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Oh yes. These are conversations before her death which, after her death, I had to have with her in my mind. I anticipate on the basis of the past what her position would be.

So you really re-create it, her position.

That's right.

So in that sense she was still with you.

No question about it, and very valuable. In fact it prevented the retreat in the face of a loss.

I think that you said, at the close of the last interview, that you both knew she was going to go. Could you elaborate on your feelings on both sides--your feelings as you recall them, and her feelings as you sensed them?

I didn't have to sense them. We discussed it. Her feelings were centered around the courage of this woman, as indicated by her statement--her repeated statement: “Kenneth, we can't complain. We have had an effective life, a constructive life. No one promised us eternity.” She was a quietly courageous person. While she was telling me, we can't complain, I was complaining inside. I guess one of the things that I was most disturbed about was that she was predeceasing me. I felt all along that she was the stronger of the two, and would be better able to handle my loss than I, apparently,