===
1123,
1
===

 

{1123,1}

kal le ga))e the yaar hame;N bhii chaman ke biich
us kii sii buu nah aa))ii gul-o-yaasman ke biich

1) yesterday the beloved took even/also us into the midst of the garden
2) a scent like hers didn't come amidst the rose and jasmine

 

Notes:

S. R. Faruqi:

In this 'ground' Sauda too has composed a competitive [ma((rakah-aaraa] ghazal. Mir's opening-verse is by way of introduction.

This theme he has composed much better in

{31,1}.

And better than both of them, in the fourth divan, is

{1373,5}.

Sauda's opening-verse itself is very fine; but among the rest of his verses, despite their fineness none of them have approached the quality of the three verses (after the opening-verse) that are in our intikhab.

FWP:

SETS
MOTIFS
NAMES
TERMS == INTIKHAB

A 'competitive' ghazal is one that was composed in the same meter and rhyme scheme [:tara;h] as some other ghazal, to challenge comparison; probably the occasion was a mushairah. Just for interest, here's Sauda's opening-verse to which SRF refers (from kulliyaat-e saudaa jild-e avval , ed. M. S. Siddiqi, Lahore: Majlis Taraqqi-e Adab, 1973, pp. 156-57):

saudaa giriftah-dil ko nah laa))o su;xan ke biich
juu;N ;Gunchah so zabaan hai us ke dahan ke biich

[don't bring melancholy Sauda in amidst the poetry
like a bud, is how the tongue is within his mouth]

There's also a note in that edition pointing out that Mir had chosen to include a verse from this ghazal of Sauda's in his own intikhab, nikaat ul-shu((araa , so that its composition can be dated to before 1751.

The verse that Mir chose to include was the fifth of Sauda's eight verses (p. 156):

kal ru;x.sat-e bahaar thii shabnam .sifat mai;N zor
royaa har ek gul ke gale lag chaman ke biich

[yesterday it was the leave-taking of the spring; like the dew, I bitterly
wept, taking every single rose in an embrace, in the midst of the garden]

Note for meter fans: We have to treat yaasmin as yaasman , for the sake of the rhyme.