32                                  HOW SHE   LIVKD

Shee had an earnest desire to be like a solitary turtle in
the desert, and soaring above herself with new wings of
contemplation, to make her point in religious solitude. In
which important business the source of all goodness in¬
fused so much temper into my thoughts, as not to precip¬
itate ; but after a serious discussion of her motives, to
take along with me the advice of maturer judgements than
my own, especially Mr. Holtby, who knew her intimately
from her first coming into these parts by a most candid
correspondency she ever held with him: and wee, after
due consultation with God, and dispute among ourselves,
ballancing in cue scale her years and want of health, in
the other, the great good which would be neglected if shee
solely attended to her own soul, resolv'd in our Lord to be
more advantagious for his glory, and her crown, to per¬
severe as shee had begun, not only in the study of her own
perfection, but also in the pursuance and acquisition of
others. I was afraid, being but a stranger, to deliver the
result of our conference, but Mr. Holtby warranted me by
the character he gave of her: which was, that shee ex¬
celled all of his acquaintance (and he was jubilated with
fifty years experience) for carrying the cross of Christ,
and a reverential regard to her ghostly fathers. Arm'd
then with this confidence above my experimental
knowledge att that time of her virtues, I gave obscurely a
hint of our opinion, which, as shee was of a very lively
and spirited apprehension, shee perceived at the first
overture, and embraced, as sent by an angell from the
oracle of truth, saying shee was fully satisfied ; and since
she was not worthy to enjoy the sweetness of JNIary's part,
shee would strive better than heretofore to make it ac¬
ceptable to his divine will by the conjunction of Martha.

I here most cordially wish I had the creditt to borrow
for the surplus of this history, the quill of Cicero, or rather
the witt of Augustin, the eloquence of Chrysologue, and
mouth of Chrysostome. For now I set uppon an account
of her virtues during the time of my apprentiship, which
I so call, because tho' obedience appointed me for seven