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will-o'-the-wisps and danger signals. Rows of grimy houses with gaping doors. Rare lamps with faint rainbow fins. Round Rabaiotti's halted ice gondola stunted men and women squabble. They grab wafers between which are wedged lumps of coral and copper snow. Sucking, they scatter slowly, children. The swancomb of the gondola, highreared, forges on through the murk, white and blue under a lighthouse. Whistles call and answer.)
THE ANSWER Round behind the stable. (A deafmute idiot with goggle eyes, his shapeless mouth dribbling, THE CHILDREN Kithogue! Salute! THE IDIOT (lifts a palsied left arm and gurgles) Ghahute!
Where's the great light? THE IDIOT (gobbling) Ghaghahest. (They release him. He jerks on. A pigmy woman swings on a rope
a rubbishtip crouches to shoulder a sack of rags and bones. A crone standing by with a smoky oillamp rams her last bottle in the maw of
hobbles off mutely. The crone makes back for her lair, swaying her lamp. A bandy child, asquat on the doorstep with a paper shuttlecock, crawls sidling after her in spurts, clutches her skirt, scrambles up. A drunken navvy grips with both hands the railings of an area, lurching heavily. At a comer two night watch in shouldercapes, their hands upon their staffholsters, loom tall. A plate crashes: a woman screams: a child wails. Oaths of a man roar, mutter, cease. Figures wander, lurk, peer from warrens. In a room lit by a candle stuck in a bottleneck a slut combs out the tatts
young, sings shrill from a lane.) CISSY CAFFREY I gave it to Molly (Private Carr and Private Compton, swaggersticks tight in their THE VIRAGO Signs on you, hairy arse. More power the Cavan girl. CISSY CAFFREY More luck to me. Cavan, Cootehill and Belturbet. (she sings) I gave it to Nelly | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
. (Private Carr and Private Compton turn and counterretort, their PRIVATE COMPTON (jerks his finger) Way for the parson. PRIVATE CARR (turns and calls) What ho, parson! . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
. CISSY CAFFREY (her voice soaring higher)
The leg of the duck. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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the introit for paschal time. Lynch, his jockeycap low on his brow, attends him, a sneer of discontent wrinkling his face.) STEPHEN | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
. (The famished snaggletusks of an elderly bawd protrude from a THE BAWD
inside. Sst! . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
. STEPHEN | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
. THE BAWD (spits in their trail her jet of venom) Trinity medicals. Fallopian
tube. All (Edy Boardman, sniffling, crouched with Bertha Supple, draws her EDY BOARDMAN
squarepusher, the greaser off the railway, in his cometobed hat. Did you, says I. That's not for you to say, says I. You never seen me in the mantrap with a married highlander, says I. The likes of her! Stag that one is! Stubborn as a mule! And her walking with two fellows the one time, Kilbride, the enginedriver, and lancecorporal Oliphant. . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
. STEPHEN (triumphaliter) Salvi facti sunt. (He flourishes his ashplant, shivering the lamp image, shattering LYNCH So that? STEPHEN (looks behind) So that gesture, not music not odour, would be
a universal LYNCH Pornosophical philotheology. Metaphysics in Mecklenburgh street! STEPHEN
allwisest Stagyrite was bitted, bridled and mounted by a light of love. LYNCH Ba! STEPHEN Anyway, who wants two gestures to illustrate a loaf and a jug? This LYNCH Damn your yellow stick. Where are we going?
Lecherous lynx, to la belle dame sans merci, Georgina Johnson,
ad deam qui (Stephen thrusts the ashplant on him and slowly holds out his LYNCH Which is the jug of bread? It skills not. That or the customhouse. Illustrate
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clasps to climb. The navvy lurches against the lamp. The twins scuttle off in the dark. The navvy, swaying, presses a forefinger against a wing of his nose and ejects from the farther nostril a long liquid jet of snot. Shouldering the lamp he staggers away through the crowd with his flaring cresset. Snakes of river fog creep slowly. From drains, clefts, cesspools, middens arise on all sides stagnant fumes. A glow leaps in the south beyond the seaward reaches of the river. The navvy, staggering
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panting, cramming bread and chocolate into a sidepocket. From Gillen's hairdresser's window a composite portrait shows him gallant Nelson 's image. A concave mirror at the side presents to him lovelorn longlost lugubru Booloohoom. Grave Gladstone sees him level, Bloom for Bloom. He passes, struck by the stare of truculent Wellington, but in the convex mirror grin unstruck the bonham eyes and fatchuck cheekchops of jollypoldy the rixdix doldy. At Antonio Rabaiotti's door Bloom halts, sweated under the bright
on.) BLOOM (He disappears into Olhausen's, the porkbutcher's, under the
Stitch in my side. Why did I run? (He takes breath with care and goes forward slowly towards the BLOOM What is that? A flasher? Searchlight. (He stands at Cormack's corner, watching) BLOOM
anyhow. Big blaze. Might be his house. Beggar's bush. We're safe. (he hums cheerfully) London's burning, London's burning! On fire, on fire! (he catches sight of the navvy lurching through the crowd at the farther side of Talbot street) I'll miss him. Run. Quick. Better cross here. (He darts to cross the road. Urchins shout.) THE URCHINS Mind out, mister! (Two cyclists, with lighted paper lanterns aswing, swim by him, | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Haltyaltyaltyall. . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
. BLOOM (halts erect, stung by a spasm) Ow! (He looks round, darts forward suddenly. Through rising fog a | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
. THE GONG Bang Bang Bla Bak Blud Bugg Bloo. . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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whitegloved hand, blunders stifflegged out of the track. The motorman, thrown forward, pugnosed, on the guidewheel, yells as he slides past over chains and keys.) THE MOTORMAN Hey, shitbreeches, are you doing the hat trick? (Bloom trickleaps to the curbstone and halts again. He brushes a
BLOOM No thoroughfare. Close shave that but cured the stitch. Must take up
accident too. The Providential. (he feels his trouser pocket) Poor mamma's panacea. Heel easily catch in track or bootlace in a cog. Day the wheel of the black Maria peeled off my shoe at Leonard's corner. Third time is the charm. Shoe trick. Insolent driver. I ought to report him. Tension makes them nervous. Might be the fellow balked me this morning with that horsey woman. Same style of beauty. Quick of him all the same. The stiff walk. True word spoken in jest. That awful cramp in Lad lane. Something poisonous I ate. Emblem of luck. Why? Probably lost cattle. Mark of the beast. (he closes his eyes an instant) Bit light in the head.
for me now. Ow! . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
. (A sinister figure leans on plaited legs against O'Beirne's wall,
a BLOOM Buenas noches, senorita Blanca. Que calle es esta? THE FIGURE (impassive, raises a signal arm) Password. Sraid Mabbot. BLOOM
by that fireeater. (He steps forward. A sackshouldered ragman bars his path. He BLOOM I beg. (He leaps right, sackragman right.) BLOOM I beg. (He swerves, sidles, stepaside, slips past and on.)
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Keep to the right, right, right. If there is a signpost planted by the
Touring | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
. (Jacky Caffrey, hunted by Tommy Caffrey, runs full tilt against | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
. BLOOM
(Shocked, on weak hams, he halts. Tommy and Jacky vanish BLOOM Beware of pickpockets. Old thieves' dodge. Collide. Then snatch your (The retriever approaches sniffing, nose to the ground. . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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caftan of an elder in Zion and a smokingcap with magenta tassels.
poison streaks are on the drawn face.) RUDOLPH Second halfcrown waste money today. I told you not go with drunken goy BLOOM (hides the crubeen and trotter behind his back and, crestfallen,
feels warm RUDOLPH What you making down this place? Have you no soul? (with feeble vulture
BLOOM (with precaution) I suppose so, father. Mosenthal. All that's left of him. RUDOLPH (severely) One night they bring you home drunk as dog after spend
your BLOOM (in youth's smart blue Oxford suit with white vestslips, narrowshouldered, RUDOLPH Once! Mud head to foot. Cut your hand open. Lockjaw. They make you BLOOM (weakly) They challenged me to a sprint. It was muddy. I slipped. RUDOLPH (with contempt) Goim nachez! Nice spectacles for your poor mother!
Mamma! ELLEN BLOOM (in pantomime dame's stringed mobcap, widow Twankey's crinoline and
(Bloom, mumbling, his eyes downcast, begins to bestow his parcels A VOICE (sharply) Poldy! BLOOM Who? (he ducks and wards off a blow clumsily) At your service. (He looks up. Beside her mirage of datepalms a handsome woman BLOOM Molly! MARION Welly? Mrs Marion from this out, my dear man, when you speak to me. BLOOM (shifts from foot to foot) No, no. Not the least little bit. (He breathes in deep agitation, swallowing gulps of air, questions, MARION Nebrakada! Femininum! (The camel, lifting a foreleg, plucks from a tree a large mango fruit, BLOOM I can give you ... I mean as your business menagerer .. Mrs Marion .....
if MARION So you notice some change? (her hands passing slowly over her trinketed
I was just going back for that lotion whitewax, orangeflower water.
Shop (He points to the south, then to the east. A cake of new clean lemon THE SOAP We're a capital couple are Bloom and I. (The freckled face of Sweny, the druggist, appears in the disc of
the SWENY Three and a penny, please. BLOOM Yes. For my wife. Mrs Marion. Special recipe. MARION (softly) Poldy! BLOOM Yes, ma'am? MARION
(In disdain she saunters away, humming the duet from Don BLOOM Are you sure about that Voglio? I mean the pronunciati .... . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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THE BAWD Ten shillings a maidenhead. Fresh thing was never touched. Fifteen.
There's
Bridie Kelly stands.)
BRIDIE Hatch street. Any good in your mind? (With a squeak she flaps her bat shawl and runs. A burly rough THE BAWD (her wolfeyes shining) He's getting his pleasure. You won't get
a virgin in
(Leering, Gerty MacDowell limps forward. She draws from behind, GERTY With all my worldly goods I thee and thou. (she murmurs) You
did that. I BLOOM l? When? You're dreaming. I never saw you. THE BAWD Leave the gentleman alone, you cheat. Writing the gentleman false letters.
the bedpost, hussy like you. GERTY (to Bloom) When you saw all the secrets of my bottom drawer.
(she paws (She glides away crookedly. Mrs Breen in man's frieze overcoat MRS BREEN Mr ...
(coughs gravely) Madam, when we last had this pleasure by letter
dated
MRS BREEN Mr Bloom! You down here in the haunts of sin! I caught you nicely! BLOOM (hurriedly) Not so loud my name. Whatever do you think of me?
Don't
Rescue of fallen women. Magdalen asylum. I am the secretary ..... MRS BREEN (holds up a finger) Now, don't tell a big fib! I know somebody
won't like BLOOM (looks behind) She often said she'd like to visit. Slumming.
The exotic, you
(Tom and Sam Bohee, coloured coons in white duck suits, scarlet TOM AND SAM (They whisk black masks from raw babby faces: then, chuckling, BLOOM (with a sour tenderish smile) A little frivol, shall we, if you
are so inclined?
(screams gaily) O, you ruck! You ought to see yourself! BLOOM For old sake' sake. I only meant a square party, a mixed marriage mingling MRS BREEN Glory Alice, you do look a holy show! Killing simply. (she puts out
her
(seizes her wrist with his free hand) Josie Powell that was,
prettiest deb in MRS BREEN You were the lion of the night with your seriocomic recitation and you BLOOM
badge in his buttonhole, black bow and mother-of-pearl studs, a prismatic champagne glass tilted in his hand) Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Ireland, home and beauty. MRS BREEN The dear dead days beyond recall. Love's old sweet song. BLOOM (meaningfully dropping his voice) I confess I'm teapot with curiosity
to MRS BREEN
all over me! (she rubs sides with him) After the parlour mystery games and the crackers from the tree we sat on the staircase ottoman. Under the mistletoe. Two is company. BLOOM (wearing a purple Napoleon hat with an amber halfmoon, his fingers
and
(in a onepiece evening frock executed in moonlight blue, a tinsel
sylph's BLOOM When you made your present choice they said it was beauty and the beast.
I (Denis Breen, whitetallhatted, with Wisdom Hely's sandwich- ALF BERGAN (points jeering at the sandwichboards) U. p: up. MRS BREEN (to Bloom) High jinks below stairs. (she gives him the glad
eye) Why BLOOM
MRS BREEN (her pulpy tongue between her lips, offers a pigeon kiss) Hnhn.
The BLOOM (offhandedly) Kosher. A snack for supper. The home without potted
meat (Richie Goulding, three ladies' hats pinned on his head, appears RICHIE Best value in Dub. (Bald Pat, bothered beetle, stands on the curbstone, folding his PAT (advances with a tilted dish of spillspilling gravy) Steak and
kidney. Bottle
RICHIE Goodgod. Inev erate inall .... (With hanging head he marches doggedly forward The navvy, RICHIE (with a cry of pain, his hand to his back) Ah! Bright's! Lights! BLOOM (points to the navvy) A spy. Don't attract attention. I hate
stupid crowds. I
Humbugging and deluthering as per usual with your cock and bull story. BLOOM I want to tell you a little secret about how I came to be here. But
you must MRS BREEN (all agog) O, not for worlds. BLOOM Let's walk on. Shall us?
MRS BREEN
(The bawd makes an unheeded sign. Bloom walks on with Mrs THE BAWD Jewman's melt! BLOOM (in an oatmeal sporting suit, a sprig of woodbine in the lapel, tony
buff
together to Fairyhouse races, was it? MRS BREEN (in smart Saxe tailormade, white velours hat and spider veil)
Leopards- BLOOM I mean, Leopardstown. And Molly won seven shillings on a three year
old
eleven, a bit of wire and an old rag of velveteen, and I'll lay you what you like she did it on purpose .... MRS BREEN She did, of course, the cat! Don't tell me! Nice adviser! BLOOM Because it didn't suit you one quarter as well as the other ducky little
MRS BREEN (squeezes his arm, simpers) Naughty cruel I was!
BLOOM (low, secretly, ever more rapidly) And Molly was eating a sandwich
of MRS BREEN Too .... BLOOM
mimicking a cock as we passed a farmhouse and Marcus Tertius Moses, the tea merchant, drove past us in a gig with his daughter, Dancer Moses was her name, and the poodle in her lap bridled up and you asked me if I ever heard or read or knew or came across .... MRS BREEN (eagerly) Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
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towards hellsgates. In an archway a standing woman, bent forward, her feet apart, pisses cowily. Outside a shuttered pub a bunch of
with raucous humour. An armless pair of them flop wrestling, growling, in maimed sodden playfight.) THE GAFFER (crouches, his voice twisted in his snout) And when Cairns came
down THE LOITERERS (guffaw with cleft palates) O jays! . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
. BLOOM Coincidence too. They think it funny. Anything but that. Broad daylight. . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
. THE LOITERERS Jays, that's a good one. Glauber salts. O jays, into the men's porter. (Bloom passes. Cheap whores, singly, coupled, shawled, dishevelled, THE WHORES
How's your middle leg? Got a match on you? Eh, come here till I stiffen it for you. (He plodges through their sump towards the lighted street beyond. THE NAVVY (belching) Where's the bloody house?
Purdon street. Shilling a bottle of stout. Respectable woman. THE NAVVY (gripping the two redcoats, staggers forward with them) Come
on, you PRIVATE CARR (behind his back) He aint half balmy. PRIVATE COMPTON (laughs) What ho! PRIVATE CARR
THE NAVVY (shouts) We are the boys.
PRIVATE COMPTON Say! What price the sergeantmajor? PRIVATE CARR Bennett? He's my pal. I love old Bennett. THE NAVVY
The galling chain. (He staggers forward, dragging them with him. . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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BLOOM Wildgoose chase this. Disorderly houses. Lord knows where they are gone.
for? Still, he's the best of that lot. If I hadn't heard about Mrs Beaufoy Purefoy I wouldn't have gone and wouldn't have met. Kismet. He'll lose that cash. Relieving office here. Good biz for cheapjacks, organs. What do ye lack? Soon got, soon gone. Might have lost my life too with that man- gongwheeltracktrolleyglarejuggernaut only for presence of mind. Can't always save you, though. If I had passed Truelock's window that day two minutes later would have been shot. Absence of body. Still if bullet only went through my coat get damages for shock, five hundred pounds. What was he? Kildare street club toff. God help his gamekeeper.
and a phallic design.) Odd! Molly drawing on the frosted carriagepane at Kingstown. What's that like? . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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of the sicksweet weed floats towards him in slow round ovalling wreaths.) THE WREATHS Sweet are the sweets. Sweets of sin. . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
. BLOOM My spine's a bit limp. Go or turn? And this food? Eat it and get all
(The retriever drives a cold snivelling muzzle against his hand, wagging his tail.) Strange how they take to me. Even that brute today. Better speak to him first. Like women they like rencontres. Stinks like a polecat. Chacun son got. He might be mad. Dogdays. Uncertain in his movements. Good fellow! Fido! Good fellow! Garryowen! (The wolfdog sprawls on his back, wriggling obscenely with begging paws, his long black tongue lolling out.) Influence of his surroundings. Give and have done with it. Provided nobody. (Calling encouraging words he shambles back with a furtive poacher's tread, dogged by the setter into a dark stalestunk corner. He
feels the trotter.) Sizeable for threepence. But then I have it in my left hand. Calls for more effort. Why? Smaller from want of use. O, let it slide. Two and six. (With regret he lets the unrolled crubeen and trotter slide. The | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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THE WATCH Bloom. Of Bloom. For Bloom. Bloom.
FIRST WATCH Caught in the act. Commit no nuisance. BLOOM (stammers) I am doing good to others. (A covey of gulls, storm petrels, rises hungrily from Liffey slime THE GULLS Kaw kave kankury kake. BLOOM
(He points. Bob Doran, toppling from a high barstool, sways over BOB DORAN Towser. Give us the paw. Give the paw. (The bulldog growls, his scruff standing, a gobbet of pig's knuckle
SECOND WATCH Prevention of cruelty to animals.
(enthusiastically) A noble work! I scolded that tramdriver on
Harold's (Signor Maffei, passionpale, in liontamer's costume with diamond
SIGNOR MAFFEI
was I broke in the bucking broncho Ajax with my patent spiked saddle for carnivores. Lash under the belly with a knotted thong. Block tackle and a strangling pulley will bring your lion to heel, no matter how fractious, even Leo ferox there, the Libyan maneater. A redhot crowbar and some liniment rubbing on the burning part produced Fritz of Amsterdam, the thinking hyena. (he glares) I possess the Indian sign. The glint of my eye does it with these breastsparklers. (with a bewitching smile) I now introduce Mademoiselle Ruby, the pride of the ring. FIRST WATCH
BLOOM I have forgotten for the moment. Ah, yes! (he takes off his high
grade hat, FIRST WATCH Proof. (A card falls from inside the leather headband of Bloom's hat.) BLOOM
of the Legion of Honour, picks up the card hastily and offers it) Allow me. My club is the Junior Army and Navy. Solicitors: Messrs John Henry Menton, 27 Bachelor's Walk.
(reads) Henry Flower. No fixed abode. Unlawfully watching and SECOND WATCH An alibi. You are cautioned.
(produces from his heartpocket a crumpled yellow flower) This
is the
(A dark mercurialised face appears, leading a veiled figure.) THE DARK MERCURY The Castle is looking for him. He was drummed out of the army. MARTHA (thickveiled, a crimson halter round her neck, a copy of the Irish
Times in FIRST WATCH (sternly) Come to the station.
(scared, hats himself, steps back, then, plucking at his heart and
lifting his
medical men. By striking him dead with a hatchet. I am wrongfully accused. Better one guilty escape than ninetynine wrongfully condemned. MARTHA (sobbing behind her veil) Breach of promise. My real name is
Peggy
BLOOM (behind his hand) She's drunk. The woman is inebriated. (he
murmurs SECOND WATCH (tears in his eyes, to Bloom) You ought to be thoroughly well
ashamed of BLOOM Gentlemen of the jury, let me explain. A pure mare's nest. I am a man
the daughter of a most distinguished commander, a gallant upstanding gentleman, what do you call him, Majorgeneral Brian Tweedy, one of Britain's fighting men who helped to win our battles. Got his majority for the heroic defence of Rorke's Drift. FIRST WATCH Regiment. BLOOM (turns to the gallery) The royal Dublins, boys, the salt of the
earth, known
homes, the pluckiest lads and the finest body of men, as physique, in the service of our sovereign. A VOICE Turncoat! Up the Boers! Who booed Joe Chamberlain? BLOOM (his hand on the shoulder of the first watch) My old dad too
was a J. P.
nozzle again the bank. FIRST WATCH Profession or trade. BLOOM Well, I follow a literary occupation, author-journalist. In fact we
are just (Myles Crawford strides out jerkily, a quill between his teeth. His MYLES CRAWFORD (his cock's wattles wagging) Hello, seventyseven eightfour. Hello. (Mr Philip Beaufoy, palefaced, stands in the witnessbox, in accurate
(drawls) No, you aren't. Not by a long shot if I know it. I don't
see it
(murmurs with hangdog meekness glum) That bit about the laughing BEAUFOY (his lip upcurled, smiles superciliously on the court) You funny
ass, you!
BLOOM (indistinctly) University of life. Bad art. BEAUFOY (shouts) It's a damnably foul lie, showing the moral rottenness
of the man! A VOICE FROM THE GALLERY BLOOM (bravely) Overdrawn. BEAUFOY You low cad! You ought to be ducked in the horsepond, you rotter! (to
the
archconspirator of the age! BLOOM (to the court) And he, a bachelor, how...
The King versus Bloom. Call the woman Driscoll. THE CRIER Mary Driscoll, scullerymaid! (Mary Driscoll, a slipshod servant girl, approaches. She has a SECOND WATCH Another! Are you of the unfortunate class? MARY DRISCOLL (indignantly) I'm not a bad one. I bear a respectable character
and was
chances with Fridays out and I had to leave owing to his carryings on.
FIRST WATCH What do you tax him with? MARY DRISCOLL He made a certain suggestion but I thought more of myself as poor as I am. BLOOM (in housejacket of ripplecloth, flannel trousers, heelless slippers,
unshaven,
MARY DRISCOLL (excitedly) As God is looking down on me this night if ever I
laid a hand to FIRST WATCH The offence complained of? Did something happen? MARY DRISCOLL He surprised me in the rere of the premises, Your honour, when the missus
BLOOM She counterassaulted. MARY DRISCOLL (scornfully) I had more respect for the scouringbrush, so I had.
I (General laughter.) GEORGE FOTTRELL (clerk of the crown and peace, resonantly) Order in court! The
accused
begins a long unintelligible speech. They would hear what counsel had to say in his stirring address to the grand jury. He was down and out but, though branded as a black sheep, if he might say so, he meant to reform, to retrieve the memory of the past in a purely sisterly way and return to nature as a purely domestic animal. A
sevenmonths' child, he had been carefully brought up and nurtured (Renewed laughter. He mumbles incoherently. Reporters complain LONGHAND AND SHORTHAND (without looking up from their notebooks) Loosen his boots. PROFESSOR MACHUGH
(The crossexamination proceeds re Bloom and the bucket. A
large
(in barrister's grey wig and stuffgown, speaking with a voice of
pained aberration of heredity, brought on by hallucination, such familiarities as the alleged guilty occurrence being quite permitted in my client's native place, the land of the Pharaoh. Prima facie, I put it to you that there was no
complained of by Driscoll, that her virtue was solicited, was not repeated. I would deal in especial with atavism. There have been cases of shipwreck and somnambulism in my client's family. If the accused could speak he could a tale unfold - one of the strangest that have ever been narrated between the covers of a book. He himself, my lord, is a physical wreck from cobbler's weak chest. His submission is that he is of Mongolian extraction and irresponsible for his actions. Not all there, in fact. BLOOM (Barefoot, pigeonbreasted, in lascar's vest and trousers, apologetic
toes Li li poo lil chile (He is howled down.) J. J. O'MOLLOY (hotly to the populace) This is a lonehand fight. By Hades, I
will not have
and laughing hyenas. The Mosaic code has superseded the law of the jungle. I say it and I say it emphatically, without wishing for one moment to defeat the ends of justice, accused was not accessory before the act and prosecutrix has not been tampered with. The young person was treated by defendant as if she were his very own daughter. (Bloom takes J. J. O'Molloy's hand and raises it to his lips) I shall call rebutting evidence to prove up to the hilt that the hidden hand is again at its old game. When in doubt persecute Bloom. My client, an innately bashful man, would be the last man in the world to do anything ungentlemanly which injured modesty
some dastard, responsible for her condition, had worked his own sweet will on her. He wants to go straight. I regard him as the whitest man I know. He is down on his luck at present owing to the mortgaging of his extensive property at Agendath Netaim in faraway Asia Minor, slides of which will
now be shown. (to Bloom) I suggest that you will do the handsome thing.
BLOOM A penny in the pound. (The image of the lake of Kinnereth with blurred cattle cropping
in DLUGACZ (hoarsely) Bleibtreustrasse, Berlin, W. 13. (J. J. O'Molloy steps on to a low plinth and holds the lapel of his
(almost voicelessly) Excuse me. I am suffering from a severe
chill, have (A paper with something written on it is handed into court.)
BLOOM
Wisdom Hely J. P. My old chief Joe Cuffe. Mr V. B. Dillon, ex lord mayor of Dublin. I have moved in the charmed circle of the highest .... Queens of Dublin society. (carelessly) I was just chatting this afternoon at the viceregal lodge to my old pals, sir Robert and lady Ball, astronomer royal at the levee. Sir Bob, I said ...... MRS YELVERTON BARRY (in lowcorsaged opal balldress and elbowlength ivory gloves, wearing
a
Tipperary on the Munster circuit, signed James Lovebirch. He said that he had seen from the gods my peerless globes as I sat in a box of the Theatre Royal at a command performance of La Cigale. I deeply inflamed him, he said. He made improper overtures to me to misconduct myself at half past four p.m. on the following Thursday, Dunsink time. He offered to send me through the post a work of fiction by Monsieur Paul de Kock, entitled The Girl with the Three Pairs of Stays. MRS BELLINGHAM (in cap and seal coney mantle, wrapped up to the nose, steps out
of her MRS YELVERTON BARRY
(A crowd of sluts and ragamuffins surges forward)
(screaming) Stop thief! Hurrah there, Bluebeard! Three cheers
for Ikey SECOND WATCH (produces handcuffs) Here are the darbies. MRS BELLINGHAM
Venus in furs and alleged profound pity for my frostbound coachman Palmer while in the same breath he expressed himself as envious of his earflaps and fleecy sheepskins and of his fortunate proximity to my person, when standing behind my chair wearing my livery and the armorial bearings of the Bellingham escutcheon garnished sable, a buck's head couped or. He lauded almost extravagantly my nether extremities, my swelling calves in silk hose drawn up to the limit, and eulogised glowingly my other hidden treasures in priceless lace which, he said, he could conjure up. He urged me (stating that he felt it his mission in life to urge me) to
opportunity.
THE HONOURABLE MRS MERVYN TALBOYS (in amazon costume, hard hat, jackboots cockspurred, vermilion waistcoat,
hackney car and sent me in double envelopes an obscene photograph, such as are sold after dark on Paris boulevards, insulting to any lady. I have it still. It represents a partially nude senorita, frail and lovely (his wife, as he solemnly assured me, taken by him from nature), practising illicit intercourse with a muscular torero, evidently a blackguard. He urged me to do likewise, to misbehave, to sin with officers of the garrison. He implored me to soil his letter in an unspeakable manner, to chastise him as he richly deserves, to bestride and ride him, to give him a most vicious horsewhipping.
Me too. MRS YELVERTON BARRY Me too. (Several highly respectable Dublin ladies hold up improper letters THE HONOURABLE MRS MERVYN TALBOYS (stamps her jingling spurs in a sudden paroxysm of fury) I will,
by the
(his eyes closing, quails expectantly) Here? (he squirms)
Again! (he pants THE HONOURABLE MRS MERVYN TALBOYS Very much so! I'll make it hot for you. I'll make you dance Jack Latten
for MRS BELLINGHAM Tan his breech well, the upstart! Write the stars and stripes on it! MRS YELVERTON BARRY Disgraceful! There's no excuse for him! A married man! BLOOM
without effusion. Refined birching to stimulate the circulation. THE HONOURABLE MRS MERVYN TALBOYS (laughs derisively) O, did you, my fine fellow? Well, by the
living God, MRS BELLINGHAM (shakes her muff and quizzing-glasses vindictively) Make him
smart,
BLOOM (shuddering, shrinking, joins his hands: with hangdog mien) O
cold! O MRS YELVERTON BARRY (severely) Don't do so on any account, Mrs Talboys! He should
be THE HONOURABLE MRS MERVYN TALBOYS (unbuttoning her gauntlet violently) I'll do no such thing. Pigdog
and
black and blue in the public streets. I'll dig my spurs in him up to the rowel. He is a wellknown cuckold. (she swishes her huntingcrop savagely in the air) Take down his trousers without loss of time. Come here, sir! Quick! Ready? BLOOM (trembling, beginning to obey) The weather has been so warm. (Davy Stephens, ringletted, passes with a bevy of barefoot
DAVY STEPHEN S
Day supplement. Containing the new addresses of all the cuckolds in Dublin. (The very reverend Canon O'Hanlon in cloth of gold cope elevates THE TIMEPIECE (unportalling)
(The brass quoits of a bed are heard to jingle.) THE QUOITS Jigjag. Jigajiga. Jigjag. (A panel of fog rolls back rapidly, revealing rapidly in the jurybox THE NAMELESS ONE
THE JURORS (all their heads turned to his voice) Really? THE NAMELESS ONE (snarls) Arse over tip. Hundred shillings to five. THE JURORS (all their heads lowered in assent) Most of us thought as much. FIRST WATCH He is a marked man. Another girl's plait cut. Wanted: Jack the Ripper.
A
(awed, whispers) And in black. A mormon. Anarchist. THE CRIER (loudly) Whereas Leopold Bloom of no fixed abode is a wellknown (His Honour, sir Frederick Falkiner, recorder of Dublin, in judicial
I will put an end to this white slave traffic and rid Dublin of this
odious
John Fanning appears, smoking a pungent Henry Clay.) LONG JOHN FANNING (scowls and calls with rich rolling utterance) Who'll hang Judas Iscariot? (H. Rumbold, master barber, in a bloodcoloured jerkin and RUMBOLD (to the recorder with sinister familiarity) Hanging Harry, your
Majesty,
(The bells of George's church toll slowly, loud dark iron.) THE BELLS Heigho! Heigho! BLOOM (desperately) Wait. Stop. Gulls. Good heart. I saw. Innocence.
Girl in the
(coldly) You are a perfect stranger. SECOND WATCH (points to the corner) The bomb is here. FIRST WATCH Infernal machine with a time fuse. BLOOM No, no. Pig's feet. I was at a funeral. FIRST WATCH (draws his truncheon) Liar!
Paddy Dignam. He has gnawed all. He exhales a putrid carcasefed breath. He grows to human size and shape. His dachshund coat becomes a brown mortuary habit His green eye flashes bloodshot Half of one ear, all the nose and both thumbs are ghouleaten.) PADDY DIGNAM (in a hollow voice) It is true. It was my funeral. Doctor Finucane (He lifts his mutilated ashen face moonwards and bays BLOOM (in triumph) You hear? PADDY DIGNAM Bloom, I am Paddy Dignam's spirit. List, list, O list! BLOOM The voice is the voice of Esau. SECOND WATCH (blesses himself) How is that possible? FIRST WATCH
PADDY DIGNAM By metempsychosis. Spooks. A VOICE O rocks. PADDY DIGNAM (earnestly) Once I was in the employ of Mr J. H. Menton, solicitor,
buttermilk didn't agree with me. (The portly figure of John O'Connell, caretaker, stands forth, FATHER COFFEY (yawns, then chants with a hoarse croak) Namine. Jacobs. Vobiscuits. JOHN O'CONNELL
PADDY DIGNAM (with pricked up ears, winces) Overtones. (he wriggles forward
and JOHN O'CONNELL Burial docket letter number U. P. eightyfive thousand. Field seventeen. (Paddy Dignam listens with visible effort, thinking, his tail PADDY DIGNAM
(He worms down through a coalhole, his brown habit trailing its TOM ROCHFORD (a hand to his breastbone, bows) Reuben J. A florin I find him.
(he fixes
(He executes a daredevil salmon leap in the air and is engulfed in | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
.
lighted house, listening. . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
.
THE KISSES (warbling) Leo! (twittering) Icky licky micky sticky for
Leo! (cooing)
(They rustle, flutter upon his garments, alight, bright giddy flecks, | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
. BLOOM A man's touch. Sad music. Church music. Perhaps here. (Zoe Higgins, a young whore in a sapphire slip, closed with three ZOE Are you looking for someone? He's inside with his friend. BLOOM
ZOE No, eightyone. Mrs Cohen's. You might go farther and fare worse. Mother BLOOM Not I! ZOE
(His skin, alert, feels her fingertips approach. A hand glides over ZOE How's the nuts? BLOOM Off side. Curiously they are on the right. Heavier, I suppose. One in
a ZOE (in sudden alarm) You've a hard chancre.
Not likely. ZOE I feel it. (Her hand slides into his left trouser pocket and brings out a hard BLOOM A talisman. Heirloom. ZOE For Zoe? For keeps? For being so nice, eh? (She puts the potato greedily into a pocket then links his arm, | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
.
her eyes, ringed with kohol. His smile softens.)
You'll know me the next time. BLOOM (forlornly) I never loved a dear gazelle but it was sure to .... (Gazelles are leaping, feeding on the mountains. Near are lakes. ZOE (murmuring singsong with the music, her odalisk lips lusciously smeared BLOOM (fascinated) I thought you were of good stock by your accent. ZOE And you know what thought did? (She bites his ear gently with little goldstopped teeth, sending
on BLOOM (draws back, mechanically caressing her right bub with a flat awkward ZOE (catches a stray hair deftly and twists it to her coil) No bloody
fear. I'm BLOOM (as before) Rarely smoke, dear. Cigar now and then. Childish
device.
weed. ZOE Go on. Make a stump speech out of it. . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
. BLOOM (in workman's corduroy overalls, black gansy with red floating tie
and
All our habits. Why, look at our public life! (Midnight chimes from distant steeples.) THE CHIMES Turn again, Leopold! Lord mayor of Dublin! BLOOM (in alderman's gown and chain) Electors of Arran Quay, Inns Quay,
AN ELECTOR Three times three for our future chief magistrate! (The aurora borealis of the torchlight procession leaps.) THE TORCHBEARERS Hooray! (Several wellknown burgesses, city magnates and freemen of the LATE LORD MAYOR HARRINGTON (in scarlet robe with mace, gold mayoral chain and large white silk
scarf) COUNCILLOR LORCAN SHERLOCK Carried unanimously. BLOOM
in their upholstered poop, casting dice, what reck they? Machines is their cry, their chimera, their panacea. Laboursaving apparatuses, supplanters, bugbears, manufactured monsters for mutual murder, hideous hobgoblins produced by a horde of capitalistic lusts upon our prostituted labour. The poor man starves while they are grassing their royal mountain stags or shooting peasants and phartridges in their purblind pomp of pelf and power. But their reign is rover for rever and ever and ev ... (Prolonged applause. Venetian masts, maypoles and festal arches
bootjack manufacturers, undertakers, silk mercers, lapidaries, salesmasters, corkcutters, assessors of fire losses, dyers and cleaners, export bottlers, fellmongers, ticketwriters, heraldic seal engravers, horse repository hands, bullion brokers, cricket and archery outfitters, riddlemakers, egg and potato factors, hosiers and glovers, plumbing contractors. After them march gentlemen of the bedchamber, Black Rod, Deputy Garter, Gold Stick, the master of horse, the lord great chamberlain, the earl marshal, the high constable carrying the sword of state, saint Stephen's iron crown,
reply, winding clarions of welcome. Under an arch of triumph Bloom appears, bareheaded, in a crimson velvet mantle trimmed with ermine, bearing Saint Edward's staff the orb and sceptre with the dove, the curtana. He is seated on a milkwhite horse with long flowing crimson tail, richly caparisoned, with golden headstall. Wild excitement. The ladies from their balconies throw down rosepetals. The air is perfumed with essences. The men cheer. Bloom's boys run amid the bystanders with branches of hawthorn and wrenbushes.)
The wren, the wren, A BLACKSMITH (murmurs) For the honour of God! And is that Bloom? He scarcely
looks A PAVIOR AND FLAGGER That's the famous Bloom now, the world's greatest reformer. Hats off!
A MILLIONAIRESS (richly) Isn't he simply wonderful? A NOBLEWOMAN (nobly) All that man has seen! A FEMINIST (masculinely) And done! A BELLHANGER A classic face! He has the forehead of a thinker. (Bloom's weather. A sunburst appears in the northwest.)
THE BISHOP OF DOWN AND CONNOR I here present your undoubted emperor-president and king-chairman, the ALL God save Leopold the First! BLOOM (in dalmatic and purple mantle, to the bishop of Down and Connor,
with
(in purple stock and shovel hat) Will you to your power cause
law and BLOOM (placing his right hand on his testicles, swears) So may the
Creator deal MICHAEL, ARCHBISHOP OF ARMAGH (pours a cruse of hairoil over Bloom's head) Gaudium magnum annuntio
(Bloom assumes a mantle of cloth of gold and puts on a ruby ring Mirus bazaar fireworks go up from all sides with symbolical THE PEERS I do become your liege man of life and limb to earthly worship.
diamond. His palfrey neighs. Immediate silence. Wireless intercontinental and interplanetary transmitters are set for reception of message.) BLOOM My subjects! We hereby nominate our faithful charger Copula Felix (The former morganatic spouse of Bloom is hastily removed in the JOHN HOWARD PARNELL (raises the royal standard) Illustrious Bloom! Successor to my
famous BLOOM (embraces John Howard Parnell) We thank you from our heart, John,
for
The keys of Dublin, crossed on a crimson cushion, are given to him. He shows all that he is wearing green socks.) TOM KERNAN You deserve it, your honour. BLOOM On this day twenty years ago we overcame the hereditary enemy at
Bonafide Sabaoth, sabred the Saracen gunners to a man. THE CHAPEL OF FREEMAN TYPESETTERS Hear! Hear! JOHN WYSE NOLAN There's the man that got away James Stephens. A BLUECOAT SCHOOLBOY Bravo! AN OLD RESIDENT You're a credit to your country, sir, that's what you are.
He's a man like Ireland wants. BLOOM My beloved subjects, a new era is about to dawn. I, Bloom, tell you
verily it (Thirtytwo workmen, wearing rosettes, from all the counties of THE SIGHTSEERS (dying) Morituri te salutant. (they die) (A man in a brown macintosh springs up through a trapdoor. He THE MAN IN THE MACINTOSH Don't you believe a word he says. That man is Leopold M'Intosh, the BLOOM Shoot him! Dog of a christian! So much for M'Intosh! (A cannonshot. The man in the macintosh disappears. Bloom with THE WOMEN Little father! Little father! THE BABES AND SUCKLINGS Clap clap hands till Poldy comes home, (Bloom, bending down, pokes Baby Boardman gently in the BABY BOARDMAN (hiccups, curdled milk flowing from his mouth) Hajajaja.
(shaking hands with a blind stripling) My more than Brother!
(placing his THE CITIZEN (choked with emotion, brushes aside a tear in his emerald muffler)
May the
hoisted.) BLOOM (uncloaks impressively, revealing obesity, unrolls a paper and reads (An official translation is read by Jimmy Henry, assistant town JIMMY HENRY
administer open air justice. Free medical and legal advice, solution of doubles and other problems. All cordially invited. Given at this our loyal city of Dublin in the year I of the Paradisiacal Era. PADDY LEONARD What am I to do about my rates and taxes? BLOOM Pay them, my friend. PADDY LEONARD Thank you.
Can I raise a mortgage on my fire insurance? BLOOM (obdurately) Sirs, take notice that by the law of torts you are
bound over J. J. O'MOLLOY A Daniel did I say? Nay! A Peter O'Brien! NOSEY FLYNN Where do I draw the five pounds? PISSER BURKE
BLOOM Acid. nit. hydrochlor. dil., 20 minims CHRIS CALLINAN What is the parallax of the subsolar ecliptic of Aldebaran? BLOOM Pleased to hear from you, Chris. K. II.
Why aren't you in uniform? BLOOM When my progenitor of sainted memory wore the uniform of the Austrian BEN DOLLARD Pansies? BLOOM Embellish (beautify) suburban gardens. BEN DOLLARD
BLOOM Father (pater, dad) starts thinking. LARRY O'ROURKE An eightday licence for my new premises. You remember me, sir Leo, when BLOOM (coldly) You have the advantage of me. Lady Bloom accepts no presents. CROFTON
BLOOM (solemnly) You call it a festivity. I call it a sacrament. ALEXANDER KEYES When will we have our own house of keys? BLOOM I stand for the reform of municipal morals and the plain ten
must now cease. General amnesty, weekly carnival with masked licence, bonuses for all, esperanto the universal language with universal brotherhood. No more patriotism of barspongers and dropsical impostors. Free money, free rent, free love and a free lay church in a free lay state. O'MADDEN BURKE Free fox in a free henroost. DAVY BYRNE (yawning) Iiiiiiiiiaaaaaaach! BLOOM
LENEHAN What about mixed bathing? (Bloom explains to those near him his schemes for social FATHER FARLEY He is an episcopalian, an agnostic, an anythingarian seeking to overthrow MRS RIORDAN (tears up her will) I'm disappointed in you! You bad man! MOTHER GROGAN (removes her boot to throw it at Bloom) You beast! You abominable
Give us a tune, Bloom. One of the old sweet songs. BLOOM (with rollicking humour) I vowed that I never would leave her, HOPPY HOLOHAN Good old Bloom! There's nobody like him after all. PADDY LEONARD
BLOOM What railway opera is like a tramline in Gibraltar? The Rows of Casteele. (Laughter.) LENEHAN Plagiarist! Down with Bloom! THE VEILED SIBYL (enthusiastically) I'm a Bloomite and I glory in it. I believe
in him in spite BLOOM
THEODORE PUREFOY (in fishingcap and oilskin jacket) He employs a mechanical device
to THE VEILED SIBYL (stabs herself) My hero god! (she dies) (Many most attractive and enthusiastic women also commit suicide ALEXANDER J DOWIE (violently) Fellowchristians and antiBloomites, the man called
Bloom is
boiling oil are for him. Caliban! THE MOB Lynch him! Roast him! He's as bad as Parnell was. Mr Fox! (Mother Grogan throws her boot at Bloom. Several shopkeepers BLOOM (excitedly) This is midsummer madness, some ghastly joke again.
By
is my double. He lives in number 2 Dolphin's Barn. Slander, the viper, has wrongfully accused me. Fellowcountrymen, sgeul i mbarr bata coisde gan capall. I call on my old friend, Dr Malachi Mulligan, sex specialist, to give medical testimony on my behalf. DR MULLIGAN (in motor jerkin, green motorgoggles on his brow) Dr Bloom is
bisexually
exhibitionism. Ambidexterity is also latent. He is prematurely bald from selfabuse, perversely idealistic in consequence, a reformed rake, and has metal teeth. In consequence of a family complex he has temporarily lost his memory and I believe him to be more sinned against than sinning. I have made a pervaginal examination and, after application of the acid test to 5427 anal, axillary, pectoral and pubic hairs, I declare him to be virgo intacta. (Bloom holds his high grade hat over his genital organs.)
Hypsospadia is also marked. In the interest of coming generations I
suggest DR CROTTHERS I have examined the patient's urine. It is albuminoid. Salivation is DR PUNCH COSTELLO The fetor judaicus is most perceptible. DR DIXON
womanly man. His moral nature is simple and lovable. Many have found him a dear man, a dear person. He is a rather quaint fellow on the whole, coy though not feebleminded in the medical sense. He has written a really beautiful letter, a poem in itself, to the court missionary of the Reformed Priests' Protection Society which clears up everything. He is practically a total abstainer and I can affirm that he sleeps on a straw litter and eats the most Spartan food, cold dried grocer's peas. He wears a hairshirt of pure Irish manufacture winter and summer and scourges himself every Saturday. He was, I understand, at one time a firstclass misdemeanant in
child. I appeal for clemency in the name of the most sacred word our vocal organs have ever been called upon to speak. He is about to have a baby. (General commotion and compassion. Women faint. A wealthy BLOOM O, I so want to be a mother.
(in nursetender's gown) Embrace me tight, dear. You'll be soon
over it. (Bloom embraces her tightly and bears eight male yellow and white A VOICE Bloom, are you the Messiah ben Joseph or ben David? BLOOM (darkly) You have said it. BROTHER BUZZ
BANTAM LYONS Prophesy who will win the Saint Leger. (Bloom walks on a net, covers his left eye with his left ear, passes BRINI, PAPAL NUNCIO (in papal zouave's uniform, steel cuirasses as breastplate, armplates,
and MacKay begat Ostrolopsky and Ostrolopsky begat Smerdoz and Smerdoz begat Weiss and Weiss begat Schwarz and Schwarz begat Adrianopoli and Adrianopoli begat Aranjuez and Aranjuez begat Lewy Lawson and Lewy Lawson begat Ichabudonosor and Ichabudonosor begat O'Donnell Magnus and O'Donnell Magnus begat Christbaum and Christbaum begat ben Maimun and ben Maimun begat Dusty Rhodes and Dusty Rhodes begat Benamor and Benamor begat Jones-Smith and Jones-Smith begat Savorgnanovich and Savorgnanovich begat Jasperstone and Jasperstone begat Vingtetunieme and Vingtetunieme begat
vocabitur nomen eius Emmanuel. A DEADHAND (writes on the wall) Bloom is a cod. CRAB (in bushranger's kit) What did you do in the cattlecreep behind A FEMALE INFANT (shakes a rattle) And under Ballybough bridge?
And in the devil's glen? BLOOM (blushes furiously all over from frons to nates, three tears filling
from his THE IRISH EVICTED TENANTS (in bodycoats, kneebreeches, with Donnybrook fair shillelaghs)
Sjambok (Bloom with asses' ears seats himself in the pillory with crossed THE ARTANE ORPHANS You hig, you hog, you dirty dog! THE PRISON GATE GIRLS If you see Kay
(in ephod and huntingcap, announces) And he shall carry the sins
of the (All the people cast soft pantomime stones at Bloom. Many bonafide
(George R Mesias, Bloom's tailor, appears, a tailor's goose under MESIAS To alteration one pair trousers eleven shillings. BLOOM (rubs his hands cheerfully) Just like old times. Poor Bloom! (Reuben J Dodd, blackbearded Iscariot, bad shepherd, bearing on
(whispers hoarsely) The squeak is out. A split is gone for the
flatties. Nip THE FIRE BRIGADE Pflaap! BROTHER BUZZ (Invests Bloom in a yellow habit with embroidery of painted flames
and (Lieutenant Myers of the Dublin Fire Brigade by general request THE CITIZEN Thank heaven! BLOOM (in a seamless garment marked I. H. S. stands upright amid phoenix (The daughters of Erin, in black garments, with large prayerbooks
Flower of the Bath, pray for us Mentor of Menton, pray for us Canvasser for the Freeman, pray for us Charitable Mason, pray for us Wandering Soap, pray for us Sweets of Sin, pray for us Music without Words, pray for us Reprover of the Citizen, pray for us Friend of all Frillies, pray for us
Potato Preservative against Plague and Pestilence, pray for us. (A choir of six hundred voices, conducted by Vincent O'Brien, | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
. ZOE Talk away till you're black in the face. BLOOM (in caubeen with clay pipe stuck in the band, dusty brogues, an emigrant's ZOE (stiffly, her finger in her neckfillet) Honest? Till the next
time. (she sneers)
best girl. O, I can read your thoughts! BLOOM (bitterly) Man and woman, love, what is it? A cork and bottle.
I'm sick of ZOE (in sudden sulks) I hate a rotter that's insincere. Give a bleeding
whore a BLOOM (repentantly) I am very disagreeable. You are a necessary evil.
Where are
ZOE (glibly) Hog's Norton where the pigs plays the organs. I'm Yorkshire BLOOM (smiles, nods slowly) More, houri, more. ZOE And more's mother? (she pats him offhandedly with velvet paws)
Are you
BLOOM (feeling his occiput dubiously with the unparalleled embarrassment
of a ZOE (flattered) What the eye can't see the heart can't grieve for.
(she pats him) BLOOM
ZOE Babby! BLOOM (in babylinen and pelisse, bigheaded, with a caul of dark hair, fixes
big eyes THE BUCKLES Love me. Love me not. Love me. ZOE
forefinger giving to his palm the passtouch of secret monitor, luring him to doom.) Hot hands cold gizzard. (He hesitates amid scents, music, temptations. She leads him THE MALE BRUTES (exhaling sulphur of rut and dung and ramping in their loosebox,
faintly | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
.
seated. They examine him curiously from under their pencilled brows and smile to his hasty bow. He trips awkwardly.) ZOE (her lucky hand instantly saving him) Hoopsa! Don't fall upstairs. BLOOM The just man falls seven times. (he stands aside at the threshold)
After you ZOE Ladies first, gentlemen after.
her hands, draws him over. He hops. On the antlered rack of the hall hang a man 's hat and waterproof. Bloom uncovers himself but, seeing them, frowns, then smiles, preoccupied. A door on the return landing is flung open. A man in purple shirt and grey trousers, brownsocked, passes with an ape's gait, his bald head and goatee beard upheld, hugging a full waterjugjar, his twotailed black braces dangling at heels. Averting his face quickly Bloom bends to examine on the halltable the spaniel eyes of a running fox: then, his lifted head sniffing, follows Zoe into the musicroom. A shade of mauve
moth flies, colliding, escaping. The floor is covered with an oilcloth mosaic of jade and azure and cinnabar rhomboids. Footmarks are stamped over it in all senses, heel to heel, heel to hollow, toe to toe, feet locked, a morris of shuffling feet without body phantoms, all
in
hand, sits perched on the edge of the table swinging her leg and glancing at herself in the gilt mirror over the mantelpiece. A tag of her corsetlace hangs slightly below her jacket Lynch indicates mockingly the couple at the piano.) KITTY (coughs behind her hand) She's a bit imbecillic. (she signs with
a waggling ZOE More limelight, Charley. (she goes to the chandelier and turns the
gas full KITTY (peers at the gasjet) What ails it tonight? LYNCH (deeply) Enter a ghost and hobgoblins. ZOE Clap on the back for Zoe.
at the pianola on which sprawl his hat and ashplant. With two fingers he repeats once more the series of empty fifths. Florry Talbot, a blond feeble goosefat whore in a tatterdemalion gown of mildewed strawberry, lolls spreadeagle in the sofacorner, her limp forearm pendent over the bolster, listening. A heavy stye droops over her sleepy eyelid.) KITTY (hiccups again with a kick of her horsed foot) O, excuse! ZOE
(Kitty Ricketts bends her head. Her boa uncoils, slides, glides over STEPHEN As a matter of fact it is of no importance whether Benedetto Marcello
found
saying Ceres' altar and David's tip from the stable to his chief bassoonist about the alrightness of his almightiness. Mais nom de nom, that is another pair of trousers. Jetez la gourme. Faut que jeunesse se passe. (he stops, points at Lynch's cap, smiles, laughs) Which side is your knowledge bump? . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
. THE CAP (with saturnine spleen) Ba! It is because it is. Woman's reason.
Jewgreek is STEPHEN You remember fairly accurately all my errors, boasts, mistakes. How
long
THE CAP Ba! STEPHEN Here's another for you. (he frowns) The reason is because the THE CAP Which? Finish. You can't. STEPHEN
with. The ultimate return. The octave. Which. THE CAP Which? . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
. (Outside the gramophone begins to blare The Holy City.) STEPHEN (abruptly) What went forth to the ends of the world to traverse
not itself,
LYNCH (with a mocking whinny of laughter grins at Bloom and Zoe Higgins) ZOE (briskly) God help your head, he knows more than you have forgotten. (With obese stupidity Florry Talbot regards Stephen.) FLORRY They say the last day is coming this summer. KITTY
ZOE (explodes in laughter) Great unjust God! FLORRY (offended) Well, it was in the papers about Antichrist. O, my
foot's | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
. (Ragged barefoot newsboys, jogging a wagtail kite, patter past, THE NEWSBOYS Stop press edition. Result of the rockinghorse races. Sea serpent in
the
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
. (Stephen turns and sees Bloom.) STEPHEN A time, times and half a time. . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
. (Reuben I Antichrist, wandering jew, a clutching hand open on his ALL What? THE HOBGOBLIN (his jaws chattering, capers to and fro, goggling his eyes, squeaking, FLORRY (sinking into torpor, crossing herself secretly) The end of the world! (A female tepid effluvium leaks out from her. Nebulous obscurity THE GRAMOPHONE
Open your gates and sing Hosanna .... (A rocket rushes up the sky and bursts. A white star fills from it, THE END OF THE WORLD
row? (Over the possing drift and choking breathcoughs, Elijah's voice,
No yapping, if you please, in this booth. Jake Crane, Creole Sue, Dove
mother you'll be there. Rush your order and you play a slick ace. Join on right here. Book through to eternity junction, the nonstop run. Just one word more. Are you a god or a doggone clod? If the second advent came to Coney Island are we ready? Florry Christ, Stephen Christ, Zoe Christ, Bloom Christ, Kitty Christ, Lynch Christ, it's up to you to sense that cosmic force. Have we cold feet about the cosmos? No. Be on the side of the angels. Be a prism. You have that something within, the higher self. You can rub shoulders with a Jesus, a Gautama, an Ingersoll. Are you all in this vibration? I say you are. You once nobble that, congregation, and a buck
sure. The hottest stuff ever was. It's the whole pie with jam in. It's just the cutest snappiest line out. It is immense, supersumptuous. It restores. It vibrates. I know and I am some vibrator. Joking apart and, getting down to bedrock, A. J. Christ Dowie and the harmonial philosophy, have you got that? O. K. Seventyseven west sixtyninth street. Got me? That's it. You call me up by sunphone any old time. Bumboosers, save your stamps. (he shouts) Now then our glory song. All join heartily in the singing. Encore! (he sings) Jeru .... THE GRAMOPHONE
gratingly against the needle) THE THREE WHORES (covering their ears, squawk) Ahhkkk! ELIJAH (in rolledup shirtsleeves, black in the face,shouts at the top of
his voice,his President. I certainly am thinking now Miss Higgins and Miss Ricketts got religion way inside them. Certainly seems to me I don't never see no wusser
you. Mr President, you come long and help me save our sisters dear. (he winks at his audience) Our Mr President, he twig the whole lot and he aint saying nothing. KITTY-KATE I forgot myself. In a weak moment I erred and did what I did on ZOE-FANNY
FLORRY-TERESA It was in consequence of a portwine beverage on top of Hennessy's three STEPHEN In the beginning was the word, in the end the world without end. Blessed
be (The beatitudes, Dixon, Madden, Crotthers, Costello, Lenehan,
(incoherently) Beer beef battledog buybull businum barnum buggerum LYSTER (in quakergrey kneebreeches and broadbrimmed hat, says discreetly)
He is (He corantos by. Best enters in hairdresser's attire, shinily
bristles a pigtail toupee tied with an orange topknot) I was just beautifying him, don't you know. A thing of beauty, don't you know, Yeats says, or I mean, Keats says. JOHN EGLINTON (produces a greencapped dark lantern and flashes it towards a corner:
with (In the cone of the searchlight behind the coalscuttle, ollave, MANANAUN MACLIR (with a voice of waves) Aum! Hek! Wal! Ak! Lub! Mor! Ma! White (A skeleton judashand strangles the light. The green light wanes
to THE GASJET Pooah! Pfuiiiiiii! . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
. (Zoe runs to the chandelier and, crooking her leg, adjusts the ZOE Who has a fag as I'm here? LYNCH (tossing a cigarette on to the table) Here. ZOE (her head perched aside in mock pride) Is that the way to hand
the pot to LYNCH I'm not looking ZOE (makes sheep's eyes) No? You wouldn't do a less thing. Would
you suck a (Squinting in mock shame she glances with sidelong meaning at | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
.
pink stilts. He is sausaged into several overcoats and wears a brown macintosh under which he holds a roll of parchment. In his left eye flashes the monocle of Cashel Boyle O'Connor Fitzmaurice Tisdall Farrell. On his head is perched an Egyptian pshent Two quills project over his ears.) VIRAG
coughs thoughtfully, drily) Promiscuous nakedness is much in evidence hereabouts, eh? Inadvertently her backview revealed the fact that she is not wearing those rather intimate garments of which you are a particular devotee. The injection mark on the thigh I hope you perceived? Good. BLOOM Granpapachi. But ..... VIRAG Number two on the other hand, she of the cherry rouge and coiffeuse
white,
to say. Correct me but I always understood that the act so performed by skittish humans with glimpses of lingerie appealed to you in virtue of its exhibitionististicicity. In a word. Hippogriff. Am I right? BLOOM She is rather lean. VIRAG (not unpleasantly) Absolutely! Well observed and those pannier
pockets of
dustspecks. Never put on you tomorrow what you can wear today. Parallax! (with a nervous twitch of his head) Did you hear my brain go snap? Pollysyllabax! BLOOM (an elbow resting in a hand, a forefinger against his cheek) She seems sad. VIRAG (cynically, his weasel teeth bared yellow, draws down his left eye
with a
genially) Well then, permit me to draw your attention to item number three. There is plenty of her visible to the naked eye. Observe the mass of oxygenated vegetable matter on her skull. What ho, she bumps! The ugly duckling of the party, longcasted and deep in keel. BLOOM (regretfully) When you come out without your gun. VIRAG We can do you all brands, mild, medium and strong. Pay your money, take
With ...? VIRAG (his tongue upcurling) Lyum! Look. Her beam is broad. She is
coated with
with fennygreek and gumbenjamin swamped down by potions of green tea endow them during their brief existence with natural pincushions of quite colossal blubber. That suits your book, eh? Fleshhotpots of Egypt to BLOOM The stye I dislike. VIRAG (arches his eyebrows) Contact with a goldring, they say. Argumentum
ad BLOOM (reflecting) Wheatenmeal with lycopodium and syllabax. This searching
(severely, his nose hardhumped, his side eye winking) Stop twirling
your BLOOM Rosemary also did I understand you to say or willpower over parasitic VIRAG
energetically) This book tells you how to act with all descriptive particulars. Consult index for agitated fear of aconite, melancholy of muriatic, priapic pulsatilla. Virag is going to talk about amputation. Our old friend caustic. They must be starved. Snip off with horsehair under the denned neck. But, to change the venue to the Bulgar and the Basque, have you made up your mind whether you like or dislike women in male habiliments? (with a dry snigger) You intended to devote an entire year to the study of the religious problem and the summer months of 1886 to square the circle and win that million. Pomegranate! From the sublime to
knickers, closed? Or, put we the case, those complicated combinations, camiknickers? (he crows derisively) Keekeereekee! veiled mauve light, hearing the everflying moth.) BLOOM I wanted then to have now concluded. Nightdress was never. Hence this. VIRAG
in reiterated coition, lured by the smell of the inferiorly pulchritudinous fumale possessing extendified pudendal nerve in dorsal region. Pretty Poll! (his yellow parrotbeak gabbles nasally) They had a proverb in the Carpathians in or about the year five thousand five hundred and fifty of our era. One tablespoonful of honey will attract friend Bruin more than half a dozen barrels of first choice malt vinegar. Bear's buzz bothers bees. But of this apart. At another time we may resume. We were very pleased, we others. (he coughs and, bending his brow, rubs his nose thoughtfully with a scooping hand) You shall find that these night insects follow the light. An
points see the seventeenth book of my Fundamentals of Sexology or the Love Passion which Doctor L. B. says is the book sensation of the year. Some, to example, there are again whose movements are automatic. Perceive. That is his appropriate sun. Nightbird nightsun nighttown. Chase me, Charley! (he blows into Bloom's ear) Buzz! BLOOM Bee or bluebottle too other day butting shadow on wall dazed self then
me VIRAG
his fly or mustard plaster on his dibble. (he gobbles gluttonously with turkey wattles) Bubbly jock! Bubbly jock! Where are we? Open Sesame! Cometh forth! (he unrolls his parchment rapidly and reads, his glowworm's nose running backwards over the letters which he claws) Stay, good friend. I bring thee thy answer. Redbank oysters will shortly be upon us. I'm the best o'cook. Those succulent bivalves may help us and the truffles of Perigord, tubers dislodged through mister omnivorous porker, were unsurpassed in cases of nervous debility or viragitis. Though they stink yet they sting. (he wags his head with cackling raillery) Jocular. With
BLOOM (absently) Ocularly woman's bivalve case is worse. Always open
sesame. VIRAG (his mouth projected in hard wrinkles, eyes stonily forlornly closed,
psalms BLOOM I am going to scream. I beg your pardon. Ah? So. (he repeats) VIRAG (head askew, arches his back and hunched wingshoulders, peers at
the
O, I much fear he shall be most badly burned. Will some pleashe pershon not now impediment so catastrophics mit agitation of firstclass tablenumpkin? (he mews) Puss puss puss puss! (he sighs, draws back and stares sideways down with dropping underjaw) Well, well. He doth rest anon. (he snaps his jaws suddenly on the air) THE MOTH I'm a tiny tiny thing
Now I do this kind of thing On the wing, on the wing! Bing! (he rushes against the mauve shade, flapping noisily) Pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty petticoats. (From left upper entrance with two gliding steps Henry Flower dulcimer and a longstemmed bamboo Jacob's pipe, its clay bowl
silverbuckled pumps. He has the romantic Saviour's face with flowing locks, thin beard and moustache. His spindlelegs and sparrow feet are those of the tenor Mario, prince of Candia. He settles down his goffered ruffs and moistens his lips with a passage of his amorous tongue.) HENRY (in a low dulcet voice, touching the strings of his guitar) There
is a flower (Virag truculent, his jowl set, stares at the lamp. Grave Bloom | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
.
==< End of first half of Chap.[15] >== |