Some anecdotes contained in
the commentary on verses:
{5,1},
about a single verse for which he would trade his
whole divan
~~~~~~~
{20,8},
clever wordplay with the King about keeping the fast
of Ramzan
~~~~~~~
{20,11},
about whether Ghalib is a saint, and whether the King
knows it
~~~~~~~
{22,2},
how he refused a fine position teaching Persian at
Delhi College
~~~~~~~
{26,1},
his literary losses and sufferings during the
Rebellion
~~~~~~~
{36,9},
about a donkey who doesn’t eat a mango
~~~~~~~{
{48,7},
on the miseries and terrors of a leaky roof in the
monsoons
~~~~~~~
{95,1},
his extemporaneous ode to a betel-nut
~~~~~~~
{97,1},
on whether he should be counted as a ‘rebel Muslim’ or
not
~~~~~~~
{98,1}, about the religious status of wine-drinking
~~~~~~~
{121,3}, on the proper mode of payment for foot-pressing
~~~~~~~
{139,1},
the famous claim that a Domni had died of love for
him
~~~~~~~
{174,4},
a beautiful act of generosity
~~~~~~~
{175,6},
an anecdote that mocks Ghalib’s ‘difficult’ poetry
~~~~~~~
{208,9},
an anecdote about whether the poet is a Muslim or not
~~~~~~~
{234,9},
about the deadly, patron-killing power of Ghalib's
odes
~~~~~~~
Another anecdote about language involving Mirza Sahib
is famous. In Delhi, some people treat rath
[cart] as feminine, and some as masculine. Someone
asked Mirza Sahib,
'Your Excellency! Is “cart” feminine, or masculine?'
He said, 'My friend! When women are seated in the
cart, then treat it as feminine,
and when men are seated in it, then consider it
masculine.'
==Urdu text: Hali, Yadgar-e Ghalib, p. 28
When Mirza came out of prison [for gambling, in 1847], then
he went and stayed at Miyan Kale's house. One day he was sitting with the
Miyan. Somebody came and congratulated him on being freed from prison. Mirza
said, 'What wretch [bha;Ruvaa, literally 'pimp'] has
gotten out of prison? First I was in the white man's [gaure
kii] prison, now I'm in the black man's [kaale kii]
prison!'
==Urdu text: Hali, Yadgar-e Ghalib, p. 31
==another (expurgated) trans.: Russell and Islam, p. 71
[When the British retook Delhi after the Rebellion of
1857, he was taken before a British officer who asked
him if he was a Muslim.] Mirza said, 'Half'. The
Colonel said, 'What does that mean?' Mirza said, 'I
drink wine; I don’t eat pork'. Having heard this, the
Colonel began to laugh.
==Urdu text: Hali, Yadgar-e Ghalib, p. 39
[A scurrilous attack on Ghalib had
been published.] Someone said, 'Your Excellency! You
haven't written
any answer to it.' Mirza said, 'If a donkey kicks you,
then will you
kick him back?'
==Urdu text: Hali,
Yadgar-e Ghalib, p. 49
==Azad’s version: Pritchett and Faruqi, p. 507
[A Maulana came to visit,] and when he saw Mirza
playing chausar during the month of Ramzan he
said, 'In the Hadiths I've read that during the month
of Ramzan, Satan is imprisoned, but today I’]'ve begun
to doubt the truth of that hadith.'
Mirza said, 'Your Worship! The hadith is
entirely true, but you should realize that the place
where Satan is imprisoned is this very chamber.'
==Urdu text: Hali,
Yadgar-e Ghalib, p. 68
One day during the mango season the
late Bahadur Shah was strolling with some companions
[in a garden full
of mangoes]. From time to time Mirza looked
attentively at a mango. The
king asked, ‘Mirza, what are you looking at so
attentively?’ Mirza
replied with folded hands, ‘My Lord and Guide, some
poet has said that
every fruit has written on it the name of its destined
eater and his
ancestors. I’m looking to see whether my and my
ancestors’ names are
written on any of the fruit.’ The king smiled, and
that same day caused
a number of very fine mangoes to be sent to Mirza.
==Urdu text: Hali,
Yadgar-e Ghalib, p. 70
In no way was Mirza’s temperament
ever satiated with mangoes.
People in the city sent them as gifts, he himself had
them brought from
the market, mangoes came from distant places as
presents, but Mirza’s
soul was not satisfied. [One day some friends who were
gathered began
to discuss mangoes]; each one was giving his opinion
about what virtues
they ought to have. When they had all expressed their
views, then
Maulana Fazl-e Haq said to Mirza, 'Give your opinion
too'. Mirza said,
'My friend, in my view only two things are necessary
in mangoes: they
should be sweet, and they should be numerous'.
==Urdu text: Hali,
Yadgar-e
Ghalib, pp. 70-71
One time, at night, he was lying on
a cot, looking at the sky. Seeing the apparent
disorder and lack of
arrangement of the stars, he said, 'The task done out
of self-will is
usually done in a disorderly way. Look at the
stars— how badly they’re
scattered around! No order, no arrangement; neither
pattern nor design. But the King has the right over
everything; no one can breathe a word.'
==Urdu text: Hali,
Yadgar-e
Ghalib, pp. 72-73
One day the late Sayyid Sardar Mirza came in the
evening. After a little while, when he was preparing
to leave, Mirza himself with his own hands brought a
candle over by the
edge of the carpet, so that he would have light for
putting on his shoes. He said, 'Your Worship, why have
you taken the trouble? I would
have put my shoes on by myself.' Mirza said, 'I
brought the candle not to show you your own shoes, but
for fear you might put on mine by mistake!'
==Urdu text: Hali,
Yadgar-e Ghalib, p. 73
Mirza’s wife, who was the daughter of Alahi
Bakhsh Khan Ma'ruf, was extremely pious and abstemious
and strictly devoted to
prayer.... so much so that wife’s and husband’s eating
and drinking
utensils were kept separate. Nevertheless, the wife
never ceased to
serve her husband and care for him. Mirza Sahab always
remained in the
men’s quarters, but his food and drink, etc., were
arranged within the
house [by his wife]. As long as he had the strength to
walk and move
about, Mirza always, at a fixed time, went daily to
[his wife’s part
of] the house. And he treated his wife and all her
relatives extremely
well.
==Urdu text: Hali,
Yadgar-e
Ghalib, p. 96
[Learning of a friend who had been
widowed twice and wished to marry again, Mirza wrote
in a letter,]
'Hearing about Umra'o Singh's situation, I feel
compassion on his
behalf, and envy on my own. My God—he is one whose
fetters have been
cut twice! And here am I, who have had the hangman's
noose around my
neck for more than fifty years— and neither does the
noose break, nor
does the breath quite leave my body!'
==Urdu text: Hali,
Yadgar-e
Ghalib, p. 97
Once in the winter, a parrot’s
cage was before him. Because of the cold, the parrot
sat with his head tucked under his wing. Seeing
this, Mirza said, 'Friend Parrot! You have neither
wife nor children— why should you sit there
with your head bowed, in such a
careworn state?'
==Urdu text: Hali,
Yadgar-e
Ghalib, p. 97
One day
Mirza’s pupil and follower came and said, 'Your
Excellency, today I
went to the tomb of Amir Khusrau. By the tomb there’s
a khirni tree. I
ate quite a number of its fruits. As soon as I had
eaten them, it was
as if the door of eloquence and rhetoric opened. Just
see how eloquent
I’ve become!' Mirza said, 'Aré, my friend,
why did you go six
miles? Why don’t you eat the berries from the pipal
tree in my back
courtyard? You would have obtained fourteen grades of
illumination!'
==Azad:
Pritchett and Faruqi, p. 507
