Bye Jeff.

Bye Jeff. I'll miss you a lot. Of all the people who are now dead to me, you are the coolest (with the possible, albeit unlikely, exception of Anthony, Jason, and John, in that order). You are also the funniest, and wittiest, and you have the best blog. The reasons why I've been less dramatic about this departure, as compared to John's recent treachery, are multifold. (1) I didn't want to destroy office morale by breaking down into tears and begging you to stay. (2) The amount of work that I'll have to do will not increase as a result of your leaving. (3) I am looking forward to breaking my caffeine addiction now that I won't have anyone to take coffee breaks with. (4) I am optimistically entertaining the faint notion that we'll see each other more often than once a year.

So, good luck. I am confident that you'll do well, and make this world a better place.