Major: Underwater Basket-Kantian Ethics

Hometown: San Francisco, The State that Sucks

Occupation: Office Gopher in the Columbia University Department of Environmental Health and Radiation Safety; Viceroy of Addisonia

Other stuff you do for fun: 5 foot 8, 125 pounds of muscle, bone, and vital tissues; short brown hair, blue-green eyes; Capricorn, year of the rat; boxer-briefs, usually, unless I'm on a date.

Anything else you want to say: High winds, rainfall, and cloud cover often act as precursors to actual cloud-to-ground strikes.

Were you raised by bears?: Why, yes. How did you...Mom?...Is that you?...Why did you leave me in that picnic basket at Jellystone? Jellystone, where the pantsless bears run amok?!

What is your favorite beverage to enjoy on Friday at 12:03PM?: Lemon Jurisdiction

and then the body of your bio: I was born. Then I came here. I enjoy cesium and blueberry scones. Touch me.

Quote: Head to the bank to make a few transactions, bust a Ben frank to get some Andrew Jacksons. Five twenties for a hundred dollar bill; You know the math, let's make a deal. On the one dollar bill, if you look on the front, you'll find the face of George Washington. Make money, baby that's all I do. That's how I know Thomas Jefferson is on the two. Abraham Lincoln got shot and died; Freed the slaves, so they put him on the five. And Hamilton, my old time friend, they put his face on the front of the ten. These are the dead presidents, from the hood and they represent. - Too $hort, "Hella Money in the Ghetto"