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The diamond industry, the folks what brought you the ads with the shadows wearing assloads of ice, have rolled out a new campaign. This one wants to convince you you should buy diamonds for you, rather than insisting your husband give you one. It's got this right-hand, left-hand theme. "Your left hand rocks the cradle. Your right hand rules the world." (Boys and women like me who just don't care about marriage: The left hand's the one you wear your wedding ring on. Yup.) "Your left hand wants to be held. Your right hand wants to be held high." Props to the graphic designers from this campaign for displaying right hands held directly over crotches. Still and all... masturbating with a diamond ring on? Ow!
"The [campaign] is empowering to women," says Lowell Kwiat, the president of Kwiat, a jewelry manufacturer. "It was like smiling and saying 'Right on!'" More like smiling and saying "Gimme your life savings!" All total out-of-dateness ("right on!?") aside, I'd rather someone smiled and said "From now on, nobody's going to tell you you should go and have babies, and oh yeah, we're finally going to pay you as much as Jason over there, instead of giving you 60 cents for every dollar he makes." (Brandweek, April 19th)