Pentium Jokes


         Q&A:  THE PENTIUM FDIV BUG

Q: How many Pentium designers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 1.99904274017, but that's close enough for non-technical people. Q: What do you get when you cross a Pentium PC with a research grant? A: A mad scientist. Q: What's another name for the "Intel Inside" sticker they put on Pentiums? A: The warning label. Q: What do you call a series of FDIV instructions on a Pentium? A: Successive approximations. Q: Complete the following word analogy: Add is to Subtract as Multiply is to: 1) Divide 2) ROUND 3) RANDOM 4) On a Pentium, all of the above A: Number 4. Q: What algorithm did Intel use in the Pentium's floating point divider? A: "Life is like a box of chocolates." (Source: F. Gump of Intel) Q: Why didn't Intel call the Pentium the 586? A: Because they added 486 and 100 on the first Pentium and got 585.999983605. Q: According to Intel, the Pentium conforms to the IEEE standards 754 and 854 for floating point arithmetic. If you fly in aircraft designed using a Pentium, what is the correct pronunciation of "IEEE"? A: Aaaaaaaiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeee! TOP TEN NEW INTEL SLOGANS FOR THE PENTIUM ----------------------------------------------------------------- 9.9999973251 It's a FLAW, Dammit, not a Bug 8.9999163362 It's Close Enough, We Say So 7.9999414610 Nearly 300 Correct Opcodes 6.9999831538 You Don't Need to Know What's Inside 5.9999835137 Redefining the PC -- and Mathematics As Well 4.9999999021 We Fixed It, Really 3.9998245917 Division Considered Harmful 2.9991523619 Why Do You Think They Call It *Floating* Point? 1.9999103517 We're Looking for a Few Good Flaws 0.9999999998 The Errata Inside "United we stand , divided we flaw" Q: What is the similarity between a rabbit and a Pentium A: They both can multiply, but can't divide ! THE TOP TEN REASONS TO BUY A PENTIUM MACHINE
10. YOUR CURRENT COMPUTER IS TOO ACCURATE 9. YOU WANT TO GET INTO GUINNESS BOOK AS "OWNER OF MOST EXPENSIVE PAPERWEIGHT" 8. MATH ERRORS ADD ZEST TO LIFE 7. YOU NEED AN ALIBI FOR THE I.R.S. 6. YOU WANT TO SEE WHAT ALL THE FUSS IS ABOUT 5. YOU'VE ALWAYS WONDERED WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE TO BE A PLAINTIFF 4. THE "INTEL INSIDE" LOGO MATCHES YOUR DECOR PERFECTLY 3. YOU NO LONGER HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT CPU OVERHEATING 2. YOU GOT A GREAT DEAL FROM JPL And the #1 reason to buy a Pentium machine: 1. IT'LL PROBABLY WORK


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