Britney's Guide to Semiconductor Physics

A short while ago, I suggested to my friend, (who is being extremely productive over at CERN), that incorporating pop culture into the lesson was really a great way to instruct in advanced math and physics concepts. We joked about it, watched "The Elements" flash animation, and remembered something obscure about an old movie with Andrey Mironov (a Soviet Danny Kaye, of sorts).

Anyway, yesterday, he emailed me this link to "Britney's Guide to Semiconductor Physics", to sort of add on to that discussion. Apparently, it's been around for a while, and is extremely successful. I think the idea is pretty obvious - everyone likes Britney, and everyone likes semiconductor physics. So, putting the two together is an entirely apparent recipe for academic success. I encourage you to use it in your classrooms, and maybe soon we'll be graduating enough kids to fill up the labs in the Physics department.

Email Problems

Over the last few days, Columbia has been experiencing major issues with e-mail (send and receive). There are still residual messages on the servers being queued up for eventual delivery. If you emailed me and haven't gotten a reply, try sending the message again. If you need to reach me right away, this is a good time to pick up the phone.

Billy Wagner!

The Mets closed the deal for Billy Wagner (who is NOT 40). I am writing this down, in a public forum (and capitalizing for emphasis), so that I won't be able to deny it later, or try to take it back, or somehow convince myself that this was all a caffeine induced hallucination of unrealized hope - The Mets Are Going All The Way, in 2006. There you go. I said it.

I know that I am a sucker. But, it's so hard not to fall for it. I know the Braves have been kicking their butts for ages... but it looks like things are really going to turn around. With Pedro, Beltran, Delgado, and now an excellent reliever. I am glad that the Mets are being aggressive this winter. If anything, shattered dreams or not, they are keeping things interesting.

SAC Song

In a blatant (and highly encouraged) attempt to win my favor, some of my students started sending me Tom Lehrer related links (previous bribes of ice cream and pork products proved to be logistically complicated). Most of it is stuff I already know, or discovered on my own.

However, a few days ago, a very ambitious young man forwarded me this link to a song written by Tom Lehrer, for the movie "A Gathering of Eagles." I have read the lyrics before, but I never actually heard the song performed.

I had to look up some of the references, but I think that I would really need to see the movie to get the context and the joke of the song. (However, I doubt that time will allow for such amusements... seeing how words such as "lack of" and "progress" seem to come up in every conversation about my thesis). Unfortunately, Mr. Lehrer doesn't perform the song in the movie (it is sung by Rod Taylor), or on any of his records.

Although, Internet rumor has it that an officer at the base where the movie was filmed made an unofficial recording of Mr. Lehrer singing the song. So, if there are any enterprising (or bored) undergrads out there who wish to make it to the top of my "favorites" list, this can be a great winter vacation project for you.

Hectic Day

I have a meeting with my graduate advisor this afternoon, and there is really no outfit cute enough that will make it go well.

Furthermore, I have quite a bit of work-work to do, and the bugs just keep piling up. So, I won't be posting until much later. I also won't have time to meet anyone for lunch, or answer any emails. Sorry.

How To Find a Human

Before I check out for the evening, I wanted to post this extremely useful link to a page by Paul English. His IVR Cheat Sheet gives you the phone codes to get through to a real live human being, so you no longer have to waste valuable time in a maze of automated messages. (This is truly invaluable, particularly if you are trying to get through to Dell).

A Few More Updates

I added some more fun links to the "amusements" page, including a link to the "Longest Path" song, which everybody has been asking about. I've been singing and quoting it all the time, and inquisitive minds have been... well, inquiring, I suppose.

Also, I updated the "frequent reading" page with a few links. I will upload some provocative shots of yours truly, as well as a few random pictures, to update the "photos" page as soon as I clean up my account on the server and free up some space.

Sad Day For Journalism

This is another sad day for journalism. CNN is being completely asinine - they are reporting the plot lines for "Desperate Housewives" on the front page. Sigh.

Meanwhile, more people are dying in other parts of the world. Just in case you were curious.

Numb3rs

I had some time this weekend to catch up on Numb3rs episodes. That show is one of those guilty pleasures... like a Ramones song or a game of Counterstrike.

I like shows and movies about math, and I guess Numb3rs fits into that dorky category (together with all the Star Wars movies, and all the LOTR movies, and all the Matrix movies) that people like me are just obligated to watch, or we'll be asked to kindly surrender our pocket protectors and USB flash memory cards.

Anyway, the show is pretty good. I always liked Judd Hirsch, and I really like the character of Dr. Fleinhardt (played by Peter MacNicol). And, they do get the math right every time. But, I think that with every new episode, it has become increasingly difficult for the writers to fit the math into the plot, while keeping any semblance of reality about the FBI.

For example, in the latest episode, "Toxin," Charlie used math to explain to the FBI that a fugitive on the run might come back to his house (in 7 months on the case, the FBI couldn't come up with that one on their own); he also instructed the federal agents on a little known concept called Negotiation Theory! It's almost comical to watch every week as the FBI are portrayed as a bunch of bumbling neophytes, who just sit around waiting for an extremely complicated mathematical concept to reveal to them something entirely obvious about the case.

However, I do think that this was the very first episode where they suggested that a tenure track professor might have something else to do besides consulting with the FBI and working on P=NP in his father's garage... so, much thanks for that "I have midterms to grade" line... certainly helped to alleviate some of the frustrations with that character.

They set off from Plymouth and landed in Plymouth! How lucky is that?

Writing to wish everyone a fantabulous holiday! (Take some time to catch up on your Eddie Izzard).

I will be checking mail sporadically this weekend, and won't be back on campus until Monday. If anybody needs to reach me, try my phone, which I will have with me most of the time (how primitive, I know).

Cheers!

Content and Archives

I finally fixed the html so that blogger now correctly links my archives. I also added some more content to some of the pages (linked on the right). The rest will be updated, as time allows. Enjoy!

Mailbag, and Why Tom Lehrer is Cool

I've been going through some mail from you, dear readers. Thanks for writing, and sorry that I haven't replied right away.

It seems that a lot of people have been hitting this site looking for info on the mysterious nature of Prof. Shahabuddin's death (google gives priority to sites hosted at an edu). I am sorry to say, I know nothing more than what Columbia has chosen to make public.

There is also the usual stream of mail, along the lines of "Mets rock! You suck! Let's go Mets!" And, similarly, "Go Redsox! You Suck! Boston Rocks!" Regarding this, I will say only that I am sad to acknowledge that the Beckett acquisition has positioned Boston to be in serious contention for a very long time. And, I only wish that NY teams had the resources and the foresight to make such trades.

Finally, a lot of friends and a few strangers want to know what "the deal is" with Tom Lehrer. I've already come to terms with the fact that nobody really knows who Tom Lehrer is, but I will do you this favor once, and expound on the topic some more.

The easiest way to begin is simply to acknowledge that Tom Lehrer is a genius. Mr. Lehrer's songs are brilliant on many levels. First, they are extremely hilarious. The jokes really are laugh-out-loud funny. Also, because the jokes are so clever, witty, sophisticated, and well crafted, they don't get old. They are equally funny the 2nd time around and the 100th time around, and so on. Next, the tunes are particularly fun and catchy, and Mr. Lehrer plays them very well. Finally, the rhymes are so skillful and exceptional, that after just a few verses, you are convinced that Mr. Lehrer is really and truly a master of the English language. In addition, the delivery and the performance are just flawless. Mr. Lehrer's diction is impeccable, as is his sense of timing.

Tom Lehrer manages to be both cool and dorky at the same time. The sick and the macabre themes throughout his songs make him so morbid and cool. The Ivy League wise-ass jokes and math references make him so dorky. It's a perfect combination.

Granted, there are other performers who exhibit one (or sometimes, a few) of these qualities. For example - the Dead Kennedys have socially significant lyrics, but you have no idea what the hell they are saying; the soundtrack from "Oklahoma" is very melodic, but it's not too funny; Victor Borge plays the piano, but doesn't have too many interesting rhymes; Eminem enunciates fairly well, but the joke is usually pretty dumb; Jon Stewart is witty and sophisticated, but alas, doesn't sing or rhyme or play the piano. Tom Lehrer is the only performer who encompasses all these qualities, so it's no surprise that his songs and quips are still funny, some fifty years after he composed them.

That's why, out of the 20 gigs of music in my pocket, I keep listening to the same 40 songs over and over and over again.

Thank You Mets, May I Have Another

The Mets took the first step in what promises to be another long road to Disappointment City.

Sure, Delgado seems like a good idea now. Kaz Matsui (aka, "the bad Matsui") seemed like a good idea. So did Beltran (although, if you write off last season to injury, he still does). That's how they get you.

Delgado had a good season. He had an OBP of 399, and hit over 100 RBIs. He would be an improvement at first, over Piazza. So really, this could be a very good thing for the Mets (and a good use of their tax break too).

Dave Pinto adds up the winshares for Beltran, Delgado, Pedro, Wagner, Floyd and Wright - that comes to 47 wins, which is pretty darn good, actually.

This is how I start every season... eventually, hope turns to bitter disillusionment. After all, the slogan is, "you gotta believe." Because, when you can't think, reason, explain, understand... believe is really all that you can do.

Sonu, Goldberg, Observed Birthday

Last Saturday was the observed birthday of both Sonu and Goldberg. It was not their actual birthday, but rather a midpoint between their birthdays, so chosen because it was the only weekend this month when we could all agree to meet.

We met at Monsoon, a Vietnamese place near the Museum of Natural History. The food was actually pretty good, particularly the "Dancing Beef," which is basically a regular steak cut up into yummy bight-sized pieces. It should be noted, however, that I'm really not an expert when it comes to Vietnamese food... the only other Vietnamese place that I've been to is Saigon Grill, a few blocks north on Amsterdam. The menu is identical, the food is identical, and I suspect that it's under the same ownership.

We wrapped it up with a delectable chocolate cake from Café Lalo. This was probably the richest chocolate you can legally buy over the counter in New York State.

A good time was had by all.

However, this provided yet another opportunity for my grandparents (who were, apparently, crazy drunken party animals in the 50s) to make fun of me and my friends.

You see, we (aka, "kids these days") have absolutely no idea how to have a good time... with our overpriced restaurants and small portions, and gourmet espressos, and subdued conversation. In their day, all they needed was a couple of pounds of salami, a block of cheese, a few bottles of Stoli, and somebody to play the piano (or at least, the accordion) - that would be enough to keep the fun going for days, sometimes weeks.

Ok. Next year we are skipping Monsoon for a cheese and salami extravaganza at my house. Goldberg, you have a year to figure out how to play the accordion.

Breaking News from Israel

I am on my way out, and doing some quitting time browsing. Talking Points Memo links to a lot of the most current articles on the breaking news in Israel.

You can always count on the Knesset for cutting edge politics, and the impact will, undoubtedly, be tremendous throughout the entire region.

Bigger Penalty, Bigger Deterrent?

On Sunday afternoon I took some time to catch up on Dave Pinto's blog. I decided to concentrate my browsing, and started reading only through the posts in the "Cheating" category.

Dave discusses several interesting ideas on how to curb cheating in the majors, including the idea of holding all sides responsible (including ownership), as well as another idea of a reward-based voluntary system of testing.

As of now, MLB is not thinking so creatively, but they are definitely thinking more aggressively.

Jack Curry of the New York Times, wrote earlier this week about the MLB announcement that it will toughen the penalty for steroid use to a 50 game suspension starting next season. According to the new policy, the penalty will increase to 100 games for a second offense, and a lifetime suspension for a third offense.

This begs the question - will tougher penalties be a sufficient deterrent to once and for all eliminate cheating in the sport?

Obviously, the Commissioner thinks so. I am, however, somewhat skeptical. Where there is a will, there is a way, and other such clichés come to mind. The drug manufacturers will always manage to stay one step ahead of the system. Unless MLB chooses to invest a great amount of resources into the research of illegal drugs, and into consistent testing, there will always be players getting away without being caught. (And even if MLB does make an enormous and intelligent effort, the system will still have it's cracks, pardon the pun).

The nature of the game also makes fair testing of players very difficult. In an ideal situation, every player would get tested before every game. But, because baseball is such a prolific sport - every team plays a game almost every night - this is logistically impossible.

Like most fans, I don't see a clear way out of this scandal. I have always held a very idealistic, some would say, romantic, view of the game (think, Ken Burns, not Sportscenter). So, this has become a particularly distressing situation for me, personally.

Slowly But Surely...

I updated some of the "Info Please" pages, to your right, with mostly useless content. Enjoy!

In Memoriam

Columbia University announced the death of IEOR Professor Perwez Shahabuddin, who passed away on Thursday, November 17th.

As an undergrad, I took Professor Shahabuddin's Simulation class. I remember being extremely impressed with his ability to teach a complicated subject in a very engaging and accessible manner. He will be greatly missed by everyone at the Engineering School.

Lunchtime Reading: Baseball Desert

This afternoon I was pleasantly reminded of a blog that I really enjoyed reading, some time ago, when I used to spend a ridiculous amount of time browsing the web for creative baseball content. That blog is Baseball Desert, and it's especially charming because it is written by an English guy, living in France.

Iain's fandom is confirmed by his determination to overcome the time difference between our two continents. This is really commendable, and I doubt I'd survive even half a season if I were trying to follow games from the other side of the pond (while keeping a life and a job).

I was looking over Iain's "How it all started" pages and it was such a delight to read how he came to love the game on that fateful October in 1986.

Now, I'm definitely inspired to wax poetic about how my own fascination with the game began.

Sexy Photo

In this latest installment, my friend Byron Arnao once again proves that if you have a $1000 camera, women other than your wife will take off their clothes for you.

Well done, indeed.

Color Scheme

Some virtual eyebrows have been raised regarding the color scheme that I chose for this blog (as well as for my old one). People want to know why I keep rendering my pages using the Harvard Crimson color scheme... as opposed to, say, Columbia Blue. The answer is obvious - Columbia Blue is butt ugly. Sorry, but it is.

On the other hand, this might be a subconscious manifestation of some deep rooted something or other ...

When Robots Attack

This week has been pretty tough for me, hardware-wise. Well, whenever there is a hardware issue, it never turns out to be a quick affair. A reboot won't fix a fried motherboard, for example.
On Monday, I came in to find that all of Sunday's differential backups failed. Some investigation immediately revealed a hardware problem. It turns out that a tape was stuck in one of the SCSI drives in the LTO robot. And just to make things fun, the stuck tape was the Catalog tape! (Anyone who knows anything about Veritas must feel my pain now, since they know that the Catalog is the last tape you want to mess with).

I finally did manage to get the tape out of the drive. Here's my account of the entire harrowing ordeal.

The More Things Change ...

The more perceptive in the bunch have noticed that West 116th no longer claims to be a "mostly baseball blog." That is because it is really a "mostly not baseball blog with some baseball here and there." But that's just not as catchy, you see (and probably, not very grammatically correct either).

I will continue to categorically deny that some recent curse-reversing activity has crushed my creative spirit. Mostly, I am completely humbled by Dave Pinto, whose blog has consistently been the gold standard in baseball reporting. I much rather read Baseball Musings than write another angry post about aging Yankees pitching, for example. I will continue to periodically link to interesting articles on statistics, and will post my own insight, when there is any.

I would also like to take some time once in a while to write down some of the things that I've been working on at school, and at my job, as well as my take on the various happenings around Columbia. If I slip, and let my political convictions surface in these pages, you are well advised to just make like Fox and discount it as irrelevant left-wing propaganda.

The rest of the ether will be taken up with recurring obsessions, such as my research into the life and career of one Mr. Tom Lehrer, or my research into the most cost effective way to consume large quantities of fried chicken, or my research into the latest apple product that I absolutely must have or else life is no longer worth living. You get the idea.

It is true that I have become a lot less angry now that I am no longer in Jersey, and no longer have to drive for miles and miles and miles every day. But you can be sure that the formerly amusing "today I hate driving on the turnpike because" rants will be replaced by the equally amusing "today I hate riding on the D train because" rants.

I hope you will enjoy the obscure and the irrelevant, and I also hope to finally get to write an ecstatic article about a Mets World Series victory.

In the words of Homer Simpson, "it's like something out of that twilighty show about that zone."

Pretty Shot

My friend Kevin Abato took this gorgeous picture of Washington's Crossing with his Digital Rebel 300D. Kevin is a hobby photographer, but this looks like a really professional shot. The colors and composition are just perfect.

Mad props to Kevin, as they say.

Resurrection!

Today, I resurrect the West 116th Street blog! The void has been re-filled! The Internet is now complete! I am here for you again. Rejoice!

Dear readers have been emailing me, asking me why I stopped publishing. When I did not reply to them, they formulated their own conclusions. Some of the more interesting ideas went as follows:

- After I left New Jersey, I no longer harbored enough anger to post about how much I hate driving, and how much I hate Princeton.
- My little blogging heart was broken when they traded Soriano.
- I went back to Russia, where there is no indoor plumbing, no electricity, and therefore, no web access.
- I am working for Mr. Steinbrenner, and am no longer allowed to grunt about the Yankees organization.
- I went back to Brooklyn, where there is no indoor plumbing, no electricity, and therefore, no web access.
- I suffered a terrible stroke when the Red Sox won the World Series.
- I am studying and working hard on my thesis.

I will do nothing here to dispel or confirm any of these allegations.

Finally, the now defunct West 116th Street pages, including all the archives, have been reposted as well. So if you are ever in the mood to go back and read about how awesome Ricky Henderson is, or how much I hate the suburbs, it's all there for you.

That's just my little way of showing how much I care.