Standardized Tests

I do really well on tests, especially the standardized kinds that are crafted to be administered to a large group of people. And what's great is that I always do extremely well, especially when I go into the test with little/no preparation, and stay up the night before not studying and not sleeping.

When my friend Rimma was trying for law school, I took the LSAT, just out of solidarity. The night before I skimmed the Kaplan prep book, and spent the rest of the night playing Civ. I passed out in front of the keyboard about 4 hours before I was due at the testing center. I scored a 165, which, if I had the GPA of an English major, would be enough to get accepted to a decent school like Cardozo (ooooooh!) or BU.

I am not bragging. In fact it's pathetically ironic that I am so successful on the kind of test that is so fundamentally offensive to the constructivist pedagogy upon which I base my entire academic ideology.

So, here's why. Here's why I do so well. I figured it out today.

The most difficult test I've ever taken was the New York City Specialized Science High School Entrance Exam (also known as The Stuyvesant Test, and also, more appropriately known as The Bronx Science Test). I took it when I was 13. Now, I didn't know anything when I was 13. I was pretty stupid. So, relative to my body of knowledge, the test was really difficult. The next test I had to take was the SAT, 4 years later. At that point, I was already pretty smart. I had taken AP Calc, and technical drawing, and honors English with Mr. Laboda. So, basically, I was much smarter than I was at 13. But the test didn't get much harder! You see, even though I got smarter, the SAT is still the same Bronx Science Test, which I already knew how to do at 13. Next followed college. I got a little bit smarter (not much), but the GRE, again, is just the Bronx Science Test with a writing section. And same goes for the qual exams in grad school. And so on, and on.

So that must be it. If you passed the science high school test in New York City, everything else is just a repeat. You just have to keep getting smarter, and the test will keep getting easier.