They're out to get you. You've heard all their lines before. Don't let them fool you. These people looking for friendship are everywhere, and that is not a good thing. Everyone goes to college hoping to meet great and interesting people, but this is challenge is not to be taken lightly. In finding friends you must be wary of the landmines left in your path, full of potential to destroy your hopes of a successful college life. You're in the big open world now. Parents, curfews and driver's tests are things of the past. You're finally coming into your own. What should you do first? Check out the nightlife, start cracking the books, make some friends?

Maybe you'll follow in my footsteps. My parents dropped me off in my new and empty room, and for once in my life I had a deep and urgent desire to hang out with Mom and Dad. Of course, they were already gone. So I spent my first night of college alone in my room. I was one cool cat. My suitemates (who had come to college together, lucky me) invited me out with them, but I declined.

Sure, unlike me, your first urge may be to make as many friends as soon as possible. Perhaps you were the big kahuna in high school or the awkward freak in the corner. Regardless, You want to make a name for yourself at this big college place. Be careful my little squirrel. Do not jump in too soon. Convenience friends can often be more trouble than they are worth.

Taking these friendships too far can run you aground in various ways:

Situation 1: Your Orientation Buddies.

Yeah, you're not gonna hang out with these people again. You will, however, run into them separately on campus and be reminded of how little you have in common. You can do one of two things: Get sick with fear and self-hatred for neglecting to keep up your friendship, or stop and talk every time you run into each other, make plans to meet up, and then conveniently lose the phone number when you're supposed to call. For months. Eventually this relationship can develop into a great "Hey What's Up" friend*.

Try to fast forward to that part. Chances are, you had a severe bonding experience with this person and the sight of him/her reminds you of what a lonely and feeble person you once were. The cheap and easy way out is to pretend like you see through them and walk away, unless s/he approaches you first.

Situation 2: Here Today, Gone Tomorrow

So, you're at a party with some kids from your floor, and you have this crazy, long conversation with someone while waiting for beer/the bathroom. S/he won't remember you tomorrow. It happens. Let it go.

Situation 3: Freak But True

A week into school you realize that your newfound best bud is really a lunatic. Desperate for company, you have befriended the kid across the hallway/upstairs/who accosted you on the way to the bathroom one night. It seemed like a great idea at the time. You had someone to eat meals with, a partner at scheduled events, and a pal to investigate the grounds with. All of a sudden those little quirks you noticed are really vast holes in her/his personality. Oh no. S/he's insane. Now you find your "friend" at every twist and turn. In the morning, there it is. At meals, oh look, it saved you a seat. Attracted to your "friend" because of its extrovert personality, you suddenly find that it knows everyone, and everyone commonly refers to it as "the freak". Oh look, you're the freak's bestest friend. Not a good position to be in. Sever all ties.

Situation 4: " Um, Beer?" or "I Only Drink Imports".

Unless you were reared in a dumpster and got into college with your essay entitled "Wrestling Breakfast From the Alley Rats", you've probably lead a pretty sheltered life. There's nothing wrong with that. However, people deal with their new freedom differently. Chances are, freshman year will not pass you by without running into 1) The Naive One and 2) The Sophisticate. Here you have the kid who seems to have never seen a beer and then the one that refuses to be surprised by anything. This can either result in dragging home your silly friend after half a beer and a table dance, or hours of watching other people and discussing their shortcomings. Stick it out with number 1. Most people grow out of this phase and are only left with memories of things like topless trampolines. Start worrying when s/he completes the beers of the world collection. Alone. In a weekend. Number 2 is probably painfully self-conscious and takes it out on others. Unfortunately an overabundant force in the world, the sophisticate deserves to be shot, but you can do your part through avoidance.

Situation 5: "I used to be a psychopath but now I'm fine."

Yeah. Run.

Situation 6: Makeout Madness

Check it out. Someone you connect with. You go out and have a great time. Until it's time to go home. Suddenly, there you are, stranded. Member of the opposite sex came by and you were left with the punch bowl. This situation can be easily remedied. Bring an extra friend along. And practice your poker face(you'll need it when sitting on the couch at a party and trying not to notice that your friend is next to you dry humping someone you both just met).

Situation 7: "Hey What's Up"*

Yeah, you don't hang out, don't ever have a full conversation, and probably can't even remember their name, but you can't go wrong with a "Hey, What's Up" friend. About two months into the semester when, despite your precautions, you realize you hate all your friends, "Hey What's Up " will be a welcome and friendly face. Hold on to that one, but not tight enough to start an actual conversation.

Perhaps now you have caught on. Obligation is your enemy. You can join in on the scheduled friend-making activities and casually yet urgently make friends so as not to appear a lonely sap, but it's easier to sit on the sidelines and pick up friends as you come across them. Being alone is not bad, and far preferable to frightening attachments.

Your first months at college are trying. It's nearly impossible to avoid all confrontation in friend making. Sure, that girl you found so mysterious was in a cult, and that closet homosexual/heterosexual was so interested in you because he thought you were in the closet/on your way out. You'll find your place eventually. Once you realize the mistakes you made, you can relish in your naivete. Good friends can come from your worst mistakes.