion of all the modern findings of sexology? It is not. We simply state, and we state it without equivocation, that one can enter marriage safely and surely without having any premarital assurance of physical sex attraction toward the person whom one is to marry. We do not say that physical sex attraction is not an ordinary requisite of a happy marriage; we agree perfectly with the statement that many marriages are unhappy because of lack of harmony in regard to physical relations. But we deny most emphatically that this lack of adjustment is the basic cause of the unhappiness. Almost invariably, the maladjustment is itself the result of something else; for example, undue ignorance, or fear, or the sheer selfishness of one or both parties.

In other words, we feel perfectly safe, both scientifically and conscientiously, in telling two young people that if they love each other with the love of true friendship, and if they have towards each other that attraction which we described as personal sex attraction, then they have the basic qualifications for a happy marriage. If such people are given competent instruction on the few difficulties that might present themselves in regard to the physical relationship, there is little to fear of marital unhappiness on that score.

These, therefore, are the general requisites for entering marriage: a ' true spiritual friendship, and personal sex attraction. They should be considered carefully before marriage, and not in a general way, but in regard to the needs of marriage itself. During the last several years almost innumerable tabulations of these needed characteristics have been printed. It is not our desire to add to the list of these catalogues or to write a compendium of them. However, we are going to indicate here many ways of making a practical application of the criteria of friendship and sex attraction, always keeping in mind that these criteria must be applied with a view to the companionship which is required in marriage. These criteria are meant for young men and young women alike, and we may be pardoned if we do not always use both pronouns. Whatever pronoun is used, both parties are meant, unless it is stated explicitly that the quality refers to the husband or the wife. We should like to preface these helps with the remark that this "check-up" cannot be a purely mechanical thing, like working a cross-word puzzle or adding up the score in a bridge game; hence do not mind if our divisions have not the accuracy of a catalogue of newly published books. In general, the summary of one's prospective partner (and incidentally of oneself) may be made somewhat as follows.

Moral Qualifications

Again we can argue from the requirements of ordinary friendship to the needs of marital companionship and say, if there must be agreement and harmony in all friendship, then a very high degree of such harmony is required in marriage. There should be a mutual understanding regarding religion and art and music and recreation, in reading, in conversation--well, in everything. A mutual understanding, that is, the parties have enough in common to come to harmonious compromises even in little things. They agree on big things, as we said before, and they know how to settle their little disagreements. When people achieve this kind of harmony, they avoid a prevailing situation that goes something like this: Jean likes a bit of poetry, but John likes to engulf himself in wood-pulp magazines; and when either one tries to read just a little bit to the other, things begin to go wrong in the house. Jean enjoys an occasional dance or theatre party, but John much prefers to sit with his shirt unbuttoned and his slippers hanging just over his toes and read his magazines or the newspapers until he begins to snore. The day comes when Jean decides she will have her dance after all, and John lets her have it; and after that many things happen, and now the little house that looked so nice when they were married has a "For Rent" sign in front of it, and John is living at the company boarding house, and Jean shares an apartment with a girl friend of hers. And the two children oh, yes, they are out with the Sisters at the orphan asylum.

Silly? Decidedly, but things like that happen. Just read the daily newspapers and see what a variety of trifles are listed under "mental cruelty" or some such charge for divorce. We are quite willing to admit that practically all such things could be ironed out by a decent spirit of self-sacrifice on both sides. But it is not common sense to leave everything to the manifestation of a spirit of self-sacrifice after marriage. Furthermore, there are some fundamental differences that you can practically wager will not be ironed out after marriage. Therefore, before marriage, the sane thing to do is to put infatuation aside and face the realities of life by checking up on the things belonging to married life that might make a tremendous difference in regard to this agreement factor. The following may be helpful questions in that matter:

Is there at least a reasonable degree of similarity between you in regard to the recreations you like? Could you both enjoy staying at home in the evening, especially. when children come? Are there any habits now that not only get on your nerves but which you find it extraordinarily difficult to overlook? Do both fit into about the same kind of social life? Does each get along with the other's family? Have both sufficient health for marriage? What are your respective habits of life: cleanliness, orderliness, good manners, good grammar? Are you able to harmonize judgments on things that pertain to family life: food, kind of house, furnishings, and so forth? Have you the same religion and same standards as to practice? The same attitude towards children and their education?

Do you feel at ease together, whether you talk about the weather or make love? If you do not meet for some time, are you able to take up where you left off, with something of the naturalness of a family reunion, or do you have to try to work up an acquaintance all over again? Has he a nagging, or reforming disposition? Do you see his failings, and are you willing to tolerate them; and does he admit them and is he willing to get over them? With children in mind, would you say that this person would be just the right other parent for them? Has he a sense of humor? Can he keep a secret?

Is it a wife you want: Can she cook? and make the house a home? Has she that womanly quality that instinctively puts things in order? (The Notre Dame Bulletin once cited the fable of a wise old fellow who tried this experiment: He was looking for the right girl, so he dropped a broom near the door. Five young women entered and stepped over the broom; the sixth picked it up. The wise man proposed-and there is much to be said for his wisdom.) And would this girl be a real mother; would that be a vocation for her? Could she bear children and sacrifice for them? Could she give the child that early introduction to God that would so fill his soul that he would never forget? Is she convinced that motherhood is an all-day and an all-night job; that it is the normal perfection of womanhood, and that those who take it right are enriched by it, no matter what sacrifices are involved? How does she speak of children? How does she treat them? What do her younger brothers and sisters think of her?

Is it a husband you want: How does he like children? Does he like to work? Can he hold a job? Has he a sense of responsibility? Is he "grown up," or does he have to be pampered? Too jealous? A braggart? An alibi-artist? Is he courteous?

You can multiply such questions till you are weary of it. They are not exactly a court-martial, but it is good to go over them because they bring one down to earth and keep one from estimating things merely on the score of fascination. Many points of agreement cannot be tested out before marriage, but often enough risks, at least glaring ones, can be easily recognized. Those about to be married must keep in mind that theirs must be a universal companionship. It is a psychological fact that you can work with some people, but you cannot play with them; you can play with others, but you cannot work with them; you can work and play with some, but you simply could not live with them constantly. In marriage you have to work together, play together, live together on terms of the utmost intimacy. And it lasts a long time. That requires great harmony in many things. What would be your score?

Self-Sacrifice

Selfishness is a terrific barrier to a happy marriage. A person who would have a favorable count on the first two points would, in all likelihood, not be selfish. Nevertheless, one should make a definite check of the prospective companion in regard to his thoughtfulness of others and his power of self-discipline. These few questions may be added to the foregoing as a means of making a more definite check on this important element of marital friendship:

At his home (each should know the other's family) does he show thoughtfulness of parents and brothers and sisters and do you get the general impression that this is ' the regular thing? What little kindnesses, not only to you but to others, have you noticed in him? When he is wrong does he admit it, and try to make up for it? Does he easily and graciously pass over others mistakes? Does he look for sympathy too much? Can he give sympathy willingly, or does someone else's trouble always bring out a greater trouble of big? Is he emotionally grown up; at least does he show that he knows his temper and jealousy and such things ought to be controlled?

As we said at the beginning we do not consider this set of questions mechanically perfect. It is intended merely as a tort of running examination to help one cheek up on the various things that pertain to friendship as it should exist in marriage. Many of the points mentioned are not in themselves important; the general picture that is created by the various answers is very important. A prospective bride or groom would do well to take advice from parents and good friends. They are on the outside and can be more objective, and they have very much at heart the question of a happy marriage.

Progress

There is one final point we should like to mention before leaving the subject of marital friendship. Perhaps we can best express it by telling what happens year after year in the novitiates of religious orders. Fine young men and women come to those novitiates bent on serving God with their whole souls. Gradually the ideals of the order begin to unfold before them, and to most of them at some time or other, there comes the depressing thought: "Oh, I can never get that high, not with all my faults." Then they learn an important lesson of their religious life: the order does not expect them to come to the novitiate as saints ready-made. It expects them to bring certain necessary qualifications for leading the life and a willingness to strive toward the ideals of that life. That striving will go on until death.

Marriage is not different, The various questions indicated here give a sort of conglomerate picture of the perfection towards which married people must be willing to strive. Neither party should expect all these characteristics to be present in a high degree at the time of marriage. But each ought to have the beginning of them and be willing to improve. And one of the supreme joys of their married life will be their mutual effort towards the perfect adjustment of all that pertains to their lives. A genuine willingness to improve is a guarantee of success.

Sex Attraction

Usually an examination is hardly necessary on this point; sex attraction is present or the parties would not be thinking of marriage. The more common difficulty is not to learn whether sex attraction is present, but rather to keep it under proper control. However, there are cases in which people make the mistake of thinking that Platonic friendship is enough for marriage, or they go to the other extreme and think that mere physical attraction is enough. Neither is enough. One must have at least the tendencies we described when we spoke of personal sex attraction. For instance:

Has your love an exclusive tendency about it, No that other boys or girls are ruled out I You need not be crude about it or go around insulting others just to show you care for only one, but you ought to notice a decided centering of your heart on this one. And have yon a tendency to feel jealous over this one party? Here again, the jealousy itself should be overcome, but the tendency is a good sign. And do YOU chafe when you two are separated I It is not a good thing to spend the time mooning or writing love letters, but it is a sign of sex attraction to be inclined that way. And do you want to kiss and embrace, or be kissed and embraced? There is absolutely no need of practicing these things, but the prospect should not be an unpleasant one. We always encourage reserve in kissing and embracing, and that in a good thing, even for engaged people; but the lack of the inclination would be a bad sign from the point of view of marriage. And finally, do you feel a growing tendency towards oneness of life; do you want to take complete possession of the beloved and give yourself completely? If these inclinations are present, then the necessary element of sex attraction is present,'and all that is needed in to keep this attraction of your heart from running away with your head. But if the love of the head in also present, and you are both old enough, and other circumstances of time and place and finance are favorable, then, as the old saying goes--let the wedding bells ring out.

Chapter VI

"FALLING OUT OF LOVE"

The first practical application of our theory of friendship and sex attraction was the choice of a suitable companion for marriage; the second in the rejection of an unsuitable one. For instance, it may happen that after having read the preceding chapters and been convinced of their truth, you will realize that already your heart has rushed before your head and you are now thoroughly infatuated with a person whom you cannot or should not marry. This might happen in any of the following cases: You find that he is already married; or that his moral outlook is such that you could scarcely live with him without constant sin, or at least without the most intense mental suffering in trying to avoid sin-- as in the case when one party is an advocate of artificial birth control; or that your religious differences are simply irreconcilable and would create a danger to your own or your children's Faith; or that your general incompatibility is such that the chances are strongly against your achieving any kind of substantial happiness together. Or it may be that none of these conditions exist, but you are a young college student who has fallen in love, and you now realize the dangers that we have previously pointed out-namely, that a love affair will be exceedingly hard on your profession, will block off the general social good you should now be reaping and will in all likelihood end in sin because of the necessity of prolonging it through several years.

This cold hard fact must be resolutely faced: sometimes love affairs must be broken up. It is seriously wrong to cultivate such a companionship with a married person, even though civilly "divorced." It is seriously wrong to prolong a companionship with a person who would in all likelihood have recourse to contraceptives after marriage. It is seriously wrong to put your own Faith or the Faith of your future children in jeopardy. And generally speaking, it is seriously wrong to enter marriage with a grave risk of substantial unhappiness, because normally we need at least substantial happiness in order to lead a good life. This does not mean that one may not marry a poor man or a sick man. Such marriages, though they may entail much suffering, can be very happy if the parties have the virtue which makes suffering profitable, but the case of marrying a drunkard, for instance, in order to reform him is different. Experience repeatedly shows that the actual chance of reforming such a person is dangerously close to zero and that the chance of a thoroughly miserable existence is fairly close to 100 percent. That is an extremely grave risk for anyone to take.

Since there are many cases in which the heart must be brought into harmony with the head by breaking off a love affair, we are including here a few suggestions that will prove helpful in accomplishing this difficult task. The first reaction. of a lover to our suggestions will probably be to consider them brutally technical and lacking in a sympathetic understanding of the whole problem. We hope that further consideration will tone down this attitude. All the collaborators in this work deal constantly in problems of courtship and marriage. We know that what we advise is hard; but discipline of the emotions is always hard-it cannot be done under an anesthetic.

Conviction

All the emotions, even love, can be controlled. It is important that one who has to accomplish the difficult task of tearing his heart away from a person with whom he is infatuated should realize that. It has been done countless times; it is being done every day. Even those who have not the supernatural aids offered by the Church do it. So, before everything else, convince yourself that you can and will break with this unsuitable party. Pray for this grace of conviction and offer some little self-denial to obtain the grace, and then resolutely follow these three rules.

RULE 1: Separate Physically From the Party:

This means no dates, no telephone calls, no correspondence. You cannot discipline an emotion while constantly feeding it on the things that stimulate it. And, in regard to these things, beware of that "just once more" temptation; it simply makes final control all the more difficult. On the positive side: go out with others, lead a wholesome general social life and conquer the temptation to crawl into a shell.

RULE II: Separate Mentally From the Party:

Physical separation will not help a great deal if you continually feed your imagination on reminders. go do not think of the person deliberately; do not continually bathe yourself in self-pity; and do not start hating the person, because that may be only a subtle way of keeping your heart attached to him. On the positive side: get rid of such reminders as letters, the lock of hair, the pictures, other souvenirs; think of other interesting and engrossing things and people.

RULE III: Keep a Balanced Mental Attitude:

You will be inclined to become moody, and this must be counteracted by good sense. It is important to he convinced, quietly but firmly, that you are giving this person up completely. Hence, no compromising by seeking various foolish outlets: for example, seeking solace in sin, or drink, or in marrying someone else just for spite, and so forth. Keep a sense of humor, and do not take thoughts of the priesthood or the religious life too seriously. Things like this are sometimes the occasions of special vocations; but that is not extremely likely, so one should not get sentimental over the thought of hiding in a convent or laboring in some mission field till sheer fatigue brings desolate death. If one is eligible for marriage and not adverse to it, he (or she) ought to he convinced that there are in this world many acceptable marriage companions. It is not such a silly idea to pray for the right person.

Chapter VII

THE DIVINE PLAN OF REPRODUCTION

The ultimate meaning of sex is reproduction. Only when we see the full meaning of human parenthood do we realize why God created us man and woman, fashioned our bodies so differently, endowed each in a peculiar way with the psychic characteristics necessary for fatherhood or motherhood respectively, and gave that strong mutual attraction that was the subject of the first part of this book. God might have established a world in which He would create each human being entirely, body and soul. In that case there would be no reason for sex and its accompanying characteristics. We could all have the same kind of bodies, and the height of our companionship would be the simple friendship.

God established the present order of things. He established a system of reproduction that requires the cooperation of human parents; He has the child come into the world weak and helpless and needing the care of the parents for his continued existence; He has the child mature slowly, with a distinct need for the care of his parents for his mental and moral training. All this is God's plan for human reproduction and for the human development of the child. Sex was created as a means of accomplishing these ends. We have already seen, particularly in the study of personal sex attraction, how the two parents are united together in a lasting love-bond that provides for the education of the child. Now it will be well to consider more closely the factors involved in bringing the child into the world.

A newly-born baby is the product of the cooperation of three causes: God, nature, and the human parents, God creates the soul; the body is fashioned through the operation of certain very intricate and wonderful biological laws; and the parents place the one condition necessary in order that God and nature may accomplish their work. No code of sexual morality can be complete or reasonable which neglects any one of these causes; go as an essential part of the background required for the moral principles of chastity, we are including in this section of the book the fundamental ideas pertaining to each of these three factors of human reproduction.

God's Part

God's special part in the making of a human being is, obviously, the creation of the soul. This is not the place for a treatise on creation or on the soul, but it is the place to recall that this one divine operation makes human procreation totally different from the reproduction of brute animals. At the moment of conception the living thing in the body of the human mother, formed by the union of two almost infinitesimal germ cells, is a real human being with the rights of a human being and the dignity Of a human being, with an immortal soul, formed to the likeness Of God, destined to receive the supernatural life of Christ and to live eternally in union with the Blessed Trinity.

These are not mere glowing words; they express a sublime fact. It is absurd to speak of the science of human reproduction and to ignore the soul completely. One of the glaring faults of many modern booklets intended as sex instruction for the young is precisely is this: they treat the birth of a child like the birth of a kitten, and say absolutely nothing about the soul or its Creator. Such instruction is not Christian; in fact, it is not even human and it lays no foundation for true morality. To leave out the soul is to leave no place for chastity. Only when we consider the dignity of the child do we see the need and meaning of a moral code that provides for the proper use of the function by which that child is brought into the world. With the dignity of the soul in mind, we can see that chastity is not the mere suppression of a natural urge, but the guardian of a sacred power.

The creation of the soul is the work of God, and of God alone. He uses no created instrument, neither man nor angel. It is entirely His product. But in His infinite wisdom He has decreed that He will create the soul only when certain other conditions are fulfilled. These conditions must be fulfilled by nature and the human parents.

Nature's Part

The part played by nature and the human parents includes these three functions:

(i) The production of the father- and mother-cells. The mother-cell is scientifically termed the ovum, plural ova. The father-cell is termed spermatozoon, plural spermatozoa. More briefly, the father-cells are simply called the sperm.

(ii) The transference of the father-cells to the body of the mother in such a way that they can migrate in search of an ovum.

(iii) The union of the father- and mother-cells, and the subsequent development of the embryo and birth of the child.

Of these three functions, the second is the voluntary work of the parents, the first and third are involuntary processes of nature. These involuntary processes are described with technical accuracy in any good physiology book. There is no need of our recounting them here with the complete detail of the physiologist, but we do wish to sketch their essential features with this purpose in view: These functions, too, though not the exclusive work of God, as is the creation of the soul, are dependent on God, and do form a part of the divine scheme for human reproduction. In an ordinary physiological treatise this idea is not emphasized; in a moral treatise it is of supreme importance.

Cell-Production

When a baby girl is born, she already possesses two tiny glands called ovaries. These are the principal glands distinctive of her sex. They are situated, one on each side, in the upper part of the pelvic cavity, which is located in the lower part of the abdomen. Even at birth they contain within themselves the beginnings of thousands of ova. As the child grows and matures, so do the ovaries grow and mature until at last they are about the size and shape of a large almond. With the age of puberty, the ova also begin to mature. But they reach their maturity slowly, only one at a time (except in rare cases), and at widely spaced intervals. When an ovum matures, the sac which contains it bursts, and it is discharged from the ovary. This phenomenon is called ovulation, the production of the mother-cell needed for procreation.

Puberty for girls in our country is usually between the ages of 12 and 14. Ovulation continues from this time until the change of life (the menopause), which usually occurs during the middle or late forties. During this entire time ovulation takes place with a certain rhythmic regularity. A rather ordinary period is one lunar month, 28 days, but this has many variations, both in length and regularity.

The principal glands distinctive of the sex of the boy are the testicles. These two glands are suspended between the thighs in a protective membranous pouch called the scrotum. In infancy they are quite small; when mature, they are somewhat larger than the ovaries, and oval-shaped. Each consists of a closely-compacted mass of tiny tubules in which the father-cells, are produced.

The production of the father-cells by the testicles is called spermatogenesis. This process, like ovulation, begins at puberty, which for boys in our country is usually between the ages of 13 and 16. A sperm is invisible to the naked eye; under the microscope it is seen to be shaped like a tadpole, with a head and a tail. Once the process of spermatogenesis begins, the spermatozoa are produced in great abundance and are stored in the testicles and also, according to some medical authorities, in the seminal vesicles, two glands within the abdominal cavity that are connected with the testicles by means of tubes called the seminal ducts.

There is no regular period for the discharge of the sperm cells as there is for the ova. The sperm cells can be kept for long periods of time, and they can be reabsorbed by the system. They do not have to be discharged, but it is a rather ordinary phenomenon that at varying periods the over-supply -will be discharged during sleep. In fact, this occurrence of seminal discharges during sleep is one of the usual signs of puberty in the boy. So long as it takes place during sleep, it should not be a source of worry, from either the physiological or moral point of view.

In the actual discharge of the sperm cells, many glands besides the testicles must cooperate. The tiny cells have a power of motion, but once they leave the testicles they must have some fluid in which to move. To aid their motion, nature supplies many other glandular secretions. A glance at the path taken by the sperm cells after they leave the testicles. will indicate the position of these subordinate glands. One seminal duct leads from each testicle through the lower part of the abdominal cavity, crosses down behind the bladder, connects with a seminal vesicle (which we have already mentioned), and runs through a large chestnut-shaped gland called the prostate gland. Here the two ducts converge into one and enter the urethra, a canal which emerges from the abdominal wall through the penis, the male organ of copulation. Glandular secretions are added to the spermatic fluid by the seminal vesicles, the prostate gland, and several smaller glands adjacent to or within the urethra. These added secretions, besides giving the sperm cells a medium in which they can move freely, also serve to nourish them and to protect them by purifying the canal through which they pass.

Internal Secretions

Besides the production of the germ cells, the ovaries and testicles have another very important function. They belong to the series of glands known as the endocrine glands (internal secretion glands), called such because they pour their secretions directly into the blood stream and not into some duct which takes them outside the body. The secretions of the endocrine glands are chemical substances called hormones, which have a great deal to do with general physical wellbeing, with the growth and development of the body, and with emotional life. The ovaries and testicles secrete the sex hormones into the blood stream. These hormones are instrumental in the development of the physical changes characteristic of puberty, and their presence in the system also has considerable influence on the sexual appetite. For instance, an over-supply of sex hormones is frequently the basis for excessive sensitivity in regard to purity and also for prolonged and disturbing temptations.

Other Natural Processes

The production of the germ cells is the first of the involuntary natural processes pertaining to reproduction and goes on without any dependence on union of the sexes. The other natural processes can go on only after the father-cells have been transferred to the mother's body; hence sexual intercourse is their normal prerequisite. Granted that this parental work is performed, then nature can carry on the following functions:

Fertilization: When the matured ovum is discharged from the ovary, it usually enters an oviduct (Fallopian tube). There are two oviducts, each lying very close to an ovary in the pelvic cavity. In shape, the oviduct is like a tiny trumpet. Its outer and wider end drops down below the ovary, and it is made up of -any little fringes, the better to catch and hold the ovum. The smaller end of each oviduct leads into the womb (uterus). In shape and position, the womb resembles an inverted pear, the wider part on top and leaning forward in the pelvic cavity, the smaller part (the neck, or cervix) fitting snugly into the vagina, a canal which leads to the external organs of the female reproductive system. Ordinarily the womb measures about three inches from top to bottom and about three inches in diameter at its widest part. The vagina is usually about four inches in length.

When the ovum enters the oviduct, it begins immediately to travel toward the womb. It can live only a short time if it is not fertilized, so we may say truly that it is traveling in search of a sperm cell. The sperm is deposited within the vagina. From there it passes upward through the womb and enters the oviducts. In any single seminal discharge, there are millions of sperm cells, and each one is hunting for an ovum. But the first one to reach the ovum claims it as its prize. The head of the sperm enters the ovum, and the ovum then spontaneously closes against all other sperm cells. The only probability of a multiple entry occurs if two or more father-cells reach the ovum at exactly the same instant. The fusion of the nuclei of sperm and ovum is known an fertilization, or fecundation. This is the beginning of a new human life, and in all probability it is at this moment that God creates the soul. At least for all practical purposes we must regard the fertilized ovum, no matter how young and small, as the possessor of human life.

Implantation: Every time ovulation occurs, a new endocrine gland called the corpus luteum is formed on the ovary. The corpus luteum is only a temporary gland; it does its work, then disappears. But it performs a very important work. By means of its secretions it "superintends" all the elaborate preparations made for the reception of the fertilized ovum. These preparations mainly affect the womb. The womb is naturally an extraordinarily strong and muscular organ, capable of great expansion, and endowed With the richest of membranes. When the corpus luteum sends the message that the ovum is coming, the inner membranes of the womb are prepared in a special way to be a fit nesting place for the human embryo.

After the ovum is fertilized, it travels slowly through the oviduct, and after a journey of several days it enters the womb. It bores into the inner wall of the womb, generally in the upper part, and membranes begin to form about it. This process is known as Implantation.

(If it should happen that the ovum was not fertilized, then it can claim no nest in the womb. In fact, it is very likely dead long before it reaches the womb; hence all these preparations are useless, and the womb begins to contract and to expel the blood and glandular secretions that have gathered in the inner membranes. The expulsion of these materials is known as menstruation. Menstruation, like ovulation, begins with puberty--in fact, it is one of the perceptible signs of the advent of puberty in a girl. At first the menstrual periods are likely to occur rather irregularly, but after a time they usually attain a certain rhythmic frequency, as we mentioned in regard to ovulation. Menstruation lasts from two to five or six days. It is sometimes accompanied by a slight sickness, but not ordinarily by anything serious. Adolescent girls should be instructed by their mothers or by doctors as to the best way of caring for cleanliness and health during this time. It is a rather remarkable thing that some mothers say little or nothing to their daughters about menstruation and as a result some girls are thoroughly frightened by what should be taken as a perfectly natural physiological experience.)

Childbirth: Once the fertilized ovum has nested within the womb, it begins gradually to develop from its tiny embryonic state to that of a perfectly formed human child. This development usually takes about nine months. When the child in the womb has sufficiently developed, the membranes in which it is contained break away from the side of the womb and the child begins to descend. The small neck of the womb widens to almost unbelievable proportions, and the child passes through it into the vagina, thence through the outer maternal organs. All these processes imply great expansion of the organs, especially of the neck of the womb and of the vagina. This expansion is brought about by a series of powerful muscular contractions and generally to the accompaniment of great pain to the mother. But it is a temporary pain which is more than compensated for by the joy of motherhood.

The only part that the external female organs play in childbirth is to allow the passage of the child to the outside world. These organs (scientifically called the vulva) consist largely of spongy, muscular folds of tissue. Their main functions are to protect the precious inner organism by forming a sort of ante-chamber to the vagina and to aid in the accomplishment of the parental union required for fertilization.

The Finger of God

As we said at the beginning of this section on nature's part in procreation, we had no intention of giving a mere series of physiological facts. Our purpose is rather to call attention to the tremendous meaning underlying these facts. That meaning can be aptly expressed in one brief sentence: The finger of God is here. Note how the production of germ cells is delayed until the body begins to reach physical maturity and how the process of ovulation ceases at just the period in life when a woman would find the burden of future parenthood too great; note the remarkable growth of the tiny embryo from two cells, one of which is infinitesimal, the other just barely visible to the naked eye, to a fully formed baby; note the adaptability of the maternal organism as the embryo matures and the child is born. Add to these facts, the pathological endowments of the father and mother respectively, and no reasonable person can avoid the conclusion that this is a divine plan, that joking about it is tawdry and that interference with it is criminal.

The Parental Part

The hand of God is no less evident in the part that the human parents are destined to play in procreation. This consists in the voluntary act of sexual union, by which the father-cells are transmitted to the body of the mother in such a way that they can travel in search of an ovum. We have already considered the psychological background and significance of this act, also its spiritual and supernatural symbolism. These things are evidently designed by the Creator, and this same design is manifest in the purely physical aspect of parental intercourse. For it is God Who gives to each of us as potential parents, a generative faculty, God Who attaches to the use of that faculty a special physical pleasure, God Who has given a strong appetite for the enjoyment of that pleasure. A word about each of these three elements will not only indicate how they fit into the divine scheme, but will also serve as necessary background for the subsequent chapters of this book.

Generative Faculty

A faculty is a power of doing something; thus we speak of the faculty of speech, of hearing, of thought, and so forth. A faculty exercised through the body must have an organism apt for that purpose. Hence, the generative faculty consists, in the physical organism necessary and apt for carrying on the part in sexual union proper to one's particular sex. In both sexes this generative power resides largely in the external organs of reproduction. The womb and ovaries, for instance, are not needed for the parental act; their function belongs to the natural processes previously described.

Normally, the generative organs are in a relaxed condition and quite unfit for union. But God has so fashioned them that the necessary condition is easily induced. They consist of a highly sensitive nervous system, of blood vessels of a peculiar formation, of strongly contracting muscles, and of glands that secrete freely. When the nervous system is stimulated, blood flows freely into the organism and, because of the peculiar formation of the blood vessels, it cannot leave so long as the nerve stimulation is prolonged. Thus the organism distends and becomes firm and even more highly sensitive; the muscle begin to contract, and the glands to secrete. All of these processes, even the initial stimulations, form a part of the operation of the generative faculty, and are frequently styled the generative function. Evidently, the voluntary stimulation or promotion of any of them must be regulated according to God's law for the use of the generative faculty.

Pleasure

To the harmonious functioning of each of our natural faculties God has attached a definite pleasure. So, the processes of the generative function, once set in motion, are productive of extremely agreeable sensations. These sensations are particularly localized in the generative system, but as they, increase in vehemence they become a blinding passion influencing the entire personality. This pleasure is sometimes referred to as sensual, a misleading term, because it is often applied to sense pleasures which have nothing to do with sex. The most common theological name for this specific pleasure is venereal. This word has come to have an odious connotation because it is so often used in connection with disgusting diseases; yet for technical accuracy it is really the best of all terms. It is derived from an old Latin word meaning "pertaining to generation" (after Venus, goddess of generation), and for centuries it has been used by Catholic moral experts as the most unmistakable manner of classifying the pleasure attached to the generative function.

Still another term used to designate the pleasure attached to the use of the generative faculty is carnal--a word which indicates that this specific pleasure is experienced in a peculiar manner "in the flesh." Finally, an expression rather commonly used today as synonymous with venereal pleasure is sexual pleasure. This last is not in itself a most apt expression, as it could refer also to the joys of general and personal sex attraction, and these are not necessarily venereal. In the following pages, when we speak of sexual pleasure, sexual desire, or the sexual appetite, we are using the word in the physical sense (therefore as synonymous with venereal) unless a wider meaning is clearly indicated.

Appetite

An appetite is simply a power for desiring or enjoying something. Almighty God has given all men some power of enjoying the use of their natural faculties, otherwise there would be grave danger that the purpose of these faculties would not be achieved. It is very difficult to eat, for instance, when sickness has blunted or taken away one's appetite. So in the sexual sphere, unless men were endowed with a. sexual appetite, there would be grave danger that the propagation of the race would suffer.

When the sexual appetite is stimulated, it immediately contacts or, we might say, expresses itself through the nerves of the generative system and sets in motion the series of processes that we described as constituting the generative function. The principal stimulants to this appetite are kisses and embraces of an intimate or prolonged nature. Thinking on sexual matters also has the same effect, as also have many other things which influence the imagination, such as suggestive scenes in books, magazines, or motion pictures, the sight of a person who is physically attractive, dancing, and so forth. The fact that so many thing-, in life can and do influence the sexual appetite makes a clear knowledge of the meaning and obligations of chastity very important.

Chapter VIII

THE MEANING OF CHASTITY

Chastity may be defined as: The habit of regulating the use of the generative faculty according to the principles of reason and of Faith. It might also be defined as the habit-of regulating the pursuit of venereal pleasure according to the principles of reason and of Faith. And still another definition might be the habit of controlling the sexual appetite, or sexual desire, according to those principles. Fundamentally, the meaning of all definitions is the same. Authors often frame the definition in terms of pleasure or appetite because it is the pleasurableness of the generative function which generally inclines people to sin against purity.

Explanation

We call chastity a habit, because we are speaking of the virtue of chastity, and a virtue is an enduring disposition of soul to do a certain kind of good. One is not said to be virtuous merely because he does an occasional good deed; even an inveterate liar might occasionally tell the truth. For the constant keeping of the various commandments one needs the virtues corresponding to them.

Chastity is defined as a regulating virtue. Note, therefore, that it does not necessarily consist in abstinence from sexual activity. Married people practice conjugal chastity by confining their use of the generative faculty to the limits God has established for the married state. But for the unmarried, regulation means total abstinence because, as we shall see, God has reserved the use of the faculty to marriage.

When we speak of the principles of reason we refer to the natural law, that is, to God's will as manifested in the very nature of the thing He creates. When we speak of the principles of Faith, we are referring to God's will as manifested through revelation. Insofar as mere obligation is concerned, divine revelation has added nothing to the natural law. Thus the Sixth and Ninth Commandments of the Decalogue, as God revealed them to Moses, imposed no new obligation on the human race. They simply put into words the law that already existed in the human heart and that bound and binds all men. But Faith does tell us much about the perfection of chastity. To keep the Commandments is a good and perfect thing; but to follow Christ, and to strive to imitate Him as much as our natural gifts and the grace of God will permit is higher perfection.

In the Introduction, we specified that we are limiting our consideration of chastity to extra-marital chastity: that is, to the obligations and ideals of the unmarried. To sum up this brief explanation, we can now say that, from the point of view of obligation, extra-marital chastity consists in abstinence from all wilful use of the generative faculty. This is, of course, putting the matter negatively; yet everyone knows that the observance of this norm is not something merely negative, but requires the practice of a great deal of positive virtue, and at times even heroism. Beyond the realm of obligation, the Christian ideal of chastity consists in following Christ even to the perpetual renunciation of the privileges that might be acquired by marriage.

Chastity and Sex Attraction

From what we have said, it should be evident that chastity is directly concerned with the control of the impulses characteristic of physical sex attraction. These impulses are immediately concerned with the use of the generative faculty; hence the voluntary indulgence in them is a violation of chastity for the unmarried. Normally, these impulses are directed to sexual union and to the intimate acts that form the natural preliminary to such union. Sometimes the impulses are directed rather to oneself, that is, to the solitary enjoyment of venereal pleasure; and sometimes they are directed to a person of one's own sex. Whatever he their object, whether oneself or others, such impulses must be controlled by chastity.

On the other hand, the impulses distinctive of general or personal sex attraction have no direct bearing on chastity. The joy that one takes in the companionship of the other sex, the thrills of personal love and of becoming manifestations of such love have no necessary connection with the stimulation of the generative faculty; hence they have no immediate bearing on the preservation and practice of chastity. But it ,would be quite untrue to say that they have no connection at all with chastity. It is a fact of daily experience that these various things do frequently act as stimulants to the sexual appetite, even though unintentional. Because they are likely to have this stimulating effect., they do pertain indirectly to chastity, that is, they present a danger to chastity that must not be courted rashly.

Other Stimulants

As we have said before, there are many other things which, though they may be perfectly innocent in themselves, do endanger chastity precisely because of the fact that they have more or less power of stimulating the sexual appetite. Books, motion pictures, magazines, decent dancing, conversation about certain topics or with certain people, the study, of anatomy or physiology or various special branches of medicine-many such things can affect the generative nervous system, induce venereal pleasure, and thus incline the will to indulge in them precisely for that pleasure. In this sense, they too are dangers to one's chastity. And we might add to them, dangers that sometimes come from purely physiological and involuntary sources. For example, the condition of the nervous system, the activity of various endocrine glands, congestion of the organs adjacent to the reproductive organs, excessive fatigue, can also affect the generative system and thus be the source of disturbing temptations.

Various Dispositions

In the matter of sexual stimulation we should never forget that individuals differ greatly one from another. Some are much more affected by certain kinds of stimuli than an others; just an some have a much stronger appetite for food than others. Boys, for instance, are usually much more strongly affected physically than are girls; and a girl has to take account of this in dealing with it boy. Some people are definitely hypersensitive: that is, it is quite ordinary for them to be strongly excited by things that scarcely bother most other people. And any one individual might truly say that his own reactions to stimuli differ at different times. It may be that for a week or two or longer nothing seems to affect him; then for a brief period everything seems a source of disturbance.

All these things: different dispositions, varying strength of stimuli, and so on, clearly make it necessary for us to have a set of practical principles that tell us what we must avoid, what we must or may do, and what it is better for us to do. The peaceful practice of chastity is greatly aided by such knowledge. Before giving the principles, however, it will be well to spend a little more time in considering how the sexual appetite works and how it can be controlled.

How the Appetite Works

In general, we may say that the sexual appetite works along the same pattern as other emotions and passions. Take the emotion of anger. What happens when we become angry? A man strikes you; you feel that boiling state within you known as anger; you feel a tendency to do something about it, for example, to strike back. Before the man struck you, you were not angry; the fact that he struck you acted as a stimulus to your emotion. The emotion itself was the response to that stimulus. It is, in a certain sense, a very simple yet a very complicated emotion. It brings profound changes in your body and in your mental outlook. It is a state of unpleasantness and irritation, and you have a natural impulse to do something which will relieve that state. Thus we see that anger follows this simple basic pattern: a) stimulus; b) emotional response; c) impulse to do something about it. That a-b-c pattern works as a unit; it is, of itself, entirely involuntary and follows an elementary psychological law.

Again, consider the emotion of fear. In these days, when the air is filled with talk of war, it is natural enough to apply this example to a young soldier on sentry duty. He hears the signal announcing an air raid; he feels afraid; he has an inclination to run down into a shelter. The signal is the stimulus; the fear is the emotional response; and since this emotion also contains an element of tension and irritation, there is a natural impulse to do something which will bring a feeling of relief. Again, consider the fear of lightning. There is the flash of lightning acting as the stimulus; the dreadful feeling of fear that follows upon it; and the impulse to hide in the clothes closet. In both examples of fear, we see the a-b-c pattern of stimulus, emotional response, and impulse to do something about it.

Sex is no exception to this general pattern. A man, for instance, may be thoroughly unconscious of any sexual excitement. Then he sees an obscene picture; he becomes sexually aroused, that is, he feels a general emotional disturbance plus the beginning of the localized phenomena that we described in the last chapter when speaking of the generative processes; and he experiences an impulse to keep looking or to perform some immodest action that will heighten his emotional condition. His condition of excitement is basically one of pleasure, and we all have a natural inclination to continue pleasurable activity. The pattern is the same: stimulus; response; impulse.

Need of Some Control

All decent people will readily admit that our emotions and passions need some kind of control for the good of our individual personalities and for the preservation of peaceful social life. Suppose, for instance, a man is running to catch a street car and a stick is suddenly thrust between his legs and he trips and falls violently. The ear goes away, his suit is torn, he gets up in a rage and turns furiously on the person who tripped him. It is a blind man, feeling his way with a cane. Our angry friend seizes the cane and beats the blind man over the head with it.

The example is a rather evident one. We do not consider it reprehensible that the man was angered. In this case everything happened suddenly, and the a-b-c process was thoroughly involuntary. But carrying out the impulse of striking the blind man is going entirely too far. We consider that a reprehensible lack of self-control. In other words, the man should have disciplined his anger; and, if he in one who generally acts before thinking when he is angry, then he should cultivate the habit of thinking before he acts.

In the case of the young soldier, we do not (or should not) blame him for feeling afraid and for wanting to run. But if he actually runs and deserts his post, people generally look upon him with contempt. So, too, in the case of sexual excitement. The passion itself, following upon an unexpected stimulus, is involuntary; but the man would show a lack of needed self-control were he to give way to his impulse and seek further stimulation.

Thus, all decent people recognize that man is not supposed to be a creature of blind impulse. They recognize a need of control of our passions and emotions. They recognize that at times these things incline us to do things that we are not supposed to do and that the following out of such impulses is unreasonable and wrong.

Concupiscence

The nature of our emotions and passions and their connection with good and evil should be perfectly clear to us. Certainly, they are natural tendencies that God gave us for a good purpose. Anger is a subjective state that enables one to preserve his life when unjustly attacked and to exercise a justifiable protection over others; fear also helps to preserve the life by warning against danger; the sexual appetite helps to preserve the race. But though these things have a good purpose, they do not always incline to what is morally good. To put it plainly, they tend to go their own way and ignore the higher good. Your temper does not ask you, "Am I justified in striking this man?" Your fear will not ask, "Is it right for me to run away?" Your sexual passion will not ask, "Would God be pleased with this action?" In other words, these and the other emotions are merely blind tendencies; they are natural insofar as they express one side of our nature; but to keep them from making sheer animals out of us, there is need of something to guide them in accordance with the dignity of a human being. They must be kept within the limits marked out by God, and these limits are made known through our reason and Faith. Hence the norm for all the emotions is that they must be controlled according to reason and Faith.

That there should be some conflict between our emotions and our reason is a perfectly natural state for a human being, since we are the only creatures in the world that unite such tremendous extremes as the spiritual and the material. It is only natural that the lower appetites, which tend to act blindly, should want things that conflict with higher duties. The understanding of this natural phenomenon helps us to see the real wonder of the gift of integrity, which God gave to Adam, which he possessed before the Fall and which all of us would possess if there had been no original sin. By that gift Adam had such perfect control over all these appetites that 'his reason was always the absolute master. There was perfect harmony, no struggle, no conflict.

The loss of the gift of integrity was one of the punishments for original sin. We now experience that natural conflict which God would have spared us. Our appetites are inclined to work independently of reason and even to want what is contrary to reason. This inclination of the appetites to work independently of reason is what is known as concupiscence. Concupiscence is not in itself a moral wrong, but it is an evil for us because it is the result of sin and because frequently it acts as a powerful incentive to sin. It is a force inclining us towards what reason tells us is forbidden, and it is simply a historical fact that no other appetite has been so successful overthrowing reason as has the sexual appetite.

Without the gift of integrity we have to struggle to control our impulses. But we are well equipped for the struggle. First of all we have the promise of abundant help from God. And with that we have our free will, which by the practice of various virtues, is able to act in such a way that appetites are kept within the bounds of reason. For instance, anger is kept within reasonable bounds by the practice of meekness; the impulses of fear are controlled by the virtue of fortitude; and the sexual appetite is kept within the bounds marked out by God by the practice of chastity. By these diverse ways of exercising self-control we fulfill that need which decent people commonly recognize in regard to the emotions-namely, they do not destroy our human dignity.

Means of Control

There are many ways by which self-control in sexual matters can be exercised. Without indulging in too many technicalities, we want to indicate here a few of the more obvious and practical points to be kept in mind in this matter.

In the first place, it is well to remember that the will is not a dictator in regard to the emotions. It has no absolute power. If a man kicks you in the shins, you feel it, and no act of the will can prevent. you from feeling it. And because you feel the kick, you feel irritated about it, and thus your adrenal glands are activated, your imagination is disturbed, and you feel like doing many dire things to that man. The will cannot prevent these feelings and dire thoughts from arising, and sometimes it cannot get rid of them for quite a while. Also, in the sphere of sex, if something attracts the sexual appetite, pleasurable sensations and disturbing imaginations are aroused, and the will cannot prevent one's feeling these things, and sometimes it cannot get rid of them.

But the will can generally refrain from any external action that these things may urge one to do. It is only in the rarest possible case that these external actions get entirely beyond the control of the will. It can ordinarily stand pat and refuse to do anything immodest. Sometimes, by seeking a distraction, it can get rid of the thoughts and feelings. Always, even in extreme cases, when thoughts and pleasant feelings cannot be banished, the will can refuse to approve of them.

Again, the will can very often avoid even the sources of stimulation, so that the sexual passion is not even aroused. We say "very often," because it is evident that, in the world in which we live, such things cannot be avoided entirely. Nevertheless, there still remain some untainted books and plays and other forms of entertainment, and by choosing these things rather than the "spotted" kind, a person can avoid a great deal of sexual stimulation. We do not say that this is always obligatory (that subject will be treated later); we simply give this as one way of exercising self-control.

Again, surely we all recognize this fact: There are some people who are always hunting for trouble. Not that they do it deliberately; but they do seem to cultivate an attitude of mind that seeks to be insulted, or angered, or abused, and so forth. And the same thing can happen in the sexual sphere. People can be involuntarily looking for trouble here, too, and thus they are all set to react to any stimulus they encounter. This disposition can be counteracted by the cultivation of a sincere, wholesome attitude that sees other things in life besides sex and thus does not react readily to sexual suggestion. This does not mean the brazen disposition of one who will walk into any sexual danger with the excuse that we ought to take those things "as a matter of fact"--such an attitude is sheer folly; but it does mean a quiet attitude towards the ordinary things of life and a refusal to be always on the lookout for sex.

Finally, we have to realize that we were created with a dependence on God, a dependence that is had in all our actions - To control our emotions, to will the good, and especially to counteract the inordinate pull of concupiscence, we have an absolute need of prayer. The Church is positively rich in the means that she offers both to inspire and to strengthen the will. We have but to use them and cooperate with them.

Chapter IX

GOD'S LAW OF CHASTITY

The practice of chastity is obligatory for all people, married and unmarried, but evidently the norms must be different for the two states. Married people are within the sacred limits of God's law and therefore practice the virtue of chastity according to their state of life when they confine their use of the generative faculty to the rights conferred upon them in the marriage contract. The present book is written for the unmarried; therefore we shall say no more about the practice of conjugal chastity but shall confine ourselves to a discussion of the Law of God as it concerns the unmarried.

There are many ways of discovering the law of God. The pagan has his reason to guide him; the Jew has his reason and the Old Testament; the non-Catholic Christian has his reason and his Bible; and the Catholic has not only his reason and the various sources of Divine Revelation, but also the teaching authority of the Church. Of these various ways, the easiest and at the same time the safest method -of learning God's will is to consult the teaching of the Church. It is easiest because there is no difficulty in finding it, and it is stated very clearly in terms that do not require a highly schooled mind to understand it; it is the safest because it is purified of the obscurity that is likely to hamper the mind of the individual who seeks after truth unaided.

It is the most logical thing in the world for one who professes faith in the Catholic Church as God's official interpreter in regard to Faith and Morals to consult the teaching of the Church before he launches off into any investigation of his own. Approaching the matter first from this Catholic point of view, we are beginning this chapter by stating the official teaching of the Catholic Church in regard to extramarital chastity.

Teaching of the Church

We know of no ecclesiastical document which more clearly or beautifully states the Church's teaching than the Encyclical on Christian Marriage by the late Pius XI. Here are the Pope's words on our present subject:

"Nor must we omit to remark that., since the duty entrusted to parents for the good of their children is of such high dignity and of such great importance, every use of the faculty given by God for the procreation of new life is the right and the privilege of the married state alone, by the law of God and of nature [italics ours], and must be confined absolutely within the sacred limits of that state."

In those words, the Holy Father simply stated what has been the teaching of the Church from the very beginning. The expression, "the law of God," refers to the will of God as expressly manifested in divine. revelation; the expression, "the law of nature," refers to the so-called natural law, that is, to the will of God as written in human nature itself and binding all people of all times. Chastity, therefore, is not a precept that is distinctively Catholic or distinctively Christian or Jewish, but it is distinctively human. According to Catholic teaching, it binds every human being, regardless of race or creed.

Sacred Scripture

For all Christians, even those who do not believe in the infallible teaching authority of the Catholic Church, the Sacred Scriptures contain strong arguments for chastity. Many texts of Scripture can be cited in this matter; we ore limiting ourselves here to the First Epistle to the Corinthians, Chapter VI. This chapter is a particularly apt one for our purpose because it is substantially the same in all versions, Catholic and Protestant alike, and is frequently referred to in Protestant sources as a clinching argument for purity. Moreover, in this one chapter is contained an almost complete statement of the Christian doctrine on chastity, from both the negative and the positive points of view.

We say "almost complete," because nothing is said directly about impure thoughts and desires. However, these are clearly condemned by the Commandment, "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife," and by the words of our Lord: "Whosoever shall look upon a woman to lust after her, hath already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:28).

In citing the text from St. Paul's first letter to the Corinthians, we are following the Westminster version. In this translation, the pertinent section of the chapter begins as follows:

"Be not deceived; neither fornicators nor idolaters nor adulterers nor effeminates [i. e. those given to self-abuse] nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor cheats, no drunkards, no railers, no robbers shall inherit the kingdom of God. And such some of you were; but ye have washed yourselves clean, but ye have been hallowed, but ye have been justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God."

The foregoing words are taken from the 9th to the 11th verses. In verse 13, the Apostle continues:

"...But the body is not for impurity but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body; for God through his power hath raised the Lord, and us too shall he raise up. Know ye not that your bodies are members of Christ? Am I then to take the members of Christ and make them members of a harlot I God forbid. Or know ye not that he that cleaveth to a harlot is one body with her? 'The two,' it is said, 'shall become one flesh.' But he that cleaveth to the Lord is one spirit with him. Flee from impurity. Every other sin that a man committeth is a thing outside the body; but the impure sinneth against his own body. Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is within you, whom ye have from God? And ye are not your own, for we have been bought at a price. Glorify God, then, in your body."

Concerning this chapter taken from the writings of St. Paul, we wish to make the following brief observations:

1) This is the word of God. Now and then we find people who do not understand why the writings of St. Paul should have greater weight than those of St. Augustine or St. Thomas Aquinas. It is rather difficult to understand such a mentality. The Letters of St. Paul form one of the principal sources of the Christian Revelation. They are as much the word of God as is the Old Testament or the Gospels. There is no comparison between these writings and those of a private individual, even though said individual be a great saint or doctor of the Church.

2) St. Paul expressly mentions the sins of fornication (sexual relations between unmarried persons), adultery (sexual relations between a married and unmarried person, or between two married persons who are not mutually husband and wife), self-abuse (the solitary use of the generative faculty), and sodomy (impure acts between persons of the same sex); and then he gives a general condemnation of all impurity.

3) He teaches that these things exclude from the Kingdom of Heaven; therefore they are serious sins.

4) He implies that they are sins even for pagans, because the early Christians had to be washed of them in Baptism. In other words, they are against the Natural Law because that is the only law the pagans had.

5) They are sinful because they are violations of one's own body; and in a Christian they have the added disfigurement that comes from making the member of Christ the member of a harlot, from defiling a body destined to rise with Christ in Glory, and from desecrating the living Temple of the Holy Spirit. What nobler concept of the body, and what stronger reprobation of impurity can be imagined!

The Argument From Reason

St. Paul and Pius XI both stated that the use of the sexual faculties outside of marriage is against the law of nature. Now the law of nature is simply the law of right reason, so we can confirm our arguments from the teaching of the Church and from Divine Revelation by looking for a moment at the conclusions which sound reason draws in regard to extra-marital sexual activity.

We know the law of God in regard to created things when we know the purpose that those things were created to serve. In the matter previously treated in this book, we have already seen that the natural purpose of generative activity is threefold: biological, psychological, and social. A word to recall the essential ideas of these three purposes will serve as the basis for the argument from reason.

From a biological point of view, sexual activity is essentially reproductive or generative. This terminology in not coined by the Church; it is found in any scientific textbook. It does not require extremely profound thought to see, for instance, that when a man uses his generative faculty the processes set in motion are those which naturally culminate in the expulsion of the male germ cell. Nor does it require more profound thought to see that the female processes are intended solely as an aid to the reception of the male germ cell and to give it the opportunity of seeking the female germ cell. This is procreative activity; it is the one thing that human parents voluntarily contribute to the production of new life. Sometimes new life results, sometimes it does not; but this depends on other circumstances, not on the act placed by the parents.

We have also seen that from the psychological point of view the use of the generative faculty in a human being is not intended as a merely animal act, but as the culmination and expression of a great love. We saw the build-up of friendship; how, according to the plan of nature, two hearts are blended into one desire for perfect self-consecration to each other, how this consecration is solemnly made in the marriage contract and after that is solemnly sealed by the conjugal relation. When this order is followed, sexual intercourse achieves its true psychological purpose; it is an act of love which is utterly self-giving, not for a day, or an hour, bat for life.

Furthermore, conjugal intercourse serves a great social purpose. Physical union is not only expressive of the mutual love of husband and wife, it is also designed to increase and perpetuate, that love. Thus it serves the very important purpose of providing for the proper rearing of children. Surely it is easy for us to see that children are not like animals. They come into the world weak and unable to care for themselves, and they remain more or less in that condition for a long period of time. Their minds need careful development; their characters need Arm but loving training. They have a natural craving for mother-love and father-love. God fashioned them thus, and He ordained that the mutual and enduring love of the parents should be, not merely for their own happiness and perfection, but also for the sake of their children. Thus we say that the purpose of marriage (and of the marital act) is not only the procreation of children, but also the education (that is, the full, proper, human development) of children. This is the foundation of true family life and, therefore, the foundation of progressive human society. We may call this the social purpose of the generative faculty.

There is scarcely need of dinning further on such evident truths. Nor should there be need of any prolonged exposition of the argument that flows from them, namely: all generative activity exercised outside of marriage defeats one or more of these natural purposes and is therefore morally wrong. Furthermore, since these purposes are of great importance, any act which goes contrary to them is seriously wrong.

Fornication defeats the social purpose of generative activity. The social purpose demands that sexual intercourse be limited to those who are united in the lasting bond of marriage, for only the married can provide for the proper education (as explained above) of the child. Fornication is also contrary to the psychological purpose of generati