More Kilmer B-sides! Moderator emeritus Christopher Travis delivered the following, if you recall, while we were waiting for some fellows to repair the sound. Side-note: I've been in the Held Auditorium for maybe seven different events over the past two years, and every single time the sound's been shot to bits. The last time was at this past Woodbridge Lecture series with Onora O'Neill—Kantian, Cantabrigian, and British Parliamentarian—who somehow despite the microphone's having broken could not bring herself to speak above a whisper. Praise be to her Queen's English accent and consequent impeccable diction.

Chris Travis's God also has impeccable diction, although perhaps not in that way. Still, somehow I think Donne would have been proud.

The Hungry Sonnet;

Or, “If John Donne’s Problem was Gluttony, not Lechery”;

Or, “The Safe Word is ‘Moist’”

Chris Travis

Batter my heart, three-person’d God;

And set the burner to medium, medium-high,

For you as yet but boil, bake, and sauté; not fry!

That I may be eaten, tenderize me, God,

With your mallet—of love.

(Before you batter me, of course: I’d hate for you to make a mess all over your divine kitchen, O Lord, O big, strong, manly Lord with rippling…anyway…)

O, plunge me deep into your good stuff, your boiling oil—of love;

But once you have cooked me all the way,

Leave me not to burn and die—

Into new skillet, complete with top,

O heavenly chef, there let me plop;

And smother in God’s other good stuff, God’s gravy generously applied.

Yet, even still, I’m not fit food for thee.

Please don’t taste, unless you garnish me!

The Philolexian Society
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