The Fed

Yoda Takes On Horror Movies

I sense much fear in you

Amy Phillips

The Blair Witch Project

Three lost in woods, there are. Disappear, they do. Used force, they should have. Cell phone perhaps. Bitch-slapped Heather, they should have. Witch, is there one? Go in there do not! Special effects and money there were none, unlike my movies it is. From camera work sick I became. Better than movie website is. Real it is not. Believe I want to.

Halloween

Face he has not. Kill sister he does. Kill cheerleader he does. Kill football player he does. Kill baby-sitter he does not. Jamie Lee Curtis he stalks. Young she is. Dead he is not. Suck sequels do. Pee in my pants I did. Wear pants, I do no longer.

Scream

Hot chicks there are many. Tight sweaters Rose McGowan wears. Die first Drew Barrymore does. Annoying Neve Campbell is. To be funny it wants. Scary it is not. Predict killer did I. Sucks irony does.

Psycho

Color there is none. Light sabers there are none. Knife there is one. Cool music is. Scarier than Death Star: motel is. Die early main character does. The Emperor: Hitchcock is. Shower I will not.

Killer Klownz From Outer Space

Theme song, Dickies perform. Great art it is not. Like battle droids, clowns are. Midnight on USA it wasq shown. In popcorn-filled cotton candy cocoons people they smother. Of clowns, children beware! Seen it many people have. Admit it, they will not.

The Exorcist

Beat up Darth Maul Linda Blair could. Green vomit, she spews. On floor, she pees. In a circle, her head spins. Curse, little girl does. Funny, it is. Stop, time does. Religion, it works. Or Force it could be.

December 1, 1999