What is Rage?

Rage is a shame based expression of anger.

Rage is by definition abuse. Ragers react to strong emotions with rage. (i.e. feelings of  fear, sadness, shame, inadequacy, guilt or loss convert to rage.)

Ragers were typically shamed or punished by their caretakers for expressing emotion when they were young; i.e.: "Be a man and don't cry", "Nice girls don't get angry" or "I'll give you something to cry about". 

Raging gives the rager a feeling of power - offsetting their shame and feelings of inadequacy.

Rage sets up a neurochemical reaction in the brain that can be addictive, producing what is known as rageaholism or ragaholics.

What Rage Looks Like:

Screaming, physical expressions of anger, violence or threats of violence, sulking, manipulation, emotional blackmail, silent smoldering, and anger used to punish. 

What Healthy Anger looks like:

Healthy expression of anger involves confrontation of what makes you angry and an effort to set  boundaries. (What you will do in response to what makes you angry.)   

i.e: When you (a behavior), I feel (a feeling) , and to protect myself I will _________.  

Healthy anger is not used to punish, is not violent, and isn't used to intimidate, control or manipulate. It is expressed, discussed, and moved through.

Healthy anger is not stuffed down and ignored. (Stuffed anger created resentment and a wealth of physical / mental and emotional problems.)   Healthy anger is not expressed in passive aggressive and manipulative ways.