We are all entitled to 3 chickens

• “I want there to be no peasant in my kingdom so poor that he cannot have a chicken in his pot every Sunday” - Henry IV, confusedly attempting to cheer up his countrymen despite their innumerable attempts to murder him

• "I don't want to be a pie!" - Babs the Chicken, selfishly placing her survival above my momentary desire for food with no nutritional value

• “We can see a thousand miracles around us every day. What is more supernatural than an egg yolk turning into a chicken?” - S. Parkes Cadman, who has clearly never witnessed a chicken turning into a mischievous gnome

This week, the Philolexian Society performs a brief thought experiment:

1. There are currently 7 billion humans and 19 billion chickens alive on planet earth.

2. If all resources are equally distributed, every human should receive approximately three chickens.

3. By the same logic, every human should also receive 0.000014 sperm whales, 0.00000023 lion feet, 0.0000000452 tree frog livers, 0.000000000142 members of the cast of Happy Days, and one human being.

Agree? Disagree? Hungry? Join Philo this Thursday at 8:30pm in the Satow Room to debate r: We are all entitled to 3 chickens

Announcements: Phlyering at 8:30 Monday night in the Diana lobby