The Fed

Dildos Galore

Adventures in a Sex Boutique

Nurse Sherri

It was early Saturday afternoon when my friend Alison and I decided to bid adieu to our milk-fed prudery and explore sexdom. The day was ours for the taking and the making, and the place was Toys In Babeland.
    Founded during Pride Weekend ’98. This quaint little shop is situated snugly in the queer-friendly enclave of the lower east side (94 Rivington Street) and boasts an all-women staff. Upon entering the store, one is greeted by warm, dimmed lights and a cozy, enveloping haze that instills a new-agey feel, more exotic and erotic than Time Square Variety sleaze.  Being that it was our first time, Alison and I were quite nervous. We quickly opened the curtain-covered door and slipped in.
    The shopkeeper greeted us. The word "Thunderpussy" ran in bold black letters across her pink shirt. Her name was Katia, and we knew she’d have the answers to all of our questions. After a brief introduction, Katia gave us a grand tour of the place. "As you can see," she began to say, as she came out from behind the counter, "we’re different from our competitors in that we’re very user-friendly -- al toys are out on the counter, so we can show you how they work, and we can also bring them out from the stockroom. Basically, we want our customers to feel comfortable, and to have the option of a hands on trial session before purchasing the merchandise."
    She led us first to the literature collection, which was disappointingly modest in number. It includes erotica, comic books, and manuals on sex to suit almost every taste (lesbian, transgender, S & M, gay, anal and of course, "straight" sex)." Their selection on bisexuality, which is as legitimate an orientation as any other, was limited to Bi Any Other Name, a compilation of essays by and about self-proclaimed bisexuals, and another book of a similar sentimental nature.
    I asked Katia about the scant offering: "Well, since you can pretty much find books like this almost anywhere, we wanted to give our customers what they can’t get from anywhere else, such as toys you see around you." And they’re accommodating, too: "We’re always taking suggestions, so if you have a book in mind, let us know, and we’ll try to get it for you." [Surprisingly enough, a few days later, on a run to get books for my classes, I found a much more extensive offering of books about sexuality (under the "Self-Help" rubric, no less) at the more (sexually) modest Barnes and Noble on 82nd.]
    The toys were next. Being no Susie Sexperts, Alison and I were fascinated by the various devices lying on the counters. Katia sensed our curiosity and led us through the display. "The toys are grouped according to the type of stimulation, either vaginal or clitoral, although some do both. These are the vibrators - we have hand-held and plug-in (with cords, into outlets) varieties. The Slimline Minis are the standard vibrators for penetration. The newer ones over there (pointing to several obtrusive-looking mechanisms) are what you’d commonly call the shower massagers, bigger and bulkier than the others. They’re for outer stimulation. And, for pleasure on the go, we have the Pocket Rocket ($21), which you can take (and use) almost anywhere."
    Moving clockwise around the table, Katia held up a vibrator with what appeared to be a cute little animal peeping out from one end. "This is our newest and by far the most popular product, the Rabbit Pearl from Japan -- for both penetration and clitoral stimulation. See these pearl-like beads? They rotate to stimulate the vaginal walls while the bunny ears vibrate to stimulate the clit." Talk about getting the best of both worlds, and not to mention multiple orgasms.
    Then we got to the end of the table. "Now, so far, you’ve seen toys for women. These over here are for men, but some women find them to suit their needs as well. This is a butt plug for anal play and penetration - men, gay or straight, keep it in while they’re having sex. For men, the prostate is somewhat comparable to the G-spot." So what’s the freakiest thing Toys in Babeland has to offer? The FleshLight ($48) for men, a 16-inch prototype of a flashlight with what looks very much like a simulated female mouth (I’ll leave it to the good reader to figure out the rest).
    Next we hit the dildo display. While most were propped up with stands, some of them, by their sheer weight and length, had to be laid sideways. Alison gasped at the sight of what seemed to be two very dead members, one black and one peachy-colored, but after all, this is Toys in Babeland, and fantasy is the name of the game. "These are the life-like models," explained Katia. "Scary looking, aren’t they?" Oh, they were, and quite veiny too.
    And what sex shop is complete without S & M paraphernalia? "Well, as you can see," said Katia, pointing to the rack adorned with what seemed to be black leather leashes, "we really don’t have such a selection, because there are so many S & M stores in the city. We do have some bondage cuffs, fur aligned or not, little mitts, paddles but they’re not for serious players." So what is? According to our guide, it’s The Leather Man in the West Village between Greenwich Avenue and 12th: "If you want to see some of the real stuff, this is the place to go."
    With the tour regrettably over, Alison and I thanked our gracious hostess. Feeling obliged for her troubles, we purchased a small book of soft-core porn and left the store feeling just a bit more naughty.

September ish, 1999