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in a position of feeling that he should conceal certain things from his father and mother, or put a good face on them. It was not that they were disgraceful things. They were just youthful things that were not acceptable or interesting to Papa and Mama. When they were spoken of at all, they should be treated very lightly. You see in his early letters all those touches of making it appear funny, a sort of pretentious funniness about things. That's what you do to protect yourself and to protect your inner life. You let your parents and relatives think that you think this is all funny. You don't let them know that you're deeply hurt inside. You don't let anybody ever know that anything hurts you. That's the first rule of it. Don't let them know that anything made you mad.

That was something that my sister could never learn - that you must never let anyone know that anything angered you. She was much more honest than were the rest of the family who thought that if somebody sold you out and did you dirty, you should keep a perfectly calm face and be very pleasant.

Al Smith grew up in a community where you loved people and they loved you. You shared everything. Friendship meant total friendship. You didn't say “school friend,” or “neighborhood friend,” or “dancing school