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when I shouldn't have been. I didn't know what a deep, psychological blow it was to her. I was with her, but I could have been more with her at that time. And maybe if I had used some of the connections I had, or later had, I could have gotten her medical help that would have gotten her through it. But it was marginal, in terms of her health, so she didn't press it and certainly I didn't.

Did you ever consider adoption?

Yes, and until a friend of ours, or, essentially a friend of mine, in business, adopted twins, just magnificent little children who turned out to be total disasters--She was aware of that and wasn't prepared to risk the investment of time and the heartbreak of having children that weren't yours and you just didn't know enough about. Paley had adopted two children, and they had a great deal of difficulty with them. But they would have had difficulty with any children! But it's difficult to know whether that's something that's hardwired into the situation, or whether it's an environmental problem. And we had other friends who had adopted children; some were okay, some weren't. So she was never that dedicated to the idea of adoption. And I guess I said, that one time, I always felt that because of my heritage and because of my crazy work schedule and health problems, that I would go long before she went. And it turned out to be the other way around.

I know she used to say to me at times, “You know, if I go before you do, I just hope you remember where things are in the house, etc.,” because the house was so much hers. In fact, she accused me of not liking the house, and, indeed, I feel very bad about that because I did like the house because she liked it.