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WISDOM AND VEXATION
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Joshua Rosenstein |
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The study of the Bible as part of the Core Curriculum is, for many, the
first glimpse of the basic foundations of Judeo-Christian heritage and
culture. And for many, myself included, studying the Bible has brought
about disturbing, and, at times, painful realizations about the roots of
Jewish belief.
I see nothing wrong with examining the Bible as a "great book," not do I
see any problem with dissecting it and studying the words from a secular
viewpoint. Rather, I think that this approach is useful, much the same
as it is when used in the study of Goethe, Homer, and Locke. However,
many individuals wavering on the edge of belief and non-belief in Jewish
fundamentals must be aware of the consequences that this approach may
yield.
I attended a Conservative day school for eight years. During that time,
I was thoroughly inundated with Torah, taught Jewish history, and
introduced to the Talmud. Nonetheless, I never really practised my
beliefs. Only after visiting the concentration camp sites is Europe a
few years ago did I feel a need to attend synagogue and keep the laws of
kashrut. Even then, I felt my reasons for starting to take on new
observances were more cultural than they were spiritual.
Personally, I don't think I've ever believed that the Torah was written
by God. Divinely inspired, perhaps. At the outset of my Columbia
education, I recognized, the spiritual importance which the Bible held
for my fellow Jews, and couldn't find any logical reason to question them
in their steadfast faith. I still don't. I have never felt the need to
justify my own beliefs, either. That is, until I studied the Hebrew
Bible in Contemporary Civilization.
For the first time, I was forced to try to rationally explain my
beliefs. And that is the most dangerous thing a Jew like me can attempt
to do. Quite frankly, the Bible makes little sense to me when studied in
this manner. It is too full of contradictions.
One of the things I learned from CC is to value my own judgment and
interpretation of subject matter, as long as I can justify my arguments.
From the very first session, my professor encouraged his students to
voice their own opinions and their preconceived notions about the works
we read. The discussions went much further than that, however, and I was
often frustrated when my professor shot down every idea I had.
When we turned to the Hebrew Bible in class, I offered interpretations
of the text, only to have those shot down as well. My professor refused
to acknowledge any Jewish interpretations as completely valid. Rather,
he wanted us to look at the words of the text, the historical context in
which it was written, and its literary techniques, in order to form our
own new interpretations of the Bible. He wanted us to do as Descartes
did-- to doubt all we previously took to be true, and to begin again from
a clean slate to form impressions and ideas.
Is God only good? This was a question discussed at length; our
overwhelming response was "no." After all, how could a good God commit
such sadistic acts as ordering Abraham to sacrifice Isaac? If one equates
goodness with honesty, how could a good God tell Adam and Eve that they
would surely die on the day that they ate from the tree, and then not
kill them?
I am glad that I've taken CC. The course has taught me to question all
my beliefs and to find a basis upon which to rest them; it's taught me
to take no idea at face value, but rather to search for reasoning in
support or denial of any idea. However, I cannot help but feel as though
I've lost something. I still believe in God (a belief which, while it
cannot be proved rationally, can also not be disproved rationally), but I
now put less value on the traditional interpretations. In a context in
which we can succesfully form our own interpretations, I see no reason to
put my blind faith in any ancient Rabbinical view of the text. I don't
see what makes these sages of the past more qualified to determine what
God meant by the text than a contemporary Rabbi, or why their judgments
should be placed on a pedestal.
Furthermore, I can't find the mystique that the Bible once held for me;
perhaps this is the greatest tragedy. The Bible was once for me not only
a marvelous story of our people's history-- it was also a record of the
wondeful things God has done, and will do, for His chosen people. But the
miracles, the strange and wonderful happenings all contradict the
rational world as I know it. The promise that the righteous are saved
and the wicked punished simply doesn't hold in today's world. For me to
believe that Moses parted the sea is as inconceivale as believing that
Jesus walked on water. These things cannot happen. I don't feel that it
is characteristic of God to allow an alteration of nature. I know that
God exists; I know that He is watching, and I believe that one day, the
Messiah will come. But I canot believe that God alters the laws of
nature, that God is omnipotent or omniscient: my personal observation of
the world prevents me from believing this.
In analyzing the Bible in CC, I have begun again my quest for spiritual
enlightenment. My mind is not closed to the traditional Rabbinic
interpretations, just as it is not closed when the Catholic girl in my CC
class proposes that the serpent in Eden is the devil himself. But I don't
know which to value more highly as an intepretation, the traditional yet
remote commentary of the Rabbis, or the comments of a fellow student. I
suppose the final result may be that I value my own interpretation of the
text above that of everyone else. Far be it for me to question anyone's
religious beliefs. I actually envy those people who can say contentedly
that the Bible is God's word-- I know that they know that to be the
truth. But after studying the philosophical texts of the CC syllabus, I
cannot be satisfied with such a belief.
I struggle to determine what the Bible means to me and the role God
plays in my life. Will I be able ever to rationally explain all my
beliefs? Probably not. Will I ever believe in the unique role of the
Bible in my spiritual life? I hope so. And I understand well that "in
much wisdom is much vexation, and those who increase knowledge increase
sorrow" (Ecclesiastes 1:18).