"Americans eat more fat... [and] they eat more sugar... than any other people on earth. Americans also experience more episodes of acute hunger each day than any other people on earth – many [Americans] eat 11 times a day... and Americans do less physical work per day than any other nation. We ride more and walk less than other people. Could it be this combination that is fattening up Americans?... Is America’s romance with fabricated foods killing her by degrees?"
~Paul A. Stitt, MS, Biochemistry, www.nutrition4health.org/nohanews/NNSp94AmericansFat.htm
"You want to know the real reason we have declared holy jihad? Celebrity Fit Club."
~Osama Bin Laden, private interview
The luxuriously lugubrious Philolexian Society cordially invites you to a debate:
RESOLVED: Everyone Hates America Because We Are Fat.
Come and show off those voluptuous curves.
When: Thursday Jan. 18th
9:00pm snacks and schmooze
9:30pm (sharp) - the debate begins!
Where: Broadway Room (2nd floor of Lerner, next to the piano lounge)
Be there or you won't get the exercise you so vitally need.
~the will o' the whip