Past Kilmer Winners

Kilmer

Past Kilmer Winners

• 2008
  • Winner: Stephen blair CC '11, "Anatomy"
  • First Runner-up: Edward Rueda CC '05, "Trees 2008"
  • Second Runner-up: Jacob Rice CC '12, "Hamlet"
  • Third Runner-up: Peter Day CC '12, "Choices"
  • Dishonorable Mention: Adam Katz CC '08, "Rhapsody on the Name Saxby Chambliss"
  • Dishonorable Mention: Robyn Schneider BC '08.5, "Tay-Sacks Fifth Avenue"
  • Dishonorable Mention: Amitai Schlair GS '09, "Recently Uncovered Draft Manuscript of Ascrapius, a lesser poet of Athens"
• 2007
  • Winner: Amitai Schlair GS '09, "My Husband Was In There, Like A Kumquat! or, Explosion At The Poem Factory or, 364 Days Without A Lost Rhyme Accident or, St. Elmo's Fife or, It's Definitely One Of These Titles, We Haven't Conclusively Determined Which Quite Yet, But Don't Worry, Forensic Poets Are Already On The Scene And We'll Be Sure To Keep You Posted or, This Just In, It's Not The Fife One" (Audio)
  • First Runner-up: Everett C. Patterson CC '06, "I Got a Post-Modern Woman Or: I Got Ninety-Nine Problematizations, and a Bitch is One. Or: Martin Heidegger? I Hardly Know Her!" (Audio)
  • Second Runner-up: Joshua Schwartz GS '08, "The Shape of my Love" (Audio)
  • Third Runner-up: Jeana Poindexter CC '11, "For Abbott" (Audio)
  • Honorable Mention: Miranda Elliot CC '10, "Umbrella" (Audio) (Ms. Elliot recited the entire Rihanna song in latin, for which the judges declared the performance "Cum Laude."
• 2006
  • Winner: Yonah Lemonik CC '07, "Psalm"
  • First Runner-up: Jonah Bloch-Johnson CC '08 and Phyllis Ma CC '09, "Leftovers"
  • Second Runner-up: Rob Frawley CC '10, "Put your Pudding Where your Mouth Is"
  • Third Runner-up: Maggie Lane CC '09 and Sasha Stewart CC '09, "Meditations from the Bottom of a Wells"
  • Honorable Mention: Edward A. Rueda (CC ’05) Everett Patterson (CC ’06), "L’Orfeo y Selfone – the Lost Monteverdi Opera" (for being too good to win)
  • Honorable Mention: Eric LeSueur CC '06, "When The Economist met the New Yorker"
  • All Winning Poems
• 2005
  • Winner: Everett C. Patterson CC '06, "Lamentation Upon Surveying the Destruction of a Battlefield"
  • First Runner-up: Yonah Lemonik CC '07, "Slumming it with the Metaphysicals"
  • Second Runner-up: Michal Richardson BC '06, "The Five Degrees of Unavailability"
  • Third Runner-up: Amitai Schlair GS '09, "Untitled," "Three poems in the style of Ogden Nash," and "Ode from a Grecian Urn"
  • All Winning Poems
• 2004
  • Winner: Joshua Schwartz GS '08, "(For Mrs. Henry Mills Alden) or: deep thoughts on laundry or: repeating random nouns and then attaching that same noun to some profound emotion is comedic gold, the gold of joy"
  • First Runner-up: Edward Rueda CC '05, "The Childhood Memories and Songs of Experience of George Prescott Bush, the Young, Half-Mexican Grandson of President George Bush the First, Nephew of President George Bush the Second, and Possible Future First Latino President of the United States"
  • Second Runner-up: Mike Ilardi CC '06 with illustrations by Edward Rueda CC '05, "I Love Little Pussy"
  • All Winning Poems
• 2003
  • Winner: Everett C. Patterson CC '06, "The Ballad of Sweet Donna Lee"
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• 2002
  • Winner: Michael Mallow CC '05 and Matthew Harrison CC '05
  • First Runner-up: David Lane CC '03
  • Second Runner-up: Andy Shiner CC '96
• 2001
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• 2000
  • Winner: Shoshana Greenberg BC '04
  • First Runner-up: Ben Kopit CC '02
  • Second Runner-up: Shaun Hanson CC '02
  • Third Runner-up: Amanda Sneider CC '02
• 1999
  • Winner: Peter Koechley
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• 1998
  • Winner: Michael Ryan
  • First Runner-up: Maria King BC '99, "Viagara For My Soul"
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• 1997
  • Winner: Gideon Yago CC '00, "The Hunt or Why Psychopathic Guys Like Jody Foster"
  • First Runner-up: Andy Shiner CC '96
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• 1996
  • Winner: Hannah Riley CC '00, "Bounce, or George Stephanopoulos' Balls"
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• 1995
  • Winner: Jay Michaelson CC '93, "The Deleterious Effects of Manhandling Ruddy First Mates"
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• 1994
  • Winner: Ruth Mason CC' 97, "An Ode to a Philosopher Who Is Not Nietzsche Because I Am NOT Stuck in a Rut (in 5 pillars)"
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• 1993
  • Winner: Nathaniel Daw CC '96, "Baptism of Sorrow"
  • First Runner-up: Ali Lemer CC '94
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• 1992
  • Winner: Rob Marko CC '96, "My Mother is a Doughnut"
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• 1991
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• 1990
  • Winner: John Deal CC '93
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• 1989
  • Winner: Addison Golladay CC '93, "Ice Age"
  • Runners-up: Thomas J. Vinciguerra CC '85, Robert Mitchell CC '92, Jay Michaelson CC '93, and Alex Kuczynski BC '90
• 1988
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• 1987
  • Winner: Jeff Rake CC '90
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• 1986
  • Winner: Howard Kreger CC '90
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Related links

• The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest
• The Lyttle Lytton Contest
• William Topaz McGonagall, poet
• Washington Post Style Invitational: Bad Analogies (and followup 1 and followup 2)