S. R. Faruqi:

In this verse a problem of [Yunani] medicine [:tibb] has been very excellently versified. There's a disease of the heart called 'ischaemia'. In it the amount of blood reaching the heart becomes less than necessary. As a result, there begins to be pain in the left side of the chest, which advances to the left shoulder and usually reaches to the arm and the wrist.

Now please look: Mir mentioned the agitation of the heart, and created an explanation/justification for a pain in the shoulder and a disease of the heart. Then he mentioned the separation from the side, and thus also created an explanation/justification for the agitation of the heart.

Atish took these same two rhyme-words and the theme of 'pain in the shoulder' and polluted their substance like this:

vuh naaznii;N yih nazaakat me;N kuchh yagaanah hu))aa
jo pahnii phuulo;N kii bandhii to dard-e shaanah hu))aa

[that coquettish one became so unique in delicacy
when she tied on a corsage of flowers, then pain in the shoulder occurred]

The theme was low-class to begin with; the yih and kuchh both have been pushed so far afield, and in place of thaa , through the necessity of the refrain he's written hu))aa -- well, that's really pretty much the limit [rahii sahii kamii bhii puurii ho ga))ii]. The prose of the first line will be like this: 'that coquettish one became so unique in delicacy'. From his saying yih and kuchh , then hu))aa , the interpretation emerges that formerly she wasn't unique in delicacy; now she has become so.

In Mir's verse there's not a single syllable of padding, not to speak of weakness in versification. On the use of yih kuchh in Mir's verse, compare

{25,15},

and

{42,4}.

Mir himself has lifted this theme from [the Persian of] Mirza Razi Danish:

'That faraway-fleeing gazelle came near me after a long time,
and the pounding of the heart produced pain in my side.'

But it's manifestly clear that Mir has raised the theme from one level to another, especially because Mir, by mentioning the beloved's rising from beside him, created a full 'proof' of pain in the shoulder, and the medical term for pain in the shoulder itself is better than the mention of pain in the side.

[See also {863,1}; {1037,1}; {1237,4}.]

FWP:

SETS
MOTIFS
NAMES
TERMS == PROOF

SRF finds it poetically meritorious that Mir has made the lover's 'disease' of passion converge with, or incorporate, actual symptoms of a form of heart disease. I suppose this might be classified as a form of 'elegance in assigning a cause' [;husn-e ta((liil]. But it still doesn't grab me. It makes for only a trifling kind of cleverness, to my mind.

More enjoyable is the description of the beloved as a unique or incomparable 'heart-stealer'. For what could be more (bizarrely, paradoxically) productive of heart palpitations, than to have the heart actually stolen away?