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valuable experience for me. I was telling somebody at the APA meeting last week that it
was like analysis, in a way, only to me more focussed. It was free of the preoccupation
with symptoms, except that if you looked at yourself, you saw that what you were really
revealing was the totality of your symptoms!
You know, without belaboring any particular symptom, you were really, in a sense,
reviewing your life and yourself, and what kind of person you are.
One of the things that interests me about the process is the extent to which things come
out without your planning, you know. And I don't know how anyone else would take this, but
I have been myself surprised at things that I said about myself, and the revelations of
insights about myself that I didn't really know I had.
For example, the kind of -- the persistence of perversity. Or the persistence of-- as if
I had been deliberately trying to be different. And I really don't think I have been
deliberately trying to be different, but damn it, I've been
different, in ways -- and in this process, I've just had to face that fact.
Fortunately, I am at the age now when it really doesn't matter a damn. You know, 62. What
the hell. You are what you are. Maybe if I were engaging in this process 20, 30 years ago,
I would try to do something about myself. It's too late-- thank God!
And I have a damned curious hunch that, if I had the opportunity, I probably wouldn't do
very much different. You know, I really deep down believe that whatever the determinants
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