O Lord couldnt he say bottom
right out and have done with it what has that got to do with it and did
you
whatever way he put it
I forget no father
and I always think of the real
father what did he want to know for when I already confessed it to God
he
had a nice fat hand the palm moist always I wouldnt mind feeling it neither
would he Id say by the bullneck in his horsecollar I wonder did he know
me
in the box I could see his face he couldnt see mine of course hed never
turn
or let on still his eyes were red when his father died theyre lost for
a woman
of course must be terrible when a man cries let alone them Id like to be
embraced by one in his vestments and the smell of incense off him like
the
who knows is there anything the matter with my insides or have I
something growing in me getting that thing like that every week when was
it
last I Whit Monday yes its only about 3 weeks
I
knew what was coming next only natural weakness it was he excited me I
dont know how the first night ever we met when I was living in Rehoboth
terrace we stood staring at one another for about lo minutes as if we met
somewhere I suppose on account of my being jewess looking after my
mother he used to amuse me the things he said with the half sloothering
smile on him and all the Doyles said he was going to stand for a member
of
Parliament O wasnt I the born fool to believe all his blather about home
rule and the land league sending me that long strool of a song out of the
Huguenots to sing in French to be more classy O beau pays de la Touraine
that I never even sang once explaining and rigmaroling about religion and
persecution
too with his big square feet up in his wifes mouth damn this stinking
thing
anyway wheres this those napkins are ah yes I know I hope the old press
doesnt creak ah I knew it would hes sleeping hard had a good time
somewhere still she must have given him great value for his money of course
he has to pay for it from her
yes that was why I liked him because I saw
he
understood or felt what a woman is and I knew I could always get round
him and I gave him all the pleasure I could leading him on till he asked
me
to say yes and I wouldnt answer first only looked out over the sea and
the
sky I was thinking of so many things he didnt know of Mulvey and Mr
Stanhope and Hester and father and old captain Groves and the sailors
playing all birds fly and I say stoop and washing up dishes they called
it on
the pier and the sentry in front of the governors house with the thing
round
his white helmet poor devil half roasted and the Spanish girls laughing
in
their shawls and their tall combs and the auctions in the morning the
Greeks and the jews and the Arabs and the devil knows who else from all
the ends of Europe
and Duke street and the fowl market all clucking
outside Larby Sharons and the poor donkeys slipping half asleep and the
vague fellows in the cloaks asleep in the shade on the steps and the big
wheels of the carts of the bulls and the old castle thousands of years
old yes
and those handsome Moors all in white and turbans like kings asking you
to sit down in their little bit of a shop and Ronda with the old windows
of
the posadas 2 glancing eyes a lattice hid for her
lover to kiss the iron and
the wineshops half open at night and the castanets and the night we missed
the boat at Algeciras the watchman going about serene with his lamp
and
O
that awful deepdown torrent O and the sea the sea crimson sometimes like
fire and the glorious sunsets and the figtrees in the Alameda gardens