THURSDAY! THURSDAY! THURSDAY!

The ULTIMATE BATTLE between the EARTH [roar] and the STARS! [geriatric moan]

In the MOST EPIC SMACKDOWN of YOUR PUNY LIFE!

More blood than GLADIATOR!

More carnage than CONAN THE BARBARIAN!

This debate will KICK THE SHIT out of THE 300!

[This is madness!]

[This! Is! PHILO!]

[roar]

That's right! It's: The VICAR OF PETER versus the GROWLING MAN-EATER! The HOLY SEE versus zoological family URSIDAE!

It's Resolved: POPE VERSUS BEAR!

This bear's gonna put the Patriarch of the West.... TO THE TEST!

What are YOU waiting for? Get your skinny ass down to: THE J.D. SATOW ROOM (5th floor of Lerner Hall) AT 8:30 PM, ON Thursday, April 17th.

Refreshments and Powerthirst to precede the fight!

All members DEMANDED to COME and YELL A WHOLE LOT!

Because it's PHILO! YELLING OUT OF TURN!

IT'S WHAT WE DO REALLY! REALLY! WELL!

And if you don't come see it, WE'LL CLAW YOUR EYES OUT! [roar]

SURGAM! SURGAM! SURGAM!

Q: ARE WE NOT MEN?! A: [ROAR!] --Your Pumped and Devo-ted Whip