Being polite on the train.
I have always adhered to very old-fashioned convictions when it comes to etiquette. For example, I expect men to hold doors, give up their seat, and carry heavy things for me. I also think that young people should give up their seat to old people. And pregnant women should never have to stand, especially on crowded trains.
Lately, I've been encountering some issues when trying to be polite on the train. Here are a few guidelines that I have formulated from my many years of riding the NYC subway.
When you feel compelled to give your seat to a pregnant woman, be absolutely positive that she is in fact pregnant, and not just wearing a bulky sweater, or returning from a particularly filling lunch. Use your best judgment and all your knowledge of human anatomy (think about proportions). You are bound to make a mistake once in a while. It's ok. Just apologize, and avoid eye contact for the rest of the trip.
It also gets tricky with older men. Once, I tried to give my seat to a man of very advanced age, who turned out to be really offended by the unspoken insinuations of my seemingly kind gesture. He proceeded to inform me that his girlfriend is actually just my age, but he took my seat anyway. It's important to remember that men are quite sure of their virility well into their 90s (and sometimes they are not entirely wrong). When you are thinking of offering your seat to an elderly gentleman, here are some things to look out for - he has his hair in a pony tail; he is wearing ripped jeans and a t-shirt of some rock band from the 70s; he is wearing very trendy glasses; he is reading Maxim magazine. These are just a few things, to give you an idea. Even if this person is 98, he is still quite positive that he can score (with you), so it's best not to insult his masculinity by offering him your seat.
Of course this is my perspective, and therefore, this advice is mainly intended for women. Men shouldn't have a difficult time being polite on the train, since they should always be prepared to give up their seat.
7 Comments:
hey irina, women can hold doors for men just as well as men can hold doors for women.
thanks for setting feminism back another 20 years. again!!
No problem, I do what I can. Stay tuned for my next installment - why men are good at math, and women are good at sewing.
hey Irina I totally appreciate the sentiment. and I don't think you are setting feminism back too much by letting men hold the door for you.
"hey miss, please take my seat"
"why"
"uhhh a woman in your condition shouldn't be standing"
"oh yea what condition is that bitch!"
that was awkward.
a) as a guy - all polite things should be done in silence, let her think that you give her your seat because you think she's hot rather than you think she looks pregnant :)
b) as a girl - get others to give you a seat :) particularly if you wear heels.
not too sure how to leave a comment as this is the first blog i've ever done, but here goes. very funny. good site. keep up the good work. :)
nate
Nate, Jeff's blog is much MUCH better. It is also much MUCH harder to find. I think he likes it that way, so I won't post the link here. Although, if you read some recent posts close enough, you'll find your way there.
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