3_04

{3,4}

letaa huu;N maktab-e ;Gam-e dil me;N sabaq hanuuz
lekin yihii kih raft gayaa aur buud thaa

1) I now/still take lessons in the school of grief of the heart

2a) but emphatically/only this: that 'went' is 'went' and 'was' is 'was'
2b) but emphatically/only this: that 'went' went and 'was' was

Notes:

hanuuz : 'Yet; still; further; just now, at present; hitherto, to this very time'. (Platts p.1239)

raft means 'went' in Persian, gayaa means 'went' in Urdu.

buud means 'was' in Persian, thaa means 'was' in Urdu.

*Platts Dictionary Online*

Nazm:

That is, the time of enjoyment once was, and now has departed. (3)

== Nazm page 3

Bekhud Dihlavi:

The school of the grief of the heart is an entirely new and untouched metaphor.... There can't be any better words for portraying the ungovernability of passion. (11)

Bekhud Mohani:

That is, passion and mystic knowledge are a field of study of which there's no end. From the eternity before creation up to today the time has been spent in learning-- but it's still the first day. (6)

FWP:

SETS == HANUZ

The two meanings of hanuuz effortlessly set two scenes for the verse. If I now take such lessons, which I did not take before (during the days of my youth and happier love?), it is not surprising that I'm only at the beginning of my experience of the grief of the heart.

While if I still take such lessons, and yet remain such a novice, it shows how huge and unfathomable is the experience of loss.

Perhaps I make no progress because I myself am fixed on those two basic concepts and refuse to abandon them. Yet they have abandoned me-- 'went' has departed and 'was' used to be (cf. 2b); I have lost not only joy, but even the vocabulary for expressing my memory of it. Joy is not at one remove from me, but at two removes.