The ULTIMATE BATTLE between the EARTH [roar] and the STARS! [geriatric moan]
In the MOST EPIC SMACKDOWN of YOUR PUNY LIFE!
[This is madness!]
[This! Is! PHILO!]
That's right! It's:
The VICAR OF PETER versus the GROWLING MAN-EATER!
The HOLY SEE versus zoological family URSIDAE!
This bear's gonna put the Patriarch of the West.... TO THE TEST!
What are YOU waiting for?
Get your skinny ass down to:
THE J.D. SATOW ROOM (5th floor of Lerner Hall)
AT 8:30 PM,
ON Thursday, April 17th.
Refreshments and Powerthirst to precede the fight!
All members DEMANDED to COME and YELL A WHOLE LOT!
Because it's PHILO! YELLING OUT OF TURN!
IT'S WHAT WE DO REALLY! REALLY! WELL!
And if you don't come see it, WE'LL CLAW YOUR EYES OUT!
Q: ARE WE NOT MEN?! A: [ROAR!] --Your Pumped and Devo-ted Whip