The yuppies of today need a reminder of their values of yesteryear (oh, the days of preaching on Low Library steps). Who better than ex-prize-fighter, Ralph "Lefty" Nader, to take the initiative and remind men that being Green doesn't mean being soft? Move over, Tyler Durden, and enter Ralph Nader's Fight Corporations Club.

1st Rule of this Fight Club: You do not talk about Fight Club.

With all the major CEOs, Congressmen, and powerful men in the country attending Ralph's therapeutic ass-kicking sessions, there cannot be a chance of these names leaking to any publications (e.g. Microsoft's Bill Gates, Amazon's Jeff Bezos, Democratic ticket VP Joe Lieberman, William Shatner). We definitely don't need to know which old senator's tits are bared each night because of the no-shirt policy. Besides, who'd want to lose an opportunity to sock Nader?

It's a sure thing that the men are here to release all the aggression given by their high-paying, high-profile jobs...not to mention their high-maintenance wives. This is why Fight Club works. No silly government policies could hold men accountable for all their underhanded corporate tricks. Only a chance at the man whose punches are known as "Unsafe at Any Speed" can do that, even if it is a load of crap. Who needs debates when your two fists talk louder than Gore and Dubya together?

2nd Rule of this Fight Club: Essentially the 1st Rule, only more dramatic because of repetition.

Don't get caught with your lips flapping or your pants down. The last person who blabbed about Fight Club got his just desserts. Some say cutting Bill Clinton's testicles off was a service to humanity...and interns.

3rd Rule of this Fight Club: When someone says "stop" or goes limp, the fight is over.

Bob Dole won't admit he attends Fight Club, but he will state he never says "stop," and certainly never goes limp. Nader knows that the boys at Pfizer are responsible for this. Drugs and corporate sponsorship make Nader sick. It would be easy enough for him to take on Dole, but he really wants a chance at a certain candidate that isn't a member of Fight Club, yet. To do that, Ralph needs YOUR help.

Spreading his ideals by literally fighting the corporations and putting them in a world of hurt makes Ralph Nader the perfect model for a modern-day, political prophet for the new millennium. Ralph doesn't need rules; rules only get in his way. He doesn't need or want to be the next president. This was all a marketing ploy to spread his anarchic message and to plant a seed. The seed that will grow into a tall Green plant, cultivated on his own turf, free of the preconceptions of a need for a two-party system, corporate-based economies, and corrupt candidates.