This verse has been retained in the selection only to make
the form of the ghazal; otherwise, the verse is commonplace. With 'fountain'
there was no need to say 'of water'. In the line there are many words of
padding [bhartii]. ko))ii has
been used as one long syllable; in Mir's time this was not improper. The
wordplay of chashm and chashmah
is obvious. And then, from this perspective the verse is not devoid of interest,
that in it the beloved's weeping has been mentioned....
Thus Iqbal too, in a peerless verse, has not been able
to avoid [unnecessarily saying 'of water']. A famous verse of ;xi.zr-e
raah is:
aur vuh paanii ke chashme par muqaam-e
kaaravaa;N
ahl-e iimaa;N jis :tara;h jinnat me;N gird-e salsabiil
[and those haltings of the caravan at fountains of water
the way in Paradise the people of faith surround Salsabil]
For the way Nasir Kazmi has used the image of the weeping
of the fountain, it would be hard to find a peer:
andherii shaam ke parde me;N chhup kar
kise rotii hai chashme kii ravaanii
[having hidden in the pardah of the dark night
for whom does the flowingness of the fountain weep?]
I don't see why the weeping has to be the beloved's. In
fact that possibility never occurred to me until I read SRF's commentary.
Why can't the surging fountain memorialize the lover's weeping, as seems
more in the traditional ghazal vein?
S. R. Faruqi:
This verse has been retained in the selection only to make the form of the ghazal; otherwise, the verse is commonplace. With 'fountain' there was no need to say 'of water'. In the line there are many words of padding [bhartii]. ko))ii has been used as one long syllable; in Mir's time this was not improper. The wordplay of chashm and chashmah is obvious. And then, from this perspective the verse is not devoid of interest, that in it the beloved's weeping has been mentioned....
Thus Iqbal too, in a peerless verse, has not been able to avoid [unnecessarily saying 'of water']. A famous verse of ;xi.zr-e raah is:
aur vuh paanii ke chashme par muqaam-e kaaravaa;N
ahl-e iimaa;N jis :tara;h jinnat me;N gird-e salsabiil
[and those haltings of the caravan at fountains of water
the way in Paradise the people of faith surround Salsabil]
For the way Nasir Kazmi has used the image of the weeping of the fountain, it would be hard to find a peer:
andherii shaam ke parde me;N chhup kar
kise rotii hai chashme kii ravaanii
[having hidden in the pardah of the dark night
for whom does the flowingness of the fountain weep?]