will-o'-the-wisps and danger signals. Rows of grimy houses with gaping doors. Rare lamps with faint rainbow fins. Round Rabaiotti's halted ice gondola stunted men and women squabble. They grab wafers between which are wedged lumps of coral and copper snow. Sucking, they scatter slowly, children. The swancomb of the gondola, highreared, forges on through the murk, white and blue under a lighthouse. Whistles call and answer.)
THE ANSWER Round behind the stable. (A deafmute idiot with goggle eyes, his shapeless mouth dribbling, THE CHILDREN Kithogue! Salute! THE IDIOT (lifts a palsied left arm and gurgles) Ghahute!
Where's the great light? THE IDIOT (gobbling) Ghaghahest. (They release him. He jerks on. A pigmy woman swings on a rope
a rubbishtip crouches to shoulder a sack of rags and bones. A crone standing by with a smoky oillamp rams her last bottle in the maw of
hobbles off mutely. The crone makes back for her lair, swaying her lamp. A bandy child, asquat on the doorstep with a paper shuttlecock, crawls sidling after her in spurts, clutches her skirt, scrambles up. A drunken navvy grips with both hands the railings of an area, lurching heavily. At a comer two night watch in shouldercapes, their hands upon their staffholsters, loom tall. A plate crashes: a woman screams: a child wails. Oaths of a man roar, mutter, cease. Figures wander, lurk, peer from warrens. In a room lit by a candle stuck in a bottleneck a slut combs out the tatts
young, sings shrill from a lane.) CISSY CAFFREY I gave it to Molly (Private Carr and Private Compton, swaggersticks tight in their THE VIRAGO Signs on you, hairy arse. More power the Cavan girl. CISSY CAFFREY More luck to me. Cavan, Cootehill and Belturbet. (she sings) I gave it to Nelly | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
. (Private Carr and Private Compton turn and counterretort, their PRIVATE COMPTON (jerks his finger) Way for the parson. PRIVATE CARR (turns and calls) What ho, parson! . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . CISSY CAFFREY (her voice soaring higher)
The leg of the duck. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
.
the introit for paschal time. Lynch, his jockeycap low on his brow, attends him, a sneer of discontent wrinkling his face.) STEPHEN | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . (The famished snaggletusks of an elderly bawd protrude from a THE BAWD
inside. Sst! . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . STEPHEN | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . THE BAWD (spits in their trail her jet of venom) Trinity medicals. Fallopian
tube. All (Edy Boardman, sniffling, crouched with Bertha Supple, draws her EDY BOARDMAN
squarepusher, the greaser off the railway, in his cometobed hat. Did you, says I. That's not for you to say, says I. You never seen me in the mantrap with a married highlander, says I. The likes of her! Stag that one is! Stubborn as a mule! And her walking with two fellows the one time, Kilbride, the enginedriver, and lancecorporal Oliphant. . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . STEPHEN (triumphaliter) Salvi facti sunt. (He flourishes his ashplant, shivering the lamp image, shattering LYNCH So that? STEPHEN (looks behind) So that gesture, not music not odour, would be
a universal LYNCH Pornosophical philotheology. Metaphysics in Mecklenburgh street! STEPHEN
allwisest Stagyrite was bitted, bridled and mounted by a light of love. LYNCH Ba! STEPHEN Anyway, who wants two gestures to illustrate a loaf and a jug? This LYNCH Damn your yellow stick. Where are we going?
Lecherous lynx, to la belle dame sans merci, Georgina Johnson,
ad deam qui (Stephen thrusts the ashplant on him and slowly holds out his LYNCH Which is the jug of bread? It skills not. That or the customhouse. Illustrate
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
.
clasps to climb. The navvy lurches against the lamp. The twins scuttle off in the dark. The navvy, swaying, presses a forefinger against a wing of his nose and ejects from the farther nostril a long liquid jet of snot. Shouldering the lamp he staggers away through the crowd with his flaring cresset. Snakes of river fog creep slowly. From drains, clefts, cesspools, middens arise on all sides stagnant fumes. A glow leaps in the south beyond the seaward reaches of the river. The navvy, staggering
. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
.
panting, cramming bread and chocolate into a sidepocket. From Gillen's hairdresser's window a composite portrait shows him gallant Nelson 's image. A concave mirror at the side presents to him lovelorn longlost lugubru Booloohoom. Grave Gladstone sees him level, Bloom for Bloom. He passes, struck by the stare of truculent Wellington, but in the convex mirror grin unstruck the bonham eyes and fatchuck cheekchops of jollypoldy the rixdix doldy. At Antonio Rabaiotti's door Bloom halts, sweated under the bright
on.) BLOOM (He disappears into Olhausen's, the porkbutcher's, under the
Stitch in my side. Why did I run? (He takes breath with care and goes forward slowly towards the BLOOM What is that? A flasher? Searchlight. (He stands at Cormack's corner, watching) BLOOM
anyhow. Big blaze. Might be his house. Beggar's bush. We're safe. (he hums cheerfully) London's burning, London's burning! On fire, on fire! (he catches sight of the navvy lurching through the crowd at the farther side of Talbot street) I'll miss him. Run. Quick. Better cross here. (He darts to cross the road. Urchins shout.) THE URCHINS Mind out, mister! (Two cyclists, with lighted paper lanterns aswing, swim by him, | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
.
Haltyaltyaltyall. . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . BLOOM (halts erect, stung by a spasm) Ow! (He looks round, darts forward suddenly. Through rising fog a | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . THE GONG Bang Bang Bla Bak Blud Bugg Bloo. . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
.
whitegloved hand, blunders stifflegged out of the track. The motorman, thrown forward, pugnosed, on the guidewheel, yells as he slides past over chains and keys.) THE MOTORMAN Hey, shitbreeches, are you doing the hat trick? (Bloom trickleaps to the curbstone and halts again. He brushes a
BLOOM No thoroughfare. Close shave that but cured the stitch. Must take up
accident too. The Providential. (he feels his trouser pocket) Poor mamma's panacea. Heel easily catch in track or bootlace in a cog. Day the wheel of the black Maria peeled off my shoe at Leonard's corner. Third time is the charm. Shoe trick. Insolent driver. I ought to report him. Tension makes them nervous. Might be the fellow balked me this morning with that horsey woman. Same style of beauty. Quick of him all the same. The stiff walk. True word spoken in jest. That awful cramp in Lad lane. Something poisonous I ate. Emblem of luck. Why? Probably lost cattle. Mark of the beast. (he closes his eyes an instant) Bit light in the head.
for me now. Ow! . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . (A sinister figure leans on plaited legs against O'Beirne's wall,
a BLOOM Buenas noches, senorita Blanca. Que calle es esta? THE FIGURE (impassive, raises a signal arm) Password. Sraid Mabbot. BLOOM
by that fireeater. . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . (He steps forward. A sackshouldered ragman bars his path. He BLOOM I beg. (He leaps right, sackragman right.) BLOOM I beg. (He swerves, sidles, stepaside, slips past and on.)
Keep to the right, right, right. If there is a signpost planted by the
Touring | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . (Jacky Caffrey, hunted by Tommy Caffrey, runs full tilt against | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . BLOOM
(Shocked, on weak hams, he halts. Tommy and Jacky vanish BLOOM Beware of pickpockets. Old thieves' dodge. Collide. Then snatch your (The retriever approaches sniffing, nose to the ground. . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
.
caftan of an elder in Zion and a smokingcap with magenta tassels.
poison streaks are on the drawn face.) RUDOLPH Second halfcrown waste money today. I told you not go with drunken goy BLOOM (hides the crubeen and trotter behind his back and, crestfallen,
feels warm RUDOLPH What you making down this place? Have you no soul? (with feeble vulture
BLOOM (with precaution) I suppose so, father. Mosenthal. All that's left of him. RUDOLPH (severely) One night they bring you home drunk as dog after spend
your BLOOM (in youth's smart blue Oxford suit with white vestslips, narrowshouldered, RUDOLPH Once! Mud head to foot. Cut your hand open. Lockjaw. They make you BLOOM (weakly) They challenged me to a sprint. It was muddy. I slipped. RUDOLPH (with contempt) Goim nachez! Nice spectacles for your poor mother!
Mamma! ELLEN BLOOM (in pantomime dame's stringed mobcap, widow Twankey's crinoline and
(Bloom, mumbling, his eyes downcast, begins to bestow his parcels A VOICE (sharply) Poldy! BLOOM Who? (he ducks and wards off a blow clumsily) At your service. (He looks up. Beside her mirage of datepalms a handsome woman BLOOM Molly! MARION Welly? Mrs Marion from this out, my dear man, when you speak to me. BLOOM (shifts from foot to foot) No, no. Not the least little bit. (He breathes in deep agitation, swallowing gulps of air, questions, MARION Nebrakada! Femininum! (The camel, lifting a foreleg, plucks from a tree a large mango fruit, BLOOM I can give you ... I mean as your business menagerer .. Mrs Marion .....
if MARION So you notice some change? (her hands passing slowly over her trinketed
I was just going back for that lotion whitewax, orangeflower water.
Shop (He points to the south, then to the east. A cake of new clean lemon THE SOAP We're a capital couple are Bloom and I. (The freckled face of Sweny, the druggist, appears in the disc of
the SWENY Three and a penny, please. BLOOM Yes. For my wife. Mrs Marion. Special recipe. MARION (softly) Poldy! BLOOM Yes, ma'am? MARION
(In disdain she saunters away, humming the duet from Don BLOOM Are you sure about that Voglio? I mean the pronunciati .... . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . (He follows, followed by the sniffing terrier . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
.
THE BAWD Ten shillings a maidenhead. Fresh thing was never touched. Fifteen.
There's
Bridie Kelly stands.)
BRIDIE Hatch street. Any good in your mind? (With a squeak she flaps her bat shawl and runs. A burly rough THE BAWD (her wolfeyes shining) He's getting his pleasure. You won't get
a virgin in
(Leering, Gerty MacDowell limps forward. She draws from behind, GERTY With all my worldly goods I thee and thou. (she murmurs) You
did that. I BLOOM l? When? You're dreaming. I never saw you. THE BAWD Leave the gentleman alone, you cheat. Writing the gentleman false letters.
the bedpost, hussy like you. GERTY (to Bloom) When you saw all the secrets of my bottom drawer.
(she paws (She glides away crookedly. Mrs Breen in man's frieze overcoat MRS BREEN Mr ...
(coughs gravely) Madam, when we last had this pleasure by letter
dated
MRS BREEN Mr Bloom! You down here in the haunts of sin! I caught you nicely! BLOOM (hurriedly) Not so loud my name. Whatever do you think of me?
Don't
Rescue of fallen women. Magdalen asylum. I am the secretary ..... MRS BREEN (holds up a finger) Now, don't tell a big fib! I know somebody
won't like BLOOM (looks behind) She often said she'd like to visit. Slumming.
The exotic, you
(Tom and Sam Bohee, coloured coons in white duck suits, scarlet TOM AND SAM (They whisk black masks from raw babby faces: then, chuckling, BLOOM (with a sour tenderish smile) A little frivol, shall we, if you
are so inclined?
(screams gaily) O, you ruck! You ought to see yourself! BLOOM For old sake' sake. I only meant a square party, a mixed marriage mingling MRS BREEN Glory Alice, you do look a holy show! Killing simply. (she puts out
her
(seizes her wrist with his free hand) Josie Powell that was,
prettiest deb in MRS BREEN You were the lion of the night with your seriocomic recitation and you BLOOM
badge in his buttonhole, black bow and mother-of-pearl studs, a prismatic champagne glass tilted in his hand) Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Ireland, home and beauty. MRS BREEN The dear dead days beyond recall. Love's old sweet song. BLOOM (meaningfully dropping his voice) I confess I'm teapot with curiosity
to MRS BREEN
all over me! (she rubs sides with him) After the parlour mystery games and the crackers from the tree we sat on the staircase ottoman. Under the mistletoe. Two is company. BLOOM (wearing a purple Napoleon hat with an amber halfmoon, his fingers
and
(in a onepiece evening frock executed in moonlight blue, a tinsel
sylph's BLOOM When you made your present choice they said it was beauty and the beast.
I (Denis Breen, whitetallhatted, with Wisdom Hely's sandwich- ALF BERGAN (points jeering at the sandwichboards) U. p: up. MRS BREEN (to Bloom) High jinks below stairs. (she gives him the glad
eye) Why BLOOM
MRS BREEN (her pulpy tongue between her lips, offers a pigeon kiss) Hnhn.
The BLOOM (offhandedly) Kosher. A snack for supper. The home without potted
meat (Richie Goulding, three ladies' hats pinned on his head, appears RICHIE Best value in Dub. (Bald Pat, bothered beetle, stands on the curbstone, folding his PAT (advances with a tilted dish of spillspilling gravy) Steak and
kidney. Bottle
RICHIE Goodgod. Inev erate inall .... (With hanging head he marches doggedly forward The navvy, RICHIE (with a cry of pain, his hand to his back) Ah! Bright's! Lights! BLOOM (points to the navvy) A spy. Don't attract attention. I hate
stupid crowds. I
Humbugging and deluthering as per usual with your cock and bull story. BLOOM I want to tell you a little secret about how I came to be here. But
you must MRS BREEN (all agog) O, not for worlds. BLOOM Let's walk on. Shall us?
MRS BREEN
(The bawd makes an unheeded sign. Bloom walks on with Mrs THE BAWD Jewman's melt! BLOOM (in an oatmeal sporting suit, a sprig of woodbine in the lapel, tony
buff
together to Fairyhouse races, was it? MRS BREEN (in smart Saxe tailormade, white velours hat and spider veil)
Leopards- BLOOM I mean, Leopardstown. And Molly won seven shillings on a three year
old
eleven, a bit of wire and an old rag of velveteen, and I'll lay you what you like she did it on purpose .... MRS BREEN She did, of course, the cat! Don't tell me! Nice adviser! BLOOM Because it didn't suit you one quarter as well as the other ducky little
MRS BREEN (squeezes his arm, simpers) Naughty cruel I was!
BLOOM (low, secretly, ever more rapidly) And Molly was eating a sandwich
of MRS BREEN Too .... BLOOM
mimicking a cock as we passed a farmhouse and Marcus Tertius Moses, the tea merchant, drove past us in a gig with his daughter, Dancer Moses was her name, and the poodle in her lap bridled up and you asked me if I ever heard or read or knew or came across .... MRS BREEN (eagerly) Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . (She fades from his side. Followed by the whining dog he walks on =|BREa|= | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
.
with raucous humour. An armless pair of them flop wrestling, growling, in maimed sodden playfight.) THE GAFFER (crouches, his voice twisted in his snout) And when Cairns came
down THE LOITERERS (guffaw with cleft palates) O jays! . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . BLOOM Coincidence too. They think it funny. Anything but that. Broad daylight. . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . THE LOITERERS Jays, that's a good one. Glauber salts. O jays, into the men's porter. (Bloom passes. Cheap whores, singly, coupled, shawled, dishevelled, THE WHORES
How's your middle leg? Got a match on you? Eh, come here till I stiffen it for you. (He plodges through their sump towards the lighted street beyond. THE NAVVY (belching) Where's the bloody house?
Purdon street. Shilling a bottle of stout. Respectable woman. THE NAVVY (gripping the two redcoats, staggers forward with them) Come
on, you PRIVATE CARR (behind his back) He aint half balmy. PRIVATE COMPTON (laughs) What ho! PRIVATE CARR
THE NAVVY (shouts) We are the boys.
PRIVATE COMPTON Say! What price the sergeantmajor? PRIVATE CARR Bennett? He's my pal. I love old Bennett. THE NAVVY
The galling chain. (He staggers forward, dragging them with him. . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
.
BLOOM Wildgoose chase this. Disorderly houses. Lord knows where they are gone.
for? Still, he's the best of that lot. If I hadn't heard about Mrs Beaufoy Purefoy I wouldn't have gone and wouldn't have met. Kismet. He'll lose that cash. Relieving office here. Good biz for cheapjacks, organs. What do ye lack? Soon got, soon gone. Might have lost my life too with that man- gongwheeltracktrolleyglarejuggernaut only for presence of mind. Can't always save you, though. If I had passed Truelock's window that day two minutes later would have been shot. Absence of body. Still if bullet only went through my coat get damages for shock, five hundred pounds. What was he? Kildare street club toff. God help his gamekeeper.
and a phallic design.) Odd! Molly drawing on the frosted carriagepane at Kingstown. What's that like? . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
.
of the sicksweet weed floats towards him in slow round ovalling wreaths.) THE WREATHS Sweet are the sweets. Sweets of sin. . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . BLOOM My spine's a bit limp. Go or turn? And this food? Eat it and get all
(The retriever drives a cold snivelling muzzle against his hand, wagging his tail.) Strange how they take to me. Even that brute today. Better speak to him first. Like women they like rencontres. Stinks like a polecat. Chacun son got. He might be mad. Dogdays. Uncertain in his movements. Good fellow! Fido! Good fellow! Garryowen! (The wolfdog sprawls on his back, wriggling obscenely with begging paws, his long black tongue lolling out.) Influence of his surroundings. Give and have done with it. Provided nobody. (Calling encouraging words he shambles back with a furtive poacher's tread, dogged by the setter into a dark stalestunk corner. He
feels the trotter.) Sizeable for threepence. But then I have it in my left hand. Calls for more effort. Why? Smaller from want of use. O, let it slide. Two and six. (With regret he lets the unrolled crubeen and trotter slide. The | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
.
THE WATCH Bloom. Of Bloom. For Bloom. Bloom.
FIRST WATCH Caught in the act. Commit no nuisance. BLOOM (stammers) I am doing good to others. (A covey of gulls, storm petrels, rises hungrily from Liffey slime THE GULLS Kaw kave kankury kake. BLOOM
(He points. Bob Doran, toppling from a high barstool, sways over BOB DORAN Towser. Give us the paw. Give the paw. (The bulldog growls, his scruff standing, a gobbet of pig's knuckle
SECOND WATCH Prevention of cruelty to animals.
(enthusiastically) A noble work! I scolded that tramdriver on
Harold's (Signor Maffei, passionpale, in liontamer's costume with diamond
SIGNOR MAFFEI
was I broke in the bucking broncho Ajax with my patent spiked saddle for carnivores. Lash under the belly with a knotted thong. Block tackle and a strangling pulley will bring your lion to heel, no matter how fractious, even Leo ferox there, the Libyan maneater. A redhot crowbar and some liniment rubbing on the burning part produced Fritz of Amsterdam, the thinking hyena. (he glares) I possess the Indian sign. The glint of my eye does it with these breastsparklers. (with a bewitching smile) I now introduce Mademoiselle Ruby, the pride of the ring. FIRST WATCH
BLOOM I have forgotten for the moment. Ah, yes! (he takes off his high
grade hat, FIRST WATCH Proof. (A card falls from inside the leather headband of Bloom's hat.) BLOOM
of the Legion of Honour, picks up the card hastily and offers it) Allow me. My club is the Junior Army and Navy. Solicitors: Messrs John Henry Menton, 27 Bachelor's Walk.
(reads) Henry Flower. No fixed abode. Unlawfully watching and SECOND WATCH An alibi. You are cautioned.
(produces from his heartpocket a crumpled yellow flower) This
is the
(A dark mercurialised face appears, leading a veiled figure.) THE DARK MERCURY The Castle is looking for him. He was drummed out of the army. MARTHA (thickveiled, a crimson halter round her neck, a copy of the Irish
Times in FIRST WATCH (sternly) Come to the station.
(scared, hats himself, steps back, then, plucking at his heart and
lifting his
medical men. By striking him dead with a hatchet. I am wrongfully accused. Better one guilty escape than ninetynine wrongfully condemned. MARTHA (sobbing behind her veil) Breach of promise. My real name is
Peggy
BLOOM (behind his hand) She's drunk. The woman is inebriated. (he
murmurs SECOND WATCH (tears in his eyes, to Bloom) You ought to be thoroughly well
ashamed of BLOOM Gentlemen of the jury, let me explain. A pure mare's nest. I am a man
the daughter of a most distinguished commander, a gallant upstanding gentleman, what do you call him, Majorgeneral Brian Tweedy, one of Britain's fighting men who helped to win our battles. Got his majority for the heroic defence of Rorke's Drift. FIRST WATCH Regiment. BLOOM (turns to the gallery) The royal Dublins, boys, the salt of the
earth, known
homes, the pluckiest lads and the finest body of men, as physique, in the service of our sovereign. A VOICE Turncoat! Up the Boers! Who booed Joe Chamberlain? BLOOM (his hand on the shoulder of the first watch) My old dad too
was a J. P.
nozzle again the bank. FIRST WATCH Profession or trade. BLOOM Well, I follow a literary occupation, author-journalist. In fact we
are just (Myles Crawford strides out jerkily, a quill between his teeth. His MYLES CRAWFORD (his cock's wattles wagging) Hello, seventyseven eightfour. Hello. (Mr Philip Beaufoy, palefaced, stands in the witnessbox, in accurate
(drawls) No, you aren't. Not by a long shot if I know it. I don't
see it
(murmurs with hangdog meekness glum) That bit about the laughing BEAUFOY (his lip upcurled, smiles superciliously on the court) You funny
ass, you!
BLOOM (indistinctly) University of life. Bad art. BEAUFOY (shouts) It's a damnably foul lie, showing the moral rottenness
of the man! A VOICE FROM THE GALLERY BLOOM (bravely) Overdrawn. BEAUFOY You low cad! You ought to be ducked in the horsepond, you rotter! (to
the BLOOM (to the court) And he, a bachelor, how...
The King versus Bloom. Call the woman Driscoll. THE CRIER Mary Driscoll, scullerymaid! (Mary Driscoll, a slipshod servant girl, approaches. She has a SECOND WATCH Another! Are you of the unfortunate class? MARY DRISCOLL (indignantly) I'm not a bad one. I bear a respectable character
and was
chances with Fridays out and I had to leave owing to his carryings on.
FIRST WATCH What do you tax him with? MARY DRISCOLL He made a certain suggestion but I thought more of myself as poor as I am. BLOOM (in housejacket of ripplecloth, flannel trousers, heelless slippers,
unshaven,
MARY DRISCOLL (excitedly) As God is looking down on me this night if ever I
laid a hand to FIRST WATCH The offence complained of? Did something happen? MARY DRISCOLL He surprised me in the rere of the premises, Your honour, when the missus
BLOOM She counterassaulted. MARY DRISCOLL (scornfully) I had more respect for the scouringbrush, so I had.
I (General laughter.) GEORGE FOTTRELL (clerk of the crown and peace, resonantly) Order in court! The
accused
begins a long unintelligible speech. They would hear what counsel had to say in his stirring address to the grand jury. He was down and out but, though branded as a black sheep, if he might say so, he meant to reform, to retrieve the memory of the past in a purely sisterly way and return to nature as a purely domestic animal. A
sevenmonths' child, he had been carefully brought up and nurtured (Renewed laughter. He mumbles incoherently. Reporters complain LONGHAND AND SHORTHAND (without looking up from their notebooks) Loosen his boots. PROFESSOR MACHUGH
(The crossexamination proceeds re Bloom and the bucket. A
large
(in barrister's grey wig and stuffgown, speaking with a voice of
pained aberration of heredity, brought on by hallucination, such familiarities as the alleged guilty occurrence being quite permitted in my client's native place, the land of the Pharaoh. Prima facie, I put it to you that there was no
complained of by Driscoll, that her virtue was solicited, was not repeated. I would deal in especial with atavism. There have been cases of shipwreck and somnambulism in my client's family. If the accused could speak he could a tale unfold - one of the strangest that have ever been narrated between the covers of a book. He himself, my lord, is a physical wreck from cobbler's weak chest. His submission is that he is of Mongolian extraction and irresponsible for his actions. Not all there, in fact. BLOOM (Barefoot, pigeonbreasted, in lascar's vest and trousers, apologetic
toes Li li poo lil chile (He is howled down.) J. J. O'MOLLOY (hotly to the populace) This is a lonehand fight. By Hades, I
will not have
and laughing hyenas. The Mosaic code has superseded the law of the jungle. I say it and I say it emphatically, without wishing for one moment to defeat the ends of justice, accused was not accessory before the act and prosecutrix has not been tampered with. The young person was treated by defendant as if she were his very own daughter. (Bloom takes J. J. O'Molloy's hand and raises it to his lips) I shall call rebutting evidence to prove up to the hilt that the hidden hand is again at its old game. When in doubt persecute Bloom. My client, an innately bashful man, would be the last man in the world to do anything ungentlemanly which injured modesty
some dastard, responsible for her condition, had worked his own sweet will on her. He wants to go straight. I regard him as the whitest man I know. He is down on his luck at present owing to the mortgaging of his extensive property at Agendath Netaim in faraway Asia Minor, slides of which will
now be shown. (to Bloom) I suggest that you will do the handsome thing.
BLOOM A penny in the pound. (The image of the lake of Kinnereth with blurred cattle cropping
in DLUGACZ (hoarsely) Bleibtreustrasse, Berlin, W. 13. (J. J. O'Molloy steps on to a low plinth and holds the lapel of his
(almost voicelessly) Excuse me. I am suffering from a severe
chill, have (A paper with something written on it is handed into court.) BLOOM
Wisdom Hely J. P. My old chief Joe Cuffe. Mr V. B. Dillon, ex lord mayor of Dublin. I have moved in the charmed circle of the highest .... Queens of Dublin society. (carelessly) I was just chatting this afternoon at the viceregal lodge to my old pals, sir Robert and lady Ball, astronomer royal at the levee. Sir Bob, I said ...... MRS YELVERTON BARRY (in lowcorsaged opal balldress and elbowlength ivory gloves, wearing
a
Tipperary on the Munster circuit, signed James Lovebirch. He said that he had seen from the gods my peerless globes as I sat in a box of the Theatre Royal at a command performance of La Cigale. I deeply inflamed him, he said. He made improper overtures to me to misconduct myself at half past four p.m. on the following Thursday, Dunsink time. He offered to send me through the post a work of fiction by Monsieur Paul de Kock, entitled The Girl with the Three Pairs of Stays. MRS BELLINGHAM (in cap and seal coney mantle, wrapped up to the nose, steps out
of her MRS YELVERTON BARRY
(A crowd of sluts and ragamuffins surges forward)
(screaming) Stop thief! Hurrah there, Bluebeard! Three cheers
for Ikey SECOND WATCH (produces handcuffs) Here are the darbies. MRS BELLINGHAM
Venus in furs and alleged profound pity for my frostbound coachman Palmer while in the same breath he expressed himself as envious of his earflaps and fleecy sheepskins and of his fortunate proximity to my person, when standing behind my chair wearing my livery and the armorial bearings of the Bellingham escutcheon garnished sable, a buck's head couped or. He lauded almost extravagantly my nether extremities, my swelling calves in silk hose drawn up to the limit, and eulogised glowingly my other hidden treasures in priceless lace which, he said, he could conjure up. He urged me (stating that he felt it his mission in life to urge me) to
opportunity.
THE HONOURABLE MRS MERVYN TALBOYS (in amazon costume, hard hat, jackboots cockspurred, vermilion waistcoat,
hackney car and sent me in double envelopes an obscene photograph, such as are sold after dark on Paris boulevards, insulting to any lady. I have it still. It represents a partially nude senorita, frail and lovely (his wife, as he solemnly assured me, taken by him from nature), practising illicit intercourse with a muscular torero, evidently a blackguard. He urged me to do likewise, to misbehave, to sin with officers of the garrison. He implored me to soil his letter in an unspeakable manner, to chastise him as he richly deserves, to bestride and ride him, to give him a most vicious horsewhipping.
Me too. MRS YELVERTON BARRY Me too. (Several highly respectable Dublin ladies hold up improper letters THE HONOURABLE MRS MERVYN TALBOYS (stamps her jingling spurs in a sudden paroxysm of fury) I will,
by the
(his eyes closing, quails expectantly) Here? (he squirms)
Again! (he pants THE HONOURABLE MRS MERVYN TALBOYS Very much so! I'll make it hot for you. I'll make you dance Jack Latten
for MRS BELLINGHAM Tan his breech well, the upstart! Write the stars and stripes on it! MRS YELVERTON BARRY Disgraceful! There's no excuse for him! A married man! BLOOM
without effusion. Refined birching to stimulate the circulation. THE HONOURABLE MRS MERVYN TALBOYS (laughs derisively) O, did you, my fine fellow? Well, by the
living God, MRS BELLINGHAM (shakes her muff and quizzing-glasses vindictively) Make him
smart,
BLOOM (shuddering, shrinking, joins his hands: with hangdog mien) O
cold! O MRS YELVERTON BARRY (severely) Don't do so on any account, Mrs Talboys! He should
be THE HONOURABLE MRS MERVYN TALBOYS (unbuttoning her gauntlet violently) I'll do no such thing. Pigdog
and
black and blue in the public streets. I'll dig my spurs in him up to the rowel. He is a wellknown cuckold. (she swishes her huntingcrop savagely in the air) Take down his trousers without loss of time. Come here, sir! Quick! Ready? BLOOM (trembling, beginning to obey) The weather has been so warm. (Davy Stephens, ringletted, passes with a bevy of barefoot
DAVY STEPHEN S
Day supplement. Containing the new addresses of all the cuckolds in Dublin. (The very reverend Canon O'Hanlon in cloth of gold cope elevates THE TIMEPIECE (unportalling)
(The brass quoits of a bed are heard to jingle.) THE QUOITS Jigjag. Jigajiga. Jigjag. (A panel of fog rolls back rapidly, revealing rapidly in the jurybox THE NAMELESS ONE
THE JURORS (all their heads turned to his voice) Really? THE NAMELESS ONE (snarls) Arse over tip. Hundred shillings to five. THE JURORS (all their heads lowered in assent) Most of us thought as much. FIRST WATCH He is a marked man. Another girl's plait cut. Wanted: Jack the Ripper.
A
(awed, whispers) And in black. A mormon. Anarchist. THE CRIER (loudly) Whereas Leopold Bloom of no fixed abode is a wellknown (His Honour, sir Frederick Falkiner, recorder of Dublin, in judicial
I will put an end to this white slave traffic and rid Dublin of this
odious
John Fanning appears, smoking a pungent Henry Clay.) LONG JOHN FANNING (scowls and calls with rich rolling utterance) Who'll hang Judas Iscariot? (H. Rumbold, master barber, in a bloodcoloured jerkin and RUMBOLD (to the recorder with sinister familiarity) Hanging Harry, your
Majesty,
(The bells of George's church toll slowly, loud dark iron.) THE BELLS Heigho! Heigho! BLOOM (desperately) Wait. Stop. Gulls. Good heart. I saw. Innocence.
Girl in the
(coldly) You are a perfect stranger. SECOND WATCH (points to the corner) The bomb is here. FIRST WATCH Infernal machine with a time fuse. BLOOM No, no. Pig's feet. I was at a funeral. FIRST WATCH (draws his truncheon) Liar!
Paddy Dignam. He has gnawed all. He exhales a putrid carcasefed breath. He grows to human size and shape. His dachshund coat becomes a brown mortuary habit His green eye flashes bloodshot Half of one ear, all the nose and both thumbs are ghouleaten.) PADDY DIGNAM (in a hollow voice) It is true. It was my funeral. Doctor Finucane (He lifts his mutilated ashen face moonwards and bays BLOOM (in triumph) You hear? PADDY DIGNAM Bloom, I am Paddy Dignam's spirit. List, list, O list! BLOOM The voice is the voice of Esau. SECOND WATCH (blesses himself) How is that possible? FIRST WATCH
PADDY DIGNAM By metempsychosis. Spooks. A VOICE O rocks. PADDY DIGNAM (earnestly) Once I was in the employ of Mr J. H. Menton, solicitor,
buttermilk didn't agree with me. (The portly figure of John O'Connell, caretaker, stands forth, FATHER COFFEY (yawns, then chants with a hoarse croak) Namine. Jacobs. Vobiscuits. JOHN O'CONNELL
PADDY DIGNAM (with pricked up ears, winces) Overtones. (he wriggles forward
and JOHN O'CONNELL Burial docket letter number U. P. eightyfive thousand. Field seventeen. (Paddy Dignam listens with visible effort, thinking, his tail PADDY DIGNAM
(He worms down through a coalhole, his brown habit trailing its TOM ROCHFORD (a hand to his breastbone, bows) Reuben J. A florin I find him.
(he fixes
(He executes a daredevil salmon leap in the air and is engulfed in | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
.
lighted house, listening. . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
.
THE KISSES (warbling) Leo! (twittering) Icky licky micky sticky for
Leo! (cooing)
(They rustle, flutter upon his garments, alight, bright giddy flecks, | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . BLOOM A man's touch. Sad music. Church music. Perhaps here. (Zoe Higgins, a young whore in a sapphire slip, closed with three ZOE Are you looking for someone? He's inside with his friend. BLOOM
ZOE No, eightyone. Mrs Cohen's. You might go farther and fare worse. Mother BLOOM Not I! ZOE
(His skin, alert, feels her fingertips approach. A hand glides over ZOE How's the nuts? BLOOM Off side. Curiously they are on the right. Heavier, I suppose. One in
a ZOE (in sudden alarm) You've a hard chancre.
Not likely. ZOE I feel it. (Her hand slides into his left trouser pocket and brings out a hard BLOOM A talisman. Heirloom. ZOE For Zoe? For keeps? For being so nice, eh? (She puts the potato greedily into a pocket then links his arm, | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
.
her eyes, ringed with kohol. His smile softens.)
You'll know me the next time. BLOOM (forlornly) I never loved a dear gazelle but it was sure to .... (Gazelles are leaping, feeding on the mountains. Near are lakes. ZOE (murmuring singsong with the music, her odalisk lips lusciously smeared BLOOM (fascinated) I thought you were of good stock by your accent. ZOE And you know what thought did? (She bites his ear gently with little goldstopped teeth, sending
on BLOOM (draws back, mechanically caressing her right bub with a flat awkward ZOE (catches a stray hair deftly and twists it to her coil) No bloody
fear. I'm BLOOM (as before) Rarely smoke, dear. Cigar now and then. Childish
device.
weed. ZOE Go on. Make a stump speech out of it. . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . BLOOM (in workman's corduroy overalls, black gansy with red floating tie
and
All our habits. Why, look at our public life! (Midnight chimes from distant steeples.) THE CHIMES Turn again, Leopold! Lord mayor of Dublin! BLOOM (in alderman's gown and chain) Electors of Arran Quay, Inns Quay,
AN ELECTOR Three times three for our future chief magistrate! (The aurora borealis of the torchlight procession leaps.) THE TORCHBEARERS Hooray! (Several wellknown burgesses, city magnates and freemen of the LATE LORD MAYOR HARRINGTON (in scarlet robe with mace, gold mayoral chain and large white silk
scarf) COUNCILLOR LORCAN SHERLOCK Carried unanimously. BLOOM
in their upholstered poop, casting dice, what reck they? Machines is their cry, their chimera, their panacea. Laboursaving apparatuses, supplanters, bugbears, manufactured monsters for mutual murder, hideous hobgoblins produced by a horde of capitalistic lusts upon our prostituted labour. The poor man starves while they are grassing their royal mountain stags or shooting peasants and phartridges in their purblind pomp of pelf and power. But their reign is rover for rever and ever and ev ... (Prolonged applause. Venetian masts, maypoles and festal arches
bootjack manufacturers, undertakers, silk mercers, lapidaries, salesmasters, corkcutters, assessors of fire losses, dyers and cleaners, export bottlers, fellmongers, ticketwriters, heraldic seal engravers, horse repository hands, bullion brokers, cricket and archery outfitters, riddlemakers, egg and potato factors, hosiers and glovers, plumbing contractors. After them march gentlemen of the bedchamber, Black Rod, Deputy Garter, Gold Stick, the master of horse, the lord great chamberlain, the earl marshal, the high constable carrying the sword of state, saint Stephen's iron crown,
reply, winding clarions of welcome. Under an arch of triumph Bloom appears, bareheaded, in a crimson velvet mantle trimmed with ermine, bearing Saint Edward's staff the orb and sceptre with the dove, the curtana. He is seated on a milkwhite horse with long flowing crimson tail, richly caparisoned, with golden headstall. Wild excitement. The ladies from their balconies throw down rosepetals. The air is perfumed with essences. The men cheer. Bloom's boys run amid the bystanders with branches of hawthorn and wrenbushes.)
The wren, the wren, A BLACKSMITH (murmurs) For the honour of God! And is that Bloom? He scarcely
looks A PAVIOR AND FLAGGER That's the famous Bloom now, the world's greatest reformer. Hats off!
A MILLIONAIRESS (richly) Isn't he simply wonderful? A NOBLEWOMAN (nobly) All that man has seen! A FEMINIST (masculinely) And done! A BELLHANGER A classic face! He has the forehead of a thinker. (Bloom's weather. A sunburst appears in the northwest.)
THE BISHOP OF DOWN AND CONNOR I here present your undoubted emperor-president and king-chairman, the ALL God save Leopold the First! BLOOM (in dalmatic and purple mantle, to the bishop of Down and Connor,
with
(in purple stock and shovel hat) Will you to your power cause
law and BLOOM (placing his right hand on his testicles, swears) So may the
Creator deal MICHAEL, ARCHBISHOP OF ARMAGH (pours a cruse of hairoil over Bloom's head) Gaudium magnum annuntio
(Bloom assumes a mantle of cloth of gold and puts on a ruby ring Mirus bazaar fireworks go up from all sides with symbolical THE PEERS I do become your liege man of life and limb to earthly worship.
diamond. His palfrey neighs. Immediate silence. Wireless intercontinental and interplanetary transmitters are set for reception of message.) BLOOM My subjects! We hereby nominate our faithful charger Copula Felix (The former morganatic spouse of Bloom is hastily removed in the JOHN HOWARD PARNELL (raises the royal standard) Illustrious Bloom! Successor to my
famous BLOOM (embraces John Howard Parnell) We thank you from our heart, John,
for
The keys of Dublin, crossed on a crimson cushion, are given to him. He shows all that he is wearing green socks.) TOM KERNAN You deserve it, your honour. BLOOM On this day twenty years ago we overcame the hereditary enemy at
Bonafide Sabaoth, sabred the Saracen gunners to a man. THE CHAPEL OF FREEMAN TYPESETTERS Hear! Hear! JOHN WYSE NOLAN There's the man that got away James Stephens. A BLUECOAT SCHOOLBOY Bravo! AN OLD RESIDENT You're a credit to your country, sir, that's what you are.
He's a man like Ireland wants. BLOOM My beloved subjects, a new era is about to dawn. I, Bloom, tell you
verily it (Thirtytwo workmen, wearing rosettes, from all the counties of THE SIGHTSEERS (dying) Morituri te salutant. (they die) (A man in a brown macintosh springs up through a trapdoor. He THE MAN IN THE MACINTOSH Don't you believe a word he says. That man is Leopold M'Intosh, the BLOOM Shoot him! Dog of a christian! So much for M'Intosh! (A cannonshot. The man in the macintosh disappears. Bloom with THE WOMEN Little father! Little father! THE BABES AND SUCKLINGS Clap clap hands till Poldy comes home, (Bloom, bending down, pokes Baby Boardman gently in the BABY BOARDMAN (hiccups, curdled milk flowing from his mouth) Hajajaja.
(shaking hands with a blind stripling) My more than Brother!
(placing his THE CITIZEN (choked with emotion, brushes aside a tear in his emerald muffler)
May the
hoisted.) BLOOM (uncloaks impressively, revealing obesity, unrolls a paper and reads (An official translation is read by Jimmy Henry, assistant town JIMMY HENRY
administer open air justice. Free medical and legal advice, solution of doubles and other problems. All cordially invited. Given at this our loyal city of Dublin in the year I of the Paradisiacal Era. PADDY LEONARD What am I to do about my rates and taxes? BLOOM Pay them, my friend. PADDY LEONARD Thank you.
Can I raise a mortgage on my fire insurance? BLOOM (obdurately) Sirs, take notice that by the law of torts you are
bound over J. J. O'MOLLOY A Daniel did I say? Nay! A Peter O'Brien! NOSEY FLYNN Where do I draw the five pounds? PISSER BURKE
BLOOM Acid. nit. hydrochlor. dil., 20 minims CHRIS CALLINAN What is the parallax of the subsolar ecliptic of Aldebaran? BLOOM Pleased to hear from you, Chris. K. II.
Why aren't you in uniform? BLOOM When my progenitor of sainted memory wore the uniform of the Austrian BEN DOLLARD Pansies? BLOOM Embellish (beautify) suburban gardens. BEN DOLLARD
BLOOM Father (pater, dad) starts thinking. LARRY O'ROURKE An eightday licence for my new premises. You remember me, sir Leo, when BLOOM (coldly) You have the advantage of me. Lady Bloom accepts no presents. CROFTON
BLOOM (solemnly) You call it a festivity. I call it a sacrament. ALEXANDER KEYES When will we have our own house of keys? BLOOM I stand for the reform of municipal morals and the plain ten
must now cease. General amnesty, weekly carnival with masked licence, bonuses for all, esperanto the universal language with universal brotherhood. No more patriotism of barspongers and dropsical impostors. Free money, free rent, free love and a free lay church in a free lay state. O'MADDEN BURKE Free fox in a free henroost. DAVY BYRNE (yawning) Iiiiiiiiiaaaaaaach! BLOOM
LENEHAN What about mixed bathing? (Bloom explains to those near him his schemes for social FATHER FARLEY He is an episcopalian, an agnostic, an anythingarian seeking to overthrow MRS RIORDAN (tears up her will) I'm disappointed in you! You bad man! MOTHER GROGAN (removes her boot to throw it at Bloom) You beast! You abominable
Give us a tune, Bloom. One of the old sweet songs. BLOOM (with rollicking humour) I vowed that I never would leave her, HOPPY HOLOHAN Good old Bloom! There's nobody like him after all. PADDY LEONARD
BLOOM What railway opera is like a tramline in Gibraltar? The Rows of Casteele. (Laughter.) LENEHAN Plagiarist! Down with Bloom! THE VEILED SIBYL (enthusiastically) I'm a Bloomite and I glory in it. I believe
in him in spite BLOOM
THEODORE PUREFOY (in fishingcap and oilskin jacket) He employs a mechanical device
to THE VEILED SIBYL (stabs herself) My hero god! (she dies) (Many most attractive and enthusiastic women also commit suicide ALEXANDER J DOWIE (violently) Fellowchristians and antiBloomites, the man called
Bloom is
boiling oil are for him. Caliban! THE MOB Lynch him! Roast him! He's as bad as Parnell was. Mr Fox! (Mother Grogan throws her boot at Bloom. Several shopkeepers BLOOM (excitedly) This is midsummer madness, some ghastly joke again.
By
is my double. He lives in number 2 Dolphin's Barn. Slander, the viper, has wrongfully accused me. Fellowcountrymen, sgeul i mbarr bata coisde gan capall. I call on my old friend, Dr Malachi Mulligan, sex specialist, to give medical testimony on my behalf. DR MULLIGAN (in motor jerkin, green motorgoggles on his brow) Dr Bloom is
bisexually
exhibitionism. Ambidexterity is also latent. He is prematurely bald from selfabuse, perversely idealistic in consequence, a reformed rake, and has metal teeth. In consequence of a family complex he has temporarily lost his memory and I believe him to be more sinned against than sinning. I have made a pervaginal examination and, after application of the acid test to 5427 anal, axillary, pectoral and pubic hairs, I declare him to be virgo intacta. (Bloom holds his high grade hat over his genital organs.)
Hypsospadia is also marked. In the interest of coming generations I
suggest DR CROTTHERS I have examined the patient's urine. It is albuminoid. Salivation is DR PUNCH COSTELLO The fetor judaicus is most perceptible. DR DIXON
womanly man. His moral nature is simple and lovable. Many have found him a dear man, a dear person. He is a rather quaint fellow on the whole, coy though not feebleminded in the medical sense. He has written a really beautiful letter, a poem in itself, to the court missionary of the Reformed Priests' Protection Society which clears up everything. He is practically a total abstainer and I can affirm that he sleeps on a straw litter and eats the most Spartan food, cold dried grocer's peas. He wears a hairshirt of pure Irish manufacture winter and summer and scourges himself every Saturday. He was, I understand, at one time a firstclass misdemeanant in
child. I appeal for clemency in the name of the most sacred word our vocal organs have ever been called upon to speak. He is about to have a baby. (General commotion and compassion. Women faint. A wealthy BLOOM O, I so want to be a mother.
(in nursetender's gown) Embrace me tight, dear. You'll be soon
over it. (Bloom embraces her tightly and bears eight male yellow and white A VOICE Bloom, are you the Messiah ben Joseph or ben David? BLOOM (darkly) You have said it. BROTHER BUZZ
BANTAM LYONS Prophesy who will win the Saint Leger. (Bloom walks on a net, covers his left eye with his left ear, passes BRINI, PAPAL NUNCIO (in papal zouave's uniform, steel cuirasses as breastplate, armplates,
and MacKay begat Ostrolopsky and Ostrolopsky begat Smerdoz and Smerdoz begat Weiss and Weiss begat Schwarz and Schwarz begat Adrianopoli and Adrianopoli begat Aranjuez and Aranjuez begat Lewy Lawson and Lewy Lawson begat Ichabudonosor and Ichabudonosor begat O'Donnell Magnus and O'Donnell Magnus begat Christbaum and Christbaum begat ben Maimun and ben Maimun begat Dusty Rhodes and Dusty Rhodes begat Benamor and Benamor begat Jones-Smith and Jones-Smith begat Savorgnanovich and Savorgnanovich begat Jasperstone and Jasperstone begat Vingtetunieme and Vingtetunieme begat
vocabitur nomen eius Emmanuel. A DEADHAND (writes on the wall) Bloom is a cod. CRAB (in bushranger's kit) What did you do in the cattlecreep behind A FEMALE INFANT (shakes a rattle) And under Ballybough bridge?
And in the devil's glen? BLOOM (blushes furiously all over from frons to nates, three tears filling
from his THE IRISH EVICTED TENANTS (in bodycoats, kneebreeches, with Donnybrook fair shillelaghs)
Sjambok (Bloom with asses' ears seats himself in the pillory with crossed THE ARTANE ORPHANS You hig, you hog, you dirty dog! THE PRISON GATE GIRLS If you see Kay
(in ephod and huntingcap, announces) And he shall carry the sins
of the (All the people cast soft pantomime stones at Bloom. Many bonafide
(George R Mesias, Bloom's tailor, appears, a tailor's goose under MESIAS To alteration one pair trousers eleven shillings. BLOOM (rubs his hands cheerfully) Just like old times. Poor Bloom! (Reuben J Dodd, blackbearded Iscariot, bad shepherd, bearing on
(whispers hoarsely) The squeak is out. A split is gone for the
flatties. Nip THE FIRE BRIGADE Pflaap! BROTHER BUZZ (Invests Bloom in a yellow habit with embroidery of painted flames
and (Lieutenant Myers of the Dublin Fire Brigade by general request THE CITIZEN Thank heaven! BLOOM (in a seamless garment marked I. H. S. stands upright amid phoenix (The daughters of Erin, in black garments, with large prayerbooks
Flower of the Bath, pray for us Mentor of Menton, pray for us Canvasser for the Freeman, pray for us Charitable Mason, pray for us Wandering Soap, pray for us Sweets of Sin, pray for us Music without Words, pray for us Reprover of the Citizen, pray for us Friend of all Frillies, pray for us
Potato Preservative against Plague and Pestilence, pray for us. (A choir of six hundred voices, conducted by Vincent O'Brien, | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . ZOE Talk away till you're black in the face. BLOOM (in caubeen with clay pipe stuck in the band, dusty brogues, an emigrant's ZOE (stiffly, her finger in her neckfillet) Honest? Till the next
time. (she sneers)
best girl. O, I can read your thoughts! BLOOM (bitterly) Man and woman, love, what is it? A cork and bottle.
I'm sick of ZOE (in sudden sulks) I hate a rotter that's insincere. Give a bleeding
whore a BLOOM (repentantly) I am very disagreeable. You are a necessary evil.
Where are
ZOE (glibly) Hog's Norton where the pigs plays the organs. I'm Yorkshire BLOOM (smiles, nods slowly) More, houri, more. ZOE And more's mother? (she pats him offhandedly with velvet paws)
Are you
BLOOM (feeling his occiput dubiously with the unparalleled embarrassment
of a ZOE (flattered) What the eye can't see the heart can't grieve for.
(she pats him) BLOOM
ZOE Babby! BLOOM (in babylinen and pelisse, bigheaded, with a caul of dark hair, fixes
big eyes THE BUCKLES Love me. Love me not. Love me. ZOE
forefinger giving to his palm the passtouch of secret monitor, luring him to doom.) Hot hands cold gizzard. (He hesitates amid scents, music, temptations. She leads him THE MALE BRUTES (exhaling sulphur of rut and dung and ramping in their loosebox,
faintly | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
.
seated. They examine him curiously from under their pencilled brows and smile to his hasty bow. He trips awkwardly.) ZOE (her lucky hand instantly saving him) Hoopsa! Don't fall upstairs. BLOOM The just man falls seven times. (he stands aside at the threshold)
After you ZOE Ladies first, gentlemen after.
her hands, draws him over. He hops. On the antlered rack of the hall hang a man 's hat and waterproof. Bloom uncovers himself but, seeing them, frowns, then smiles, preoccupied. A door on the return landing is flung open. A man in purple shirt and grey trousers, brownsocked, passes with an ape's gait, his bald head and goatee beard upheld, hugging a full waterjugjar, his twotailed black braces dangling at heels. Averting his face quickly Bloom bends to examine on the halltable the spaniel eyes of a running fox: then, his lifted head sniffing, follows Zoe into the musicroom. A shade of mauve
moth flies, colliding, escaping. The floor is covered with an oilcloth mosaic of jade and azure and cinnabar rhomboids. Footmarks are stamped over it in all senses, heel to heel, heel to hollow, toe to toe, feet locked, a morris of shuffling feet without body phantoms, all
in
hand, sits perched on the edge of the table swinging her leg and glancing at herself in the gilt mirror over the mantelpiece. A tag of her corsetlace hangs slightly below her jacket Lynch indicates mockingly the couple at the piano.) KITTY (coughs behind her hand) She's a bit imbecillic. (she signs with
a waggling ZOE More limelight, Charley. (she goes to the chandelier and turns the
gas full KITTY (peers at the gasjet) What ails it tonight? LYNCH (deeply) Enter a ghost and hobgoblins. ZOE Clap on the back for Zoe.
at the pianola on which sprawl his hat and ashplant. With two fingers he repeats once more the series of empty fifths. Florry Talbot, a blond feeble goosefat whore in a tatterdemalion gown of mildewed strawberry, lolls spreadeagle in the sofacorner, her limp forearm pendent over the bolster, listening. A heavy stye droops over her sleepy eyelid.) KITTY (hiccups again with a kick of her horsed foot) O, excuse! ZOE
(Kitty Ricketts bends her head. Her boa uncoils, slides, glides over STEPHEN As a matter of fact it is of no importance whether Benedetto Marcello
found
saying Ceres' altar and David's tip from the stable to his chief bassoonist about the alrightness of his almightiness. Mais nom de nom, that is another pair of trousers. Jetez la gourme. Faut que jeunesse se passe. (he stops, points at Lynch's cap, smiles, laughs) Which side is your knowledge bump? . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . THE CAP (with saturnine spleen) Ba! It is because it is. Woman's reason.
Jewgreek is STEPHEN You remember fairly accurately all my errors, boasts, mistakes. How
long
THE CAP Ba! STEPHEN Here's another for you. (he frowns) The reason is because the THE CAP Which? Finish. You can't. STEPHEN
with. The ultimate return. The octave. Which. THE CAP Which? . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . (Outside the gramophone begins to blare The Holy City.) STEPHEN (abruptly) What went forth to the ends of the world to traverse
not itself,
LYNCH (with a mocking whinny of laughter grins at Bloom and Zoe Higgins) ZOE (briskly) God help your head, he knows more than you have forgotten. (With obese stupidity Florry Talbot regards Stephen.) FLORRY They say the last day is coming this summer. KITTY
ZOE (explodes in laughter) Great unjust God! FLORRY (offended) Well, it was in the papers about Antichrist. O, my
foot's | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . (Ragged barefoot newsboys, jogging a wagtail kite, patter past, THE NEWSBOYS Stop press edition. Result of the rockinghorse races. Sea serpent in
the
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . (Stephen turns and sees Bloom.) STEPHEN A time, times and half a time. . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . (Reuben I Antichrist, wandering jew, a clutching hand open on his ALL What? THE HOBGOBLIN (his jaws chattering, capers to and fro, goggling his eyes, squeaking, FLORRY (sinking into torpor, crossing herself secretly) The end of the world! (A female tepid effluvium leaks out from her. Nebulous obscurity THE GRAMOPHONE
Open your gates and sing Hosanna .... (A rocket rushes up the sky and bursts. A white star fills from it, THE END OF THE WORLD
row? (Over the possing drift and choking breathcoughs, Elijah's voice,
No yapping, if you please, in this booth. Jake Crane, Creole Sue, Dove
mother you'll be there. Rush your order and you play a slick ace. Join on right here. Book through to eternity junction, the nonstop run. Just one word more. Are you a god or a doggone clod? If the second advent came to Coney Island are we ready? Florry Christ, Stephen Christ, Zoe Christ, Bloom Christ, Kitty Christ, Lynch Christ, it's up to you to sense that cosmic force. Have we cold feet about the cosmos? No. Be on the side of the angels. Be a prism. You have that something within, the higher self. You can rub shoulders with a Jesus, a Gautama, an Ingersoll. Are you all in this vibration? I say you are. You once nobble that, congregation, and a buck
sure. The hottest stuff ever was. It's the whole pie with jam in. It's just the cutest snappiest line out. It is immense, supersumptuous. It restores. It vibrates. I know and I am some vibrator. Joking apart and, getting down to bedrock, A. J. Christ Dowie and the harmonial philosophy, have you got that? O. K. Seventyseven west sixtyninth street. Got me? That's it. You call me up by sunphone any old time. Bumboosers, save your stamps. (he shouts) Now then our glory song. All join heartily in the singing. Encore! (he sings) Jeru .... THE GRAMOPHONE
gratingly against the needle) THE THREE WHORES (covering their ears, squawk) Ahhkkk! ELIJAH (in rolledup shirtsleeves, black in the face,shouts at the top of
his voice,his President. I certainly am thinking now Miss Higgins and Miss Ricketts got religion way inside them. Certainly seems to me I don't never see no wusser
you. Mr President, you come long and help me save our sisters dear. (he winks at his audience) Our Mr President, he twig the whole lot and he aint saying nothing. KITTY-KATE I forgot myself. In a weak moment I erred and did what I did on ZOE-FANNY
FLORRY-TERESA It was in consequence of a portwine beverage on top of Hennessy's three STEPHEN In the beginning was the word, in the end the world without end. Blessed
be (The beatitudes, Dixon, Madden, Crotthers, Costello, Lenehan,
(incoherently) Beer beef battledog buybull businum barnum buggerum LYSTER (in quakergrey kneebreeches and broadbrimmed hat, says discreetly)
He is (He corantos by. Best enters in hairdresser's attire, shinily
bristles a pigtail toupee tied with an orange topknot) I was just beautifying him, don't you know. A thing of beauty, don't you know, Yeats says, or I mean, Keats says. JOHN EGLINTON (produces a greencapped dark lantern and flashes it towards a corner:
with (In the cone of the searchlight behind the coalscuttle, ollave, MANANAUN MACLIR (with a voice of waves) Aum! Hek! Wal! Ak! Lub! Mor! Ma! White (A skeleton judashand strangles the light. The green light wanes
to THE GASJET Pooah! Pfuiiiiiii! . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . (Zoe runs to the chandelier and, crooking her leg, adjusts the ZOE Who has a fag as I'm here? LYNCH (tossing a cigarette on to the table) Here. ZOE (her head perched aside in mock pride) Is that the way to hand
the pot to LYNCH I'm not looking ZOE (makes sheep's eyes) No? You wouldn't do a less thing. Would
you suck a (Squinting in mock shame she glances with sidelong meaning at | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
.
pink stilts. He is sausaged into several overcoats and wears a brown macintosh under which he holds a roll of parchment. In his left eye flashes the monocle of Cashel Boyle O'Connor Fitzmaurice Tisdall Farrell. On his head is perched an Egyptian pshent Two quills project over his ears.) VIRAG
coughs thoughtfully, drily) Promiscuous nakedness is much in evidence hereabouts, eh? Inadvertently her backview revealed the fact that she is not wearing those rather intimate garments of which you are a particular devotee. The injection mark on the thigh I hope you perceived? Good. BLOOM Granpapachi. But ..... VIRAG Number two on the other hand, she of the cherry rouge and coiffeuse
white,
to say. Correct me but I always understood that the act so performed by skittish humans with glimpses of lingerie appealed to you in virtue of its exhibitionististicicity. In a word. Hippogriff. Am I right? BLOOM She is rather lean. VIRAG (not unpleasantly) Absolutely! Well observed and those pannier
pockets of
dustspecks. Never put on you tomorrow what you can wear today. Parallax! (with a nervous twitch of his head) Did you hear my brain go snap? Pollysyllabax! BLOOM (an elbow resting in a hand, a forefinger against his cheek) She seems sad. VIRAG (cynically, his weasel teeth bared yellow, draws down his left eye
with a
genially) Well then, permit me to draw your attention to item number three. There is plenty of her visible to the naked eye. Observe the mass of oxygenated vegetable matter on her skull. What ho, she bumps! The ugly duckling of the party, longcasted and deep in keel. BLOOM (regretfully) When you come out without your gun. VIRAG We can do you all brands, mild, medium and strong. Pay your money, take
With ...? VIRAG (his tongue upcurling) Lyum! Look. Her beam is broad. She is
coated with
with fennygreek and gumbenjamin swamped down by potions of green tea endow them during their brief existence with natural pincushions of quite colossal blubber. That suits your book, eh? Fleshhotpots of Egypt to BLOOM The stye I dislike. VIRAG (arches his eyebrows) Contact with a goldring, they say. Argumentum
ad BLOOM (reflecting) Wheatenmeal with lycopodium and syllabax. This searching
(severely, his nose hardhumped, his side eye winking) Stop twirling
your BLOOM Rosemary also did I understand you to say or willpower over parasitic VIRAG
energetically) This book tells you how to act with all descriptive particulars. Consult index for agitated fear of aconite, melancholy of muriatic, priapic pulsatilla. Virag is going to talk about amputation. Our old friend caustic. They must be starved. Snip off with horsehair under the denned neck. But, to change the venue to the Bulgar and the Basque, have you made up your mind whether you like or dislike women in male habiliments? (with a dry snigger) You intended to devote an entire year to the study of the religious problem and the summer months of 1886 to square the circle and win that million. Pomegranate! From the sublime to
knickers, closed? Or, put we the case, those complicated combinations, camiknickers? (he crows derisively) Keekeereekee! veiled mauve light, hearing the everflying moth.) BLOOM I wanted then to have now concluded. Nightdress was never. Hence this. VIRAG
in reiterated coition, lured by the smell of the inferiorly pulchritudinous fumale possessing extendified pudendal nerve in dorsal region. Pretty Poll! (his yellow parrotbeak gabbles nasally) They had a proverb in the Carpathians in or about the year five thousand five hundred and fifty of our era. One tablespoonful of honey will attract friend Bruin more than half a dozen barrels of first choice malt vinegar. Bear's buzz bothers bees. But of this apart. At another time we may resume. We were very pleased, we others. (he coughs and, bending his brow, rubs his nose thoughtfully with a scooping hand) You shall find that these night insects follow the light. An
points see the seventeenth book of my Fundamentals of Sexology or the Love Passion which Doctor L. B. says is the book sensation of the year. Some, to example, there are again whose movements are automatic. Perceive. That is his appropriate sun. Nightbird nightsun nighttown. Chase me, Charley! (he blows into Bloom's ear) Buzz! BLOOM Bee or bluebottle too other day butting shadow on wall dazed self then
me VIRAG
his fly or mustard plaster on his dibble. (he gobbles gluttonously with turkey wattles) Bubbly jock! Bubbly jock! Where are we? Open Sesame! Cometh forth! (he unrolls his parchment rapidly and reads, his glowworm's nose running backwards over the letters which he claws) Stay, good friend. I bring thee thy answer. Redbank oysters will shortly be upon us. I'm the best o'cook. Those succulent bivalves may help us and the truffles of Perigord, tubers dislodged through mister omnivorous porker, were unsurpassed in cases of nervous debility or viragitis. Though they stink yet they sting. (he wags his head with cackling raillery) Jocular. With
BLOOM (absently) Ocularly woman's bivalve case is worse. Always open
sesame. VIRAG (his mouth projected in hard wrinkles, eyes stonily forlornly closed,
psalms BLOOM I am going to scream. I beg your pardon. Ah? So. (he repeats) VIRAG (head askew, arches his back and hunched wingshoulders, peers at
the
O, I much fear he shall be most badly burned. Will some pleashe pershon not now impediment so catastrophics mit agitation of firstclass tablenumpkin? (he mews) Puss puss puss puss! (he sighs, draws back and stares sideways down with dropping underjaw) Well, well. He doth rest anon. (he snaps his jaws suddenly on the air) THE MOTH I'm a tiny tiny thing
Now I do this kind of thing On the wing, on the wing! Bing! (he rushes against the mauve shade, flapping noisily) Pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty petticoats. (From left upper entrance with two gliding steps Henry Flower dulcimer and a longstemmed bamboo Jacob's pipe, its clay bowl
silverbuckled pumps. He has the romantic Saviour's face with flowing locks, thin beard and moustache. His spindlelegs and sparrow feet are those of the tenor Mario, prince of Candia. He settles down his goffered ruffs and moistens his lips with a passage of his amorous tongue.) HENRY (in a low dulcet voice, touching the strings of his guitar) There
is a flower (Virag truculent, his jowl set, stares at the lamp. Grave Bloom | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| .
(to himself) Play with your eyes shut. Imitate pa. Filling my
belly with | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . (Almidano Artifoni holds out a batonroll of music with vigorous ARTIFONI Ci rifletta. Lei rovina tutto. . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . FLORRY Sing us something. Love's old sweet song. STEPHEN No voice. I am a most finished artist. Lynch, did I show you the letter
about FLORRY (smirking) The bird that can sing and won't sing. . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
.
dons with lawnmowers, appear in the window embrasure. Both are masked with Matthew Arnold's face.) PHILIP SOBER Take a fool's advice. All is not well. Work it out with the buttend
of a pencil, PHILIP DRUNK
find out about octaves. Reduplication of personality. Who was it told me his name? (his lawnmower begins to purr) Aha, yes. Zoe mou sas agapo. Have a notion I was here before. When was it not Atkinson his card I have somewhere. Mac Somebody. Unmack I have it. He told me about, hold on, Swinburne, was it, no? . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . FLORRY And the song? STEPHEN Spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.
Are you out of Maynooth? You're like someone I knew once. STEPHEN Out of it now. (to himself) Clever. . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . PHILIP DRUNK AND PHILIP SOBER (their lawnmowers purring with a rigadoon of grasshalms) Clever
ever. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . ZOE There was a priest down here two nights ago to do his bit of business
with
Roman collar. . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . VIRAG Perfectly logical from his standpoint. Fall of man. (harshly, his
pupils of rushrope, offers her allmoist yoni to man's lingam. Short time after man presents woman with pieces of jungle meat. Woman shows joy and covers herself with featherskins. Man loves her yoni fiercely with big lingam, the
Strong man grapses woman's wrist. Woman squeals, bites, spucks. Man, now fierce angry, strikes woman's fat yadgana. (he chases his tail) Piffpaff! Popo! (he stops, sneezes) Pchp! (he worries his butt) Prrrrrht! . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . LYNCH I hope you gave the good father a penance. Nine glorias for shooting
a ZOE (spouts walrus smoke through her nostrils) He couldn't get a
connection.
Poor man! ZOE (lightly) Only for what happened him. BLOOM How? . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . VIRAG (A diabolic rictus of black luminosity contracting his visage, cranes
his
(he leans out on tortured forepaws, elbows bent rigid, his eye agonising in his flat skullneck and yelps over the mute world) A son of a whore. Apocalypse. . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . KITTY And Mary Shortall that was in the lock with the pox she got from Jimmy . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . PHILIP DRUNK
PHILIP SOBER (gaily) C'etait le sacr pigeon, Philippe. . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . (Kitty unpins her hat and sets it down calmly, patting her henna LYNCH (laughs) And to such delights has Metchnikoff inoculated anthropoid apes. FLORRY (nods) Locomotor ataxy.
(gaily) O, my dictionary. LYNCH Three wise virgins. . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . VIRAG (agueshaken, profuse yellow spawn foaming over his bony epileptic
lips) (Ben Jumbo Dollard, rubicund, musclebound, hairynostrilled, BEN DOLLARD (nakkering castanet bones in his huge padded paws, yodels jovially
in base (The virgins Nurse Callan and Nurse Quigley burst through the
(gushingly) Big Ben! Ben my Chree! A VOICE Hold that fellow with the bad breeches. BEN DOLLARD (smites his thigh in abundant laughter) Hold him now. HENRY (caressing on his breast a severed female head, murmurs) Thine
heart, VIRAG
yawns, showing a coalblack throat, and closes his jaws by an upward push of his parchmentroll) After having said which I took my departure. Farewell. Fare thee well. Dreck! (Henry Flower combs his moustache and beard rapidly with a THE FLYBILL
HENRY All is lost now. (Virag unscrews his head in a trice and holds it under his arm.) VIRAG'S HEAD Quack! (Exeunt severally.) | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . STEPHEN (over his shoulder to Zoe) You would have preferred the fighting
parson
LYNCH All one and the same God to her. STEPHEN (devoutly) And sovereign Lord of all things. FLORRY (to Stephen) I'm sure you're a spoiled priest. Or a monk. LYNCH He is. A cardinal's son. STEPHEN
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . (His Eminence Simon Stephen cardinal Dedalus, primate of all
Conservio lies captured (He looks at all for a moment, his right eye closed tight, his left
But some bloody savage To graize his white cabbage He murdered Nell Flaherty's duckloving drake. (A multitude of midges swarms white over his robe. He scratches I'm suffering the agony of the damned. By the hoky fiddle, thanks be
to (His head aslant he blesses curtly with fore and middle fingers,
(The trick doorhandle turns.)
Theeee! . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . ZOE The devil is in that door. (A male form passes down the creaking staircase and is heard ZOE (sniffs his hair briskly) Hmmm! Thank your mother for the rabbits.
I'm
BLOOM (hearing a male voice in talk with the whores on the doorstep, pricks
his ZOE (tears open the silverfoil) Fingers was made before forks. (she
breaks off (She tosses a piece. With an adroit snap he catches it and bites
it KITTY (chewing) The engineer I was with at the bazaar does have lovely
ones. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . BLOOM (In Svengali's fur overcoat, with folded arms and Napoleonic forelock, | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . (A male cough and tread are heard passing through the mist BLOOM (solemnly) Thanks. ZOE
(A firm heelclacking tread is heard on the stairs.) BLOOM (takes the chocolate) Aphrodisiac? Tansy and pennyroyal. But
I bought it. (The door opens. Bella Cohen, a massive whoremistress, enters. She
My word! I'm all of a mucksweat. (She glances round her at the couples Then her eyes rest on Bloom | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . THE FAN (flirting quickly, then slowly) Married, I see. BLOOM Yes. Partly, I have mislaid..... THE FAN (half opening, then closing) And the missus is master. Petticoat BLOOM (looks down with a sheepish grin) That is so.
(folding together, rests against her left eardrop) Have you forgotten me? BLOOM Nes. Yo. THE FAN (folded akimbo against her waist) Is me her was you dreamed before?
Was (Bella approaches, gently tapping with the fan.) BLOOM (wincing) Powerful being. In my eyes read that slumber which
women
THE FAN (tapping) We have met. You are mine. It is fate. BLOOM (cowed) Exuberant female. Enormously I desiderate your domination.
I angle cause a draught of thirtytwo feet per second according to the law of falling bodies. I have felt this instant a twinge of sciatica in my left glutear
barometer from it. He believed in animal heat. A skin of tabby lined his winter waistcoat. Near the end, remembering king David and the Sunamite, he shared his bed with Athos, faithful after death. A dog's spittle as you probably.... (he winces) Ah! RICHIE GOULDING (bagweighted, passes the door) Mocking is catch. Best value in
Dub. Fit for THE FAN (tapping) All things end. Be mine. Now,
(undecided) All now? I should not have parted with my talisman.
Rain, THE FAN (points downwards slowly) You may. BLOOM (looks downwards and perceives her unfastened bootlace) We are THE FAN
BLOOM (with desire, with reluctance) I can make a true black knot.
Learned when (Bella raises her gown slightly and, steadying her pose, lifts to
the BLOOM
dream, the darling joys of sweet buttonhooking, to lace up crisscrossed to kneelength the dressy kid footwear satinlined, so incredibly impossibly small, of Clyde Road ladies. Even their wax model Raymonde I visited daily to admire her cobweb hose and stick of rhubarb toe, as worn in Paris. THE HOOF Smell my hot goathide. Feel my royal weight. BLOOM (crosslacing) Too tight? THE HOOF
BLOOM Not to lace the wrong eyelet as I did the night of the bazaar dance.
Bad (He knots the lace. Bella places her foot on the floor. Bloom raises BLOOM (mumbles) Awaiting your further orders we remain, gentlemen,
.... (with a hard basilisk stare, in a baritone voice) Hound of dishonour! BLOOM (infatuated) Empress! BELLO (his heavy cheekchops sagging) Adorer of the adulterous rump! BLOOM (plaintively) Hugeness! BELLO Dungdevourer!
(with sinews semiflexed) Magmagnificence! BELLO Down! (he taps her on the shoulder with his fan) Incline feet
forward! BLOOM (her eyes upturned in the sign of admiration, closing, yaps) Truffles! (With a piercing epileptic cry she sinks on all fours, grunting, BELLO (with bobbed hair, purple gills, fit moustache rings round his shaven BLOOM
BELLO (laughs loudly) Holy smoke! You little know what's in store for
you. I'm (Bloom creeps under the sofa and peers out through the fringe.) ZOE (widening her slip to screen her) She's not here. BLOOM
FLORRY (hiding her with her gown) She didn't mean it, Mr Bello. She'll
be good, KITTY Don't be too hard on her, Mr Bello. Sure you won't, ma'amsir. BELLO (coaxingly) Come, ducky dear, I want a word with you, darling,
just to BLOOM (fainting) Don't tear my ... BELLO (savagely) The nosering, the pliers, the bastinado, the hanging
hook, the
breakfast of Matterson's fat hamrashers and a bottle of Guinness's porter. (he belches) And suck my thumping good Stock Exchange cigar while I read the Licensed Victualler's Gazette. Very possibly I shall have you slaughtered and skewered in my stables and enjoy a slice of you with crisp crackling from the baking tin basted and baked like sucking pig with rice and lemon or currant sauce. It will hurt you. (He twists her arm. Bloom squeals, turning turtle.) BLOOM Don't be cruel, nurse! Don't!
(twisting) Another! BLOOM (screams) O, it's hell itself! Every nerve in my body aches like mad! BELLO (shouts) Good, by the rumping jumping general! That's the best
bit of BLOOM (whimpers) You're after hitting me. I'll tell ....
Hold him down, girls, till I squat on him. ZOE Yes. Walk on him! I will. FLORRY I will. Don't be greedy. KITTY No, me. Lend him to me. (The brothel cook, Mrs Keogh, wrinkled, greybearded, in a greasy MRS KEOGH (ferociously) Can I help? (They hold and pinion Bloom.) BELLO (squats with a grunt on Bloom's upturned face, puffing cigarsmoke,
Goddamned outsider Throwaway at twenty to one. (he quenches his cigar angrily on Bloom's ear) Where's that Goddamned cursed ashtray? BLOOM (goaded, buttocksmothered) O! O! Monsters! Cruel one! BELLO Ask for that every ten minutes. Beg. Pray for it as you never prayed
before.
shouting) Ho! Off we pop! I'll nurse you in proper fashion. (he horserides cockhorse, leaping in the, in the saddle) The lady goes a pace a pace and the coachman goes a trot a trot and the gentleman goes a gallop a gallop a gallop a gallop. FLORRY (pulls at Bello) Let me on him now. You had enough. I asked before you. ZOE (pulling at Florry) Me. Me. Are you not finished with him yet, suckeress? BLOOM
BELLO Well, I'm not. Wait. (he holds in his breath) Curse it. Here.
This bung's BLOOM (a sweat breaking out over him) Not man. (he sniffs) Woman. BELLO (stands up) No more blow hot and cold. What you longed for has
come to
yoke. Now for your punishment frock. You will shed your male garments, you understand, Ruby Cohen? and don the shot silk luxuriously rustling over head and shoulders. And quickly too! BLOOM (shrinks) Silk, mistress said! O crinkly! scrapy! Must I tiptouch
it with my BELLO (points to his whores) As they are now so will you be, wigged,
singed,
force into vicelike corsets of soft dove coutille with whalebone busk to the diamondtrimmed pelvis, the absolute outside edge, while your figure, plumper than when at large, will be restrained in nettight frocks, pretty two ounce petticoats and fringes and things stamped, of course, with my houseflag, creations of lovely lingerie for Alice and nice scent for Alice. Alice will feel the pullpull.Martha and Mary will be a little chilly at first in such delicate thighcasing but the frilly flimsiness of lace round your bare knees will remind you ..... BLOOM
hands and nose, leering mouth) I tried her things on only twice, a small prank, in Holles street. When we were hard up I washed them to save the laundry bill. My own shirts I turned. It was the purest thrift. BELLO (jeers) Little jobs that make mother pleased, eh? And showed
off
BLOOM Miriam. Black. Demimondaine. BELLO (guffaws) Christ Almighty it's too tickling, this! You were a
nicelooking
duchess of Manorhamilton. (he guffaws again) Christ, wouldn't it make a Siamese cat laugh? BLOOM (her hands and features working) It was Gerald converted me to
be a true BELLO
with womanish care, lifting your billowy flounces, on the smoothworn throne. BLOOM Science. To compare the various joys we each enjoy. (earnestly)
And really BELLO (sternly) No insubordination! The sawdust is there in the corner
for you. I
against you. Many. Hundreds. THE SINS OF THE PAST (in a medley of voices) He went through a form of clandestine
marriage
smelling vitriol works did he not pass night after night by loving courting couples to see if and what and how much he could see? Did he not lie in bed, the gross boar, gloating over a nauseous fragment of wellused toilet paper presented to him by a nasty harlot, stimulated by gingerbread and a postal order? BELLO (whistles loudly) Say! What was the most revolting piece of obscenity
in all (Mute inhuman faces throng forward, leering, vanishing, gibbering, stripling, Larry rhinoceros, the girl, the woman, the whore, the BLOOM Don't ask me! Our mutual faith. Pleasants street. I only thought the
half of BELLO (peremptorily) Answer. Repugnant wretch! I insist on knowing.
Tell me
BLOOM (docile, gurgles) I rererepugnosed in rerererepugnant BELLO (imperiously) O, get out, you skunk! Hold your tongue! Speak
when BLOOM (bows) Master! Mistress! Mantamer! (He lifts his arms. His bangle bracelets fill.) BELLO
when we ladies are unwell, and swab out our latrines with dress pinned up and a dishclout tied to your tail. Won't that be nice? (he places a ruby ring on her finger) And there now! With this ring I thee own. Say, thank you, mistress. BLOOM Thank you, mistress. BELLO You will make the beds, get my tub ready, empty the pisspots in the
different
hot. Hop! You will dance attendance or I'll lecture you on your misdeeds, Miss Ruby, and spank your bare bot right well, miss, with the hairbrush. You'll be taught the error of your ways. At night your wellcreamed braceletted hands will wear fortythreebutton gloves newpowdered with talc and having delicately scented fingertips. For such favours knights of old laid down their lives. (he chuckles) My boys will be no end charmed
to see
and Petty Bag office) is on the lookout for a maid of all work at a short knock. Swell the bust. Smile. Droop shoulders. What offers? (he points) For that lot. Trained by owner to fetch and carry, basket in mouth. (he bares his arm and plunges it elbowdeep in Bloom's vulva) There's fine depth for you! What, boys? That give you a hardon? (he shoves his arm in a bidder's face) Here wet the deck and wipe it round! A BIDDER A florin. (Dillon's lacquey rings his handbell.)
Barang! A VOICE One and eightpence too much. CHARLES ALBERTA MARSH Must be virgin. Good breath. Clean. BELLO (gives a rap with his gavel) Two bar. Rockbottom figure and cheap
at the
stockgetter, due to lay within the hour. His sire's milk record was a thousand gallons of whole milk in forty weeks. Whoa my jewel! Beg up! Whoa! (he brands his initial C on Bloom's croup) So! Warranted Cohen! What advance on two bob, gentlemen? A DARKVISAGED MAN (in disguised accent) Hoondert punt sterlink. VOICES (subdued) For the Caliph. Haroun Al Raschid.
(gaily) Right. Let them all come. The scanty, daringly short
skirt, riding up BLOOM
mouth) O, I know what you're hinting at now! BELLO What else are you good for, an impotent thing like you? (he stoops
and, BLOOM
BELLO (sarcastically) I wouldn't hurt your feelings for the world but
there's a
BLOOM I was indecently treated, I ..... Inform the police. Hundred pounds. BELLO Would if you could, lame duck. A downpour we want not your drizzle. BLOOM To drive me mad! Moll! I forgot! Forgive! Moll .... We .... Still ..... BELLO (ruthlessly) No, Leopold Bloom, all is changed by woman's will
since you
(Old Sleepy Hollow calls over the wold.) SLEEPY HOLLOW Rip van Wink! Rip van Winkle! BLOOM (in tattered mocassins with a rusty fowlingpiece, tiptoeing, fingertipping, BELLO
student. (Milly Bloom, fairhaired, greenvested, slimsandalled, her blue scarf MILLY My! It's Papli! But, O Papli, how old you've grown! BELLO Changed, eh? Our whatnot, our writingtable where we never wrote, aunt
many women had you, eh, following them up dark streets, flatfoot, exciting them by your smothered grunts, what, you male prostitute? Blameless dames with parcels of groceries. Turn about. Sauce for the goose, my gander O. BLOOM They.... I .... BELLO (cuttingly) Their heelmarks will stamp the Brusselette carpet
you bought at
for art for art' sake. They will violate the secrets of your bottom drawer. Pages will be torn from your handbook of astronomy to make them pipespills. And they will spit in your ten shilling brass fender from Hampton Leedom's. BLOOM Ten and six. The act of low scoundrels. Let me go. I will return. I
will A VOICE Swear!
his teeth.) BELLO As a paying guest or a kept man? Too late. You have made your secondbest BLOOM Justice! All Ireland versus one! Has nobody ...? (he bites his thumb) BELLO Die and be damned to you if you have any sense of decency or grace about
back. Sign a will and leave us any coin you have! If you have none see you damn well get it, steal it, rob it! We'll bury you in our shrubbery jakes where you'll be dead and dirty with old Cuck Cohen, my stepnephew I married, the bloody old gouty procurator and sodomite with a crick in his neck, and my other ten or eleven husbands, whatever the buggers' names were, suffocated in the one cesspool. (he explodes in a loud phlegmy laugh) We'll manure you, Mr Flower! (he pipes scoffingly) Byby, Poldy! Byby, Papli! BLOOM
weeps tearlessly) BELLO (sneers) Crybabby! Crocodile tears! (Bloom, broken, closely veiled for the sacrifice, sobs, his face
to the THE CIRCUMCISED (in dark guttural chant as they cast dead sea fruit upon him, no
flowers) VOICES (sighing) So he's gone. Ah yes. Yes, indeed. Bloom? Never heard
of him. (From the suttee pyre the flame of gum camphire ascends. The pall THE YEWS (their leaves whispering) Sister. Our sister. Ssh! THE NYMPH (softly) Mortal! (kindly) Nay, dost not weepest! BLOOM (crawls jellily forward under the boughs, streaked by sunlight, with THE NYMPH
pugilists, popular generals, immoral panto boys in fleshtights and the nifty shimmy dancers, La Aurora and Karini, musical act, the hit of the century. I was hidden in cheap pink paper that smelt of rock oil. I was surrounded
BLOOM (lifts a turtle head towards her lap) We have met before. On another star.
(sadly) Rubber goods. Neverrip brand as supplied to the aristocracy. BLOOM You mean Photo Bits? THE NYMPH I do. You bore me away, framed me in oak and tinsel, set me above your
BLOOM (humbly kisses her long hair) Your classic curves, beautiful
immortal, I THE NYMPH During dark nights I heard your praise. BLOOM (quickly) Yes, yes. You mean that I.... Sleep reveals the worst
side of
addressed. It claims to afford a noiseless, inoffensive vent. (he sighs) 'Twas ever thus. Frailty, thy name is marriage. THE NYMPH (her fingers in her ears) And words. They are not in my dictionary.
You understood them? THE YEWS Ssh! THE NYMPH
What must my eyes look down on? BLOOM (apologetically) I know. Soiled personal linen, wrong side up
with care. THE NYMPH (bends her head) Worse, worse! BLOOM (reflects precautiously) That antiquated commode. It wasn't her
weight.
which has only one handle. (The sound of a waterfall is heard in bright cascade.) THE WATERFALL Poulaphouca Poulaphouca THE YEWS (mingling their boughs) Listen. Whisper. She is right, our sister.
We grew JOHN WYSE NOLAN
hat) Prosper! Give shade on languorous days, trees of Ireland! THE YEWS (murmuring) Who came to Poulaphouca with the High School excursion?
(scared) High School of Poula? Mnemo? Not in full possession
of THE ECHO Sham!
(pigeonbreasted, bottleshouldered, padded, in nondescript juvenile
grey
jerseys and shorts, Master Donald Turnbull, Master Abraham Chatterton, Master Owen Goldberg, Master Jack Meredith, Master Percy Apjohn, stand in a clearing of the trees and shout to Master Leopold Bloom.) THE HALCYON DAYS Mackerel! Live us again. Hurray! (they cheer) BLOOM (hobbledehoy, warmgloved, mammamufflered, starred with spent
School! THE ECHO Fool! THE YEWS (rustling) She is right, our sister. Whisper. (Whispered kisses
are heard in THE NYMPH (coyly, through parting fingers) There? In the open air?
(sweeping downward) Sister, yes. And on our virgin sward. THE WATERFALL Poulaphouca Poulaphouca THE NYMPH (with wide fingers) O, infamy! BLOOM I was precocious. Youth. The fauna. I sacrificed to the god of the forest.
night toilette through illclosed curtains with poor papa's operaglasses: The wanton ate grass wildly. She rolled downhill at Rialto bridge to tempt me with her flow of animal spirits. She climbed their crooked tree and I. A saint couldn't resist it. The demon possessed me. Besides, who saw? (Staggering Bob, a whitepolled calf, thrusts a ruminating head with STAGGERING BOB (large teardrops rolling from his prominent eyes, snivels) Me. Me see. BLOOM
girling. Too ugly. They wouldn't play .... (High on Ben Howth through rhododendrons a nannygoat passes, THE NANNYGOAT (bleats) Megeggaggegg! Nannannanny! BLOOM (hatless, flushed, covered with burrs of thistledown and gorsespine)
clerk. (Through silversilent summer air the dummy of Bloom, rolled in a THE DUMMYMUMMY Bbbbblllllblblblblobschb! (Far out in the bay between Bailey and Kish lights the Erin's King
(alone on deck, in dark alpaca, yellowkitefaced, his hand in his
waistcoat BLOOM Done. Prff! THE NYMPH (loftily) We immortals, as you saw today, have not such a place
and no hair
BLOOM (pawing the heather abjectly) O, I have been a perfect pig. Enemas
too I THE NYMPH In my presence. The powderpuff. (she blushes and makes a knee)
And the BLOOM
back changes name. (with sudden fervour) For why should the dainty scented jewelled hand, the hand that rules ...? (Figures wind serpenting in slow woodland pattern around the THE VOICE OF KITTY (in the thicket) Show us one of them cushions. THE VOICE OF FLORRY Here. (A grouse wings clumsily through the underwood.)
(in the thicket) Whew! Piping hot! THE VOICE OF ZOE (in the thicket) Came from a hot place. THE VOICE OF VIRAG (a birdchief, bluestreaked and feathered in war panoply with his
assegai, BLOOM It overpowers me. The warm impress of her warm form. Even to sit where
a
last favours, most especially with previously well uplifted white sateen coatpans. So womanly, full. It fills me full. THE WATERFALL Phillaphulla Poulaphouca THE YEWS Ssh! Sister, speak! THE NYMPH (eyeless, in nun's white habit, coif and hugewinged wimple, softly,
with (Bloom half rises. His back trouserbutton snaps.) THE BUTTON Bip! (Two sluts of the Coombe dance rainily by, shawled, yelling flatly.) THE SLUTS O, Leopold lost the pin of his drawers
To keep it up, To keep it up. BLOOM (coldly) You have broken the spell. The last straw. If there
were only THE YEWS (their silverfoil of leaves precipitating, their skinny arms aging
and
(her features hardening, gropes in the folds of her habit) Sacrilege!
To BLOOM (starts up, seizes her hand) Hoy! Nebrakada! Cat o' nine lives!
Fair play,
holy abbot you want or Brophy, the lame gardener, or the spoutless statue of the watercarrier, or good mother Alphonsus, eh Reynard? THE NYMPH (with a cry flees from him unveiled, her plaster cast cracking, a
cloud of BLOOM (calls after her) As if you didn't get it on the double yourselves.
No jerks
years of black slave labour behind me. And would a jury give me five shillings alimony tomorrow, eh? Fool someone else, not me. (he sniffs) Rut. Onions. Stale. Sulphur. Grease. . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . (The figure of Bella Cohen stands before him.) BELLA You'll know me the next time. . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . BLOOM (composed, regards her) Passe. Mutton dressed as lamb. Long
in the
vapid as the glasseyes of your stuffed fox. They have the dimensions of your other features, that's all. I'm not a triple screw propeller. BELLA (contemptuously) You're not game, in fact. (her sowcunt barks) BLOOM (contemptuously) Clean your nailless middle finger first, your
bully's cold
I know you, canvasser! Dead cod! BLOOM I saw him, kipkeeper! Pox and gleet vendor! . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . BELLA (turns to the piano) Which of you was playing the dead march from Saul? ZOE Me. Mind your cornflowers. (she darts to the piano and bangs chords
on it
(Kitty, disconcerted, coats her teeth with the silver paper. Bloom BLOOM (gently) Give me back that potato, will you? ZOE Forfeits, a fine thing and a superfine thing. BLOOM (with feeling) It is nothing, but still, a relic of poor mamma. ZOE
God'll ask you where is that You'll say you don't know God'll send you down below. BLOOM There is a memory attached to it. I should like to have it. STEPHEN To have or not to have that is the question. ZOE Here. (she hauls up a reef of her slip, revealing her bare thigh,
and unrolls BELLA (frowns) Here. This isn't a musical peepshow. And don't you smash
that (She goes to the pianola. Stephen fumbles in his pocket and, taking STEPHEN (with exaggerated politeness) This silken purse I made out of
the sow's ear LYNCH (calls from the hearth) Dedalus! Give her your blessing for me. STEPHEN (hands Bella a coin) Gold. She has it. BELLA (looks at the money, then at Stephen, then at Zoe, Florry and Kitty)
Do STEPHEN
out and hands her two crowns) Permit, brevi manu, my sight is somewhat troubled. (Bella goes to the table to count the money while Stephen talks to FLORRY (strives heavily to rise) Ow! My foot's asleep. (She limps
over to the table.
(chattering and squabbling) The gentleman... ten shillings....
paying for STEPHEN (at the pianola, making a gesture of abhorrence) No bottles!
What, eleven? ZOE
stocking) Hard earned on the flat of my back. LYNCH (lifting Kitty from the table) Come! KITTY Wait. (she clutches the two crowns) FLORRY And me? LYNCH
(He lifts her, carries her and bumps her down on the sofa.) STEPHEN The fox crew, the cocks flew, BLOOM (quietly lays a half sovereign on the table between Bella and Florry)
So.
BELLA (admiringly) You're such a slyboots, old cocky. I could kiss you. ZOE (points) Him? Deep as a drawwell. (Lynch bends Kitty back over the sofa and kisses her. Bloom goes
This is yours.
How is that? The distrait or absentminded beggar. (He fumbles again
in BLOOM (stooping, picks up and hands a box of matches) This. STEPHEN Lucifer. Thanks. BLOOM (quietly) You had better hand over that cash to me to take care
of. Why
(hands him all his coins) Be just before you are generous. BLOOM I will but is it wise? (he counts) One, seven, eleven, and five.
Six. Eleven. I STEPHEN Why striking eleven? Proparoxyton. Moment before the next Lessing says. BLOOM
STEPHEN Doesn't matter a rambling damn. BLOOM No, but.... STEPHEN (comes to the table) Cigarette, please. (Lynch tosses a cigarette
from the LYNCH (watching him) You would have a better chance of lighting it
if you held STEPHEN (brings the match near his eye) Lynx eye. Must get glasses. Broke
them
It was a commercial traveller married her and took her away with him. FLORRY (nods) Mr Lambe from London. STEPHEN Lamb of London, who takest away the sins of our world. LYNCH (embracing Kitty on the sofa, chants deeply) Dona nobis pacem. (The cigarette slips from Stephen 's fingers. Bloom picks it up and
Don't smoke. You ought to eat. Cursed dog I met. (to Zoe) You
have ZOE Is he hungry? STEPHEN (extends his hand to her smiling and chants to the air of the bloodoath
in Hangende Hunger,
ZOE (tragically) Hamlet, I am thy father's gimlet! (she takes
his hand) Blue LYNCH Zoe) Who taught you palmistry? ZOE
face. The eye, like that. (she frowns with lowered head) LYNCH (laughing, slaps Kitty behind twice) Like that. Pandybat. . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . (Twice loudly a pandybat cracks, the coffin of the pianola flies
open, FATHER DOLAN Any boy want flogging? Broke his glasses? Lazy idle little schemer.
See it in
rises from the pianola coffin.) DON JOHN CONMEE Now, Father Dolan! Now. I'm sure that Stephen is a very good little boy! . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . ZOE (examining Stephen's palm) Woman's hand. STEPHEN (murmurs) Continue. Lie. Hold me. Caress. I never could read
His ZOE
STEPHEN Thursday. Today. ZOE Thursday's child has far to go. (she traces lines on his hand)
Line of fate. FLORRY (pointing) Imagination. ZOE Mount of the moon. You'll meet with a .... (she peers at his hands
abruptly)
BLOOM (detaches her fingers and offers his palm) More harm than good.
Here. BELLA Show. (she turns up Bloom's hand) I thought so. Knobby knuckles
for the ZOE (peering at Bloom's palm) Gridiron. Travels beyond the sea and
marry
Wrong. ZOE (quickly) O, I see. Short little finger. Henpecked husband. That wrong? . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . (Black Liz, a huge rooster hatching in a chalked circle, rises, BLACK LIZ Gara. Klook. Klook. Klook. (she sidles from her newlaid egg and waddles | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . BLOOM
twentytwo years ago. I was sixteen. ZOE I see, says the blind man. Tell us news. STEPHEN See? Moves to one great goal. I am twentytwo. Sixteen years ago he was (Zoe whispers to Florry. They giggle. Bloom releases his hand and FLORRY What? . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . (A hackneycar, number three hundred and twentyfour, with a THE BOOTS
have you the horn? (Bronze by gold they whisper.) ZOE (to Florry) Whisper. (she whispers again) (Over the well of the car Blazes Boylan leans, his boater straw set LENEHAN
quims? BOYLAN (sated, smiles) Plucking a turkey. LENEHAN A good night's work. BOYLAN (holding up four thick bluntungulated fingers, winks) Blazes
Kate! Up to LENEHAN
ZOE AND FLORRY (laugh together) Ha ha ha ha. BOYLAN (jumps surely from the car and calls loudly for all to hear)
Hello, Bloom! BLOOM (in flunkey's prune plush coat and kneebreeches, buff stockings and Keep to the right, right, right. If there is a signpost planted by the
Touring BOYLAN
hat smartly on a peg of Bloom 's antlered head) Show me in. I have a little private business with your wife, you understand? BLOOM Thank you, sir. Yes, sir. Madam Tweedy is in her bath, sir. Keep to the right, right, right. If there is a signpost planted by the
Touring Keep to the right, right, right. If there is a signpost planted by the
Touring Keep to the right, right, right. If there is a signpost planted by the
Touring Keep to the right, right, right. If there is a signpost planted by the
Touring Keep to the right, right, right. If there is a signpost planted by the
Touring Keep to the right, right, right. If there is a signpost planted by the
Touring MARION He ought to feel himself highly honoured. (she plops splashing out
of the BOYLAN
BELLA What? What is it? Keep to the right, right, right. If there is a signpost planted by the
Touring (Zoe whispers to her.) MARION Let him look, the pishogue! Pimp! And scourge himself! I'll write to
a
(clasps himself) Here, I can't hold this little lot much longer.
(he strides off BELLA (laughing) Ho ho ho ho. Keep to the right, right, right. If there is a signpost planted by the
Touring BOYLAN (to Bloom, over his shoulder) You can apply your eye to the keyhole
and BLOOM Thank you, sir. I will, sir. May I bring two men chums to witness the
deed
Orangeflower...? Lukewarm water...? KITTY (from the sofa) Tell us, Florry. Tell us. What ... (Florry whispers to her. Whispering lovewords murmur, liplapping
(her eyes upturned) O, it must be like the scent of geraniums
and lovely
LYDIA DOUCE (her mouth opening) Yumyum. O, he's carrying her round the room
doing KITTY (laughing) Hee hee hee. BOYLAN'S VOICE (sweetly, hoarsely, in the pit of his stomach) Ah! Godblazegruk-
(hoarsely, sweetly, rising to her throat) O! Weeshwashtkissinapoo- BLOOM (his eyes wildly dilated, clasps himself) Show! Hide! Show! Plough
her! BELLA, ZOE, FLORRY, KITTY Ho ho! Ha ha! Hee hee! LYNCH (points) The mirror up to nature. (he laughs) Hu hu hu hu hu!
Shakespeare, beardless, appears there, rigid in facial paralysis, crowned by the reflection of the reindeer antlered hatrack in the hall.) SHAKESPEARE (in dignified ventriloquy) 'Tis the loud laugh bespeaks the vacant
mind. (to BLOOM
ZOE Before you're twice married and once a widower. BLOOM Lapses are condoned. Even the great Napoleon when measurements were (Mrs Dignam, widow woman, her snubnose and cheeks flushed
Ah, ma, you're dragging me along!
Mamma, the beeftea is fizzing over! SHAKESPEARE (with paralytic rage) Weda seca whokilla farst. (The face of Martin Cunningham, bearded, refeatures MRS CUNNINGHAM
And they call me the jewel of Asia! MARTIN CUNNINGHAM (gazes on her, impassive) Immense! Most bloody awful demirep! . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . STEPHEN Et exaltabuntur cornua iusti. Queens lay with prize bulls. Remember
None of that here. Come to the wrong shop. LYNCH Let him alone. He's back from Paris. ZOE (runs to Stephen and links him) O go on! Give us some parleyvoo. (Stephen claps hat on head and leaps over to the fireplace where
he LYNCH
(gabbles with marionette jerks) Thousand places of entertainment
to
things mockery seen in universal world. All chic womans which arrive full of modesty then disrobe and squeal loud to see vampire man debauch nun very fresh young with dessous troublants. (he clacks his tongue loudly) Ho, la la! Ce pif qu'il a! LYNCH Vive le vampire! THE WHORES Bravo! Parleyvoo! STEPHEN
of laughing. Angels much prostitutes like and holy apostles big damn ruffians. Demimondaines nicely handsome sparkling of diamonds very amiable costumed. Or do you are fond better what belongs they moderns pleasure turpitude of old mans? (he points about him with grotesque gestures which Lynch and the whores reply to) Caoutchouc statue woman reversible or lifesize tompeeptom of virgins nudities very lesbic the kiss five ten times. Enter, gentleman, to see in mirror every positions trapezes all that machine there besides also if desire act awfully bestial butcher's boy pollutes in warm veal liver or omlet on the belly piece de Shakespeare.
(clapping her belly sinks back on the sofa, with a shout of laughter)
An STEPHEN (mincingly) I love you, sir darling. Speak you englishman tongue
for BELLA (laughing) Omelette....
(laughing) Encore! Encore! STEPHEN Mark me. I dreamt of a watermelon. ZOE Go abroad and love a foreign lady. LYNCH Across the world for a wife. FLORRY Dreams goes by contraries.
(extends his arms) It was here. Street of harlots. In Serpentine
avenue BLOOM (approaching Stephen) Look .... STEPHEN No, I flew. My foes beneath me. And ever shall be. World without end.
(he BLOOM I say, look...
Break my spirit, will he? O merde alors! (he cries, his vulture
talons | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . (Simon Dedalus' voice hilloes in answer, somewhat sleepy but SIMON That's all right. (he swoops uncertainly through the air, wheeling,
uttering them within the bawl of an ass. Head up! Keep our flag flying! An eagle
makes the beagle's call, giving tongue) Bulbul! Burblblburblbl! Hai, boy! (The fronds and spaces of the wallpaper file rapidly crosscountry.
Card of the races. Racing card!
Ten to one bar one! Sell the monkey, boys! Sell the monkey! I'll give ten to one! Ten to one bar one! (A dark horse, riderless, bolts like a phantom past the winningpost,
(jeering) Get down and push, mister. Last lap! You'll be home the night!
(bolt upright, his nailscraped face plastered with postagestamps,
brandishes (A yoke of buckets leopards all over him and his rearing nag a THE GREEN LODGES Soft day, sir John! Soft day, your honour! . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . (Private Carr, Private Compton and Cissy Caffrey pass beneath the | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . STEPHEN Hark! Our friend noise in the street.
(holds up her hand) Stop! . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . PRIVATE CARR, PRIVATE COMPTON AND CISSY CAFFREY Yet I've a sort of a | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . ZOE That's me. (she claps her hands) Dance! Dance! (she runs to
the pianola) BLOOM Who'll ...? LYNCH
STEPHEN (cracking his fingers impatiently) Quick! Quick! Where's my augur's
rod? ZOE (turns the drumhandle) There. (She drops two pennies in the slot. Gold, pink and violet lights
start | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
.
stained Inverness cape, bent in two from incredible age, totters across the room, his hands fluttering. He sits tinily on the pianostool and lifts and beats handless sticks of arms on the keyboard, nodding with damsel's grace, his bowknot bobbing) | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . ZOE (twirls round herself, heeltapping) Dance. Anybody here for there? (The pianola with changing lights plays in waltz time the prelude | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
.
spinning to his crown and jauntyhatted skates in. He wears a slate frockcoat with claret silk lapels, a gorget of cream tulle, a green lowcut waistcoat, stock collar with white kerchief, tight lavender trousers, patent pumps and canary gloves. In his buttonhole is an immense dahlia. He twirls in reversed directions a clouded cane, then wedges it tight in his oxter. He places a hand lightly on his
MAGINNI The poetry of motion, art of calisthenics. No connection with Madam (The prelude ceases. Professor Goodwin, beating vague arms | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
.
. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . THE PIANOLA Two young fellows were talking about their girls, girls, girls, | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . (From a corner the morning hours run out, goldhaired,
noon follow in amber gold. Laughing, linked, high haircombs MAGINNI
(The morning and noon hours waltz in their places, turning, HOURS You may touch my. CAVALIERS May I touch your? HOURS
CAVALIERS O, so lightly! . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . THE PIANOLA My little shy little lass has a waist. . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
.
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
.
their cheeks delicate with cipria and false faint bloom. They are in grey gauze with dark bat sleeves that flutter in the landbreeze.)
MAGINNI
and twilight hours retreat before them. They are masked, with daggered hair and bracelets of dull bells. Weary they curchycurchy under veils.)
THE BRACELETS Heigho! Heigho! . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . ZOE (twirling, her hand to her brow) O! . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . MAGINNI
(Arabesquing wearily they weave a pattern on the floor, weaving, | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . ZOE I'm giddy! (She frees herself, droops on a chair. Stephen seizes Florry and | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . MAGINNI Boulangre! Les ronds! Les ponts! Chevaux de bois! Escargots! (Twining, receding, with interchanging hands the night hours link MAGINNI
Dansez avec vos dames! Changez de dames! Donnez le petit bouquet a votre =|MAGa|= | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . THE PIANOLA Best, best of all, | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . KITTY (jumps up) O, they played that on the hobbyhorses at the Mirus bazaar! (She runs to Stephen. He leaves Florry brusquely and seizes
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
.
room right roundabout the room.) | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . THE PIANOLA My girl's a Yorkshire girl. . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . ZOE Yorkshire through and through. Come on all! (She seizes Florry and waltzes her.) STEPHEN Pas seul! (He wheels Kitty into Lynch's arms, snatches up his ashplant from | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
.
frogsplits in middle highkicks with skykicking mouth shut hand clasp part under thigh. With clang tinkle boomhammer tallyho hornblower blue green yellow flashes Toft's cumbersome turns with hobbyhorse riders from gilded snakes dangled, bowels fandango leaping spurn soil foot and fall again.) . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . THE PIANOLA Though she's a factory lass
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
.
scootlootshoot lumbering by. Baraabum!) . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . TUTTI Encore! Bis! Bravo! Encore! . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . SIMON Think of your mother's people! . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . STEPHEN Dance of death. . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . (Bang fresh barang bang of lacquey's bell, horse, nag, steer, . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . The couples fall aside. Stephen whirls giddily. Room whirls back. STEPHEN Ho! . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . (Stephen's mother, emaciated, rises stark through the floor, in leper THE CHOIR Liliata rutilantium te confessorum (From the top of a tower Buck Mulligan, in particoloured jester's BUCK MULLIGAN She's beastly dead. The pity of it! Mulligan meets the afflicted mother.
(he
(with the subtle smile of death's madness) I was once the beautiful
May STEPHEN (horrorstruck) Lemur, who are you? No. What bogeyman's trick is this? BUCK MULLIGAN (shakes his curling capbell) The mockery of it! Kinch dogsbody
killed her THE MOTHER
must go through it, Stephen. More women than men in the world. You too. Time will come. STEPHEN (choking with fright, remorse and horror) They say I killed you,
mother. THE MOTHER (a green rill of bile trickling from a side of her mouth) You
sang that song STEPHEN
all men. THE MOTHER Who saved you the night you jumped into the train at Dalkey with Paddy STEPHEN The ghoul! Hyena! THE MOTHER
every night after your brainwork. Years and years I loved you, O, my son, my firstborn, when you lay in my womb. . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . ZOE (fanning herself with the gratefan) I'm melting! FLORRY (points to Stephen) Look! He's white. BLOOM (goes to the window to open it more) Giddy. . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . THE MOTHER
STEPHEN (panting) His noncorrosive sublimate! The corpsechewer! Raw head
and THE MOTHER (her face drawing near and nearer, sending out an ashen breath) Beware! (A green crab with malignant red eyes sticks deep its grinning claws | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
.
(strangled with rage, his features drawn grey and old) Shite! BLOOM (at the window) What? STEPHEN Ah non, par exemple! The intellectual imagination! With me all
or not at FLORRY Give him some cold water. Wait. (she rushes out) . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . THE MOTHER
have mercy on him! Save him from hell, O Divine Sacred Heart! STEPHEN No! No! No! Break my spirit, all of you, if you can! I'll bring you
all to THE MOTHER (in the agony of her deathrattle) Have mercy on Stephen, Lord,
for my | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . STEPHEN (He lifts his ashplant high with both hands and smashes the | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
.
. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . THE GASJET Pwfungg! . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . BLOOM Stop! LYNCH (rushes forward and seizes Stephen's hand) Here! Hold on! Don't
run
BELLA Police! (Stephen, abandoning his ashplant, his head and arms thrown back BELLA (screams) After him! (The two whores rush to the halldoor. Lynch and Kitty and Zoe THE WHORES (jammed in the doorway, pointing) Down there. ZOE (pointing) There. There's something up. BELLA Who pays for the lamp? (she seizes Bloom's coattail) Here, you
were with BLOOM (rushes to the hall, rushes back) What lamp, woman?
He tore his coat. BELLA (her eyes hard with anger and cupidity, points) Who's to pay
for that? Ten BLOOM (snatches up Stephen's ashplant) Me? Ten shillings? Haven't you
lifted BELLA (loudly) Here, none of your tall talk. This isn't a brothel.
A tenshilling
BLOOM (His head under the lamp, pulls the chain. Puling, the gasjet lights
up a BELLA (shrinks back and screams) Jesus! Don't! BLOOM (warding off a blow) To show you how he hit the paper. There's
not
(with a glass of water, enters) Where is he? BELLA Do you want me to call the police? BLOOM O, I know. Bulldog on the premises. But he's a Trinity student. Patrons
of BELLA
paying nothing. Are you my commander here or? Where is he? I'll charge him! Disgrace him, I will! (she shouts) Zoe! Zoe! BLOOM (urgently) And if it were your own son in Oxford? (warningly) I know. BELLA (almost speechless) Who are. Incog! ZOE (in the doorway) There's a row on. BLOOM
chimney. Where? I need mountain air. (He hurries out through the hall. The whores point. Florry follows, | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
.
with sideways face. Incog Haroun Al Raschid he flits behind the silent lechers and hastens on by the railings with fleet step of a pard strewing the drag behind him, torn envelopes drenched in aniseed. The ashplant marks his stride. A pack of bloodhounds, led by Hornblower of Trinity brandishing a dogwhip in tallyho cap and an old pair of grey trousers, follow from fir, picking up the scent, nearer, baying, panting, at fault, breaking away, throwing their
gallops, lugs laid back. He is pelted with gravel, cabbagestumps, biscuitboxes, eggs, potatoes, dead codfish, woman's slipperslappers. After him freshfound the hue and cry zigzag gallops in hot pursuit of follow my leader: 65 C, 66 C, night watch, John Henry Menton, Wisdom Hely, VB Dillon, Councillor Nannetti, Alexander Keyes, Larry O'Rourke, Joe Cuffe Mrs O'Dowd, Pisser Burke, the Nameless One, Mrs Riordan, the Citizen, Garryowen, Whodoyoucallhim, Strangeface, Fellowthatsolike, Sawhimbefore, Chapwithawen, Chris Callinan, sir Charles Cameron, Benjamin
Brayden, T. M. Healy, Mr Justice Fitzgibbon, John Howard Parnell, the reverend Tinned Salmon, Professor Joly, Mrs Breen, Denis Breen, Theodore Purefoy, Mina Purefoy, the Westland Row postmistress, C. P. M'Coy, friend of Lyons, Hoppy Holohan, maninthestreet, othermaninthestreet, Footballboots, pugnosed driver, rich protestant lady, Davy Byrne, Mrs Ellen M'Guinness, Mrs Joe Gallaher, George Lidwell, Jimmy Henry on corns,
(helterskelterpelterwelter) He's Bloom! Stop Bloom! Stopabloom! | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . (At the corner of Beaver street beneath the scaffolding Bloom | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . STEPHEN (with elaborate gestures, breathing deeply and slowly) You are
my guests.
PRIVATE CARR (to Cissy Caffrey) Was he insulting you? STEPHEN Addressed her in vocative feminine. Probably neuter. Ungenitive. VOICES No, he didn't. I seen him. The girl there. He was in Mrs Cohen's. What's CISSY CAFFREY I was in company with the soldiers and they left me to do, you know,
and
me though I'm only a shilling whore. VOICES Shesfaithfultheman. . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . STEPHEN (catches sight of Lynch's and Kitty's heads) Hail, Sisyphus.
(he points to | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . CISSY CAFFREY Yes, to go with him. And me with a soldier friend. PRIVATE COMPTON
PRIVATE CARR (to Cissy) Was he insulting you while me and him was having a piss? LORD TENNYSON (gentleman poet in Union Jack blazer and cricket flannels, bareheaded, PRIVATE COMPTON Biff him, Harry. STEPHEN (to Private Compton) I don't know your name but you are quite
right.
is synechdoche. Part for the whole. CISSY CAFFREY (to the crowd) No, I was with the privates. STEPHEN (amiably) Why not? The bold soldier boy. In my opinion every
lady for PRIVATE CARR (his cap awry, advances to Stephen) Say, how would it be, governor,
if I
(looks up to the sky) How? Very unpleasant. Noble art of selfpretence. DOLLY GRAY (from her balcony waves her handkerchief, giving the sign of the
heroine of (The soldiers turn their swimming eyes.) | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
.
(elbowing through the crowd, plucks Stephen's sleeve vigorously)
Come STEPHEN (turns) Eh? (he disengages himself) Why should I not speak
to him or to BLOOM (propping him) Retain your own.
(laughs emptily) My centre of gravity is displaced. I have forgotten
the | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . BIDDY THE CLAP Did you hear what the professor said? He's a professor out of the college. CUNTY KATE I did. I heard that.
He expresses himself with such marked refinement of phraseology. CUNTY KATE Indeed, yes. And at the same time with such apposite trenchancy. PRIVATE CARR (pulls himself free and comes forward) What's that you're saying
about (Edward the Seventh appears in an archway. He wars a white EDWARD THE SEVENTH (slowly, solemnly but indistinctly) Peace, perfect peace. For
identification,
Private Compton, Stephen, Bloom and Lynch) (General applause. Edward the Seventh lifts his bucket graciously PRIVATE CARR (to Stephen) Say it again. STEPHEN (nervous, friendly, pulls himself up) I understand your point
of view
Not that I wish it for you. But I say: Let my country die for me. Up to the present it has done so. I didn't want it to die. Damn death. Long live life! EDWARD THE SEVENTH (levitates over heaps of slain, in the garb and with the halo of
Joking Jesus, My methods are new and are causing surprise. STEPHEN Kings and unicorns! (he fills back a pace) Come somewhere and
we'll...
PRIVATE COMPTON Eh, Harry, give him a kick in the knackers. Stick one into Jerry. BLOOM (to the privates, softly) He doesn't know what he's saying. Taken
a little STEPHEN (nods, smiling and laughing) Gentleman, patriot, scholar and
judge of
I don't give a bugger who he is. PRIVATE COMPTON We don't give a bugger who he is. STEPHEN I seem to annoy them. Green rag to a bull. (Kevin Egan of Paris in black Spanish tasselled shirt and KEVIN EGAN H'lo! Bonjour! The vieille ogresse with the dents jaunes. (Patrice Egan peeps from behind, his rabbitface nibbling a quince
PATRICE Socialiste! DON EMILE PATRIZ1O FRANZ RUPERT POPE HENNESSY (in medieval hauberk, two wild geese volant on his helm, with noble BLOOM (to Stephen) Come home. You'll get into trouble. STEPHEN
BIDDY THE CLAP One immediately observes that he is of patrician lineage. THE VIRAGO Green above the red, says he. Wolfe Tone. THE BAWD The red's as good as the green. And better. Up the soldiers! Up King A ROUGH (laughs) Ay! Hands up to De Wet.
(with a huge emerald muffler and shillelagh, calls) May the God above THE CROPPY BOY (the ropenoose round his neck, gripes in his issuing bowels with
both I bear no hate to a living thing, RUMBOLD, DEMON BARBER (accompanied by two blackmasked assistants, advances with gladstone
bag
him downward, grunting The croppy boy's tongue protrudes violently.) THE CROPPY BOY Horhot ho hray hor hother's hest. (He gives up the ghost. A violent erection of the hanged sends gouts
I'm near it myself. (he undoes the noose) Rope which hanged the
awful EDWARD THE SEVENTH (dances slowly, solemnly, rattling his bucket, and sings with soft On coronation day, on coronation day,
Drinking whisky, beer and wine! PRIVATE CARR Here. What are you saying about my king? STEPHEN (throws up his hands) O, this is too monotonous! Nothing. He
wants my PRIVATE CARR
STEPHEN (tries to move off) Will someone tell me where I am least likely
to meet (The women's heads coalesce. Old Gummy Granny in sugarloaf
STEPHEN
farrow! OLD GUMMY GRANNY (rocking to and fro) Ireland's sweetheart, the king of Spain's
daughter, STEPHEN How do I stand you? The hat trick! Where's the third person of the Blessed
(shrill) Stop them from fighting! A ROUGH Our men retreated. PRIVATE CARR (tugging at his belt) I'll wring the neck of any fucker says
a word against BLOOM (terrified) He said nothing. Not a word. A pure misunderstanding. PRIVATE COMPTON
STEPHEN Did I? When? BLOOM (to the redcoats) We fought for you in South Africa, Irish missile
troops. THE NAVVY (staggering past) O, yes! O God, yes! O, make the kwawr a krowawr!
O! (Casqued halberdiers in armour thrust forward a pentice of gutted bearskin cap with hackleplume and accoutrements, with epaulettes, MAJOR TWEEDY (growls gruffly) Rorke's Drift! Up, guards, and at them! Mahar
shalal THE CITIZEN Erin go bragh!
decorations, trophies of war, wounds. Both salute with fierce hostility.) PRIVATE CARR I'll do him in. PRIVATE COMPTON (moves the crowd back) Fair play, here. Make a bleeding butcher's
shop of (Massed bands blare Garryowen and God save the king.) CISSY CAFFREY
CUNTY KATE The brave and the fair. BIDDY THE CLAP Methinks yon sable knight will joust it with the best. CUNTY KATE (blushing deeply) Nay, madam. The gules doublet and merry saint
George STEPHEN The harlot's cry from street to street
PRIVATE CARR (loosening his belt, shouts) I'll wring the neck of any fucking
bastard says BLOOM (shakes Cissy Caffrey's shoulders) Speak, you! Are you struck
dumb? You CISSY CAFFREY (alarmed, seizes Private Carr's sleeve) Amn't I with you? Amn't
I your
STEPHEN (ecstatically, to Cissy Caffrey) White thy fambles, red thy gan VOICES Police! DISTANT VOICES Dublin's burning! Dublin's burning! On fire, on fire! (Brimstone fires spring up. Dense clouds roll past. Heavy Gatling spring up from furrows. They exchange in amity the pass of knights FATHER MALACHI O'FLYNN Introibo ad altare diaboli. THE REVEREND MR HAINES LOVE To the devil which hath made glad my young days.
(takes from the chalice and elevates a blooddripping host) Corpus
meum. THE REVEREND MR HAINES LOVE (raises high behind the celebrant's petticoat, revealing his grey
bare hairy THE VOICE OF ALL THE DAMNED Htengier Tnetopinmo Dog Drol eht rof, Aiulella! (From on high the voice of Adonai calls.) ADONAI
THE VOICE OF ALL THE BLESSED Alleluia, for the Lord God Omnipotent reigneth! (From on high the voice of Adonai calls.) ADONAI Goooooooooood! (In strident discord peasants and townsmen of Orange and Green PRIVATE CARR (with ferocious articulation) I'll do him in, so help me fucking
Christ! I'll
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . (The retriever, nosing on the fringe of the crowd, barks noisily.) BLOOM (runs to Lynch) Can't you get him away? LYNCH He likes dialectic, the universal language. Kitty! (to Bloom)
Get him away, (He drags Kitty away.) STEPHEN (points) Exit Judas. Et laqueo se suspendit.
(runs to Stephen) Come along with me now before worse happens.
Here's STEPHEN Stick, no. Reason. This feast of pure reason. . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . OLD GUMMY GRANNY (thrusts a dagger towards Stephen's hand) Remove him, acushla.
At CISSY CAFFREY
forgive him. (shouting in his ear) I forgive him for insulting me. . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . BLOOM (over Stephen's shoulder) Yes, go. You see he's incapable. . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . PRIVATE CARR (breaks loose) I'll insult him. (He rushes towards Stephen, fist outstretched, and strikes him in
(loudly) Carbine in bucket! Cease fire! Salute! THE RETRIEVER (barking furiously) Ute ute ute ute ute ute ute ute. THE CROWD Let him up! Don't strike him when he's down! Air! Who? The soldier hit A HAG What call had the redcoat to strike the gentleman and he under the
Listen to who's talking! Hasn't the soldier a right to go with his girl?
He (They grab at each other's hair, claw at each other and spit) THE RETRIEVER (barking) Wow wow wow. . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . BLOOM (shoves them back, loudly) Get back, stand back! . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . PRIVATE COMPTON (tugging his comrade) Here. Bugger off, Harry. Here's the cops! . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
.
FIRST WATCH What's wrong here? . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . PRIVATE COMPTON We were with this lady. And he insulted us. And assaulted my chum. (the CISSY CAFFREY (with expectation) Is he bleeding! . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . A MAN (rising from his knees) No. Gone off. He'll come to all right.
(glances sharply at the man) Leave him to me. I can easily ..... SECOND WATCH Who are you? Do you know him? . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . PRIVATE CARR (lurches towards the watch) He insulted my lady friend. . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . BLOOM (angrily) You hit him without provocation. I'm a witness. Constable,
take SECOND WATCH
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . PRIVATE COMPTON (pulling his comrade) Here, bugger off Harry. Or Bennett'll shove
you in PRIVATE CARR (staggering as he is pulled away) God fuck old Bennett. He's
a whitearsed | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . FIRST WATCH (takes out his notebook) What's his name? BLOOM
second, sergeant.... FIRST WATCH Name and address. (Corny Kelleher, weepers round his hat, a death wreath in his hand, BLOOM (quickly) O, the very man! (he whispers) Simon Dedalus'
son. A bit SECOND WATCH
CORNY KELLEHER (to the watch, with drawling eye) That's all right. I know him.
Won a bit FIRST WATCH (turns to the crowd) Here, what are you all gaping at? Move on
out of (The crowd disperses slowly, muttering, down the lane.) CORNY KELLEHER
We were often as bad ourselves, ay or worse. What? Eh, what? FIRST WATCH (laughs) I suppose so. CORNY KELLEHER (nudges the second watch) Come and wipe your name off the slate.
(he SECOND WATCH (genially) Ah, sure we were too.
(winking) Boys will be boys. I've a car round there. SECOND WATCH All right, Mr Kelleher. Good night. CORNY KELLEHER I'll see to that. BLOOM (shakes hands with both of the watch in turn) Thank you very
much,
FIRST WATCH O. I understand, sir. SECOND WATCH That's all right, sir. FIRST WATCH It was only in case of corporal injuries I'd have to report it at the station. BLOOM (nods rapidly) Naturally. Quite right. Only your bounden duty. SECOND WATCH
CORNY KELLEHER Good night, men. THE WATCH (saluting together) Night, gentlemen. (They move off with slow heavy tread) BLOOM (blows) Providential you came on the scene. You have a car...? CORNY KELLEHER (laughs, pointing his thumb over his right shoulder to the car brought
up BLOOM I was just going home by Gardiner street when I happened to ... CORNY KELLEHER (laughs) Sure they wanted me to join in with the mots. No, by
God, says I.
BLOOM (tries to laugh) He, he, he! Yes. Matter of fact I was just visiting
an old (The horse neighs.) | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . THE HORSE Hohohohohohoh! Hohohohome! . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . CORNY KELLEHER
commercials in Mrs Cohen's and I told him to pull up and got off to see. (he laughs) Sober hearsedrivers a speciality. Will I give him a lift home? Where does he hang out? Somewhere in Cabra, what? BLOOM No, in Sandycove, I believe, from what he let drop. (Stephen, prone, breathes to the stars. Corny Kelleher, asquint, CORNY KELLEHER (scratches his nape) Sandycove! (he bends down and calls to
Stephen)
they didn't lift anything off him. BLOOM No, no, no. I have his money and his hat here and stick. CORNY KELLEHER Ah, well, he'll get over it. No bones broken. Well, I'll shove along.
(he | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . THE HORSE (neighs) Hohohohohome. . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . BLOOM
(Corny Kelleher returns to the outside car and mounts it. The CORNY KELLEHER (from the car, standing) Night. BLOOM Night. (The jarvey chucks the reins and raises his whip encouragingly. BLOOM Eh! Ho! (There is no answer. He bends again.) Mr Dedalus! (there
is no STEPHEN (frowns) Who? Black panther. Vampire. (he sighs and stretches
himself, Who... drive... Fergus now (He turns on his left side, sighing, doubling himself together.) BLOOM Poetry. Well educated. Pity. (he bends again and undoes the buttons ofStephen's waistcoat) To breathe. (he brushes the woodshavings from Stephen's clothes with light hand and fingers) One pound seven. Not hurt anyhow. (he listens) What? STEPHEN
.... shadows ... the woods (He stretches out his arms, sighs again and curls his body. Bloom, BLOOM (communes with the night) Face reminds me of his poor mother.
In the | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| . (Silent, thoughtful, alert he stands on guard, his fingers at his
lips in
(wonderstruck, calls inaudibly) Rudy! RUDY (gazes, unseeing, into Bloom's eyes and goes on reading, kissing,
smiling |