My brain attempts suicide every time I go to the front page of yahoo, and see that the top story involves a celebrity (ie. Worthless news). It jumps out of my ear, and looks for a ledge to jump off. It screams, “Babylon has fallen!” I have to tackle it, and shove it back into my skull. Every time. Well, I’ve made a deal with my brain, so that I never lose it: I’ll highlight interesting, yet useful news. (Let’s define ‘useful news’ as stuff that has the potential to affect you and me politically, economically, et et al.) So, here are five articles I found which I felt fit that description.

1) In South Korea, scientist made fluorescent cats. Let’s play catch in the dark using the kittens!

2) In Pakistan, President Musharraf lifts state of emergency. Shit is still scary.

3) NATO plans to stay in Afghanistan. Educated hookers disagree.

4) New Jersey votes to end the death penalty; first state “since 1965 to repeal capital punishment.” After having a governor in-the-closet, a peculiar scent, and a high crime rate, it is also still the weirdest state since 1965, after the Civil Rights Act of 1964 eliminated segregation, which occurred in the southern states,1,985658.story?coll=la-news-politics-national&track=crosspromo

5) A list of New York State’s most wanted fugitives. I hate the human race.

I hope you all noticed the references to the Bible and Chris Rock. RAWR


The following is a brief meditation:

Predators attack the meek. Predators attack those they think will be easy targets.

Some of you will remember that a certain individual raped and tortured a Columbia graduate student for 19 hours. This occurred last spring. Now, this event is absurd in its details, and most violent acts don’t even resemble this one. But they are similar in the general event—one person attacks another to own them. As simple as that.

Weeks ago, police arrested a mugger who attacked women. The mugger often pretended he had a gun.

Most events similar to this are mundane. As simple as two men walking down the sidewalk in opposite directions, and staring each other down for no other reason than they want to punk the other one out. But nothing happens because both of the dudes are afraid the other one has a gun. They each want power over the other, but don’t want to get hurt, either.

Power. Power. Power.

You rarely hear about “one unarmed man robbing four wrestlers.” Even an attempt.
Most of these fuckers don’t have the balls to attack their victims on equal terms. Any asshole can pick up a few guns, and pretend to be the Punisher until his bullets run out, or a police sniper puts him down. Without the guns, without their buddies, and without the big bad sneer they are just punks. Mice.

They act tough until they run into somebody they know could whoop their ass. In the end, for these people, power results in victory, but survival is good enough.



Alberto L.
The Philolexian Society
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