Why Java?

I started carrying around my Java In a Nutshell book. Occasionally, when I'm on the train or at a restaurant, I take it out, and start reading it. Whenever I do this, I am overcome by strong feelings of reticence and extreme embarrassment. I always imagine that people are staring at me, and thinking terrible thoughts about my choice of programming language.

I imagine the following conversations with random strangers...

Stranger: You are programming in Java?
Me: Yea.
Stranger: Why?
Me: Because I go to Columbia.
Stranger: Haven't you heard of Python? Why don't you use Python?
Me: Because I go to Columbia.
Stranger: Perl is so much better. Why don't you use Perl?
Me: Because I go to Columbia.
Stranger: What about Lisp? Or Ruby? Any of those are better than Java. Why don't you use those?
Me: Because I go to Columbia.

And so on. I have such a complex. If you see me browsing through a stack of Java books, please be sympathetic and don't ostracize me for using an inferior language.