[7]

00

IN THE HEART OF THE HIBERNIAN
METROPOLIS

PARBefore Nelson's pillar trams slowed, shunted, changed trolley, started
for Blackrock, Kingstown and Dalkey, Clonskea, Rathgar and Terenure,
Palmerston Park and upper Rathmines, Sandymount Green, Rathmines,
Ringsend and Sandymount Tower, Harold's Cross. The hoarse Dublin
United Tramway Company's timekeeper bawled them off:

PAR—Rathgar and Terenure!

PAR—Come on, Sandymount Green!

PARRight and left parallel clanging ringing a doubledecker and a

10

singledeck moved from their railheads, swerved to the down line, glided
parallel.

PAR—Start, Palmerston Park!

THE WEARER OF THE CROWN

PARUnder the porch of the general post office shoeblacks called and
polished. Parked in North Prince's street His Majesty's vermilion mailcars,
bearing on their sides the royal initials, E. R., received loudly flung sacks of
letters, postcards, lettercards, parcels, insured and paid, for local,
provincial, British and overseas delivery.

PAR—There it is, Red Murray said. Alexander Keyes.

PAR—Just cut it out, will you? Mr Bloom said, and I'll take it round to the
Telegraph office.

PARThe door of Ruttledge's office creaked again. Davy Stephens, minute
in a large capecoat, a small felt hat crowning his ringlets, passed out with a
roll of papers under his cape, a king's courier.

30

PARRed Murray's long shears sliced out the advertisement from the
newspaper in four clean strokes. Scissors and paste.

PAR—I'll go through the printingworks, Mr Bloom said, taking the cut square.

PAR—Of course, if he wants a par, Red Murray said earnestly, a pen behind his
ear, we can do him one.

PAR—Right, Mr Bloom said with a nod. I'll rub that in.

PARWe.

PARRed Murray touched Mr Bloom's arm with the shears and whispered:

40

PAR—Brayden.

PARMr Bloom turned and saw the liveried porter raise his lettered cap as a
stately figure entered between the newsboards of the Weekly Freeman and
National Press and the Freeman's Journal and National Press. Dullthudding
Guinness's barrels. It passed statelily up the staircase, steered by an
umbrella, a solemn beardframed face. The broadcloth back ascended each
step: back. All his brains are in the nape of his neck, Simon Dedalus says.
Welts of flesh behind on him. Fat folds of neck, fat, neck, fat, neck.

PAR—Don't you think his face is like Our Saviour? Red Murray whispered.

PARThe door of Ruttledge's office whispered: ee: cree. They always build

50

one door opposite another for the wind to. Way in. Way out.

PAROur Saviour: beardframed oval face: talking in the dusk. Mary,
Martha. Steered by an umbrella sword to the footlights: Mario the tenor.

PAR—Or like Mario, Mr Bloom said.

PAR—Yes, Red Murray agreed. But Mario was said to be the picture of Our
Saviour.

PARJesusmario with rougy cheeks, doublet and spindle legs. Hand on his
heart. In Martha.

PAR—His grace phoned down twice this morning, Red Murray said gravely.

PARThey watched the knees, legs, boots vanish. Neck.

PARA telegram boy stepped in nimbly, threw an envelope on the counter
and stepped off posthaste with a word:

PAR—Freeman!

PARMr Bloom said slowly:

PAR—Well, he is one of our saviours also.

PARA meek smile accompanied him as he lifted the counterflap, as he
passed in through a sidedoor and along the warm dark stairs and passage,

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along the now reverberating boards. But will he save the circulation?
Thumping. Thumping.

PARHe pushed in the glass swingdoor and entered, stepping over strewn
packing paper. Through a lane of clanking drums he made his way towards
Nannetti's reading closet.

PAR

Hynes here too: account of the funeral probably. Thumping. Thump.

WITH UNFEIGNED REGRET IT IS WE
ANNOUNCE THE DISSOLUTION OF A MOST

80

RESPECTED DUBLIN BURGESS

PARMr Bloom halted behind the foreman's spare body, admiring a glossy
crown.

PARStrange he never saw his real country. Ireland my country. Member
for College green. He boomed that workaday worker tack for all it was
worth. It's the ads and side features sell a weekly, not the stale news in the

90

official gazette. Queen Anne is dead. Published by authority in the year one
thousand and. Demesne situate in the townland of Rosenallis, barony of
Tinnahinch. To all whom it may concern schedule pursuant to statute
showing return of number of mules and jennets exported from Ballina.
Nature notes. Cartoons. Phil Blake's weekly Pat and Bull story. Uncle
Toby's page for tiny tots. Country bumpkin's queries. Dear Mr Editor,
what is a good cure for flatulence? I'd like that part. Learn a lot teaching
others. The personal note. M. A. P. Mainly all pictures. Shapely bathers on
golden strand. World's biggest balloon. Double marriage of sisters
celebrated. Two bridegrooms laughing heartily at each other. Cuprani too,

100

printer. More Irish than the Irish.

PARThe machines clanked in threefour time. Thump, thump, thump.
Now if he got paralysed there and no-one knew how to stop them they'd
clank on and on the same, print it over and over and up and back.
Monkeydoodle the whole thing. Want a cool head.

PAR—Well, get it into the evening edition, councillor, Hynes said.

PARSoon be calling him my lord mayor. Long John is backing him, they
say.

PARThe foreman, without answering, scribbled press on a corner of the
sheet and made a sign to a typesetter. He handed the sheet silently over the

110

dirty glass screen.

PAR—Right: thanks, Hynes said moving off.

PARMr Bloom stood in his way.

PAR—If you want to draw the cashier is just going to lunch, he said, pointing
backward with his thumb.

PAR—Did you? Hynes asked.

PAR—Mm, Mr Bloom said. Look sharp and you'll catch him.

PAR—Thanks, old man, Hynes said. I'll tap him too.

PARHe hurried on eagerly towards the Freeman's Journal office.

PARThree bob I lent him in Meagher's. Three weeks. Third hint.

PARMr Bloom laid his cutting on Mr Nannetti's desk.

PAR—Excuse me, councillor, he said. This ad, you see. Keyes, you remember?

PARMr Nannetti considered the cutting awhile and nodded.

PAR—He wants it in for July, Mr Bloom said.

PARThe foreman moved his pencil towards it.

PAR—But wait, Mr Bloom said. He wants it changed. Keyes, you see. He wants
two keys at the top.

PARHell of a racket they make. He doesn't hear it. Nannan. Iron nerves.
Maybe he understands what I.

130

PARThe foreman turned round to hear patiently and, lifting an elbow,
began to scratch slowly in the armpit of his alpaca jacket.

PAR—Like that, Mr Bloom said, crossing his forefingers at the top.

PARLet him take that in first.

PARMr Bloom, glancing sideways up from the cross he had made, saw the
foreman's sallow face, think he has a touch of jaundice, and beyond the
obedient reels feeding in huge webs of paper. Clank it. Clank it. Miles of it
unreeled. What becomes of it after? O, wrap up meat, parcels: various uses,
thousand and one things.

PARSlipping his words deftly into the pauses of the clanking he drew

140

swiftly on the scarred woodwork.

PAR—Like that, see. Two crossed keys here. A circle. Then here the name.
Alexander Keyes, tea, wine and spirit merchant. So on.

PARBetter not teach him his own business.

PAR—You know yourself, councillor, just what he wants. Then round the top in
leaded: the house of keys. You see? Do you think that's a good idea?

PARThe foreman moved his scratching hand to his lower ribs and
scratched there quietly.

PAR—The idea, Mr Bloom said, is the house of keys. You know, councillor, the

150

Manx parliament. Innuendo of home rule. Tourists, you know, from the isle
of Man. Catches the eye, you see. Can you do that?

PARI could ask him perhaps about how to pronounce that voglio. But
then if he didn't know only make it awkward for him. Better not.

PAR—We can do that, the foreman said. Have you the design?

PAR—I can get it, Mr Bloom said. It was in a Kilkenny paper. He has a house
there too. I'll just run out and ask him. Well, you can do that and just a little
par calling attention. You know the usual. Highclass licensed premises.
Longfelt want. So on.

PARThe foreman thought for an instant.

160

PAR—We can do that, he said. Let him give us a three months' renewal.

PARA typesetter brought him a limp galleypage. He began to check it
silently. Mr Bloom stood by, hearing the loud throbs of cranks, watching
the silent typesetters at their cases.

PARWant to be sure of his spelling. Proof fever. Martin Cunningham
forgot to give us his spellingbee conundrum this morning. It is amusing to
view the unpar one ar alleled embarra two ars is it? double ess ment of a
harassed pedlar while gauging au the symmetry with a y of a peeled pear
under a cemetery wall. Silly, isn't it? Cemetery put in of course on account

170

of the symmetry.

PARI should have said when he clapped on his topper. Thank you. I ought
to have said something about an old hat or something. No. I could have
said. Looks as good as new now. See his phiz then.

PARSllt. The nethermost deck of the first machine jogged forward its
flyboard with sllt the first batch of quirefolded papers. Sllt. Almost human
the way it sllt to call attention. Doing its level best to speak. That door too
sllt creaking, asking to be shut. Everything speaks in its own way. Sllt.

PAR—Monks!

PARMr Bloom took up his cutting. Time to get out.

PAR—Then I'll get the design, Mr Nannetti, he said, and you'll give it a good
place I know.

190

PAR—Monks!

PAR—Yes, sir.

PARThree months' renewal. Want to get some wind off my chest first. Try
it anyhow. Rub in August: good idea: horseshow month. Ballsbridge.
Tourists over for the show.

PARHe walked on through the caseroom passing an old man, bowed,
spectacled, aproned. Old Monks, the dayfather. Queer lot of stuff he must
have put through his hands in his time: obituary notices, pubs' ads,
speeches, divorce suits, found drowned. Nearing the end of his tether now.

200

Sober serious man with a bit in the savingsbank I'd say. Wife a good cook
and washer. Daughter working the machine in the parlour. Plain Jane, no
damn nonsense.

PARHe stayed in his walk to watch a typesetter neatly distributing type.
Reads it backwards first. Quickly he does it. Must require some practice
that. mangiD kcirtaP. Poor papa with his hagadah book, reading
backwards with his finger to me. Pessach. Next year in Jerusalem. Dear, O
dear! All that long business about that brought us out of the land of Egypt

210

and into the house of bondage alleluia. Shema Israel Adonai Elohenu. No,
that's the other. Then the twelve brothers, Jacob's sons. And then the lamb
and the cat and the dog and the stick and the water and the butcher. And
then the angel of death kills the butcher and he kills the ox and the dog kills
the cat. Sounds a bit silly till you come to look into it well. Justice it means
but it's everybody eating everyone else. That's what life is after all. How
quickly he does that job. Practice makes perfect. Seems to see with his
fingers.

PARMr Bloom passed on out of the clanking noises through the gallery on
to the landing. Now am I going to tram it out all the way and then catch

220

him out perhaps. Better phone him up first. Number? Yes. Same as Citron's
house. Twentyeight. Twentyeight double four.

PARHe went down the house staircase. Who the deuce scrawled all over
those walls with matches? Looks as if they did it for a bet. Heavy greasy
smell there always is in those works. Lukewarm glue in Thom's next door
when I was there.

PARHe took out his handkerchief to dab his nose. Citronlemon? Ah, the
soap I put there. Lose it out of that pocket. Putting back his handkerchief
he took out the soap and stowed it away, buttoned, into the hip pocket of

230

his trousers.

PARWhat perfume does your wife use? I could go home still: tram:
something I forgot. Just to see: before: dressing. No. Here. No.

PARA sudden screech of laughter came from the Evening Telegraph
office. Know who that is. What's up? Pop in a minute to phone. Ned
Lambert it is.

PARHe entered softly.

PAR—The ghost walks, professor MacHugh murmured softly, biscuitfully to
the dusty windowpane.

240

PARMr Dedalus, staring from the empty fireplace at Ned Lambert's
quizzing face, asked of it sourly:

PAR—Agonising Christ, wouldn't it give you a heartburn on your arse?

PARNed Lambert, seated on the table, read on:

PAR—Or again, note the meanderings of some purling rill as it babbles on its
way, tho' quarrelling with the stony obstacles, to the tumbling waters of
Neptune's blue domain, 'mid mossy banks, fanned by gentlest zephyrs,
played on by the glorious sunlight or 'neath the shadows cast o'er its pensive
bosom by the overarching leafage of the giants of the forest. What about
that, Simon? he asked over the fringe of his newspaper. How's that for

250

high?

PAR—Changing his drink, Mr Dedalus said.

PARNed Lambert, laughing, struck the newspaper on his knees,
repeating:

PAR—The pensive bosom and the overarsing leafage. O boys! O boys!

PAR—And Xenophon looked upon Marathon, Mr Dedalus said, looking again
on the fireplace and to the window, and Marathon looked on the sea.

PAR—That will do, professor MacHugh cried from the window. I don't want to
hear any more of the stuff.

PARHe ate off the crescent of water biscuit he had been nibbling and,

260

hungered, made ready to nibble the biscuit in his other hand.

PARHigh falutin stuff. Bladderbags. Ned Lambert is taking a day off I
see. Rather upsets a man's day, a funeral does. He has influence they say.
Old Chatterton, the vicechancellor, is his granduncle or his
greatgranduncle. Close on ninety they say. Subleader for his death written
this long time perhaps. Living to spite them. Might go first himself. Johnny,
make room for your uncle. The right honourable Hedges Eyre Chatterton.
Daresay he writes him an odd shaky cheque or two on gale days. Windfall
when he kicks out. Alleluia.

PAR—Just another spasm, Ned Lambert said.

270

PAR—What is it? Mr Bloom asked.

PAR—A recently discovered fragment of Cicero, professor MacHugh answered
with pomp of tone. Our lovely land.

SHORT BUT TO THE POINT

PAR—Whose land? Mr Bloom said simply.

PAR—Most pertinent question, the professor said between his chews. With an
accent on the whose.

PAR—Dan Dawson's land Mr Dedalus said.

PAR—Is it his speech last night? Mr Bloom asked.

PARNed Lambert nodded.

280

PAR—But listen to this, he said.

PARThe doorknob hit Mr Bloom in the small of the back as the door was
pushed in.

PAR—Excuse me, J. J. O'Molloy said, entering.

PARMr Bloom moved nimbly aside.

PAR—I beg yours, he said.

PAR—Good day, Jack.

PAR—Come in. Come in.

PAR—Good day.

PAR—How are you, Dedalus?

290

PAR—Well. And yourself?

PARJ. J. O'Molloy shook his head.

PARCleverest fellow at the junior bar he used to be. Decline, poor chap.
That hectic flush spells finis for a man. Touch and go with him. What's in
the wind, I wonder. Money worry.

PAR—Or again if we but climb the serried mountain peaks.

PAR—You're looking extra.

PAR—Is the editor to be seen? J. J. O'Molloy asked, looking towards the inner
door.

300

PAR—Very much so, professor MacHugh said. To be seen and heard. He's in
his sanctum with Lenehan.

PARJ. J. O'Molloy strolled to the sloping desk and began to turn back the
pink pages of the file.

PARPractice dwindling. A mighthavebeen. Losing heart. Gambling. Debts
of honour. Reaping the whirlwind. Used to get good retainers from D. and
T. Fitzgerald. Their wigs to show the grey matter. Brains on their sleeve
like the statue in Glasnevin. Believe he does some literary work for the
Express with Gabriel Conroy. Wellread fellow. Myles Crawford began on
the Independent. Funny the way those newspaper men veer about when

310

they get wind of a new opening. Weathercocks. Hot and cold in the same
breath. Wouldn't know which to believe. One story good till you hear the
next. Go for one another baldheaded in the papers and then all blows over.
Hail fellow well met the next moment.

PAR—Ah, listen to this for God' sake, Ned Lambert pleaded. Or again if we but
climb the serried mountain peaks ...

PAR—Bombast! the professor broke in testily. Enough of the inflated windbag!

PAR—Peaks, Ned Lambert went on, towering high on high, to bathe our souls,
as it were ...

PAR—Bathe his lips, Mr Dedalus said. Blessed and eternal God! Yes? Is he

320

taking anything for it?

PAR—As 'twere, in the peerless panorama of Ireland's portfolio, unmatched,
despite their wellpraised prototypes in other vaunted prize regions, for very
beauty, of bosky grove and undulating plain and luscious pastureland of
vernal green, steeped in the transcendent translucent glow of our mild
mysterious Irish twilight ...

PAR—The moon, professor MacHugh said. He forgot Hamlet.

HIS NATIVE DORIC

PAR—That mantles the vista far and wide and wait till the glowing orb of the
moon shine forth to irradiate her silver effulgence ...

330

PAR—O! Mr Dedalus cried, giving vent to a hopeless groan. Shite and onions!
That'll do, Ned. Life is too short.

PARHe took off his silk hat and, blowing out impatiently his bushy
moustache, welshcombed his hair with raking fingers.

PARNed Lambert tossed the newspaper aside, chuckling with delight. An
instant after a hoarse bark of laughter burst over professor MacHugh's
unshaven blackspectacled face.

PAR—Doughy Daw! he cried.

PARAll very fine to jeer at it now in cold print but it goes down like hot

340

cake that stuff. He was in the bakery line too, wasn't he? Why they call him
Doughy Daw. Feathered his nest well anyhow. Daughter engaged to that
chap in the inland revenue office with the motor. Hooked that nicely.
Entertainments. Open house. Big blowout. Wetherup always said that. Get
a grip of them by the stomach.

PARThe inner door was opened violently and a scarlet beaked face,
crested by a comb of feathery hair, thrust itself in. The bold blue eyes stared
about them and the harsh voice asked:

PAR—What is it?

PAR—And here comes the sham squire himself! professor MacHugh said

350

grandly.

PAR—Getonouthat, you bloody old pedagogue! the editor said in recognition.

PAR—Come, Ned, Mr Dedalus said, putting on his hat. I must get a drink after

PAR—Drink! the editor cried. No drinks served before mass.

PAR—Quite right too, Mr Dedalus said, going out. Come on, Ned.

PARNed Lambert sidled down from the table. The editor's blue eyes roved
towards Mr Bloom's face, shadowed by a smile.

PAR—Will you join us, Myles? Ned Lambert asked.

PAR—North Cork militia! the editor cried, striding to the mantelpiece. We won

360

every time! North Cork and Spanish officers!

PAR—Where was that, Myles? Ned Lambert asked with a reflective glance at his
toecaps.

PAR—In Ohio! the editor shouted.

PAR—So it was, begad, Ned Lambert agreed.

PARPassing out he whispered to J. J. O'Molloy:

PAR—Incipient jigs. Sad case.

PAR—Ohio! the editor crowed in high treble from his uplifted scarlet face. My
Ohio!

PAR—A perfect cretic! the professor said. Long, short and long.

370

O, HARP EOLIAN!

PARHe took a reel of dental floss from his waistcoat pocket and, breaking
off a piece, twanged it smartly between two and two of his resonant
unwashed teeth.

PAR—Bingbang, bangbang.

PARMr Bloom, seeing the coast clear, made for the inner door.

PAR—Just a moment, Mr Crawford, he said. I just want to phone about an ad.

PARHe went in.

PAR—What about that leader this evening? professor MacHugh asked, coming
to the editor and laying a firm hand on his shoulder.

380

PAR—That'll be all right, Myles Crawford said more calmly. Never you fret.
Hello, Jack. That's all right.

PAR—Good day, Myles, J. J. O'Molloy said, letting the pages he held slip limply
back on the file. Is that Canada swindle case on today?

PARThe telephone whirred inside.

PAR—Twentyeight. No. Twenty. Double four, yes.

SPOT THE WINNER

PARLenehan came out of the inner office with Sport's tissues.

PAR—Who wants a dead cert for the Gold cup? he asked. Sceptre with O.
Madden up.

390

PARHe tossed the tissues on to the table.

PARScreams of newsboys barefoot in the hall rushed near and the door
was flung open.

PAR—Hush, Lenehan said. I hear feetstoops.

PARProfessor MacHugh strode across the room and seized the cringing
urchin by the collar as the others scampered out of the hall and down the
steps. The tissues rustled up in the draught, floated softly in the air blue
scrawls and under the table came to earth.

PAR—It wasn't me, sir. It was the big fellow shoved me, sir.

PAR—Throw him out and shut the door, the editor said. There's a hurricane

400

blowing.

PARLenehan began to paw the tissues up from the floor, grunting as he
stooped twice.

PAR—Waiting for the racing special, sir, the newsboy said. It was Pat Farrell
shoved me, sir.

PARHe pointed to two faces peering in round the doorframe.

PAR—Him, sir.

PAR—Out of this with you, professor MacHugh said gruffly.

PARHe hustled the boy out and banged the door to.

PARJ. J. O'Molloy turned the files crackingly over, murmuring, seeking:

410

PAR—Continued on page six, column four.

PAR—Yes, Evening Telegraph here, Mr Bloom phoned from the inner office. Is
the boss...? Yes, Telegraph .... To where? Aha! Which auction rooms?...
Aha! I see. Right. I'll catch him.

A COLLISION ENSUES

PARThe bell whirred again as he rang off. He came in quickly and
bumped against Lenehan who was struggling up with the second tissue.

PAR—Pardon, monsieur, Lenehan said, clutching him for an instant and making
a grimace.

PAR—My fault, Mr Bloom said, suffering his grip. Are you hurt? I'm in a hurry.

420

PAR—Knee, Lenehan said.

PARHe made a comic face and whined, rubbing his knee:

PAR—The accumulation of the anno Domini.

PAR—Sorry, Mr Bloom said.

PARHe went to the door and, holding it ajar, paused. J. J. O'Molloy
slapped the heavy pages over. The noise of two shrill voices, a mouthorgan,
echoed in the bare hallway from the newsboys squatted on the doorsteps:

PAR—I'm just running round to Bachelor's walk, Mr Bloom said, about this ad
of Keyes's. Want to fix it up. They tell me he's round there in Dillon's.

PARHe looked indecisively for a moment at their faces. The editor who,
leaning against the mantelshelf, had propped his head on his hand,
suddenly stretched forth an arm amply.

PAR—Begone! he said. The world is before you.

PAR—Back in no time, Mr Bloom said, hurrying out.

PARJ. J. O'Molloy took the tissues from Lenehan's hand and read them,
blowing them apart gently, without comment.

PAR—He'll get that advertisement, the professor said, staring through his

440

blackrimmed spectacles over the crossblind. Look at the young scamps after
him.

PAR—Show. Where? Lenehan cried, running to the window.

PAR—Look at the young guttersnipe behind him hue and cry, Lenehan said, and
you'll kick. O, my rib risible! Taking off his flat spaugs and the walk. Small
nines. Steal upon larks.

450

PARHe began to mazurka in swift caricature across the floor on sliding
feet past the fireplace to J. J. O'Molloy who placed the tissues in his
receiving hands.

PAR—What's that? Myles Crawford said with a start. Where are the other two
gone?

PAR—Who? the professor said, turning. They're gone round to the Oval for a
drink. Paddy Hooper is there with Jack Hall. Came over last night.

PAR—Come on then, Myles Crawford said. Where's my hat?

PARHe walked jerkily into the office behind, parting the vent of his jacket,
jingling his keys in his back pocket. They jingled then in the air and against

460

the wood as he locked his desk drawer.

PAR—He's pretty well on, professor MacHugh said in a low voice.

PAR—Seems to be, J. J. O'Molloy said, taking out a cigarettecase in murmuring
meditation, but it is not always as it seems. Who has the most matches?

THE CALUMET OF PEACE

PARHe offered a cigarette to the professor and took one himself. Lenehan
promptly struck a match for them and lit their cigarettes in turn. J. J.
O'Molloy opened his case again and offered it.

PAR—Thanky vous, Lenehan said, helping himself.

PARThe editor came from the inner office, a straw hat awry on his brow.

470

He declaimed in song, pointing sternly at professor MacHugh:

'Twas rank and fame that tempted thee,
'Twas empire charmed thy heart.

PARThe professor grinned, locking his long lips.

PAR—Eh? You bloody old Roman empire? Myles Crawford said.

PARHe took a cigarette from the open case. Lenehan, lighting it for him
with quick grace, said:

PAR—Silence for my brandnew riddle!

PAR—Imperium romanum, J. J. O'Molloy said gently. It sounds nobler than
British or Brixton. The word reminds one somehow of fat in the fire.

PARMyles Crawford blew his first puff violently towards the ceiling.

480

PAR—That's it, he said. We are the fat. You and I are the fat in the fire. We
haven't got the chance of a snowball in hell.

THE GRANDEUR THAT WAS ROME

PAR—Wait a moment, professor MacHugh said, raising two quiet claws. We
mustn't be led away by words, by sounds of words. We think of Rome,
imperial, imperious, imperative.

PARHe extended elocutionary arms from frayed stained shirtcuffs,
pausing:

PAR—What was their civilisation? Vast, I allow: but vile. Cloacae: sewers. The
jews in the wilderness and on the mountaintop said: It is meet to be here.

490

Let us build an altar to Jehovah. The Roman, like the Englishman who
follows in his footsteps, brought to every new shore on which he set his foot
(on our shore he never set it) only his cloacal obsession. He gazed about
him in his toga and he said: It is meet to be here. Let us construct a
watercloset.

PAR—Which they accordingly did do, Lenehan said. Our old ancient ancestors,
as we read in the first chapter of Guinness's, were partial to the running
stream.

PAR—They were nature's gentlemen, J. J. O'Molloy murmured. But we have
also Roman law.

500

PAR—And Pontius Pilate is its prophet, professor MacHugh responded.

PAR—Do you know that story about chief baron Palles? J. J. O'Molloy asked.
It was at the royal university dinner. Everything was going swimmingly .....

PAR—First my riddle, Lenehan said. Are you ready?

PARMr O'Madden Burke, tall in copious grey of Donegal tweed, came in
from the hallway. Stephen Dedalus, behind him, uncovered as he entered.

PAR—Entrez, mes enfants! Lenehan cried.

PAR—I escort a suppliant, Mr O'Madden Burke said melodiously. Youth led by
Experience visits Notoriety.

PAR—How do you do? the editor said, holding out a hand. Come in. Your

510

governor is just gone.

?           ?         ?

PARLenehan said to all:

PAR—Silence! What opera resembles a railwayline? Reflect, ponder, excogitate,
reply.

PARStephen handed over the typed sheets, pointing to the title and
signature.

PAR—Who? the editor asked.

PARBit torn off.

PAR—Mr Garrett Deasy, Stephen said.

520

PAR—That old pelters, the editor said. Who tore it? Was he short taken?

On swift sail flaming
From storm and south
He comes, pale vampire,
Mouth to my mouth.

PAR—Good day, Stephen, the professor said, coming to peer over their
shoulders. Foot and mouth? Are you turned ...?

PARBullockbefriending bard.

PAR—Good day, sir, Stephen answered blushing. The letter is not mine. Mr

530

Garrett Deasy asked me to ...

PAR—O, I know him, Myles Crawford said, and I knew his wife too. The
bloodiest old tartar God ever made. By Jesus, she had the foot and mouth
disease and no mistake! The night she threw the soup in the waiter's face in
the Star and Garter. Oho!

PARA woman brought sin into the world. For Helen, the runaway wife of
Menelaus, ten years the Greeks. O'Rourke, prince of Breffni.

PAR—Is he a widower? Stephen asked.

PAR—Ay, a grass one, Myles Crawford said, his eye running down the
typescript. Emperor's horses. Habsburg. An Irishman saved his life on the

540

ramparts of Vienna. Don't you forget! Maximilian Karl O'Donnell, graf
von Tirconnell in Ireland. Sent his heir over to make the king an Austrian
fieldmarshal now. Going to be trouble there one day. Wild geese. O yes,
every time. Don't you forget that!

PAR—The moot point is did he forget it, J. J. O'Molloy said quietly, turning a
horseshoe paperweight. Saving princes is a thankyou job.

PARProfessor MacHugh turned on him.

PAR—And if not? he said.

PAR—I'll tell you how it was, Myles Crawford began. A Hungarian it was one
day ...

550

LOST CAUSES
NOBLE MARQUESS MENTIONED

PAR—We were always loyal to lost causes, the professor said. Success for us is
the death of the intellect and of the imagination. We were never loyal to the
successful. We serve them. I teach the blatant Latin language. I speak the
tongue of a race the acme of whose mentality is the maxim: time is money.
Material domination. Domine! Lord! Where is the spirituality? Lord Jesus?
Lord Salisbury? A sofa in a westend club. But the Greek!

KYRIE ELEISON!

PARA smile of light brightened his darkrimmed eyes, lengthened his long

560

lips.

PAR—The Greek! he said again. Kyrios! Shining word! The vowels the Semite
and the Saxon know not. Kyrie! The radiance of the intellect. I ought to
profess Greek, the language of the mind. Kyrie eleison! The closetmaker
and the cloacamaker will never be lords of our spirit. We are liege subjects
of the catholic chivalry of Europe that foundered at Trafalgar and of the
empire of the spirit, not an imperium, that went under with the Athenian
fleets at Aegospotami. Yes, yes. They went under. Pyrrhus, misled by an
oracle, made a last attempt to retrieve the fortunes of Greece. Loyal to a lost
cause.

570

PARHe strode away from them towards the window.

PAR—They went forth to battle, Mr O'Madden Burke said greyly, but they
always fell.

PAR—Boohoo! Lenehan wept with a little noise. Owing to a brick received in
the latter half of the matinée. Poor, poor, poor Pyrrhus!

PARHe whispered then near Stephen's ear:

There's a ponderous pundit MacHugh
Who wears goggles of ebony hue.
As he mostly sees double

580

To wear them why trouble?
I can't see the Joe Miller. Can you?

PAR In mourning for Sallust, Mulligan says. Whose mother is beastly
dead.

PARMyles Crawford crammed the sheets into a sidepocket.

PAR—That'll be all right, he said. I'll read the rest after. That'll be all right.

PARLenehan extended his hands in protest.

PAR—But my riddle! he said. What opera is like a railwayline?

PAR—Opera? Mr O'Madden Burke's sphinx face reriddled.

PARLenehan announced gladly:

590

PAR—The Rose of Castile. See the wheeze? Rows of cast steel. Gee!

PARHe poked Mr O'Madden Burke mildly in the spleen. Mr O'Madden
Burke fell back with grace on his umbrella, feigning a gasp.

PAR—Help! he sighed. I feel a strong weakness.

PARLenehan, rising to tiptoe, fanned his face rapidly with the rustling
tissues.

PARThe professor, returning by way of the files, swept his hand across
Stephen's and Mr O'Madden Burke's loose ties.

PAR—Paris, past and present, he said. You look like communards.

PAR—Like fellows who had blown up the Bastile, J. J. O'Molloy said in quiet

600

mockery. Or was it you shot the lord lieutenant of Finland between you?
You look as though you had done the deed. General Bobrikoff.

PAR—We were only thinking about it, Stephen said.

PAR—All the talents, Myles Crawford said. Law, the classics

PAR—The turf, Lenehan put in.

PAR—Literature, the press.

PAR—If Bloom were here, the professor said. The gentle art of advertisement.

PAR—And Madam Bloom, Mr O'Madden Burke added. The vocal muse.
Dublin's prime favourite.

610

PARLenehan gave a loud cough.

PAR—Ahem! he said very softly. O, for a fresh of breath air! I caught a cold in
the park. The gate was open.

YOU CAN DO IT!

PARThe editor laid a nervous hand on Stephen's shoulder.

PAR—I want you to write something for me, he said. Something with a bite in it.
You can do it. I see it in your face. In the lexicon of youth .....

PAR See it in your face. See it in your eye. Lazy idle little schemer.

PAR—Foot and mouth disease! the editor cried in scornful invective. Great
nationalist meeting in Borris-in-Ossory. All balls! Bulldosing the public!

620

Give them something with a bite in it. Put us all into it, damn its soul.
Father, Son and Holy Ghost and Jakes M'Carthy.

PAR—We can all supply mental pabulum, Mr O'Madden Burke said.

PARStephen raised his eyes to the bold unheeding stare.

PAR—He wants you for the pressgang, J. J. O'Molloy said.

PAR—You can do it, Myles Crawford repeated, clenching his hand in emphasis.
Wait a minute. We'll paralyse Europe as Ignatius Gallaher used to say when

he was on the shaughraun, doing billiardmarking in the Clarence. Gallaher,
that was a pressman for you. That was a pen. You know how he made his

630

mark? I'll tell you. That was the smartest piece of journalism ever known.
That was in eightyone, sixth of May, time of the invincibles, murder in the
Phoenix park, before you were born, I suppose. I'll show you.

PARHe pushed past them to the files.

PAR—Look at here, he said turning. The New York World cabled for a special.
Remember that time?

PARProfessor MacHugh nodded.

PAR—New York World, the editor said, excitedly pushing back his straw hat.
Where it took place. Tim Kelly, or Kavanagh I mean. Joe Brady and the
rest of them. Where Skin-the-Goat drove the car. Whole route, see?

640

PAR—Skin-the-Goat, Mr O'Madden Burke said. Fitzharris. He has that
cabman's shelter, they say, down there at Butt bridge. Holohan told me.
You know Holohan?

PAR—Hop and carry one, is it? Myles Crawford said.

PAR—And poor Gumley is down there too, so he told me, minding stones for
the corporation. A night watchman.

PARStephen turned in surprise.

PAR—Gumley? he said. You don't say so? A friend of my father's, is it?

PAR—Never mind Gumley, Myles Crawford cried angrily. Let Gumley mind
the stones, see they don't run away. Look at here. What did Ignatius

650

Gallaher do? I'll tell you. Inspiration of genius. Cabled right away. Have
you Weekly Freeman of 17 March? Right. Have you got that?

PARHe flung back pages of the files and stuck his finger on a point.

PAR—Take page four, advertisement for Bransome's coffee, let us say. Have
you got that? Right.

PARThe telephone whirred.

A DISTANT VOICE

PAR—I'll answer it, the professor said, going.

PAR—B is parkgate. Good.

PARHis finger leaped and struck point after point, vibrating.

660

PAR—T is viceregal lodge. C is where murder took place. K is Knockmaroon
gate.

PARThe loose flesh of his neck shook like a cock's wattles. An illstarched
dicky jutted up and with a rude gesture he thrust it back into his waistcoat.

PAR—Hello? Evening Telegraph here. Hello?... Who's there?... Yes... Yes....
Yes.

PAR—F to P is the route Skin-the-Goat drove the car for an alibi, Inchicore,
Roundtown, Windy Arbour, Palmerston Park, Ranelagh. F. A. B. P. Got
that? X is Davy's publichouse in upper Leeson street.

PARThe professor came to the inner door.

670

PAR—Bloom is at the telephone, he said.

PAR—Tell him go to hell, the editor said promptly. X is Davy's publichouse,
see?

CLEVER, VERY

PAR—Clever, Lenehan said. Very.

PAR—Gave it to them on a hot plate, Myles Crawford said, the whole bloody
history.

PARNightmare from which you will never awake.

PAR—I saw it, the editor said proudly. I was present. Dick Adams, the
besthearted bloody Corkman the Lord ever put the breath of life in, and

680

myself.

PARLenehan bowed to a shape of air, announcing:

PAR—Madam, I'm Adam. And Able was I ere I saw Elba.

PAR—History! Myles Crawford cried. The Old Woman of Prince's street was
there first. There was weeping and gnashing of teeth over that. Out of an
advertisement. Gregor Grey made the design for it. That gave him the leg
up. Then Paddy Hooper worked Tay Pay who took him on to the Star.
Now he's got in with Blumenfeld. That's press. That's talent. Pyatt! He
was all their daddies!

PAR—The father of scare journalism, Lenehan confirmed, and the

690

brother-in-law of Chris Callinan.

PAR—Hello? Are you there? Yes, he's here still. Come across yourself.

PAR—Where do you find a pressman like that now, eh? the editor cried.

PARHe flung the pages down.

PAR—Clamn dever, Lenehan said to Mr O'Madden Burke.

PAR—Very smart, Mr O'Madden Burke said.

PARProfessor MacHugh came from the inner office.

PAR—Talking about the invincibles, he said, did you see that some hawkers
were up before the recorder

PAR—O yes, J. J. O'Molloy said eagerly. Lady Dudley was walking home

700

through the park to see all the trees that were blown down by that cyclone
last year and thought she'd buy a view of Dublin. And it turned out to be a
commemoration postcard of Joe Brady or Number One or Skin-the-Goat.
Right outside the viceregal lodge, imagine!

PAR—They're only in the hook and eye department, Myles Crawford said.
Psha! Press and the bar! Where have you a man now at the bar like those
fellows, like Whiteside, like Isaac Butt, like silvertongued O'Hagan. Eh?
Ah, bloody nonsense. Psha! Only in the halfpenny place.

PARHis mouth continued to twitch unspeaking in nervous curls of
disdain.

710

PARWould anyone wish that mouth for her kiss? How do you know?
Why did you write it then?

RHYMES AND REASONS

PAR—Speak up for yourself, Mr O'Madden Burke said.

PAR—My dear Myles, he said, flinging his cigarette aside, you put a false
construction on my words. I hold no brief, as at present advised, for the
third profession qua profession but your Cork legs are running away with

730

you. Why not bring in Henry Grattan and Flood and Demosthenes and
Edmund Burke? Ignatius Gallaher we all know and his Chapelizod boss,
Harmsworth of the farthing press, and his American cousin of the Bowery
guttersheet not to mention Paddy Kelly's Budget, Pue's Occurrences and our
watchful friend The Skibbereen Eagle. Why bring in a master of forensic
eloquence like Whiteside? Sufficient for the day is the newspaper thereof.

LINKS WITH BYGONE DAYS OF YORE

PAR—Grattan and Flood wrote for this very paper, the editor cried in his face.
Irish volunteers. Where are you now? Established 1763. Dr Lucas. Who
have you now like John Philpot Curran? Psha!

740

PAR—Well, J. J. O'Molloy said, Bushe K. C., for example.

PAR—Bushe? the editor said. Well, yes: Bushe, yes. He has a strain of it in his
blood. Kendal Bushe or I mean Seymour Bushe.

PAR—He would have been on the bench long ago, the professor said, only
for .... But no matter.

PARJ. J. O'Molloy turned to Stephen and said quietly and slowly:

PAR—One of the most polished periods I think I ever listened to in my life fell
from the lips of Seymour Bushe. It was in that case of fratricide, the Childs
murder case. Bushe defended him.

PAR—What was that? the professor asked.

PAR—He spoke on the law of evidence, J. J. O'Molloy said, of Roman justice as
contrasted with the earlier Mosaic code, the lex talionis. And he cited the
Moses of Michelangelo in the Vatican.

PAR—Ha.

PAR—A few wellchosen words, Lenehan prefaced. Silence!

PARPause. J. J. O'Molloy took out his cigarettecase.

760

PARFalse lull. Something quite ordinary.

PARMessenger took out his matchbox thoughtfully and lit his cigar.

PARI have often thought since on looking back over that strange time that
it was that small act, trivial in itself, that striking of that match, that
determined the whole aftercourse of both our lives.

PARJ. J. O'Molloy resumed, moulding his words:

PAR—He said of it: that stony effigy in frozen music, horned and terrible, of the
human form divine, that eternal symbol of wisdom and of prophecy which,
if aught that the imagination or the hand of sculptor has wrought in marble

770

of soultransfigured and of soultransfiguring deserves to live, deserves to live.

PARHis slim hand with a wave graced echo and fall.

PAR—Fine! Myles Crawford said at once.

PAR—The divine afflatus, Mr O'Madden Burke said.

PAR—You like it? J. J. O'Molloy asked Stephen.

PARStephen, his blood wooed by grace of language and gesture, blushed.
He took a cigarette from the case. J. J. O'Molloy offered his case to Myles
Crawford. Lenehan lit their cigarettes as before and took his trophy,
saying:

PAR—Muchibus thankibus.

780

A MAN OF HIGH MORALE

PAR—Professor Magennis was speaking to me about you, J. J. O'Molloy said to
Stephen. What do you think really of that hermetic crowd, the opal hush
poets: A. E. the mastermystic? That Blavatsky woman started it. She was a
nice old bag of tricks. A. E. has been telling some yankee interviewer that
you came to him in the small hours of the morning to ask him about planes
of consciousness. Magennis thinks you must have been pulling A. E.'s leg.
He is a man of the very highest morale, Magennis.

PARSpeaking about me. What did he say? What did he say? What did he
say about me? Don't ask.

790

PAR—No, thanks, professor MacHugh said, waving the cigarettecase aside.
Wait a moment. Let me say one thing. The finest display of oratory I ever
heard was a speech made by John F Taylor at the college historical society.
Mr Justice Fitzgibbon, the present lord justice of appeal, had spoken and
the paper under debate was an essay (new for those days), advocating the
revival of the Irish tongue.

PARHe turned towards Myles Crawford and said:

PAR—You know Gerald Fitzgibbon. Then you can imagine the style of his
discourse.

PAR—He is sitting with Tim Healy, J. J. O'Molloy said, rumour has it, on the

800

Trinity college estates commission.

PAR—He is sitting with a sweet thing, Myles Crawford said, in a child's frock.
Go on. Well?

PAR—It was the speech, mark you, the professor said, of a finished orator, full
of courteous haughtiness and pouring in chastened diction I will not say the
vials of his wrath but pouring the proud man's contumely upon the new
movement. It was then a new movement. We were weak, therefore
worthless.

PARHe closed his long thin lips an instant but, eager to be on, raised an
outspanned hand to his spectacles and, with trembling thumb and

810

ringfinger touching lightly the black rims, steadied them to a new focus.

PAR—Taylor had come there, you must know, from a sickbed. That he had
prepared his speech I do not believe for there was not even one
shorthandwriter in the hall. His dark lean face had a growth of shaggy
beard round it. He wore a loose white silk neckcloth and altogether he
looked (though he was not) a dying man.

PARHis gaze turned at once but slowly from J. J. O'Molloy's towards
Stephen's face and then bent at once to the ground, seeking. His unglazed

820

linen collar appeared behind his bent head, soiled by his withering hair. Still
seeking, he said:

PAR—When Fitzgibbon's speech had ended John F Taylor rose to reply. Briefly,
as well as I can bring them to mind, his words were these.

PARHe raised his head firmly. His eyes bethought themselves once more.
Witless shellfish swam in the gross lenses to and fro, seeking outlet.

PARHe began:

PAR—Mr chairman, ladies and gentlemen: Great was my admiration in listening
to the remarks addressed to the youth of Ireland a moment since by my
learned friend. It seemed to me that I had been transported into a country far

830

away from this country, into an age remote from this age, that I stood in
ancient Egypt and that I was listening to the speech of some highpriest of that
land addressed to the youthful Moses.

PARHis listeners held their cigarettes poised to hear, their smokes
ascending in frail stalks that flowered with his speech. And let our crooked
smokes. Noble words coming. Look out. Could you try your hand at it
yourself?

PAR—And it seemed to me that I heard the voice of that Egyptian highpriest
raised in a tone of like haughtiness and like pride. I heard his words and their
meaning was revealed to me.

840

FROM THE FATHERS

PARIt was revealed to me that those things are good which yet are
corrupted which neither if they were supremely good nor unless they were
good could be corrupted. Ah, curse you! That's saint Augustine.

PAR—Why will you jews not accept our culture, our religion and our language?
You are a tribe of nomad herdsmen: we are a mighty people. You have no
cities nor no wealth: our cities are hives of humanity and our galleys, trireme
and quadrireme, laden with all manner merchandise furrow the waters of the
known globe. You have but emerged from primitive conditions: we have a
literature, a priesthood, an agelong history and a polity.

850

PARNile.

PARChild, man, effigy.

PARBy the Nilebank the babemaries kneel, cradle of bulrushes: a man
supple in combat: stonehorned, stonebearded, heart of stone.

PAR—You pray to a local and obscure idol: our temples, majestic and mysterious,
are the abodes of Isis and Osiris, of Horus and Ammon Ra. Yours serfdom,
awe and humbleness: ours thunder and the seas. Israel is weak and few are
her children: Egypt is an host and terrible are her arms. Vagrants and
daylabourers are you called: the world trembles at our name.

PARA dumb belch of hunger cleft his speech. He lifted his voice above it

860

boldly:

PAR—But, ladies and gentlemen, had the youthful Moses listened to and accepted
that view of life, had he bowed his head and bowed his will and bowed his
spirit before that arrogant admonition he would never have brought the
chosen people out of their house of bondage, nor followed the pillar of the
cloud by day. He would never have spoken with the Eternal amid lightnings
on Sinai's mountaintop nor ever have come down with the light of
inspiration shining in his countenance and bearing in his arms the tables of
the law, graven in the language of the outlaw.

PARHe ceased and looked at them, enjoying a silence.

870

OMINOUS - FOR HIM!

PARJ. J. O'Molloy said not without regret:

PAR—And yet he died without having entered the land of promise.

PAR—A sudden - at - the - moment - though - from - lingering - illness - often -
previously - expectorated - demise, Lenehan added. And with a great future
behind him.

PARThe troop of bare feet was heard rushing along the hallway and
pattering up the staircase.

PAR—That is oratory, the professor said uncontradicted.

PARGone with the wind. Hosts at Mullaghmast and Tara of the kings.

880

Miles of ears of porches. The tribune's words, howled and scattered to the
four winds. A people sheltered within his voice. Dead noise. Akasic records
of all that ever anywhere wherever was. Love and laud him: me no more.

PARI have money.

PAR—Gentlemen, Stephen said. As the next motion on the agenda paper may I
suggest that the house do now adjourn?

PAR—You take my breath away. It is not perchance a French compliment? Mr
O'Madden Burke asked. 'Tis the hour, methinks, when the winejug,
metaphorically speaking, is most grateful in Ye ancient hostelry.

PAR—That it be and hereby is resolutely resolved. All that are in favour say ay,

890

Lenehan announced. The contrary no. I declare it carried. To which
particular boosingshed ...? My casting vote is: Mooney's!

PARHe led the way, admonishing:

PAR—We will sternly refuse to partake of strong waters, will we not? Yes, we
will not. By no manner of means.

PARMr O'Madden Burke, following close, said with an ally's lunge of his
umbrella:

PAR—Lay on, Macduff!

PAR—Chip of the old block! the editor cried, clapping Stephen on the shoulder.
Let us go. Where are those blasted keys?

900

PARHe fumbled in his pocket pulling out the crushed typesheets.

PAR—Foot and mouth. I know. That'll be all right. That'll go in. Where are
they? That's all right.

PARHe thrust the sheets back and went into the inner office.

PAR —I hope you will live to see it published. Myles, one moment.

PARHe went into the inner office, closing the door behind him.

PAR—Come along, Stephen, the professor said. That is fine, isn't it? It has the
prophetic vision. Fuit Ilium! The sack of windy Troy. Kingdoms of this

910

world. The masters of the Mediterranean are fellaheen today.  

PARThe first newsboy came pattering down the stairs at their heels and
rushed out into the street, yelling:

PAR—Racing special!

PARDublin. I have much, much to learn.

PARThey turned to the left along Abbey street.

PAR—I have a vision too, Stephen said.

PAR—Yes? the professor said, skipping to get into step. Crawford will follow.

PARAnother newsboy shot past them, yelling as he ran:

PAR—Racing special!

920

DEAR DIRTY DUBLIN

PARDubliners.

PAR—Two Dublin vestals, Stephen said, elderly and pious, have lived fifty and
fiftythree years in Fumbally's lane.

PAR—Where is that? the professor asked.

PAR—Off Blackpitts, Stephen said.

PARDamp night reeking of hungry dough. Against the wall. Face
glistering tallow under her fustian shawl. Frantic hearts. Akasic records.
Quicker, darlint!

PAROn now. Dare it. Let there be life.

930

PAR—They want to see the views of Dublin from the top of Nelson's pillar.
They save up three and tenpence in a red tin letterbox moneybox. They
shake out the threepenny bits and sixpences and coax out the pennies with
the blade of a knife. Two and three in silver and one and seven in coppers.
They put on their bonnets and best clothes and take their umbrellas for fear
it may come on to rain.

PAR—Wise virgins, professor MacHugh said.

PAR—They buy one and fourpenceworth of brawn and four slices of panloaf at
the north city diningrooms in Marlborough street from Miss Kate Collins,

940

proprietress. They purchase four and twenty ripe plums from a girl at the
foot of Nelson's pillar to take off the thirst of the brawn. They give two
threepenny bits to the gentleman at the turnstile and begin to waddle slowly
up the winding staircase, grunting, encouraging each other, afraid of the
dark, panting, one asking the other have you the brawn, praising God and
the Blessed Virgin, threatening to come down, peeping at the airslits. Glory
be to God. They had no idea it was that high.

PARTheir names are Anne Kearns and Florence MacCabe. Anne Kearns
has the lumbago for which she rubs on Lourdes water, given her by a lady
who got a bottleful from a passionist father. Florence MacCabe takes a

950

crubeen and a bottle of double X for supper every Saturday.

PAR—Antithesis, the professor said nodding twice. Vestal virgins. I can see
them. What's keeping our friend?

PARHe turned.

PARA bevy of scampering newsboys rushed down the steps, scattering in
all directions, yelling, their white papers fluttering. Hard after them Myles
Crawford appeared on the steps, his hat aureoling his scarlet face, talking
with J. J. O'Molloy.

PAR—Come along, the professor cried, waving his arm.

PARHe set off again to walk by Stephen's side.

960

PAR—Yes, he said. I see them.

RETURN OF BLOOM

PARMr Bloom, breathless, caught in a whirl of wild newsboys near the
offices of the Irish Catholic and Dublin Penny Journal, called:

PAR—Mr Crawford! A moment!

PAR—Telegraph! Racing special!

PAR—What is it? Myles Crawford said, falling back a pace.

PARA newsboy cried in Mr Bloom's face:

PAR—Terrible tragedy in Rathmines! A child bit by a bellows!

INTERVIEW WITH THE EDITOR

970

PAR—Just this ad, Mr Bloom said, pushing through towards the steps, puffing,
and taking the cutting from his pocket. I spoke with Mr Keyes just now.
He'll give a renewal for two months, he says. After he'll see. But he wants a
par to call attention in the Telegraph too, the Saturday pink. And he wants
it copied if it's not too late I told councillor Nannetti from the Kilkenny
People. I can have access to it in the national library. House of keys, don't
you see? His name is Keyes. It's a play on the name. But he practically
promised he'd give the renewal. But he wants just a little puff. What will I
tell him, Mr Crawford?

K.M. A.

980

PAR—Will you tell him he can kiss my arse? Myles Crawford said throwing out
his arm for emphasis. Tell him that straight from the stable.

PARA bit nervy. Look out for squalls. All off for a drink. Arm in arm.
Lenehan's yachting cap on the cadge beyond. Usual blarney. Wonder is
that young Dedalus the moving spirit. Has a good pair of boots on him
today. Last time I saw him he had his heels on view. Been walking in muck
somewhere. Careless chap. What was he doing in Irishtown?

PAR—Well, Mr Bloom said, his eyes returning, if I can get the design I suppose
it's worth a short par. He'd give the ad, I think. I'll tell him...

K. M. R. I. A.

990

PAR—He can kiss my royal Irish arse, Myles Crawford cried loudly over his
shoulder. Any time he likes, tell him.

PARWhile Mr Bloom stood weighing the point and about to smile he
strode on jerkily.

PAR—Nulla bona, Jack, he said, raising his hand to his chin. I'm up to here.
I've been through the hoop myself. I was looking for a fellow to back a bill
for me no later than last week. Sorry, Jack. You must take the will for the
deed. With a heart and a half if I could raise the wind anyhow.

PARJ. J. O'Molloy pulled a long face and walked on silently. They caught

1000

up on the others and walked abreast.

PAR—When they have eaten the brawn and the bread and wiped their twenty
fingers in the paper the bread was wrapped in they go nearer to the railings.

PAR—Something for you, the professor explained to Myles Crawford. Two old
Dublin women on the top of Nelson's pillar.

SOME COLUMN! - THAT'S WHAT WADDLER
ONE SAID

PAR—That's new, Myles Crawford said. That's copy. Out for the waxies
Dargle. Two old trickies, what?

PAR—But they are afraid the pillar will fall, Stephen went on. They see the roofs

1010

and argue about where the different churches are: Rathmines' blue dome,
Adam and Eve's, saint Laurence O'Toole's. But it makes them giddy to look
so they pull up their skirts ....

THOSE SLIGHTLY RAMBUNCTIOUS FEMALES

PAR—Easy all, Myles Crawford said. No poetic licence. We're in the
archdiocese here.

PAR—And settle down on their striped petticoats, peering up at the statue of the
onehandled adulterer.

PAR—Onehandled adulterer! the professor cried. I like that. I see the idea. I see
what you mean.

1020

DAMES DONATE DUBLIN'S CITS
SPEEDPILLS VELOCITOUS AEROLITHS, BELIEF

PAR—It gives them a crick in their necks, Stephen said, and they are too tired to
look up or down or to speak. They put the bag of plums between them and

eat the plums out of it, one after another, wiping off with their
handkerchiefs the plumjuice that dribbles out of their mouths and spitting
the plumstones slowly out between the railings.

PARHe gave a sudden loud young laugh as a close. Lenehan and Mr
O'Madden Burke, hearing, turned, beckoned and led on across towards
Mooney's.

1030

PAR—Finished? Myles Crawford said. So long as they do no worse.

SOPHIST WALLOPS HAUGHTY HELEN SQUARE
ON PROBOSCIS. SPARTANS GNASH MOLARS.
ITHACANS VOW PEN IS CHAMP.

PAR—You remind me of Antisthenes, the professor said, a disciple of Gorgias,
the sophist. It is said of him that none could tell if he were bitterer against
others or against himself. He was the son of a noble and a bondwoman.
And he wrote a book in which he took away the palm of beauty from
Argive Helen and handed it to poor Penelope.

PARPoor Penelope. Penelope Rich.

1040

PARThey made ready to cross O'Connell street.

PAR—But what do you call it? Myles Crawford asked. Where did they get the
plums?

VIRGILIAN, SAYS PEDAGOGUE. SOPHOMORE
PLUMPS FOR OLD MAN MOSES.

PAR—Call it, wait, the professor said, opening his long lips wide to reflect. Call
it, let me see. Call it: Deus nobis haec otia fecit.

PAR—No, Stephen said. I call it A Pisgah Sight of Palestine or The Parable of
The Plums.

PAR—I see, the professor said.

PARHe laughed richly.

1060

PAR—I see, he said again with new pleasure. Moses and the promised land. We
gave him that idea, he added to J. J. O'Molloy.

PAR—I see, the professor said.

PARHe halted on sir John Gray's pavement island and peered aloft at
Nelson through the meshes of his wry smile.

PAR—Onehandled adulterer, he said smiling grimly. That tickles me, I must
say.

PAR—Tickled the old ones too, Myles Crawford said, if the God Almighty's
truth was known.