The fortnightly newspaper Bahishkrut Bharat had been discontinued earlier. Dr. Ambedkar would remark in private meetings that it was necessary to publish another newspaper so that their movement and activism could impact society. Around this time, the workers of the Samaj Samata Sangh (SSS) were thinking of starting a newspaper to promote the works of the SSS. They repeatedly requested Dr. Ambedkar to accept the editorial position for that newspaper. But Dr. Ambedkar would not agree. He used to answer his colleagues, with a saddened soul, "I have had a bitter experience with one newspaper--do not drag me into this ditch!"….

At last he said to the SSS workers, “After having run Bahishkrut Bharat from 1927 to 1929, I was forced to shut it down. You know the history of all that.... From now on I am going to dive deep into the wild fires of politics. I am going to engulf the Society in it. Our bodies will get roasted to a great degree, I can see that clearly. But after enduring all of that, in the end, when I and the community come out of it, meticulously and rigorously and all toughened up--that is when you will see that our strength has increased in great proportions. As I play with such wildfire, how will I be able to fulfill my editorial duties?...”

IV:23, 26-27

Dr. Ambedkar began his introductory speech after accepting the presidency [of a funeral event organized by the SSS]. He said, “The late Shridharpant and my relationship was more intimate and loving than that between real blood brothers. I felt a special sense of belonging with him, since he become associated with the SSS. I had come to appreciate the value of the urgency and boldness he showed in bringing momentum to the work of social reform at a much deeper level….” Later, in a somewhat clear rejoinder to the many people who were connecting Shridharpant’s suicide with the SSS… Dr. Ambedkar read out the final letter that Shridharpant had sent to him.

Dr. Ambedkar wrote a piece sharing his emotions, in a newspaper called Duniya

Since five thousand people had come to the meeting, the work of the meeting was going on with great enthusiasm. I had just sat down after delivering a forceful speech, hoping to establish that the SSS’s program was more effective than The Hindu Mahasabha’s work. Just then I was handed a telegram. I was a little shocked because the wire came in when there was no reason for it…. I was frightened, bewildered, and confused. Initially, I didn’t think it was true. But since the wire was sent by the SSS’s secretary, it couldn’t have been untrue. In such a situation, having met with a painful situation, I left the gathering immediately for Mumbai….”

The telegram did not mention the cause of death…. I went to my office as soon as the car reached Dadar. Just as I picked up the Times, I saw a letter, handwritten by Shridharpant three hours before his death, lying on the table. I threw down the Times and picked up the letter. As I read it, it became very clear that suicide was indeed the cause of his death.

Then I was completely hardened. I even blamed Shridharpant a little bit. Suicide is a terrible kind of death….”

IV:74-76, 78-79

I [Khairmode] enrolled in the Law College in June 1929. After that when I went to meet Dr. Ambedkar, he furrowed his brows as soon as he saw me. Another way in which he showed disapproval and distaste for someone who was not ready to dance to his tune was by folding the two edges of his mouth and making an enraged face. He used that expression too, in my case. The person whom I considered just one notch below god, whose greatness I always looked up to with respect and unconditionally, and whom I always served honestly and without complaint--the person who told me all the large and small, good and bad events of his life--that I would receive this kind of treatment from him led to an extraordinary storm in my heart.

The main reason why my relationship with Dr. Ambedkar broke down was that I refused to accept the 100 Rupees that he had sent for me via someone else.

[Khairmode and B. L. Jadhav needed to pay rupees 50 each as their exam fees. The exam was to be held in January 1929. In December 1928 itself, they sent an application to Dr. Ambedkar requesting the Bahishkrut Hitakarini Sabha to loan them the amount. At first Dr. Ambedkar said that he would look into it upon returning from Sindh; but upon his return, just one week before the exam, he said that the Sabha did not have any money. Khairmode, out of time and options, then asked Nivrutti Tulshiram Jadhav, an avid critic and someone who did not have good relations with Dr. Ambedkar at the time, for money. Jadhav gave the money. When Dr. Ambedkar found out, he felt as if Khairmode was purposefully slighting him. Dr. Ambedkar's colleagues recommended that he offer Khairmode money from the Mahar Vatan Parishad's savings. When they reached out to Khairmode with money, he declined the offer because his fees were already paid up. This further enraged Dr. Ambedkar and his colleagues.]

But the background for this break of relations was already in place. I was very sick in September 1928, so I could not take my six-monthly exam. Elphinstone College’s principal, H. Hamill, informed Dr. Ambedkar through a letter. That is when Dr. Ambedkar showed me the letter and asked me, “Why did you fall sick?” How could I answer that question?

When I went to take my scholarship money, the head clerk Shri Gadgil told me to get the principal’s permission. I met Hamill Sir. He said, “I wrote to Dr. Ambedkar asking for an explanation [for my not taking the exam], because you live in the boarding-house he runs. Bring an official statement from him, and only then take your scholarship.” I said to him, “Dr. Ambedkar does not run any boarding-house in Mumbai. I do not live in any boarding-house. Six or seven of us students, for the purpose of studying, live in the office of the newspaper Bahishkrut Bharat that Ambedkar runs.” Hamill Sir angrily responded, “You are lying. Dr. Ambedkar had once told me that Khairmode and B. L. Jadhav live in my boarding-house in Mumbai.” I said, “Sir! Then ask B. L. Jadhav what the truth is!” Hamill Sir said, “I'm sorry that I abused you.” Then I received my scholarship amount.

I went to Dr. Ambedkar to narrate this entire episode. I told it to him. He said to me in disgust, “I had given you a prescription [when you were sick] to take Dr. Apte’s medicine. He told me that you never went to see him. Whom did you take medicines from?” I answered, “From Dr. Udgavkar.” Dr. Ambedkar’s face grew even angrier. But he did not say anything….

This brief information will throw truth-light on the readers’ minds…. But after 1923, the image of Dr. Ambedkar that was carved into my soul--I did not let it crack. That divine and magnificent idol still stands unbroken in my soul. When my body is destroyed, only then will that idol be removed from my soul.

IV:86, 91-92, 113-114

Because the journey to London would take fifteen to seventeen days, and in this long respite one could read and study many books on the ship, Dr. Ambedkar took four boxes of books with him. But he left the keys [to the boxes] behind in Mumbai. That is why he was forced to relax. While he was thinking about ways to make good use of this time, he decided to see the world-famous pyramids of Egypt....

After reaching London, while meeting with the powerful people there, Dr. Ambedkar worked on writing two important drafts. He had gathered the information needed to support these drafts from many reports and books. On Dr. Ambedkar’s request, ‘F’ [an Englishwoman who was a friend and supporter] would copy and bring related excerpts from the British Museum Library, the House of Commons Library, and the India House Library…. Once in a while, Dr. Ambedkar would make speeches in front of members of various parties about the question of untouchables….The written texts [of those speeches] would be typed by ‘F.’ Dr. Ambedkar would make many changes later, and ‘F’ would type those texts out again. This program of theirs was going on for about three or four weeks…. The letter on political rights of untouchables that Dr. Ambedkar prepared and ‘F’ typed was given to a printing press. ‘F’ would do the work of proofreading during the night....

Members of the first Round Table Conference were impressed by Dr. Ambedkar’s erudite speech and glad to learn about the many secret and public activities carried out for the political rights of Dalits. The Maharaja of Baroda, Sir Sayajirao, was so pleased that he gave Dr. Ambedkar a tea party. Maharaj was staying at the Hans Crescent Hotel, Knightsbridge, London. That is where the tea party celebration took place. Many Hindi institutional leaders and Maharaja’s staff member Sir Manubhai Nandshankar Mehta were present at the party…. When Dr. Ambedkar was studying at Columbia University and London University in the years 1916-17, the correspondence from the Department of Education, Baroda, regarding a year-long extension on his scholarship beyond the initial agreement happened during Sir Manubhai Mehta’s term.


How the community of educated touchable Hindus treats a revered untouchable individual is displayed well [in this incident]….

During [the planning for] Dr. Ambedkar’s felicitation ceremony in Mumbai, hosted by Sayajirao Gaikwar… as soon as Dr. Ambedkar’s name appeared on the panel of [names for] the Gaikwar’s felicitation stage, many people started feeling sick in their stomachs. Invitations to the event mentioned that the felicitation committee’s first meeting would be held at Shri Shankarshet’s bungalow. But at the last minute, the venue was changed to Jaykar’s nearby bungalow, by spreading the false rumor that ‘There is a [dead] mouse there!’. And after that Dr. Ambedkar’s name disappeared from the felicitation stage. Sayajirao Gaikwar’s government had said that it was proud to have helped the likes of Dr. Ambedkar. But because of his ‘untouchability’, Dr. Ambedkar could not even enter Shankarshet’s bungalow. Is this incident not enraging?


Dr. Ambedkar was getting ready to go to the Round Table Conference. Ramabai, Yashvant, and Lakshmibai were not keeping well at that time. Ramabai and Yashwant’s health kept getting worse after January 1930, and got really bad in September. Just then Dr. Ambedkar was set to go to London. That is when the question of his family was constantly troubling him. The doctor recommended that they should spend two or three months away from Mumbai, so that their health would improve. Dr. Ambedkar thought about where they could stay, and decided on Dharwad. The manager of the student hostel there, Shri Balwanta Hanmanta Varale, had come to Mumbai to bid farewell to Dr. Ambedkar. Dr. Ambedkar told him to take his family to Dharwad. Varale took them (Ramabai, Yashwant, Lakshmibai, and Mukund) to Dharwad, and took good care of them. Hence, their health improved.

During their stay in Dharwad, Ramabai would keep an eye on the kitchen in the hostel. Sometimes she would help out in the cooking herself. Instead of preparing jowar bhakaris on her hand, Ramabai was amused to see the Kannada way of preparing them by first patting them on a plate. She learned how to make bhakaris in that manner. One day she saw that none of the preparation for cooking had been done, and asked Varale the reason. He said that they had not received the government grant yet. In the hope that it would come through today, or it would come through tomorrow, he had been borrowing all the provisions on credit from the local grocer for the last three months. Now the grocer wouldn’t give more provisions, and no one would give them grain. Ramabai said, “Why did you not tell me all this earlier? Take these four bangles and go bring the provisions.” Varale pawned Ramabai’s bangles and bought the goods. Ramabai helped with the cooking and served all the children food herself.

Ramabai started feeling that now that Dr. Ambedkar was coming back from London soon, she must go back to Mumbai, and she began telling Varale this from time to time. Varale said, "Let all of you be in good health, then go to Mumbai." But Ramabai was set on going to Mumbai. Dr. Ambedkar came to Mumbai by ship in January 1931. Ramabai had come to Mumbai from Dharwad before he got there. Dr. Ambedkar got very angry at her. "If you people remain careless about your health in this way, how can I manage in the face of your illnesses?", he said, addressing everyone at home.


In 1931-32, when Babasahib came to Mumbai after his work in London, his health had completely deteriorated. He would get fever intermittently. He wouldn’t have any appetite. He would get tired after reading and writing a little. He would go to Dada Keluskar’s (Krishnarao Arjunrao) to pass the time. They would chat together. Dada would say, “Bhiwa! Now pay full attention to your health and well-being. I will come with you to the beach every morning. You should swim in the sea for about half an hour. Let's try and keep this routine for a month! I wish for your health to improve.” But Dr. Ambedkar did not pay much attention to Dada's suggestion.

Then Dada would get up early in the morning and go to Dr. Ambedkar’s and take him either to the Girgaon Chowpaty or the Shivaji Park Chowpaty. The two would swim in the sea and come to Dada's house for breakfast. This routine lasted for two weeks. Dr. Ambedkar started feeling better. Then he started going for a swim by himself. Dada would take breakfast for him and go to the Chowpaty around 8:00 in the morning. Breakfast items were two eggs and poli, four pavs with butter, and a flask of coffee. Dada would feed Dr. Ambedkar breakfast and chat with him. This routine ended in a month. Dr. Ambedkar’s condition had improved….

In 1934, Dada fell ill and died. Five or six months before his death, Dada expressed his wish to nearby friends that his fans and friends should contribute to his personal collection of books in his home, and set up a library named after him in Dadar. Many people felt that Dr. Ambedkar should take this project forward. So they conveyed Dada's wish to him. Dr. Ambedkar went to Dada's house. When the issue of the library came up, Dr. Ambedkar said that he did not need to tell him (Dada) how demanding it is to run a library! "Our people have no unity, no pride, no money. White-collar workers will not help with this task. Who indeed are the people who run a library?" Upon hearing this unexpected question, everyone looked at Dr. Ambedkar in surprise. Seeing this, Dr. Ambedkar said with a smile, "Dada! Give me the library in your house. This will be your memorial, in my library. If my situation improves, I will start a library named after you." Everyone felt sad upon hearing this speech of Dr. Ambedkar. Dada shed tears of sadness.

After that Dada wrote a short autobiography. He considered Dr. Ambedkar a son, and he showed Dr. Ambedkar a path that would enlighten his life in 1908 and then in 1913, and Ambedkar too achieved great heights. But Dada did not write a single word about Dr. Ambedkar in his (little-known) autobiography…. Dr. Ambedkar soon realized that his own temperamental behavior had caused Dada to feel shock and mental distress.... Due to this peculiarity of Dr. Ambedkar’s temperament, the many friends, fans, and disciples who left Dr. Ambedkar's close circle between 1924 and 1956 left forever! Because of this, Dr. Ambedkar suffered somewhat of a personal loss, but it caused a great loss to society! Because many workers who came as volunteers into Dr. Ambedkar’s presence were pushed away from social work. In this way, society suffered--this any thoughtful and sensible person will agree to!