Partying with Russians

Americans are boring. They don't know how to have a good time. Sophistication is often preferred to fun. A typical American wedding, for example, involves prim girls in conservative dresses, guys nursing the same glass of Merlot for several hours while talking to each other about the box score, and a bland choice between chicken or fish. Even a typical evening out is dull - a bar with bad music, or even worse, a lounge where you can "sit and talk." Bah! If you want to have a good time, you have to hop on the train to Brighton Beach and party with Russians. Here are some guidelines to get you started.

The atmosphere
The partying takes place at a restaurant, which is more like a combination between a disco night club, a cabaret, and an all-you-can-eat buffet. The word "restaurant" has different connotations to Russians than it does to Americans. An American restaurant is a place to eat; a Russian restaurant is a place to feast. The essential elements of a night out are: alcohol, food, and music. You will be seated at a large table, really depending on the size of your group. The tables are arranged around a dance floor and a stage, and food and alcohol are delivered to your table. The specifics will depend on the restaurant and your reservation.

The attire
Forget conservative. Spandex and glitter are your friends! For girls: the shortest skirt that you can find, the highest heels that you can manage, and a low-cut top that's a few sizes too small. For guys: no jeans, no sneakers, but a tie is not necessary either. A button down shirt will do, but try to avoid the Brooks Brothers look. You should really aim for something in the Webster Hall circa 1997 category.

The dancing girls
Russians love dancing girls! This is not really in the style of a strip club, but more like a cabaret, and it's a lot of fun. If your date is American or a feminist, she will probably take great offense, and blame the collapse of communism on such a despicable display of erotic debauchery. The dancing girls (referred to as "the show") will usually come some time midway into the evening. You should ask the waiters to give you a sign when it's about to begin, and plan to escort your date for a "breath of fresh air" for the duration of the program (about half an hour, usually).

The drink
Russians don't do mixed drinks. It's either vodka or wine. Girls can get away with mixing their shots with some coke or juice, but guys should just drink it straight up. Don't - under any circumstance - try to add ice to your vodka. (I really can’t stress this enough). Don't ask for scotch. Don't ask for vermouth. Don't ask for a "White Russian." The wine is really for the girls and those with heart/liver disease, and guys should be prepared to present some notarized proof of a serious medical condition if they intend to drink anything but vodka. There is no bar-tender, because there is no bar. Seltzer water, juice, or soda can be used as a chaser. The bottles are delivered to your table, and you are in charge of consumption and distribution. Whoever opens the bottle pours the first shot, and whoever is toasting pours the next shot. Try to keep up. Russians pace themselves well, and the trick is to eat and dance in between rounds. Also, once a bottle is opened, it has to be finished. And it’s often considered bad luck to leave empty bottles on the table. You have to drink “do dna,” meaning, don’t leave any alcohol in your glass.

The food
The one thing that leaves the greatest impression on Americans during their first outing to a Russian restaurant is the food. Mostly, the quantity. Expect it to just keep coming. The type of cuisine will depend on the restaurant, but the courses are always numerous. First come the appetizers, or "zakuska" - these might include blinis with caviar, potatoes and herring, salads, cold cuts, cheeses, and pierogies. Note that I said "and" not "or." Americans often mistake the appetizers for the main food, and fill up. This is their greatest mistake. Next, there will be the main course, or "goryachiye," which is likely to come in several iterations. The meat portion might consist of roasted lamb, shish kebob, pork chops, and chicken-kiev, with some fried potatoes. The seafood portion will likely have lobster, oysters, and some sort of shrimp. The food will be delivered on large platters, placed in the middle of the table, and you help yourself to whatever you want. There is also desert and coffee toward the end.

The toast
In some cultures, toasts are very important. If your company is from Tbilisi, Odessa, or Baku, you can expect the highest caliber of toasting. (By the way, Georgian style of toasting is very different, and particularly verbose compared to other regions). Some consider it an art form, which probably warrants and essay all on its own. Don’t drink without toasting, or you’ll be considered an alcoholic. Generally, the first toast is devoted to the occasion, the second toast is usually in honor of the host or the primary person at the gathering (or, sometimes, to friendship), the third toast is typically in honor of women or love. After that, anything goes. You should be prepared to give at least one toast, and "to life, to life, le chaim" will get you only so far. The best topics for a toast include: to our parents’ great wisdom, to a woman’s beauty, to academic prowess, to financial prosperity, to health, and to world peace (especially if foreigners are present). When you toast, it's good to have a story. The actual toast doesn't necessarily have to do anything with the story, as long as the story is sufficiently elaborate. Think along these lines: Once my 95 year old grandfather visited me in Odessa. I took him to the beach, and when he saw the water, he asked me, “what is that?” I told him, “that’s the Black Sea, grandfather.” To which he replied, “and what was there before the revolution?” So, let us raise our glasses so that we may live long enough to annoy our grandchildren with such stupid questions!

The music
Russian is the only culture that I am aware of (correct me if I am wrong, please) that has an entire musical genre known as “restaurant music.” This is not high class stuff, but it’s extremely fun, and especially good to dance to. You see, when you are partying, you can’t listen to anything too thought-provoking or socially significant, such as Vysotsky. Nor, can you listen to anything too nostalgic, like Bernes or Utesov. The music has to be light, and have a good dance beat. Some common themes for restaurant music include: alcohol, sailors, women, the privoz, the criminal element, as well as any combination of those. Very often, you will hear a series of songs from Odessa (since the best songs, just like the best jokes, are from Odessa). If there are people from Kishinev or Tiraspol, you are in for some circle dancing to 7-40. You will also hear some American songs, remixed to a disco beat. But remember, Russian pop culture is generally about 10-15 years behind the US, so you can expect some Angelo Venuto and a KTU remix of a Celia Cruz song. You can make requests (by walking up to the MC when he is not busy), but don’t do anything stupid like ask for “that Misfits song.” Stick to “Total Eclipse of the Heart” and you’ll be ok.

The curfew
There is no last call. (Ha Ha). You can stay all night. Usually, people will start clearing out at the crack of dawn.

The best Russian restaurants in the US are in New York, of course. And the best Russian restaurants in New York are in Brooklyn. And of those, the best ones are on Brighton Beach. National, Rasputin and Primorski are the most noteworthy ones, in my opinion. There are some exceptions, however. The Russian Samovar on 52nd street in Manhattan is pretty good, but it really caters to the American theater-going public. The food is very good, though. Also in Manhattan, Firebird on 46th street is Ok (I haven’t been there in a while). There are definitely a few nice places in the Boston area, and in Jersey. But, they are hardly in the same league.

Finally, I feel it necessary to note that these are some general guidelines that I picked up after several years of… uhm… extensive research. Some specifics might be different in other cities, but I think that the gist is the same. Also, these rules don’t apply to small-group drinking situations, such as drinking while playing chess, drinking while doing Calculus, drinking while reading poetry, or drinking while resolving matters of state. That’s a whole different story.

Technical Difficulties

Folks, if you got a 403 Forbidden error when trying to get to this page between 6-10:30pm today, here is why:

In an effort to consolidate users home directories onto fewer filers, we will be moving directories to different servers. The downtime will start at 6:00pm to end at 7:00pm on Wednesday 6/28. The actual downtime should be shorter.

The actual downtime lasted until 10:30pm. Free Columbia hosting, you know. At least this time it wasn't my fault.

This doesn't mean that I don't care about you. Because I do. I really do.

Popularity

I thought that this was hilarious. A former Central IT-er told me that at a recent Central IT party, they had a picture slide show of "Acis Folks Past and Present." One of the pictures was a giant headshot of me! Just me. Not me in a group of Acis people. But just me. Later, Sonu, who was also present at that event, confirmed this to be true. He also added that there were actually a lot of pictures of me in that slide show - me with Dan, me with John, me with a hot dog.

I've been on this campus for way too long. I know everybody. Worse yet, everybody knows me.

Oh, the joke is that I've never been an Acis folk, not past, not present. Connections, connections, you see.

Proof-read?

Finally finished the paper for my Cognition and Learning class. Proofing and content corrections from anybody who was NOT an engineering major are greatly appreciated. This was surprisingly easy to get through, so I think that maybe I didn't quite get everything right. The paper is due on Wednesday night, so I actually finished early. Wow.

Fitness Challenge

Vadim came over for a visit this weekend. He still has a few years to go before completing his PhD, but seeing how he is "stuck" in sunny San Diego, I don't see a need for any particular rush.

For some reason, when Vadim is around, I tend to get incredibly competitive. The "you wanna bet" phrase is very common during our encounters. This is not an easy endeavor, by the way, since Vadim is painfully intelligent. However, he is not very physically fit (such is the sad consequence of the sedentary lifestyle of a computer science doctoral student). So this Saturday, I rolled out the yoga matt on my living room floor, and challenged him to see who can do more sit-ups in a two-minute time period. I won, barely. But we both did rather miserably (30 for me, 21 for Vadim).

We decided that a mutually beneficial contest was certainly appropriate at such a juncture. So we bet to see who can come closest to getting a perfect score on the West Point Fitness Assessment, which is required for admission to the academy, by the way. We are modifying the exam, however, to exclude the basketball throw, which doesn't present much practical application to our respective professions (although grenade throwing can be a surprisingly useful skill in IT), and the pull-ups, because neither one of us can do them. Vadim is coming back to New York in December, so I have about 6 months to get up to 95 sit ups in two minutes.

By the way, I think that I know only two people who can come close to getting a perfect score on the (unmodified) West Point physical exam: former CCIT defender Jason, and former Israeli army Captain Elad.

Chat

I have rediscovered (g)AIM! I was never a big fan of online chat, and generally pissed off a lot of people by disappearing in the middle of a conversation (back when the Columbia wireless network wasn't the marvel of modern technology that it is today). However, my preference for human interaction is still in the following order: in person, email, phone, chat. Still, after reddit, ICC, and Web Sudoku, it's one of my favorite ways to procrastinate from writing a paper. If you IM me and I don't reply, I am probably away from the computer (that should seem obvious).

Wishful thinking

The Mets are going to Boston on Tuesday. Pardon my naïve optimism (not to mention my North-East centric view of Major League Baseball), but does anyone else see this as a sneak preview to the World Series?

Double-header?

I am not sure why the Yankees would schedule a double-header on a day when it’s supposed to rain so much! I guess the people who claim that you can’t predict baseball can’t be expect to feel much differently about the weather. Anyway, it doesn’t seem to be raining right now, so I hope that they get at least one game in.

Do you love curvy edges?

Check this out: hilarious embodiment of everything that's wrong with Web 2.0, in the style of Stephen Colbert. I found it extremely amusing. By way of kn0thing.

Just so you know, I'm hugging you with this template.

Deep

While most people spend their evenings engaged in profound discussions about provoking existentialist philosophies, significant theologies, and matters of world peace, I found myself involved in the following exchange:

- Was MacGyver in the Special Forces?
- No, no. No. He was a Marine.
- Are you sure? I think he was in the Special Forces.
- I think you are wrong.
- Well he was definitely in the military.
- Well duh! Where else would he have learned such tricks! Not in college, that's for sure!
- Ha! What if he went to Engineering School?
- Doubtful. I went to Engineering School, and they never taught me how to build a bomb from a paper clip and a bit of string.

Muse-less

I realize that I haven't been too inspired to write anything particularly creative here in quite a while. Sorry about that. I do have some fantastically amusing ideas, just not enough time to capitalize on them. If it's any comfort at all, I've been tremendously creative in my academic life, and moderately creative in my professional life.

Random

Suppose we have a unit of M tanks... no, M is not enough. Suppose we have a unit of N tanks!

Dream job?

I've been subscribing to the MLB job alerts for about four years now, continuously holding out for a job description along the lines of: "Brian Cashman is looking for a cute Ivy League grad to offer insightful statistical analysis in an effort to avoid future Weaver-esque mistakes." However, all the jobs that come through have been in the marketing/sales category, for some middle-of-nowhere club in the Midwest.

But today I got the very first job listing for a New York team. And above all, it's an IT job. The Yankees are looking to hire a programmer, with experience in SQL, Unix/Perl scripting, ASP, C++, .Net, and Java. I don't think that this is a stat-head kind of job, nor does it look like anything that I could or would want to do. But it's certainly a very sweet opportunity for somebody who doesn't mind writing ASP all day.

Doctor's visit.

This morning...

Dr: Hey!
Me: Hi Doctor.
Dr: Your retina still attached?
Me: Uhh... I hope so. That's what I'm here to find out.
Dr: Ha Ha Ha. Don't worry it'll grow back!

Later that afternoon...

Friend: Hey your eyes are all weird.
Me: Yes. I had them dilated.
Friend: Wow! What'd you do that for?
Me: As a fashion statement.

Summer school.

Summer sessions are really difficult. The time crunch is ridiculous. I wouldn't recommend doing more than one summer class, especially if you have other stuff going on (like a day job). The truth is that I am in these classes because I am interested in the subject, and I really wish that I had more time to concentrate on studying and understanding the material.

I just submitted my first paper for Howie's class, and now I have one week to write the final paper. There is also a group project, which is very far from being done.

I also have to write a paper for the Cognition and Learning class. I now realize that I understand very little about cognitive psychology. I am having a difficult time with the readings, and the fact that this is an online class means that I can't harass the professor in person, but rather have to resort to email, which is just as annoying to the professor, but less satisfying for me. The "but how can you PROOOOOOOOOOVE this?" question is a constant point of distress for me. Of course, I realize the value of case studies, and theoretical conclusions, but this sort of academic approach is completely counter-intuitive to the kind of thinking that I am used to. Making this paper coherent will be a challenge, but I am looking forward to some profound metacognitive revelations.

Good yum.

The World's Healthiest Foods website is proving to be an excellent resource. I've been trying to eat my way through the list, which isn't easy. It seems that a lot of the food on that list is common to an Asian diet, but may seem a bit strange to the typical American (or even European) palette.

I was surprised by how healthy some of these leafy green vegetables are: collards, kale, and even romaine lettuce. I never used to eat collards before, but now I prefer them to (my previously favorite side of) spinach. Kale seems to go well with a lot of Asian sauces, so that's what I'm going to try tonight. By the way, leafy greens are almost completely absent from the typical Russian (or Russian-Jewish) diet. My grandparents have never heard of any of these vegetables, and they never eat lettuce-based salad; for them, salad is usually some sort of combination of cucumbers, tomatoes, and sour cream. So, trying to convert their eating habits has proven to be a difficult and frankly, completely futile effort.

I also like their Food Advisor tool, which determines your most likely nutritional needs, and makes appropriate recommendations, based on a series of factors. Basically, it seems that if you really try to meet your daily requirements for fruits and vegetables, you will have very little room and time to consume anything else, especially junky snacks.

Consumer Electronics

Over lunch on Friday, I realized that I need a new gadget. It's strange, because Anthony wasn't even around to tell me about any particular deal. Of course, Anthony was mentioned, and I think that's what triggered it.

This happens once in a while (it used to happen a lot more often when Anthony was sitting, and shopping, right next to me every day). This overwhelming need for a new electronic thingy, some shiny chrome, some silicone goodness. It's not right, and I'm embarrassed. I don't NEED a new iPod, you see. I know that! Nobody NEEDS a new iPod. Of course, I also didn’t NEED another flat screen monitor, but they were practically giving them away!

Deep breath. I hope this will pass soon without any serious repercussions.

Haircut

This is going to be a haircut weekend. I mean it. I don't understand why girl haircuts cost $45. I just need the ends trimmed, that's it. It takes 15 minutes. Why don't feminists fight for equality at Supercuts? Bah.

Socialize vs. Privatize

This is one of my favorite academic debates, but Professors always try to stay away from it, because it's such a "can of worms" topic. Once the conversation launches, and people assume sides, there is very little hope that anything else can get done during that class.

But this is my blog, so here goes.

Position one: Education is a social good, since well educated children will inevitably grow up to be productive adults, and thus, will improve our society. Therefore, the government should adopt a socialist approach to improving education. This means that the government (on a federal and local level) should modify its budget so as to greatly increase the financial allocation to public schools. This sort of spending is purely socialistic, since it’s a fiscal cost that will never produce any monetary revenue, or direct returns. However, it's completely necessary. Therefore, education in this country is failing because the government refuses to recognize it as a public good, and sufficiently fund it without hesitation. Conclusion - increase government funding.

Position two: We live in a capitalist society, and public education should be subject to the same free market laws as other industries. Higher education in this country is exceptional, because universities operate according to free market principles - they must compete for resources and funding, in the form of patents, government grants, and contributions. Therefore, we have a system where good universities prosper through competition. Public schools should be run according to similar economic laws, which will result in a highly competitive system of privately funded schools. Therefore, education in this country is failing because schools lack economic incentives to do well. Conclusion - privatization.

I can debate both sides, but most of you already know where my (tree-hugging, latte-sipping, Nader-loving) loyalties tend to fall. Still, there is always some value in a good argument.

Matisyahu

I am really not the sort of person to show up at somebody's house and demand that they sing and dance for me. You know, just like I wouldn't want people to come to my house and demand that I fix their computers. Oh... wait.

So that's why I'm not going to go to Crown Heights to track down Matisyahu, even though I am fairly bummed out that he doesn't have any scheduled concert dates in New York City. Thanks very much to all those who have been proposing these little borderline restraining order stalking adventures in Brooklyn (and similarly, in Cambridge) but I'll have to decline.

Too bad, I know.

Matisyahu Miller is an American reggae performer, who is also a member of the Chabad-Lubavitch Hasidic community in Brooklyn. That latter fact makes him sort of a novelty act, but the music is actually quite good. In general, reggae music is very relaxing, mostly due to that repetitive beat. And Matisyahu's lyrics don't seem to be about drugs or sex or anything particularly provoking, so they provide a very pleasant interlude during a crowded afternoon commute. Quite frankly, I can't really tell what the lyrics are, but I did gather (after listening to both records several times) that it's very cool and groovy to be an Orthodox Jew.

I really wanted to go to one of his shows, mostly because I've been wondering what kind of crowd it would draw. I envisioned a bunch of Hassidim wearing tie-die t-shirts, smoking pot, and rocking out Kingston style. But in reality, it will most likely be a group of people just like me - very sophisticated grad students with an impeccably versatile taste in popular music.

Has anyone been to any of his shows? Or planning to go?

Gripes

Some stuff that I am upset about this afternoon:

- The fact that I have to change my Cunix password every time I want to log in to the Columbia Peoplesoft site. I went in this morning to check something about my benefits, and of course, they made me change my password. Now, everything that's linked to that account (including this blog) had to be reset with the new password.

- Real estate agents.

- Treacherous people who decide to leave CCIT in pursuit of more lucrative/glamorous careers. Especially when they are otherwise very cool people.

- War.

- The whole carpet fiasco, and the resulting lack of productivity.

- ODBC errors on mission critical servers.

- People thinking that "The Internet" can fix education.

Pretty typical and really quite manageable gripes, I agree. But when taken as an amalgamation, the result is a very unpleasant day.

Done!

I finally finished my paper for Howie's Technology and Problem Solving class. Woo! I am thrilled, especially because it's a pretty good paper. To celebrate - House Harkonnen and a sugary treat!

Some wonderful (random) things.

You can guess how busy I am when I start posting obscure lists of seemingly unrelated items. So use your powers of deduction, if you will, but here is another such list of some wonderful stuff that I've recently discovered.

In the category of -

Air-conditioned places where you can read: This may be totally irrelevant to most of you, but the Bank Street College Library (located on 112th Street, between Broadway and Riverside) is a lovely place to read. It's small and cozy, and the children's room is full of nice bean-bag chairs, and it seems to be completely empty during the summer. You can get in with your Columbia ID.

Asian snacks: I love Asian snacks. Mostly, because they are so tasty, but also, because they are fun to eat. I particularly love the warnings on the packaging, along the lines of "this product was manufactured in the same facility as shrimp and milk products." Shrimp chips and pocky are perennial favorites, of course. But recently, I tried snow pea chips, which are very good, and actually look like snow peas. Also, aloe juice is a perfect snack for when you want to combine drinking and eating into the same activity.

Shoes: Dollhouse Berkley wedges are oh-so comfortable and very pretty, and are only $40. The 2.5" heels are good for every day wear, and don't get stuck between cobblestones on College Walk.

Comics: I was thrilled to discover the "Bone" series of comics (or graphic novels, if you are over 15). It's so clever, and I can absolutely see why it won so many scholastic awards. The first 2 books were very cute and cheerful, but after that it got very sinister. It's sort of a combination between The Smurfs and The Lord of the Rings. I am waiting for them to colorize all the books, and then I'll buy the whole collection.

Interlibrary loans: I have been using the WorldCat database to search hundreds of thousands of libraries all over the world, and I have already made several interlibrary loans for material that is not available through the NYPL. Although the whole system could use some work (for example, you can't make interlibrary loans on the web, you have to go to your branch and fill out a paper form, and these requests aren't linked to your online NYPL account) it is still fantastic to be able to search for so much information (over 35 million records) so easily.

Books made into a movie: I must admit that I loved the "Children of Dune" mini series. Granted, the casting was a bit off, but overall, the whole series was very entertaining.

Stupid, stupid announcers!

The most loathsome quality of Yankees announcers is their blatant inability to comprehend the depth of the game. For some reason, they can't fathom that the maturity and intelligence of statistical analysis can coexist with the fascination and child-like wonder of baseball. The truth is that most fans are dexterous enough to appreciate the magic of "anything can happen" while, at the same time, studying the mathematical aspects of the game.

The favorite phrase of Yankees announcers is "you just can't predict baseball." I am not being facetious - they actually say that all the time! Well, perhaps you can't predict baseball, in the same way that you can't predict the weather. I may not know the exact minute when lightning will strike, but if it's raining in Boston, and the wind is blowing south, chances are pretty decent that it will soon rain in New York. Similarly, if Mike Mussina's ERA is 2.67 and Josh Beckett's ERA is 5.27, I can say with some certainty that when the two pitchers meet almost half way into the season, Beckett will allow roughly 5.27/2.67=2 times as many earned runs as Mussina.

My frustration is based on a continuous pattern of absurdity and idiocy. It's far beyond one comment here, another comment there. This despicable attitude is characteristic of pretty much everyone who is paid to cover the Yankees for television and radio. And this ignorance goes far beyond "you can't predict baseball."

For example, a favorite comment during any Yankees-Red Sox series is, "who would have thought that Youkilis would be this good." Gosh. Well, there was that New York Times best selling book several years ago. I think one central premise was precisely that Youkilis will be very good. Equally annoying are their other "who would've thunk it" revelations. Wow, Cano and Thompson are really good? If only numerous bloggers didn't predict just that at the very beginning of the season.

Just like with current events and political commentary, with baseball coverage traditional media has failed once again. Thankfully, many quality bloggers are providing sophisticated and insightful coverage of the Yankees. The fans are reading. So how come the alleged experts can't be bothered?

More work

Inspired by a recent class discussion, I wrote an abstract for an article called "The Bazaar Classroom: deriving successful cooperative learning strategies from the world of software development" and submitted it to a journal. To my great surprise, it got accepted for publication, and now I have to write the actual article.

Smart and funny.

You know how much I enjoy it when smart people are being funny. That doesn't happen too often. Kafka is smart, but not too funny. Johnny Knoxville is funny, but not very smart. It's rare, you know. And most often, we have stupid people being not very funny at all - Mark Russell, Dan Brown, and so on. But I really make an effort to seek out the combination of smart and funny - Tom Lehrer, Monty Python, Eddie Izzard, The Simpsons, and so on.

And Kurt Vonnegut belongs in that category too, especially due to his latest book, "A Man Without a Country." The book is hilarious, and I highly recommend that you pick it up as soon as possible. The book is mostly a compilation of Vonnegut's recent essays and columns, and is essentially a short manifesto, written in first person, full of inspiring reflections, side-splitting observations, and morbid realizations about the world we live in. The humor is very reminiscent of Tom Lehrer, perhaps because both men grew up listening to the same comedy radio programs in the 30s and 40s. In fact, the book is so good, that I am going to buy it!

And now, some choice quotes.

On humor: "When I'm being funny, I try not to offend. I don't think much of what I've done has been in really ghastly taste. I don't think I have embarrassed many people, or distressed them. The only shocks I use are an occasional obscene word. Some things aren't funny. I can't imagine a humorous book or skit about Auschwitz, for instance. And it's not possible for me to make a joke about the death of John F. Kennedy or Martin Luther King. Otherwise I can't think of any subject that I would steer away from, that I could do nothing with. Total catastrophes are terribly amusing, as Voltaire demonstrated. You know, the Lisbon earthquake is funny."

On his graduate education (made me laugh out loud on the train): "It was a big mistake for me to take a degree in anthropology anyway, because I can't stand primitive people - they're so stupid."

On traditional media: "Our daily news sources, newspapers and TV, are now so craven, so unvigilant on behalf of the American people, so uninformative, that only in books do we learn what's really going on."

On the ruling elite: "I was once asked if I had any ideas for a really scary reality TV show. I have one reality show that would really make your hair stand on end: C students from Yale."

On running for office: "Only nut cases want to be president. This was true even in high school. Only clearly disturbed people ran for class president."

On socialism: "Doesn't anything socialistic make you want to throw up? Like great public schools, or health insurance for all?"

Besides the humorous quips, I think that this book is really Vonnegut's attempt to reconcile an internal conflict between "go on kid, be a good person and things will work out" and "damn we are all doomed to hell." This is something that we all struggle with, constantly, and it's inspiring that at 84, Vonnegut still hasn't been able to resolve this for himself. That means there is hope. In the end, I think the real message is - be a good person even though we are all doomed to hell. And that works for me.

My only complaint is that the book is so short. But I guess that will always be the case with really high quality material.

Another Tom Lehrer interview

Somebody anonymous sent me (by actual post mail) a fairly long interview with Tom Lehrer, which I have not previously seen. The accompanying note indicated that it was a chapter from a book called "Songwriters on Songwriting," written by Paul Zollo. Even though the interview covers all the typical talking points, it was still interesting to me. The focus was entirely on Mr. Lehrer's approach to songwriting, as well as his technique.

I am not used to receiving actual post mail, and I am certainly not used to receiving anonymous mail (not counting blog comments). But it's very nice, so thanks whoever you are.

It's about 10 pages, so if I have some time later, I will scan it in and post the link on the forums.