At some point, a natural equilibrium is reached, and the locale rests in a precarious balance of allure and repugnance. One general rule of thumb in bathroom choice is that the women's water closet is of greater desirability than the little boy's room. Whether this is due to an acknowledgment of the fact that women spend more time than men in the bathroom or simply a response to the fact that women are less willing to put up with repugnance in their powder rooms notwithstanding, this fact of bathroom selection is indisputable.

A second generally accepted principle among the bathroom aesthete is the possibility that there exists some secret Eden of the bathroom world which lies hidden in some undiscovered abode. It is just this possibility that this author seeks to explore. In reverse order of ranking:

(generic) Residence Hall
If bathrooms were compared to eateries, residence hall bathrooms are analogous to campus dining, not bad after a few 40's when you don't feel like walking far, but not really the type of place that you want to bring a date. Highlights include a beautiful new lavatory on McBain 2 and a sparkling water closet on the ground floor of Hartley, directly next to the elevator for A and B suites. See that look on your date's face now? A little discretion and preparation goes a long way.

5. Lewisohn Lawn
Some investigative reporting yeilded a nice cushioning grass that yeilds easily to the trowel. Alternately, a strange ceramic item in between Fayerweather and Avery provides a nice pit privy.

4. Butler Library
Generally clean and quite unutilized when compared to the number of students in the library. Nevertheless, the diuretic effect of excessive coffee can take its toll...

3. Sink, Wien 424
Though perhaps not epitome of bathroom, this facility is nevertheless quite functional and can be perfect for the relief of unforeseen circumstances.

2. Lerner
Particularly if you are willing to venture into those back areas (you probably do not know to where I am referring; think of how big Lerner is, then think of how much you have yet to explore...) there are oases that have seldom felt the touch of human flesh. Seek and ye shall find.