"The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun." -- P. G. Wodehouse

There will be no justice as long as man will stand with a knife or with a gun and destroy those who are weaker than he is." -- Isaac Bashevis Singer

"I don't care if I fall, as long as someone else picks up my gun and keeps on shooting." -- Ernesto 'Che' Guevara

"Wait, what'd he say? Was it 'wear a t-shirt with my face on it?' Yeah, I'm pretty sure he said to wear a t-shirt with his face on it." -- everyone at my high school.

The PHILOLEXIAN SOCIETY cordially invites you to not zero, not one, but TWO Thursday events! See, we'll plan your social life for you.

First, at 8:30PM @ Hamilton Hall: MARTY BECKERMAN, author of DUMBOCRACY: Adventures with the Loony Left, the Rabid Right and Other American Idiots. 8:30PM. Meet early in the lobby of Hamilton Hall as we desperately attempt to find a free room.

"Whether it's banning free speech to protect people's feelings or banning adult entertainment to enforce morality, extremists have no use for our civil liberties. The ends justify the means for each side -- such as brainwashing children and criminalizing dissent -- because culture warriors have no other reason for living than victory. However, Beckerman is unafraid to expose their tactics -- and their never-ending hypocrisies -- with comical, over-the-top glee worthy of South Park or The Daily Show.

No extremist will escape unscathed, but moderate readers of all stripes will relish Beckerman's iconoclasm. In the tradition of P.J. O'Rourke's Parliament of Whores and Michael Moore's Stupid White Men, Beckerman's grand political satire will have readers laughing on the floor and ripping the hair from their scalps. "

This is a sneak peek at his national college tour, so don't miss it!


Then, at 9:30 @ Satow: RESOLVED: Shooting people is bad. 9:30PM, Satow, April 24th, you know the deal.

Refreshments to precede the meeting. Old and new members welcome alike.

Be there or we'll legislate your minority of one out of existence.

Surgam, and...

Q: Are we not men? A: We are Philo! --Your ill but still Devo-ted Whip

The Philolexian Society
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