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questions require me to do, and I could go on --
I trust it will make it a more valuable memoir for future historians and others.
But what's bothering me about it is that I am seeing my own futility more clearly than I
ordinarily permit myself to see. And that's not a particularly pleasant thing to see.
I've wasted a hell of a lot of time, pursuing will-o-the-wisp goals, you know -- Justice
and Decency and Clarity and stuff like that. As Ray said to me, when I told him about
setting up this firm -- he said, “Kenneth, why didn't you do this ten years
And you know, as I look back and see our balance sheet for the past month, I say to
myself, “Well, Kenneth, why the helldidn't you do this
ten years ago? Or for that matter, fifteen years ago?”
Maybe I couldn't have.
I spent a hell of a lot of time on elusive things.
I believe it was the Nobel Laureate Norman Borlaug who frequently makes chiding and
needling references to “people chasing butterflies.”
I've even chased gossamer butterflies, I think. You know. Gosh --
I get upset with the young people who do a lot of introspection. And I may see more
clearly why, now. Introspection can be very inhibiting. If I had stopped and thought about
things that I
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