Kilmer 2010: Winner ("OH Tea Party ME!")

2011-01-03T12:34:00Z

OH Tea Party ME!

by Gerard Leone, Penn '07

(Due to the content of the poem, it has been assumed that the typos are intentional—every last one of them. - Ed.)

Truth, America

TRUTH, America

Where is the TRUTH America?

Where is the Truth Moose America?

Where is the Silly Goose America?

WASHINGTON- The truth moose comes from the country

And dies stabbed by Masonic Pentagrams Inscribed into Capital Map

BY FRENCH PEOPLE

Meanwhile the Silly Goose comes from Harvard

And lays golden eggs that are not golden eggs but chocolate eggs in gold foil

Which is not even American-style chocolate

But Turkish Delight which comes from the Narnia Books

But it’s Turkish so its MUSLIM!

WHY DO YOU LET YOUR GOOSE KILL YOUR MOOSE AMERICA?

Youth, America

YOUTH, America

Where is the Youth in America?

When we were kids there was no health care

SO WHERE IS THE YOUTH, America?

Where are bobby socks and the FONZ and Lawrence Welk and Armless Thaldomide Babies

There was no sickness, even when I was sick there was no sickness, that wasn’t sickness

That was Cancer, but not CANCER—Which is like a gay guy looking at you in the shower

That is cancer, eternal cancer, and how he takes care of his body

CANCER—AWFUL CANCER—the gays in their tight jeans which hug their buttockses

THE FONZ, THE YOUTH, AMERICA?

THE FONZ does not need Healthcare

Who needs healthcare? The Youth in Asia

But the youth in asia is euthanasia

ASIA YOUTH, KILLS AMERICANS

THEY ARE GOING TO KILL AMERICANS

Roof America

The Roof AMERICA

THE ROOF, THE ROOF, America

It’s on FIRE

Because there’s a shooter on the ROOF AMERICA

and he’s taking aim because it hot on a roof that’s on fire

I AM ON FIRE, oo oooh oooh I’m on fire

Hey little girl is your daddy home

Did he go and leave you all alone because he’s fighting the Fire in America?

AMERICA YOU ARE ON FIRE

A fire that burns inside like heart burn

And itches like a hemorrhoid...buttockses that burn in the night

Like ass lanterns in the dark BURN ASS LANTERN

SHOW ME the roof that burns but does not burn

The books that burn but do not burn with GOD

Give me a book depository that will save me

A book depository filled with old copies of

The road to serfdom and vhs cassettes of FREE TO CHOOSE

Rose and Milty Freidman were bald, but she was on FIRE

FIRE FOR AMERICA

Not like Hayek who was an Austrian Aristocrat

We do not need Aristocrats in America

NO QUEENS NO SIRES

NO phds and Esquires

FIRE FIRE FIRE AMERICA- FIRE THE PRESIDENT FIRE AT THE PRESIDENT FIRE THE LIAR PRESIDENT LIAR LIAR MIRE CHOIR ASS LANTERN AMERICA

Couth America,

The COUTH, America

It’s a French word

FRANCE IS NOT AMERICA

AMERICA IS AMERICA

FRANCE IS ONE LETTER AWAY FROM CANCER

FRANCER- no its two additional letters the C and the R AT THE END and subtract the F and the R

so, really it’s minus two plus two it comes out even

FRANCE IS CANCER

Couth? America? You want to be couth? Like the gay guys in France?

With their galois and the jeans so tight

And the gyrating IT'S NOT SAFE AMERICA

They are circling, the French hawk is circling the eagle’s nest America

The gay hawk, they gyrate, in the widening gyre

They can’t hear the hunter’s call NOBODY CAN HEAR YOUR BABY’s call America

Do you know where you baby is America?

They are there on the internet America, going gay

On the chat rooms where America is misspelled Amercia

The Amer CIA, the CIA does not serve the Americans

Amercia it sounds Spanish, Mexicans Illegal

America itself sounds Spanish, it’s Italian

So dark and swarthy but we’re pure

We can never forget their tight jeans, the outline of their erect...

AMERICA

Booth America

BOOTH, America

We can do it America

Booth it America—

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN

Booth it or lose it America

MOVE IT America,

We’re stuck in theatre traffic

To apocalypse of John at Madison Square Garden

And we should have left earlier but we were busy

With our constitution reading group

Because it says right there what the founders wanted

And we do what our daddies want

Which was not to tax my flavored waters

Keep you hands off my body OBAMA

When you got your hands on me in my skin tight Jeans

In my teenage dream of America, stop touching me!

BOOTH IT AMERICA, you know what I mean

We’re here in the balcony watching My American Cousin

SEX SEMPER TYRANNUS

Which means

ALWAYS HAVE SEX WITH TYRANTS AMERICA

but leave them in the morning and erase your number from their phone

I’m Leaving America, you’ll never taste my guilt again America

Unless you BOOTH IT AMERICA

Like I said, vote

Vote in the Booth America

That’s all I meant America

AMERICA america................. AMERICA?

pages tagged ass lantern America

Kilmer 2010: Winner ("OH Tea Party ME!")