Mission Statements
Fed Office Location
What is the Fed?
The Fed is Columbia's alternative newspaper. We print stories that either
profoundly shake our complacent and familiar thought patterns, or else
stories that make us chuckle. It's easier to make us chuckle, admittedly.
But we really hope to be like one of those drugs that does both.
Since when?
The Fed has been working the angles at Columbia University since
1983 or so. It was founded as "the Federalist" by a libertarian, a conservative
and a socialist in order to express classically liberal opinion. In
the late eighties "the Federalist" shifted to a more Conservative voice
because of the editorial board that was in place.
After several years of dormancy, the Fed was resurrected as a sort
of oddball alternative paper, mixing humor and political content. Now
we mostly do humor. Most of the current staff today thinks that politics
is funny too, but not really in a Bill Maher way.
What's your political bent now?
We like to say we don't have one. Certainly we don't have an official
one. Contributors say what they will. We are very de-centralized, and
although this has become more difficult as our fame has increased, and
brought with all the accoutrements of late night cocaine parties with
rock stars and beautiful women, we'd like to remain a paper that is
primarily defined by a diverse group of contributors, and all that junk.
Seriously, we don't care about life, and so we fritter our time away
doing whatever we can to make the pain go away, even for a single moment,
trying to indefinitely skim the peaks of orgasm after orgasm. And then
comes the fall...
What do you want?
We want people to read our stuff. We want to push against the boundaries
of the safe little world we live in and expose people to criticism,
to disagreement, to debate, to jokes about deviant sex practices with
animals.
Don't we all just want to feel like somebody cares?
Yes.
How can I show that I care?
Email us to hear about meetings. Write for us. You don't have to be a rocket scientist or a "good writer".
We have nothing against perverts, freshmen, nerds, Polynesian Islanders, Republicans, women, Deadheads, or the New York Islanders. If you like our paper, we'll assume that you're cool.
We'll probably continue to justify that assumption to ourselves even if you turn out not to be. So no worries.
You must have an agenda?
You suspicious fuck. Go to hell.
Ącan't you tell us more?
Even a newspaper needs its privacy. Direct specific questions to
thefed@columbia.edu
WHERE: that's the 5th floor of Lerner. It's on the Broadway side.
HOW: Take the Broadway side elevator to the 5th floor and walk to the windows that look out over Broadway. On your left is a door which should be open. Just inside the door, on your right, will be the Credit Union (or CUFCU). When the hall opens up, you just be staring at us through the glass doors. Look for sexually explicit artwork and "Re-elect Reagan" banners.
