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From the Middle School Issue (Dec 2000):
Personal Integrity and Dodgeball K-8ers Can Bring Both These Things to Columbia Erin Thompson I had a lot more personal integrity in middle school. I had no friends and didn't care. I did my own thing, which mostly involved slow, introspective laps around the playground. I pondered dodgeball strategy, the price of Otter Pops at the snack booth, and why Animal Farm is a famous book. My thoughts: 1. Wait until the person is on the verge of releasing the ball, and then kneel down as they throw it into your former airspace and look like a fool. Unless you duck too soon, in which case they correct their aim towards your now cowering target and you look like a fool. 2. They were But look at me now. I've sold out to. I'm not sure to what, and I sure didn't receive much compensation, but that's what I say to myself: I've sold out. I am the Man. I have sought out professors after class to complement them on their lecture. (Note: if you, the reader, have received such a comment, I really meant it.) Wait - I haven't become the Man. I do really mean those things I say in favor of knowledge! I do loathe some instructors who act like they loathe instructing! I need a return to middle school days, where I and my fellows could sincerely act on those sentiments without appearing to be a bunch of kiss-up pansies! (Note: I still use my middle school pseudo-curse word vocabulary.) An influx of the K-8 crowd is needed at Columbia. The current students already do all the things they would, but they would do them with so much more aplomb. For example, the ancient Life-Long Learner who sits in the front row center of one of my classes has forgotten the 'Learner' part of his mandate and instead falls asleep repeatedly, waking when I kick the bottom of his chair with all the fury a Life-Long-In-Debt-For-Learning-Learner can have. Now, consider how much better a kindergartner would accomplish this. She'd use indoor manners and keep her hands to herself during the lecture, and then whip out a foam mat after snack-time. No more upright napping! This is the wisdom of K-8. And then there's the primordial issue of teacher-baiting. At the present, comments that torment the teacher are usually comments designed to impress the teacher gone horribly wrong. You hear that, annoying philosophy class students? A good 7th grader knows that annoying the teacher does not make the rest of the class want to slap you. (Here that, annoying philosophy class students? You know who you are. Actually, you probably don't know who you are, which makes it even worse.) But here's where the middle schoolers learn from us. We, the college students, who thirst for knowledge, hate teachers for different reasons. In middle school, teacher-baiters do their thing to one and all, just because they would rather be playing doctor and snorting Pixie Stix. But we need their skills to shoot down the college professors who hate teaching just as much as teacher-baiters hate learning. Then the good professors can be treated like 5th graders treat good teachers. Like they actually have something valuable to say. In conclusion: if only we got to dress up like Egyptians more often.
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