Whatever we say…for good or
for bad, will come true. Just as we bless with such intensity so also we
curse with such power that if we curse any person
the
food in their house will get spoiled. I know this is so because I have done
it myself. After that I felt so bad that I made a vow never to curse anyone
again,
even if he shows me his shoe (an insult)…
What happened was that in this one locality where we had gone dancing there
was an important man who never permitted the hijras to entertain in front of
him.
When his daughter-in-law gave birth to a son and we came to know of this, we
went to his house to give the blessing, but he insulted us so badly, I could
not stand it. He practically threw us down the stairs. So I made this wish
to the Mata [Mother Goddess], “the way you have sent us down, so your son’s
child’s bier will go the same way.”
This curse just slipped from my tongue, I was so angry. The day after this that
small boy fell sick. They treated him with many medicines, but the child never
got better and then he died. 
A year later, when we were again roaming in that vicinity, this same man was
sitting in his hours. He said to me, “Mataji, mataji [‘mother’ – used
as a form of respect]…you people came to my house and I did not give you
permission to dance. I should have let you go away happily. Instead I sent you
away with kicks and today my daughter-in-law’s lap is empty, she is childless.
I had a gift from heaven and now God has taken that gift away.”
He asked us to listen to him, but we told him we would not listen because he
had sent us away like that. We told him, “We are not going to listen to
anything you say; you insulted us so badly. You thought we were nothing. You
did not have to insult us, you could have given us five rupees or even two – any
small sum of money- and said, “Mataji, we don’t allow this dancing
to take place, you take these two rupees and enjoy some tea with them, just
bless my grandson before you go.”
“ our hearts would have swelled up so much and we would have said, ‘Never
mind, he never let us dance but at least he gave us money for our tea, 10 rupees
or 2 rupees. God keep him happy and instead of one son give him two sons.’ But
you pushed us away with insults.”
… What we felt in our minds at this time was that our respect was at stake.
After all, we are neither men nor women. If we were men we would have a good
job, be working in some factory. We would also get married and bring a daughter-in-law
into the home and our parent would have some satisfaction and some hope.
But God has made us this way, neither man nor woman, and all we are left with
is to go wherever a child is born or a wedding is performed and sing a couple
of songs so that we can sell our art or talent and make a little money and
fill our stomachs. We don’t rob or steal from anyone’s house, we don’t
go to burgle anyone’s house – this man should have at least thought
this much. If I had been on my own, I could have calmed myself down, but I had
my troupe or hijras with me. If I had not said anything to him, these hijras
would have said, “See how he has insulted us and you have not said anything
to him.
-Prema, Hijra
(Nanda 7)
“If someone insults me, or teases me as I pass, I feel so small in
my mind, I say to God, why did you make us in this way, you should have made
us in such a way that no one would have the guts or the opportunity to tease
us in passing. In this manner I try to place myself. Then I abuse those who
insult me; I say, “go away, may your mother or your daughter or your
wife or your sister give birth to a hijra like me, let a hijra be born in your
house as well. Then God will tell you, this is the result of your teasing a
hijra, that is why you have a hijra born in your house. You can finish him
off, or bury him as soon as he is born, or smother him… Will you try
that or will you try to make him grow up? And when he grows up he will wear
a sari like us. And one day he will be standing on the road and your friend
who is with you, not knowing, will tease him and call him hijra. What will
you say then? What will you feel? This is how we feel, this is what our minds
are saying this is how we have suffered. So now, before you tease us, just
think how we suffer from this.
-Madhu, Hijra
(Nanda 9)
In the time of the Ramayana, Ram
fought with the demon Ravenna and went to Sir Lanka to bring his wife, Sita,
back to India. Before this, His father commanded
Ram to leave Ayodha [his native city] and go into the forest for 14 years.
As he went, the whole city followed him because they loved him so. As Ram came
to the banks of the river at the edge of the forest, he turned to the people
and said, “Ladies and gents, please wipe your tears and go away.” But
those people who were not men and not women did not know what to do. So they
stayed there because Ram did not ask them to go. They remained there 14 years
and when Ram returned from Lanka he found those people there, all meditating.
And so they were blessed by Ram.
-Unnamed Hijra (Nanda 13)
We perform at
a house where a baby is born.
-Unnamed Hijra (Nanda 6)
There are …people who imitate us, who…go
where a baby is born, but only we have the power of giving it the blessing.
This is because we are
neither men nor women and have been separated from God, so that God grants
our special prayers in every place, to us only. A hijra is born from the stomach
of a woman, but can be counted neither among the men nor the women. This is
why we are called hijras and why we have a right to nothing except singing
and dancing.
-Unnamed Hijra (Nanda 11)
In Ajmer, in North India, there
is a holy place that belongs to the hijras. It is called Baba Darga, and
it is on top of a hill. One time, during Urs [a
Muslim Festival], many people were going up the hill to pay respects to Baba
[a Muslim saint]. One hijra was also there. She saw a lady with four children
and offered to carry one or two of them. The lady became very angry and told
the hijra, “You are a hijra, so don’t touch my children.
This made the hijra feel very sad, so she asked Baba for his blessing for a
child of her own. But she only asked for a child and didn’t ask Baba
to bring the child out. The pregnancy went on for ten months, and her stomach
became very bloated. She went to the doctors but they didn’t want to
perform an operation [Caesarean] on her. Eventually she couldn’t stand
the weight any longer so she prayed to the Baba to redeem her from this situation.
But Baba could only grant her the boon, he could not reverse it.
When the hijra felt she could stand it no more, she found a sword at the Darga
[Muslim shrine] and slit herself open. She removed the child and placed it
on the ground. The child died and the hijra also died. Now at this Darga prayers
are prayers to this hijra and the child and then to the Baba.
-Unamed Hijra
(Nanda 19)