Obsequious address

Obsequious address, n.

(also obsequy, though this is highly non-standard usage). During a regular Philo meeting, the would-be speaker delivers an address which will sway the Moderator to allow him/her to approach the podilectern. Usually an obsequious address highlights the awesomeness of the Moderator, but you must tread carefully! Remember: references to light, might, or height are considered trite. So if you're trite, forget about approaching the podilectern to give your speech (unless you're the Avatar, of course). Also, remember to always end your obsequious address by saying "May I approach yon podilectern?" (It's not a podium and it's not a lectern: it's a podilectern!)

Additionally: Sexequies -- or obsequies which make lewd suggestions or other comments of sexual nature involving the Moderator -- are frowned upon. N.B. This constraint was saliently relaxed during the Schmonzerator's tenure. However, if you are Mr. Van Sant, if you strip like Mr. Van Sant, or if the Moderator thinks you're as hot as Mr. Van Sant, you will be allowed to deliver your sexequy to a receptive Moderator and audience, and will subsequently be allowed to approach the podilectern.