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Sunday, September 7th at 9 PM
Lerner 5th Floor- Broadway side (near the elevators)
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About Us
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In This Issue
- Students Wrestle for Squid God
- Summer Job Pays to Choke Chickens
- Dolphins: Not Just for Sex Anymore
- Letters to the Feditrix
- The Confessions of a Burgeoning, Fecund Fury
- Suicides Are Fun for Those Who Don't Participate
- Military + Animals = Hours of Deadly Fun
- When Will Columbia Girls Go Not Ugly?
- You Wouldn't Know Hot Ass Even If You Bit Mine
- Necrophilia: Hey, It's Not Like They Mind
- Columbia Hipsters Leave Brooklyn to Strut Stuff
- Want Me!!!!
- I'm Still Drunk After All These Years
- He's Like Larry Flint, but Super Gay
- At Least the Fed Thinks I'm Cool...
- An End to the Planet
- Steve and Cornelius Are Now Chicks, Like to Play with Own Va-Jay-Jays
- Building a Bomb to Put in the Fed's Open Arms
- Oedipus Family Circus
- The Staff of 18.9
- THEY WATCH
The Staff of 18.9
Board of Editors
editor-in-chief
kate sullivan
publisher
ethan heitner
head submissions editors
katie herman &
mike ilardi
Associate Board
carter adams
mahnaz dar
matt holden
sam jenning
matt lippert
bill mclaughlin
erik moser
perrie briskin
mike noble
YSD
Contributors
dina hoffer
ben schwartz
sarah longest
Thanks to
duane reade-brand personal lubricant
rude-boys everywhere
our fearless strippers
the mta
the fed's olde guarde
Goodbye to
publisher emeritus
edward ehrbar
editors emeriti
julia green
matt hoffman
liz gorinsky
amy phillips
lay-about emeritus
ian cofre
Any misspelling, grammatical faux pas, or other ‘mistakes' are intentional: they were left in for effect, and if that's not obvious to you, you're just not getting it. The Fed treats non-responses as affirmatives. We reserve the right to edit submissions for length and clarity. The opinions expressed herein are not neccesarily the views of the Fed. The views of the Fed are as follows:
1. Jack Daniels eats Dixie Cups.
2. Victor von Doom is never defeated, only delayed
3. We lied. Being gay is not so great.
4. Where, oh where, have my pants gone?
5. So long, suckers.
The Fed is a forum; views expressed in individual articles are those of the author and do not necessarily speak for anyone else affiliated with the paper.